Hi Steve
Just got this through and had a quick look - sounds like just what I need to
be doing right now so printing it off and as I have lost ICQ so can’t chat to
you anymore I’m going to go read it and see what I come up with.
Probably back on later and maybe post how I got on.
Thanks for your help - hope all is well with everyone else.
Indi
As promised, a couple of ABC’s that I worked on/posted early on in my
quit, with Steve’s help. At first I found it hard to do: it was easy
to state the activating event, but I found the B’s and C’s more
tricky:-
**************************************************************
From a post to a quit smoking group:
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2001 15:05:14 -0000
Subject: ABC’s
I quit smoking 4 weeks ago this coming Saturday, and recently had a
distressing family situation to deal with which blindsided me and
gave me
an overwhelming urge to smoke late one evening.
A close relative, whose drink problem has escalated, has caused a lot
of
emotional damage to his family. I had to deal with a late night
(more…)
Reactive and Proactive.
A Reactive ABC is:
We get up and head into a ‘routine’ day. Somewhere, sometime in the day
things start to ‘pile up and on’. We start to experience the early signs
of stress but barely notice it. Why? Because we’re busy being ‘normal’.
Soon the stress has built up more and we might feel the first “hmmmm I
want something. I need something. A cig? “Woah!! I’m feeling the
beginnings of an urge. Based on what’s developed through the day, I realize
I must be stressed. I’ll set up an ABC and see if I can work this through.”
In the reactive situation, I’m pushing myself to work through an exercise
where clear thinking is an asset. But my ability to think critically
through a process that isn’t yet ’second nature’, starts out compromised
because I’m already caught up in the pressure of the moment.
A Proactive ABC is:
Knowing, tonight, that:
(more…)
Hi Cat,
How’d your day go? Were you able to include some preplanned activities
through your day? Did it make any difference other than to just make a
complicated day worse?
Inquiring minds? ……
steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
Hi Indi,
My apologies if that last post upset you. Lets see if we can sooth your
head some.
First you’ve got to remember, I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist.
I’m a carpenter. What I believe and what appears obvious to me, will
only work for you if you can relate it to your own experience. Otherwise,
it’s just some other character’s opinion. Regarding ‘feelings’ still
being involved in our well oiled and ‘automatic’ habits after all this
time, my belief is absolutely. I’m not talking about emotions per se, but
basic feelings or sensations. Look at a smokers basic nicotine addiction
cycle. How did we know it was time to light up? Did we need an alarm clock
or timer to tell us? Was it necessary that someone remind us to smoke? We
knew it was time because we’d ‘feel’ the onset of withdrawal with it’s
initial physical symptoms. Those are an inability to think clearly or to
(more…)
Hi folks,
Indi, it’s great that you’re aware of Hermy and his (it is a ‘he’
isn’t it?) dialogs. But are you really hearing all he’s saying? Are we
aware of what he’s aware of?
This is mostly my take on our Hermys and Warrens and their place within
the dynamic of an urge….
1- We feel something and our awareness, on some level, is aroused.
2- If that ‘feeling’ is such that some response is desirable or necessary,
a decision must be made as to what response would be effective.
3- If the ‘feeling’ is one that we’ve never encountered or one which we’re
unfamiliar with immediately, then our higher brain (the you who is reading
this) gets involved in deciding what might be an effective response.
4- if the ‘feeling’ is one we’ve dealt with in the past and is easily
recognizable, then we, the higher brain us, usually doesn’t get ‘involved’.
(more…)
OK, I’m feeling better now. Had to do some running around tonight, got
home around 10:00 and read the rest of your (Steve) articles on the
ABC’s, etc. Tomorrow is going to be as stressful, if not more
stressful, as today. Because I felt I was losing the battle at work
around noon, I stopped what I was working on (or the ten things I was
working on) and went out on the web and found a support group bulletin
board and soaked up some “sunshine” - sound familiar 
? I felt
better but I know that I still have a lot of work to do before I can
stop and think between event and action when things are hitting me so
fast. One thing that really made me laugh tonight was the bit about
realizing that you’re never going to be able to go on vacation again
and sit on the beach with a beer in one hand and a cig in the other (my
idea of paradise) - you’re going to fall over. Or something like that,
sorry if I got it wrong but that’s exactly how I feel!!!! Off
balance!!!! I keep waiting for something, what am I waiting for? A
(more…)
Hi Steve
Dont know what I’m doing wrong but I cant enter the chat room.Used the
link on your mail but it wont let me in! Help.
Liz
Hi Marde
I’m not an expert but all I can suggest is having a look at the links that
Steve posted - in particular coping with urges - sure helped me understand
and deal with them.
Good luck - keep us informed
Indi
Hi Steve
Thanks for the invite to the chat room - sorry I missed you but for some
reason aol didn’t deliver until much later so didn’t get it until this
morning - by which time I presumed you would be tucked up in bed.
Indi