Hi
Thanks for all the great advice I am getting - I am going to make one
of those lists, although I know there will be hardly any plus points.
Lynne
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….. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE AN ENTRY ON YOUR LIST !!!
I’m hearing people talk about ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reasons. Don’t judge
them, just list them. When you’re thinking about what to put on your
lists, just list everything that comes to mind. Any ‘reason’ to smoke can
be both good and bad. Almost any reason to quit can be useful or useless.
A list of emotions you experience is just that, a list of emotions. DON’T
ATTACH VALUE JUDGEMENTS by saying this one is good or positive and that is
negative.
Here is why it’s so important to make you lists nonjudgemental…. The
‘validity’ of a ‘reason’ or ‘emotion’ is ENTIRELY dependant on 1- your
perception and point of view at moment and 2- whether it’s your higher
brain or automatic/unconscious thoughts that are doing the perceiving.
For now, just make lists of:
1-Reasons to smoke, including when and where. (look at your yrs of smoking
mehavior and just list what you remember. there will be plenty)
2- Reasons to quit.
3- Emotions and conditions you have felt. (emotions i.e. anger, sorrow
and conditions i.e. cold, hot, hungry) www.cognitivequitting.com
Steve
When I made my list I made one for good points and one for bad
points, trying to compare the two and realising the bad far
outweighed the good. But obviously I have misunderstood as this is
not the right way. I will give the other way a go.
Thanks
Lynne
Hi Steve
I have been writing my lists the way you told me and it is better
than listing good and bad. I have realised that I probably smoke
because I have done it for so long and am finding it difficult to
break the pattern. At certain times of the day ie: with coffee I
automatically reach for a cigarette. I may have just had one, but
will still have another, so would it help to not drink so much
coffee? Is that the way it works - by changing you routine?
Lynne
At 10:23 PM 11/8/01 -0000, you wrote:
……
Hi Lynne,
Nope, not really. Changing routines is almost always a component in
a quit. Drinking less would mean fewer instances where the ‘opportunity’ to
have one would present itself. Drinking none would be about as eliminate
the coffee instances. But the established connection tween coffee and
having one would remain. Why did you smoke a cig with a coffee? Don’t say
cuz you always did. What did it taste like? What did the coffee feel like?
What did you feel? www.cognitivequitting.com
Yup. As soon as we’ve inhaled a couple of deep drags we can feel our
‘insides’ just unwind. That’s the feeling I’m looking for when I envision
‘relaxed’… that inner unwinding. There are lots of situations and
times when we want that ‘relaxed’ feeling.
Lynne, what happens when you’re busy? Do you find yourself going at an
accelerated pace? What does that feel like? www.cognitivequitting.com
Hi Steve
If I am at home and busy doing housework I would not say I go at an
accelerated pace, I quite enjoy doing it, it gives me a good feeling
when everything is clean and tidy.
Lynne
for the congrats on my four months I tell you without this
group and this method I would have caved long ago.
Jean you mention how uncomfortable you are and that you might have
left it too late. Believe me I have thought that and thought - whats
the point at my age putting myself through all this trauma????
But honestly since I grasped the cog quit concept it really hasn’t
been a trauma. Yes its been hard at times (like yesterday) and in
the beginning - but once I grasped the concept that it wasn’t
nicotine or any of the other stuff in cigs that my body was demanding
but something else then it became a lot easier to deal with.
Now sometimes I still like the smell of cigs (freshly lit) and I have
a fleeting ‘missing moment’ but most of the time the smell is awful
and I am able to think - glad thats not me anymore.
Hang on in there Jean - keep on reading and trying out the abc’s that
others post if you can’t get around to doing your own. Warren
doesn’t mind if they aren’t original to you - I pinch Cats all the
time:)
Got to go and get ready for work now so got a quick abc for the day.
a) Today is going to be hectic - the phone will be ringing non stop -
due to staff shortages and bad management orders will be late and
customers will be complaining.
b) I can get uptight and cause myself a great deal of inner distress
which I will associate with wanting to smoke.
OR I can take some preventative action.
c) Think after yesterdays experience I will take some preventative
action.
SO
I am going to take a bottle of water into work so that I don’t get
thirsty.
I am going to avoid chocolate and make myself a sandwich for lunch.
I am going to do things at my own pace and take regular ’stretch’
breaks.
I am going to accept that none of (a) is my fault and there is
nothing I can do about it except apologise to the customers, let them
rant if they want to while holding phone away from my ear!!!!
I am going to visualise myself on a beach in Fuerteventura when
things get really rough:)
Report back this evening and let you all know how it went.
Namaste
Indi
—
Hello Indi
Just want to jump in and congratulate you on four months of being
smoke free.
Sounds like you are off on your holidays soon are you?
Hope to see you around bit more I am not so tied up at work now so
will make an effort to get back to cog quit now.
all the best
sue
Had to respond, Indi………just in case……
“the view from here” might help another newbie……..
Thanks so much for outlining your A,B,C. ………..
(I am having a hard time making up some for myself)
I was very close to a 2 pack a day smoker……….and I do not remember
needing any hints about when it was time to light up…………..(I did
it any time it was not prohibited) !!!
So I find it very difficult trying to come up with smoking “triggers”
I have tried to track the ABC process in reverse (one of you might be
able to help with this)……. I am a senior lady - and used (before I moved from Ont. to Alberta) to
take part in senior activities………….
We had a group of ladies who played Snooker (admittedly not well, but we
enjoyed it) Each Friday morning- I used to go to the Senior Club - and from 8:00
a.m. to 12:00 noon I did not think of a cigarette………..(rules said
no smoking)…….. (I may be stretching the truth to say I never thought of it - but if I
did I managed to put the thought behind me until the morning session was
over)
I used also to play golf - and again I could play a round without
smoking (as long as there was no one else in the foursome who
smoked!!!!!) Three years ago I bought a new car - and said car came without an
ashtray………..
(no one had told me this was an option)!!!!!
Can you imagine the thoughts of a 2 pack/day smoker confronted with this
fact????
LOL
But I managed to cope with this also (with the exception of one or two
occasions when I needed to travel a long distance)………….
When I look at the above I have no idea why I thought it might be
related to ABC’s
- at least not directly………..
But here I am (43 days into this quit!!!!!) and sometimes feeling as if
I am holding on for dear life!!!!!!!!!
I seem to have (for the most part) gotten over that automatic reach for
nicotine on arising…………
but
stress is something else!!!!!!
(and everything has seemed stressful since I quit!!) The current signals that lead me to the bowl of pretzels (or whatever)
are the phone ringing……..(perhaps I anticipate some problem at the
other end?) or any question or concern that seems to require an intellectual
response ! (instead of lighting up - I now just head for my bed and pull the covers
up!!) I am sure there MUST be a more ADULT way to handle it!!!!! Elle - I am at a loss to know how this may be helpful to you - except
perhaps that you may gain some confidence from knowing there are people
out here with worse difficulties than yours…… :)))))))
Thanks much again everyone for trying to be helpful………….
I don’t think I would have lasted this long without knowing there were
others out there fighting along with me………
Jean
Hi Elle -
thought I should clarify………….it was me and not Indi who was the
heavy smoker……. (I gather I did not do a very good job of
cleaning up the post)
I quit before I found this group……….just picked a day and said “NO
MORE!”
(only because my doctor waved a red flag)
Then I gritted my teeth and held on for a couple of weeks or so
……..bad scene!!!!!!
It would have been nice to have known about cognitive quitting - to be
prepared for the next stage……………and maybe have some coping
strategies in place……….
I have survived - so far - but it could have been easier -
Jean
(closing in on a 44 day quit) !
, Steve, for the input. I am stopping smoking because I
recently had a nasty bout with bladder cancer. I was told in no
uncertain terms that the basic cause is smoking. I really feel that
this is a “god shot”….demanding my full and serious attention! I
have resisted and thumbed my nose for years at anyone who suggested,
pleaded or lectured me about stopping…I had virtually no symptoms
of an addicted smoker, (that I would acknowledge), no cough, etc and
had fooled myself into thinking that I could smoke until I was 85 or
so before facing any REAL consequences! (I am pretty sure that that
was “denial 101″!!!) Now I am ready to make an adult decision
regarding smoking….. for the first time in my life…while I still
have one!
Your feedback regarding the journal is excellent…I will try it
today…and your analogy between smoking and food is also right
on….food is the other “monkey on my back”…
My partner suggested licorice because it mimics the smoking actions
but I think you are right. If I understand you correctly, a NEW
action is better…developing new attitudes and behaviors instead of
just replacing the old…am I getting it????? LOL!
I am really interested in how the Cognitive approach works…I need
to understand before I can trust and apply new ideas…so thanks
again for the introduction….keep it coming, ok?
Bonnie (redsilvr)
for the links, the emails and chat this past day or two while
I’ve been in a difficult place. Its reassuring to hear that these
out of whack’ emotions/moods are pretty commonplace in the early
months of quit - I don’t feel quite the freak I had been feeling. I’m
having a couple of things investigated, one being the thyroid meds
I’m taking, which could play a part in all this. If they need
adjusting that will hopefully improve things. If that doesn’t do it,
then I need maybe to learn a bit more patience as my system adjusts
to the physiological effects of quitting. I’ll touch base and let you
know how things progress, but wanted just to stop by and thank you
again.
best wishes
Anita
To Steve, and Pam, and Cat….thanks guys, from the bottom of my now
healthier heart. I couldn’t have done the first few months without
the three of you. I will always be grateful. For those of you
(probably all of you), who don’t know me, I was pretty dependent on
these guys for a long time. I was a whiner deluxe but they didn’t
seem to mind. Or at least had the good manners not to complain
about it. The first six months were rough, but then life took over
and through alot of trying times, instead of looking back at my
smoking days, I just didn’t seem to have the time to think about it
anymore. It was the biggest accomplishment of my life, but there
really are more important things than cigarettes. Funny, it took me
alot of years, and alot of knocks in the head to realize it. To the
newbies here….hang in there. It really does get better. Thank
you again Steve, for having the site available, and for the
individual support that I needed in the beginning, to Cat, for your
humor and understanding, and to Pam, for always being there when I
needed you. I will be eternally grateful to you all.
Love,
Marde
Cat - Thank you very much for that. It’s very encouraging. How nice
of you succeeders to stick around a bit to lend others a hand.
I emailed some ABC statements to Steve yesterday to post and look
over. I did them in Excel again, so can’t post them myself. Just
wanted to mention that I am actively working at this. So far, it
seems to be helping. I don’t feel deprived or that dreaded inner
conflict. I hope when my time comes to stop NRT I am a pro at this
behavioral part. I don’t forecast it to be a problem. I’m already
decreasing NRT usage, and it’s always the internal arguments that are
the worst part of a quit for me.
Do others carry your ABCs/foundation stmts. around with you on
paper? Or just read them daily to keep them fresh in your mind? Or
memorize them until it comes natural to do “on the fly”? I imagine
it’s personal, whatever works for each, but just curious what worked
for others.
February 12th, 2003 at 9:29 pm
….. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE AN ENTRY ON YOUR LIST !!!
I’m hearing people talk about ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reasons. Don’t judge
them, just list them. When you’re thinking about what to put on your
lists, just list everything that comes to mind. Any ‘reason’ to smoke can
be both good and bad. Almost any reason to quit can be useful or useless.
A list of emotions you experience is just that, a list of emotions. DON’T
ATTACH VALUE JUDGEMENTS by saying this one is good or positive and that is
negative.
Here is why it’s so important to make you lists nonjudgemental…. The
‘validity’ of a ‘reason’ or ‘emotion’ is ENTIRELY dependant on 1- your
perception and point of view at moment and 2- whether it’s your higher
brain or automatic/unconscious thoughts that are doing the perceiving.
For now, just make lists of:
1-Reasons to smoke, including when and where. (look at your yrs of smoking
mehavior and just list what you remember. there will be plenty)
2- Reasons to quit.
3- Emotions and conditions you have felt. (emotions i.e. anger, sorrow
and conditions i.e. cold, hot, hungry)
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 13th, 2003 at 9:19 am
Steve
When I made my list I made one for good points and one for bad
points, trying to compare the two and realising the bad far
outweighed the good. But obviously I have misunderstood as this is
not the right way. I will give the other way a go.
Thanks
Lynne
February 13th, 2003 at 11:49 pm
Hi Steve
I have been writing my lists the way you told me and it is better
than listing good and bad. I have realised that I probably smoke
because I have done it for so long and am finding it difficult to
break the pattern. At certain times of the day ie: with coffee I
automatically reach for a cigarette. I may have just had one, but
will still have another, so would it help to not drink so much
coffee? Is that the way it works - by changing you routine?
Lynne
February 16th, 2003 at 5:13 am
At 10:23 PM 11/8/01 -0000, you wrote:
……
Hi Lynne,
Nope, not really. Changing routines is almost always a component in
a quit. Drinking less would mean fewer instances where the ‘opportunity’ to
have one would present itself. Drinking none would be about as eliminate
the coffee instances. But the established connection tween coffee and
having one would remain. Why did you smoke a cig with a coffee? Don’t say
cuz you always did. What did it taste like? What did the coffee feel like?
What did you feel?
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 17th, 2003 at 2:48 pm
Hi Steve
If I have been busy and stop for a coffee,I will have a ciggie as
well. I would feel relaxed.
Lynne
February 18th, 2003 at 12:42 am
Yup. As soon as we’ve inhaled a couple of deep drags we can feel our
‘insides’ just unwind. That’s the feeling I’m looking for when I envision
‘relaxed’… that inner unwinding. There are lots of situations and
times when we want that ‘relaxed’ feeling.
Lynne, what happens when you’re busy? Do you find yourself going at an
accelerated pace? What does that feel like?
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 18th, 2003 at 7:48 pm
Hi Steve
If I am at home and busy doing housework I would not say I go at an
accelerated pace, I quite enjoy doing it, it gives me a good feeling
when everything is clean and tidy.
Lynne
February 1st, 2004 at 8:35 pm
for the congrats on my four months I tell you without this
group and this method I would have caved long ago.
Jean you mention how uncomfortable you are and that you might have
left it too late. Believe me I have thought that and thought - whats
the point at my age putting myself through all this trauma????
But honestly since I grasped the cog quit concept it really hasn’t
been a trauma. Yes its been hard at times (like yesterday) and in
the beginning - but once I grasped the concept that it wasn’t
nicotine or any of the other stuff in cigs that my body was demanding
but something else then it became a lot easier to deal with.
Now sometimes I still like the smell of cigs (freshly lit) and I have
a fleeting ‘missing moment’ but most of the time the smell is awful
and I am able to think - glad thats not me anymore.
Hang on in there Jean - keep on reading and trying out the abc’s that
others post if you can’t get around to doing your own. Warren
doesn’t mind if they aren’t original to you - I pinch Cats all the
time:)
Got to go and get ready for work now so got a quick abc for the day.
a) Today is going to be hectic - the phone will be ringing non stop -
due to staff shortages and bad management orders will be late and
customers will be complaining.
b) I can get uptight and cause myself a great deal of inner distress
which I will associate with wanting to smoke.
OR I can take some preventative action.
c) Think after yesterdays experience I will take some preventative
action.
SO
I am going to take a bottle of water into work so that I don’t get
thirsty.
I am going to avoid chocolate and make myself a sandwich for lunch.
I am going to do things at my own pace and take regular ’stretch’
breaks.
I am going to accept that none of (a) is my fault and there is
nothing I can do about it except apologise to the customers, let them
rant if they want to while holding phone away from my ear!!!!
I am going to visualise myself on a beach in Fuerteventura when
things get really rough:)
Report back this evening and let you all know how it went.
Namaste
Indi
February 4th, 2004 at 6:34 am
—
Hello Indi
Just want to jump in and congratulate you on four months of being
smoke free.
Sounds like you are off on your holidays soon are you?
Hope to see you around bit more I am not so tied up at work now so
will make an effort to get back to cog quit now.
all the best
sue
February 4th, 2004 at 9:24 pm
Had to respond, Indi………just in case……
I am a senior lady - and used (before I moved from Ont. to Alberta) to
Each Friday morning- I used to go to the Senior Club - and from 8:00
(I may be stretching the truth to say I never thought of it - but if I
Three years ago I bought a new car - and said car came without an
The current signals that lead me to the bowl of pretzels (or whatever)
or any question or concern that seems to require an intellectual
(instead of lighting up - I now just head for my bed and pull the covers
I am sure there MUST be a more ADULT way to handle it!!!!! 
Elle - I am at a loss to know how this may be helpful to you - except
“the view from here” might help another newbie……..
Thanks so much for outlining your A,B,C. ………..
(I am having a hard time making up some for myself)
I was very close to a 2 pack a day smoker……….and I do not remember
needing any hints about when it was time to light up…………..(I did
it any time it was not prohibited) !!!
So I find it very difficult trying to come up with smoking “triggers”
I have tried to track the ABC process in reverse (one of you might be
able to help with this)…….
take part in senior activities………….
We had a group of ladies who played Snooker (admittedly not well, but we
enjoyed it)
a.m. to 12:00 noon I did not think of a cigarette………..(rules said
no smoking)……..
did I managed to put the thought behind me until the morning session was
over)
I used also to play golf - and again I could play a round without
smoking (as long as there was no one else in the foursome who
smoked!!!!!)
ashtray………..
(no one had told me this was an option)!!!!!
Can you imagine the thoughts of a 2 pack/day smoker confronted with this
fact????
LOL
But I managed to cope with this also (with the exception of one or two
occasions when I needed to travel a long distance)………….
When I look at the above I have no idea why I thought it might be
related to ABC’s
- at least not directly………..
But here I am (43 days into this quit!!!!!) and sometimes feeling as if
I am holding on for dear life!!!!!!!!!
I seem to have (for the most part) gotten over that automatic reach for
nicotine on arising…………
but
stress is something else!!!!!!
(and everything has seemed stressful since I quit!!)
are the phone ringing……..(perhaps I anticipate some problem at the
other end?)
response !
up!!)
perhaps that you may gain some confidence from knowing there are people
out here with worse difficulties than yours…… :)))))))
Thanks much again everyone for trying to be helpful………….
I don’t think I would have lasted this long without knowing there were
others out there fighting along with me………
Jean
February 7th, 2004 at 7:23 am
Hi Elle -
(I gather I did not do a very good job of
thought I should clarify………….it was me and not Indi who was the
heavy smoker…….
cleaning up the post)
I quit before I found this group……….just picked a day and said “NO
MORE!”
(only because my doctor waved a red flag)
Then I gritted my teeth and held on for a couple of weeks or so
……..bad scene!!!!!!
It would have been nice to have known about cognitive quitting - to be
prepared for the next stage……………and maybe have some coping
strategies in place……….
I have survived - so far - but it could have been easier -
Jean
(closing in on a 44 day quit) !
September 2nd, 2004 at 9:16 am
, Steve, for the input. I am stopping smoking because I
recently had a nasty bout with bladder cancer. I was told in no
uncertain terms that the basic cause is smoking. I really feel that
this is a “god shot”….demanding my full and serious attention! I
have resisted and thumbed my nose for years at anyone who suggested,
pleaded or lectured me about stopping…I had virtually no symptoms
of an addicted smoker, (that I would acknowledge), no cough, etc and
had fooled myself into thinking that I could smoke until I was 85 or
so before facing any REAL consequences! (I am pretty sure that that
was “denial 101″!!!) Now I am ready to make an adult decision
regarding smoking….. for the first time in my life…while I still
have one!
Your feedback regarding the journal is excellent…I will try it
today…and your analogy between smoking and food is also right
on….food is the other “monkey on my back”…
My partner suggested licorice because it mimics the smoking actions
but I think you are right. If I understand you correctly, a NEW
action is better…developing new attitudes and behaviors instead of
just replacing the old…am I getting it????? LOL!
I am really interested in how the Cognitive approach works…I need
to understand before I can trust and apply new ideas…so thanks
again for the introduction….keep it coming, ok?
Bonnie (redsilvr)
March 14th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
for the links, the emails and chat this past day or two while
I’ve been in a difficult place. Its reassuring to hear that these
out of whack’ emotions/moods are pretty commonplace in the early
months of quit - I don’t feel quite the freak I had been feeling. I’m
having a couple of things investigated, one being the thyroid meds
I’m taking, which could play a part in all this. If they need
adjusting that will hopefully improve things. If that doesn’t do it,
then I need maybe to learn a bit more patience as my system adjusts
to the physiological effects of quitting. I’ll touch base and let you
know how things progress, but wanted just to stop by and thank you
again.
best wishes
Anita
May 6th, 2005 at 7:37 am
To Steve, and Pam, and Cat….thanks guys, from the bottom of my now
healthier heart. I couldn’t have done the first few months without
the three of you. I will always be grateful. For those of you
(probably all of you), who don’t know me, I was pretty dependent on
these guys for a long time. I was a whiner deluxe but they didn’t
seem to mind. Or at least had the good manners not to complain
about it. The first six months were rough, but then life took over
and through alot of trying times, instead of looking back at my
smoking days, I just didn’t seem to have the time to think about it
anymore. It was the biggest accomplishment of my life, but there
really are more important things than cigarettes. Funny, it took me
alot of years, and alot of knocks in the head to realize it. To the
newbies here….hang in there. It really does get better. Thank
you again Steve, for having the site available, and for the
individual support that I needed in the beginning, to Cat, for your
humor and understanding, and to Pam, for always being there when I
needed you. I will be eternally grateful to you all.
Love,
Marde
September 17th, 2005 at 7:53 am
Cat - Thank you very much for that. It’s very encouraging. How nice
of you succeeders to stick around a bit to lend others a hand.
I emailed some ABC statements to Steve yesterday to post and look
over. I did them in Excel again, so can’t post them myself. Just
wanted to mention that I am actively working at this. So far, it
seems to be helping. I don’t feel deprived or that dreaded inner
conflict. I hope when my time comes to stop NRT I am a pro at this
behavioral part. I don’t forecast it to be a problem. I’m already
decreasing NRT usage, and it’s always the internal arguments that are
the worst part of a quit for me.
Do others carry your ABCs/foundation stmts. around with you on
paper? Or just read them daily to keep them fresh in your mind? Or
memorize them until it comes natural to do “on the fly”? I imagine
it’s personal, whatever works for each, but just curious what worked
for others.
Thanks again and good day to everyone.