newbie
This is my first post. I have been lurking and reading for a few weeks.
I’ve been quit for a little over 7 weeks now. I have come to realize through
the postings that cigarettes are my worst enemy, not my best friend. I smoked
for the worst part of 37 years, not the best part of 37 years.
Was hospitalized in Jan. this year with heart problems. My attending gave me
two ways to look at life. With the years left I could look at it as oh well,
why make changes, or make changes and enjoy the rest of my life. And I quit for
a while, but the habit took over although not as much.
Then I had a heart attack in June. And I’m only 54 years old. So I quit again
and then the habit came back but not as much. I had to quit on my terms. No
matter what the doc said, I still had to do it my way.
Cigarettes are not my best friend, they are my worst enemy. And since I plan on
living to be 100, I quit. Fortunately I do a lot of quilting and hand sewing
stuff. So I can keep my hands busy. The urge is less and less now. And my dear
hubby quit over 20 years ago.
Pat B. turned me on to your list and I have passed it to several smoking
friends. Through reading your posts I have learned much more. And your ABC’s
are super. Never thought of making the lists, but am going to begin. Even
after several quit weeks, I think about it still. But then I think how good I
feel and how much healthier I am and my heart is really happy.
That’s my little story. Thanks to all of you for being out there for me.
Ann
February 14th, 2003 at 2:55 pm
you’re dealing with your quit, and starting to use the tools of
cognitive quitting which Steve will help you with. Tell us more about
how things are progressing, and how we can help.
Pam
weeks.
February 14th, 2003 at 11:16 pm
Hi Anne
Welcome to the group - its really nice to meet you - and congratulations on
your quit of over 7 weeks that is wonderful.
I know what you mean about still wanting one - thats just the way I was
during my last 2 quits and eventually I succumbed. Why - because I didn’t
have any alternative responses to the urges.
So this time with the help of Steve and more experienced members of cog quit
I am learning to put the responses into place and hopefully they will soon
become automatic responses and that way the discomfort that used to lead me
to smoke will be responded to in a much more appropriate way.
Anyway nice to meet you - its a great group - look forward to getting to know
you better
Namaste
Indi
February 15th, 2003 at 6:31 am
In a message dated 09/11/01 02:13:21 GMT Standard Time, eggsrus@…
writes:
Ann
That was exactly the same for me - its strange the things we use to continue
our junkie thinking.
You sound sooooo positive - glad to hear you are making use of the sewing
room I can picture it as a haven of tranquility.
Can’t decide if you are a brit or a yank - please enlighten me, not that it
makes any difference I’m just curious (or nosy).
Indi
February 15th, 2003 at 1:46 pm
In a message dated 09/11/01 16:19:13 GMT Standard Time, eggsrus@…
writes:
Nice one Ann - hope all is well today - I am having a shitttttttt day - I
know Steve, I know what I should be doing but some times its just harder than
others and for some reason it is hard today and I can’t get it out of my head.
I know I am keeping it in my head (don’t ask me why) and I know its not
really that I want to smoke - but it sure like hell feels as if I do.
I was doing ok today until I finished work and went into town - as soon as I
got into town I had the urge!!!! - so did my checking and I had done it again
let myself get hungry.
So went into coffee shop and my brain was in automatic pilot cos it was a
coffee shop that I always used to go in to have a cig as you can sit outside
in the mall and smoke. Quite nice really cos you can people watch at the
same time!!!!
Every time I have been to this coffee shop it has always been for a
cappucino, cream and jam scone and then a cig.
So what did I do - instead of ordering some sensible food (cos hadn’t had
lunch) I ordered cappucino, cream and jam scone - didn’t even give it a
second thought. The only thing I did different was sit inside the coffeee
shop cos now I am a non smoker - right!
So had my coffee and scone then went off to do my shopping - didn’t really
need anything it was more a case of shopping to be inspired to buy my
stepdaughter a birthday present.
After about half an hour the urge came back with a vengence and it just won’t
go away - I’ve talked to myself until I am blue in the face, had a packet of
sweets - don’t know why other than they are next best thing (and I know they
aren’t cos sugar only primes me to want to smoke).
I have worked out that I am tired, very tired, really not looking forward to
my weekend at all and am just trying to work myself up to writing out some
abc’s.
So far the only thing that has stopped me smoking is my foundation statement
that I love being a non-smoker and nothing can be so bad that I have the need
to smoke.
But it is still shittttttttttttttttttt. So I have ranted and raved and don’t
feel any better - well I think I feel a little better so hope some of you are
online later.
I suppose the other thing that has stopped me is having this group and the
ability to be able to rant and rave - even if no one reads it at least it
makes me feel a whole lot better.
Catch u all later
Indi
February 15th, 2003 at 7:55 pm
Indi - sorry you’ve had a rough day of it, but you’re doing your
stuff, working out that tiredness and hunger are the sensations
causing your smoking urges - and the sugar not helping. Cat’s given
great advice already. Don’t forget that toolbox, and USE those tools
as you know you can to great effect. Hope you’ve had a good meal
tonight, and a good early night and rest will help too.
I’ll look out for you on ICQ tonight (altho it keeps disconnecting),
and head for Spinchat later - 9pm?
catch you later I hope,
Pam
of my head.
February 16th, 2003 at 12:27 pm
Ann,
please make yourself at home.
Welcome to the group. I’m glad there’s material here that’s helping you
with your quit. Congrats on your 7+ wks. Thinking about the lists and
fleshing them out a bit is a great little exercise in self awareness.
I’m glad you came out of lurk mode
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 17th, 2003 at 2:00 am
Hi Steve and All
Thanks for the support last night - just thought I’d let you all have this up
to date revelation!!!!!
I had a horrid nights sleep, it took me ages to get off and I couldn’t get my
brain to quieten down at all. It wasn’t thinking about smoking it was
actually thinking about drinking!
So that just goes to show that my ‘feelings’ had somehow created enormous
‘automatic’ discomforts and answers to discomforts in my body.
Not really sure if I am explaining this properly but I’ll carry on and if it
doesn’t make sense you can just hit the delete button.
Most of you know I have, in the past, had a problem with alcohol. Now I have
been sober for over 5 years and yes there are still things which can
‘trigger’ off my ‘oh I need a drink’ thinking.
But for a long time there has only been 2 triggers and I use a lot of cog
quit stuff to overcome these thoughts (didn’t know when I started that it was
cog quit).
Not being able to sleep - used to be one of my triggers but a trigger that
has been gone for ages - yet last night it was coming through loud and clear.
I spent ages trying to work out what the hell was really going on with my
feelings - surely it couldn’t all be about wanting a smoke. I knew it wasn’t
really a drink I wanted but I knew if I had a drink I would want to smoke
even more.
So there it all was going around like a viscious circle in my head. My hubby
had to go to the airport to pick up one of the grandkids for this party at
1am so he didn’t get to bed until about 3am by which time I was still
awake!!!!
I had thought about getting back up and logging on again but I was physically
so tired that I couldn’t.
Anyway had some really awful dreams, kept waking up every hour when I
eventually got to sleep and then got up about 6am. While I was making my
morning coffee it came to me - just from out of nowhere.
The feelings really aren’t anything to do with me wanting to smoke or even
afraid in case I do smoke - they are all to do with being with this group of
people who I can tolerate in small doses on a one to one basis.
But in a group for a long period of time I CAN’T STAND THEM!!!!!!!!!!
And on previous occasions I would have just sat quietly smoking and using the
fact that I was smoking to suppress the fact that I really cannot tolerate
this bunch of people for longer than about 30 mins (and that is being really
generous).
They are arrogant, loud, think the world revolves around them and their
money, have so many emotional problems that they use me as an unpaid social
worker/counsellor and then carry on doing what they have always done, not
listening one word to what I have said and then wonder why they don’t get
different results.
I usually end up falling for it everytime - use up all my energy trying to
solve their problems when I know full well I am wasting my time.
Well this time ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Steve - I told hubby how stressful it was going to be for me - he thought I
was laying a guilt trip on him!!!!!! Told me I didn’t have to go if I felt
so stressed by it that he would understand. Tried to explain where I was
coming from but he couldn’t/wouldn’t understand but I did manage to get
through to him that if I disappeared then it was OK and he wasn’t to worry
about me.
So I’ve got my toolbox, filled with my tools and ready for anything - I might
not like all the drinking and smoking - am not responsible for any rows,
arguments that arise, can’t do anything to prevent what will happen from
happening. But I can enjoy myself and look after me which is what I intend
to do.
At the very least the hotel is in a beautiful spot on the edge of Lake
Windermere, the food is supposed to be very good, hubby and I won’t have
hangovers tomorrow so if weather is good we can get some walking in and its
free apart from drinks.
So off for a good weekend now - catch up with you all when I return - have a
good weekend all and keep smober cos I will.
Namaste
Indi
February 17th, 2003 at 8:10 am
Wow Indi - what great self awareness and skills you possess !! I
loved reading your post, and how you worked out exactly what it was
about. Somehow I see this as the start of a great weekend and finding
the ‘real Indi. Well done - and we can’t wait to hear all about it.
take care
Pam
PS I’ve got some in-laws from hell who’d get on well with that lot
May 13th, 2004 at 12:50 am
Hi all,
I am new, though have been preparing for this the past 4 months. I am
at 3D,17H,13M and pulling my hair out. I have been studying the abc’s
and am still working on them as my response to EVERYTHING is to
smoke. I am especially stressed now because it is Friday and my
customary routine is cocktails and cigs to relax and recover from the
week. Weekdays are much easier for me and weekend days are even
manageable. It is the dreaded Friday night that is looming over me.
Any suggestions? Oh, and going out is not an option, I’m a single mom
almost always at home on the weekends.
Chelle
May 13th, 2004 at 11:03 am
Hey newbie! I just read your email. I’m going on week 5 so I can remember how
you feel. Didn’t use patch but was on Zyban. If I remember correctly the
first 3-4 days were worse with it getting better after that. Cat (my sister)
can help you with foundation statement and abc’s. she helped me and I’m still
here. I think I’m past “hanging in there” and on my way to just dealing with
it…I’m sure you will be soon too…bobbie
May 13th, 2004 at 3:20 pm
Hi Chel - welcome to the group. Sorry I couldn’t jump in before
now - I’m the other side of the `pond’ in England, 5 hours ahead of
EST, so I was fast asleep when you were posting for help and advice.
You said
Yep - most of smoked as a response to just about everything that
happened during the course of the day, every event in our lives.
Some of those cigs were about topping up a lowered nic level. But
many were connected to a range of sensations/emotions - our
automatic responses to everything from talking on the phone,
watching tv, an argument or anger, job stresses. Through cognitive
quitting I learned that we based those responses on how we were
feeling physically at the time: emotions (eg happy, sad) and
conditions (eg cold, hungry) can be defined in terms of a set of
physical sensations eg rapid shallow breathing, tensed muscles in
the neck and shoulders, ‘butterflies in the stomach’. Cognitive
quitting teaches us how to put new, valid and more appropriate
responses in place, instead of automatically reaching for a
cigarette. So, for example, if we feel physically tense we can try
some stretching exercises, or if our breathing becomes shallow we
can try some deep breathing exercises.
to.
Cat mentioned writing a foundation statement in her post.
Foundation statements are a bit different from a list of reasons not
to smoke: I had lots of reasons not to smoke eg the cost, wanting
to be healthier, hating the stale smell - but at the end of the day
when a crave hit, these reasons just went through the window.
Foundation statements however are your own personal truths, a set of
statements that are always true regardless of what emotions we may
be feeling at the moment. Steve has written a post which you’ll
find in the Files section - here’s part of it :-
” The reason I believe ‘foundation statements’ are important is
because most of us respond to life based on our emotional state at
the moment. Our initial ‘choice of response’ is based on what we’re
feeling rather than what we know to be rock bottom, dispassionate
truth. Once that choice based on ‘feeling’ is ‘on the table’, our
brain must work extra hard to try to
refute that first choice. This is exactly where all the internal
arguing takes place. Using our foundation statements, we have a tool
that focuses our thinking on what we know with certainty is true,
honest, accurate, and is actually, when all is said and done, really
what we want. ”
My understanding is that it can take several days for the body to
adjust to lowered nicotine levels, so you’re going to be
experiencing some feelings of withdrawal. Its not just physical
withdrawals that you’re dealing with either - you’re also dealing
with all the behavioural aspects of your smoking ‘habit’ too. I
agree with Bobbie though when she said to you
Cognitive quitting gives us effective tools to work through our
quits. My previous attempts to quit were about `hanging in there’,
and each of those attempts ended in failure because I wasn’t doing
anything differently. I’ve now been quit for 14 months and can’t
envisage smoking ever again, I’m glad to be able to say.
Just starting off by developing an awareness of what it is your body
really needs and treating those needs appropriately is a great
first step. Make some lists of those emotions and conditions - see
how many you can come up with.
Great to have you with us,
Bye for now
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “chelle_68″ <michelle2_1997@y…
June 16th, 2004 at 6:24 pm
Hiya Folks,
Well I actually joined the group a couple of weeks ago and am finally
getting around to making a post to introduce myself. I started
smoking at the early age of 12. At the time it was the thing to do in
my neighborhood. Then it became a constant way of pissing off my
parents, something I always had a knack for. Somewhere along the line
without realizing it, I became addicted. In the past 14 years I have
had three failed attempts at quitting. The closest I came to being
successful was last year when I really had my mind made up that I
didn’t want to be a smoker any more. These feelings mingled with the
fact that my grandmother died the year prior from emphysema
encouraged my eagerness to be a non-smoker. And I did really well
with it for a bit until I got cocky and managed to convince myself
that I could be just a social smoker. Every close friend I had at the
time smoked. Obviously, smoking only on occasion didn’t work for me.
Within two weeks I was smoking the same amount I had before and
within three weeks, my smoking actually increased from the amount I
had smoked when I quit. Now here I am nearly ten months later trying
to tackle this all over again. This time I got one of my friends to
agree to quit with me. For some reason this time it’s hitting me a
lot harder than it did last year. My friend and I first quit 10 days
ago. On day four, pms got the best of me and I went out and bought a
pack. A terrible feeling of failure and shame accompanied that first
cig. Not only because I was disappointing myself but also because I
felt as if I had let my friend down who was working so hard at this
with me. As I was indulging in my second cig only three hours later
on the verge of tears, I decided I wasn’t going to just give up
that
easy. I immediately went inside and cut up the remainder of the
pack. Now here I am six days later struggling to remain smoke free.
Last night a friend came over with a few beers and her smokes needing
to vent. She smokes the same thing that I use to. My hands got clammy
and I think I was actually drooling watching her light up cig after
cig. The smell of the smoke was intoxicating. I wanted to smoke so
bad, but on the other hand I knew that one smoke would send me back
to square one again. Instead of asking her for a cig like every fiber
of my being was telling me to, I beat on my punching bag and chomped
on my gum while she did her venting. I guess despite all the little
voices inside struggling to make excuses as to why it would be okay
to have a smoke with her, there was an even more powerful voice
telling me the reason not to have a smoke with her; because I am no
longer a smoker. I can’t believe I made it through the night but I
did. The second hand smoke must have penetrated my lungs or something
though because I woke up this morning craving a cig more than I was
on day one. I’m tending to it with gum and water as I have been for
the past week and a half but as you all know, it’s hard. For now I’m
dealing one minute at a time.
Blessings,
Millisa
June 17th, 2004 at 1:39 am
Hi Millisa - welcome to the group and for telling us how things are
going for you.
I think many of us tried to quit numerous times over the years: in
my case it was many failed attempts. I tried all the various
nicotine replacements, acupuncture, hypnosis - you name it! I used
to hang on and hang in there, but wasn’t doing anything
differently. I just thought that after a period of time I’d be over
it (whatever ‘it’ was) and that’d be it - bingo, nonsmoker.
When I found cognitive quitting I started learning much more about
why I was smoking, and how to address that behaviour. I found out
what those cravings were really about, and how to deal with them.
That involved listening to what it was my body really wanted when my
little voice was telling me that only a cig would help. I quit
almost 15 months ago, and this quit has been totally different. I
feel relaxed and comfortable with it, enjoy my nonsmoking lifestyle,
and don’t respond to life’s joys/sorrows/whatever by thinking only a
cig will help/make it better or more enjoyable.
Have you read over at Steve’s site www.cognitivequitting.com?
You’ll be able to read all about the cognitive approach to quitting
over there and learn more about your smoking habit. The past posts
are a mine of information - check in the files section on the groups
page for links to past posts. Also, have a read of a couple of
Steve’s recent posts to Glen and Debra (# 3146 and 3147) which will
get you thinking more about the whole process.
Look forward to getting to know you,
bye for now
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “forever_young9″
June 27th, 2004 at 10:36 pm
Hi Millissa - as you can see, I’m going back through the last couple
of weeks posts, wondering how ppl are getting along. Was it around
May 16 that you quit? How’s things? How can we help? Let us know,
and holler if we can help.
all the best
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “forever_young9″
July 24th, 2004 at 7:43 pm
Hi Pam,
I celebrated 30 days yesterday with a friend that quit with me at the
same time. We both took the day off from work and went to a movie.
It’s great sitting through a movie not worring about that ciggy
calling my name. The last month being smoke free has been difficult
but thanks to forums like this and friends like the one who quit with
me, I’m surviving and growing stronger everyday.
Blessings,
Millisa
July 25th, 2004 at 10:13 am
Millisa - that’s great news :)) Well done to you.
Keep in touch and let us know how things progress,
bye for now
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “forever_young9″
August 16th, 2004 at 4:14 am
Hi Phil,
There’s some element in the quit that ’soldiering on through’ just
doesn’t address. Sounds like you’re aware that there’s something else
involved and that you’re looking for a handle.
Were they so powerful? Or were they just the most effective response?
Something like having a ‘miracle aspirin’. This aspirin at first would
relieve one set of discomforts resulting from a specific ‘ailment’ with
remarkable speed and effectiveness. Pretty soon we were using it to relieve
those particular discomforts regardless of the ailment that produced them.
What did lighting up relieve? Phil, I haven’t gotten through all the
material on that whyquit.com page, but it looked as though there’s a good
deal of info there regarding the physical symptoms that were our cues to
smoke. Just getting through the day means encountering many of those old
cues like fatigue (physical and mental) and anxiety.
I think the problem is that it was not Mr RightBrain who was in charge of
effective responses on the level where our smoking happened, it was Warren
who ran the show. Only getting in touch with Warren and getting him
retrained to opt for different effective responses will remove the sense of
‘missing something’. Or maybe waiting a really really long time will do
it, but I doubt it.
check Weighing Widgets and www.cognitivequitting.com/additions for
Warren Whispers
Congrats on your 35 days quit. Good to have you with us,
Steve
August 16th, 2004 at 11:29 am
“Were cigs so powerful? Or were they just the most effective response?”
Both I guess
August 29th, 2004 at 12:44 am
Hi All.
I have been following your messages for the past week. After 28 years of
smoking, 1 pack a day, I found out that I have the beginnings of Macular
Degeneration, which is a disease that takes away your center vision leaving
only peripheral. My doctor said that if I stop smoking now, I can slow down
the speed of this disease 50%. So, I set a stop date, started on Zyban & on
July 1 I quit.
Well, I stopped the Zyban because it was making me an emotional wreck & tried
Nicotrol Inhaler. That is the worst tasting stuff there is-finally broke
down & bought a pack (different brand) & have had a few but never have
finished any of them.
I am finding my worst times after work, when I get into the car (where I had
normally had my 1st smoke after not smoking the whole day) & in the evenings
when I am relaxing with my family or playing on the computer. How can I get
past these trigger points?
Any advise will be greatly appreciated.
Ellen
August 30th, 2004 at 9:35 am
Hello Group,
I found this group via a post on About.com’s forum. My stop date was July
4, 2002. So a little over a week smoke free but not nicotine free. My
first week was mortal hell no matter what I did. Today I am more “sane” but
brain fog has not cleared. Each day gets a little better. I have the 2 mg.
gum down to 1 or 2 pieces a day.
Not perfect but I am getting there.
My reason/s for quitting is the fact I have limited my life and feelings by
smoking. I think you guys call it a foundation statement.
The other ways of quitting did not “click” with me, this does. I know this
is an addiction so if the “under laying” issues where not addressed it was
never going to “take” long term. I think those that can ” just put them
down and walk away” is great, but I knew better.
I am reading the files, archives, and working my ABCs.
Karen N.
Memphis, TN
oboegirl@…
August 30th, 2004 at 4:09 pm
Welcome to the group Karen. Read all you can. Ask anything and everything.
Steve
Congrats on your week+
August 30th, 2004 at 11:24 pm
Hi Ellen,
You’ve got quite an association going with the ‘car/after work’ thing. The
end of the work day, you’re ‘free’… a chance to shoot the nic level sky
high and feel that ‘relief’. I think it’s normal to want to feel that good
and to look forward to it. Or maybe that’s just my own bias. But don’t we
gravitate toward that which feels good?
Here’s a quick ABC to try…
A- getting in the car, heading home
B (sample dialog)- “I’m going to be getting into the car to head home. I
used to smoke a cig because it was my end of the work day and a chance to
top up a depleted nic level. Now I ‘need’ a cigarette only if I have a
fluctuating nic level. If I do, I’ll treat it with the detox tools i.e.
juice, healthy snacks. If there’s no longer a nic level, then I don’t need
to top up anything. As far as the end of the work day, that’s great but
inhaling a cigarette is a rather bizarre way to celebrate anything. I know
that I have a long standing association between finishing work, getting in
the car, and lighting up however, in this instance I can choose to reward
myself in any of several nonsmoking ways. (Stop at a flower shop on the way
home, stop at a scenic spot just to unwind for a bit, take a different
route home … ) It will take some time to replace the old habit with a
new one of nonsmoking options, but one ride home at a time is the way to
get it done.”
C- Based on what you’ve said to yourself in that ‘B’, what choice would you
make?
Ellen, you might want to reword ‘B’ to reflect you’re preferences. When the
event happens and you remember this ABC, please observe your thinking
through the event. Notice any changes in perspective that seem to put you
more in control. Pay particular attention to the relative importance of
that ‘after work’ cig now compared to your other nonsmoking options.
Please let me know how it works out. If you have questions, please don’t
hesitate to ask.
Steve
August 31st, 2004 at 3:29 am
Thanks Steve.
I am willing to work on this. I guess old habits are hard to break.
I’ll let you know how it works out.
Ellen
September 1st, 2004 at 7:34 pm
Cat,
Thanks for posting the “what if” scenarios. I really needed that as today I
have a 4 hour drive in pouring down rain. I can feel the tension building
as I type. This is a rescue doggie transport run, not something you can
cancel due to weather. I have tapes to listen to, juice to drink, and fruit
to eat. I will make it but I know this is going to be a test.
Karen N.
Memphis, TN
oboegirl@…
Simply Schnauzer Net
www.simplyschnauzer.net
September 2nd, 2004 at 1:28 pm
Hello All.
Well, I am not sure if today is day 14 or not. Over the last 14 days, I have
had 5 partial cig’s. All controlled & on purpose. None enjoyed. I found
out for myself that having no smokes in the house was causing more stress
than having an isolated pack somewhere. Then it became my choice not to
touch them. I don’t know if I am deluding myself or what. When I did light
up tonight, I took 3 puffs & put it out. It was terrible. I hated the way
my mouth & lips tasted afterwards.
Steve, I even know why I did it. I was upset with my husband over something &
instead of dealing with him, I lit up. That is what has worked for over 22
years. So, both of us will be learning new things.
It was funny yesterday when I was at a family get-together, I did fine.
Didn’t like the smell of the few cig’s that were lit. I have more problems
when I am alone. That is when the habit or pattern kicks in.
Well, I am to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day!
September 2nd, 2004 at 8:43 pm
Question about the quit side effects-
Has anyone experienced any lung/chest discomfort during the quit? Almost
like you can’t get enough air in your lungs? Like a pressure? Is this
normal & if so, how long does it last? If it’s not normal, let me know so I
can call my Doctor.
This is not a pain- this is more like if you ever had pneumonia & can’t get a
deep breath in.
Thanks,
Ellen
September 4th, 2004 at 3:26 am
Ellen, yes I’ve been experiencing shortness of breath occasionally. I use an
I have Two weeks, two days, 15 hours, 18 minutes and 17
inhaler like albuteral on those occasions and it helps some. Congratulations
on your quit!
seconds. 332 cigarettes not smoked, saving $69.88. Life saved: 1 day, 3
hours, 40 minutes.
Liz
September 4th, 2004 at 12:08 pm
All sorts of respritory sensations can be part of the initial quit. Still,
check with your Dr. Can’t hurt and better to be safe.
June 9th, 2005 at 7:15 am
Hi all! Just found the Cognitive Quitting site and it makes a lot of
sense. I have been a non-smoker since 29th December, so that makes it
10 days so far. What I’m finding hardest is the lack of support
structure- noone I work with smokes or has smoked, and the same for
my private life, so there’s no-one to go through it with, or who has
done it already (lucky bunch, aren’t they?)
Anyway, it’s great to read the posts here and find others who are
going through the same things right now….
Good luck everyone!
Nikki
June 10th, 2005 at 4:39 am
List 1: Reasons to smoke
· Waking up in the morning
· Boredom at work
· Getting out of the car
· Before getting into the car (I don’t smkoe in my car…)
· Coming out of shops (anywhere moving to a location where you
can smoke after a period of forced abstinence)
· Need for a break from the screen at work
· Before bed
· After meals
· Stressful situation (meetings, arguments…)
· Social situations- pub, coffee with friends
· After meetings
· *Addiction*
List 2: Emotions and Conditions
· Bored
· Angry
· Happy
· Sad
· Depressed
· Anxious
· Confused
· Tired
· Stressed
List 3: Physical Manifestation of emotions
· Bored - slowness in body and mind, chest feels
heavy and dull, slow heavy breathing, whole body seems to go slowly
· Angry - head feels `black’ and foggy, sometimes
shaky hands, muscles feel tight and strained
· Happy - lightness in whole body, muscles feel
alive, head feels clear
· Sad - heavy in head, body feels still
· Depressed - deflated, deep breathing, sighing, chest
and body feels heavy and slow, just want to sit alone, curl up into a
ball
· Anxious - panic, faster heart rate, quick, inconsistent
thoughts, tightness in chest, faster breathing
· Confused - tense back and shoulder muscles, dullness
in head
· Tired - sometimes headache, short temper, tiredness
behind the eyes, slow thinking and reactions
· Stressed - tightening of stomach, back and shoulder
muscles, headache, sometimes teary, short temper
Am on on the right track with this or missing the mark completely?
/Nikki
July 5th, 2005 at 9:23 pm
Hi I’ve got just a few questions,
Does anyone ever use the chatroom?
Am i supposed to to an abc for every craving?
Does this system work?
Can I hook up with someone to help stay quit.
These and many more questions to come.
Robhaw99
July 25th, 2005 at 3:02 pm
Hi–My name is Melody (aka: Mely) and I am 34 yrs old. I have 4 kids
(17, 15, 12 & 7 months) I am quitting for me and them. I have been
married to the same wonderful guy for 14 yrs now. He quit smoking
Sunday and seems to be having an easy time of it. I quit yesterday
with the help of the *patch* and am ready to DIE!!!!!! I want a smoke
in the worst way. How does HE get so lucky to have an *easy* time of
it and I am having the roughest time ever!? lol Anyway…I noticed I
crave less when I send email so if y’all don’t mind…
lol
Have a wonderful smoke free day!
Here’s to our health and that of our loved ones…
Mely
October 17th, 2005 at 5:30 am
Hi,
I have been lurking about and reading lots. Ive tried to quit lots of
times and about 6 wks ago I started smoking again (after being quit
for 6 wks). I decided when I started smoking again I was going
to “find a way to learn to deal with the feelings, so that when I
quit next time, Ill have the tools I need to help me cope with life
in a healthier way.” Then about a week later someone
posted a link to Steve’s Cogquit site! (On FlyingFreeSupport). Wow I
couldn’t believe it, just the aproach I was looking for.
Anyway, here are my Foundation Statements:
“During a moment of personal calm, I rationally determined that…
1. Do I want to be a smoker?
NO, I DO NOT want to be a smoker! I don’t want to smell like a full
ashtray, Im sick (literally) from it! I hate the way smoking makes me
stink! I hate the way smoking sucks out my energy. My health has gone
down hill since I started smoking again. I used to go for long runs
of up to about 2 hours long. Now Im flat out going for 30 minutes. Im
wheezing again, my throat is perpetually sore, I worry about throat
cancer and lung cancer. Ive got many reasons to quit. The bottom line
is…
I DO NOT WANT TO BE A SMOKER!
2. Having stated that I dont want to be a smoker, can I think of any
exceptions?
NO! There are no exceptions! I dont enjoy it. I have thought long and
hard about this, and I no longer even enjoy smoking. I can find NO
sensible or viable reason to continue to smoke, NO EXCEPTIONS! I have
decided that I can, will, and want to find healthier
responses/options to deal with life and how I feel. There is simply
NO situation where having a smoke will “make it better”. How can
filling my body with crap “make anything better”?
3. Am I prepared to stay aware of these personal truths and stand by
them regardless of how rough I may feel at any point in the future?
Yes, After many failed attempts to quit, I am prepared to stand by my
personal truths. I will re-read my Foundation Statements and choose a
healthier response. I’m prepared to trust completely that no matter
how uncomfortable, cranky, sad, weepy, angry, hysterical, confused,
etc I may be (or become) these foundation statements ARE ALWAYS true
and I will always help “Warren” find a NONsmoking response to
whatever I am feeling.
4. I wll conscientiously address and deal with any health issues
physical or emotional that may arise. I WILL consult with my GP (dr)
sooner rather than later, if I feel I am “falling into the pits of
despair” and GET HELP.
5. In order to retrain “Warren”, I will do the work. Reading and
thinking alone will not make permanent changes to my patterns of
behaviour.
I know it wont be easy, but if Im persistent and patient with Warren
and keep reminding Warren that we dont smoke anymore because its
dangerous, and ask “what do I REALLY want?”
My quit day is tomorrow (6th May, 2003 - no back doors here!) and for
the first time ever I am actually looking forward to quit day! I feel
much more confident this time around. By continuing to “do the work”
and with the wonderful support Ive seen others give/receive here, I
know I can succeed.
Best Wishes,
Jennie
October 25th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
Hi,
After 30 years of smoking and several attempts to quit, I decided 16,
almost 17 days ago, to surrender!!!!!! I am an addict, no ifs, and
or butts (no pun intended) about it. I am using the “patch” and have
been up and down and sometimes all around!!!!!! I am trying to learn
new ways of coping and a completely different lifestyle. I knew on
some level how dictated my life had been by smoking but nothing
prepared me for this!!!!!!! Any suggestions, etc. would be greatly
appreciated!!!!!
Thanks so much for letting me ramble. I know that by myself I cann’t
do this but with the help and support of others, I can!!!!!!
Peace to all,
Patti
May 8th, 2006 at 6:02 am
Hi, I’m new. I’ve been at Quitnet.com for a while and I’m 11 Days
smoke-free. I had some triggers but I dealt with them and, in my
little world, things were getting kind of stable.
Then I got side-swiped by going to the hospital. But I didn’t smoke.
First of all, I’m agoraphobic, so it was really tough to go at all.
Then, this hospital has bad memories for me. Then the doctor didn’t
show up. Then I went back home on the bus, with loud teenagers and
various weirdos, who probably weren’t as bad as I thought.
The thing is, I had the strongest triggers the whole time, starting
when I walked into the hospital. They were like waves on an ocean
that keep wiping you out while you stagger on. These waves of
triggers went on all night - and this morning I woke up believing I
was smoking in bed (I wasn’t). I was actually putting my hand to my
mouth and then holding it away while I puffed out air.
And still the cravings are there. I’ve been smoking a pen. All this,
after everything was so quietly settled, with triggers that weren’t
bigger than I am.
I figured out some of it.
First, for every rotten moment in that hospital, I had the habit of
rewarding myself with the luxury of a cigarette. As a matter of
fact, I could leave at any moment, saying “Be right back, cigarette
break.” But now there was nothing to offer myself, no temporary
escape. I tried the coffee shop but all they had was 17 varieties of
stale oatmeal cookies.
Second, when I smoked, I would never have remained in the shelter
with those loud kids. I’d have walked around in the rain smoking. So
the cig gave me distance from others, as well as declaring me to
be “off limits” as smokers are these days. So, smokes gave me some
much needed space.
Remedies (suggestions welcome!) -
First - for escape, get a small bottle of essential oil, put some on
a kleenex, and sniff that instead of smoking. The escape is still
there, the deep breathing, and finding a place alone.
Second - just because I’m a non-smoker doesn’t mean I automatically
want to sit with a lot of other non-smokers. Maybe the quiet in the
rain was as important as the cigarette. So - steer clear of crowds
for the time being. And get a plastic cigarette so I can be an
outcast again if I need to be alone, like when I’m coming home from
the hospital.
Does that make sense? Comments, suggestions, anybody?
Thank you,
Chris
July 13th, 2006 at 12:52 am
Hi, I’m new to this group. I’ve tried to quit smoking countless
times, and I’m trying once again. Any advice will be helpful!
-Donna
July 16th, 2006 at 1:15 am
Hi Heather,
I’d like to hear your reasons.
Steve
July 26th, 2006 at 12:27 am
Hi Heather,
Part of my ‘job description’ here is to try to point out pit falls so
that a quitter can work/step around them. The major draw back to ‘reasons
to quit’ is that while they’re good motivators to begin a quit, too often
they’re ineffective ‘reasons to stay quit’. I’d like to use a few of yours
to point out why….
There’s a good chance that there will be health improvements from
quitting. However, there are no guarantees and it’s not uncommon for
unexpected health issues to crop up. If something develops i.e. thyroid
problems, will the disappointment be a reason to go back to smoking?
These will probably clear up within a few weeks or months after you
quit. However, once they do will ‘just one’ be an option in a tense or
crisis situation? We all know that ‘just one’ is the first step back to
‘just a pack a day’.
No urges to smoke is certainly a place we all want to be. But without
addressing our smoking behavior and consciously creating change, change
rarely happens which means that for the vast majority of those who manage
to hang on, urges from time to time will be a part of ‘life without
cigarettes’.
The filth from smoking will certainly be gone. What’s to prevent
having ‘just one’ outside? Smoking masks gum disease. I’ve known a few who
quit only to discover they needed periodontal work. Again, how might this
sort of disappointment affect staying quit?
ok, I’ve no idea what this is. Maybe a female thing?
According to the CDC in Atlanta, about 75% of smokers want to quit. We’re
tired of being controlled by cigarettes, by smoking. We want our lives
back. We all start out with reasons to quit or reasons why we don’t want
to be smokers anymore. Personally I’ve found that a list of reasons why we
smoked and how to respond to those in effective nonsmoking ways is often
far more useful as a tool to stay quit.
Good luck,
Steve
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:36 am
Hello everyone, I have decided to quit smokeing I have been smoke
free for only 28 hrs.. I started smokeing at 13 and im now 35..
December 5th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Hi everyone! My name is Jennifer. Saturday is my quit date and I
wanted to find some kind of online support group. I found the
cognitive quit smoking page, read through it all, and I really liked
what it had to say. I think it’s so important to think about the
psychological issues that go along with quitting, not just the
physical chemical withdrawl. I’ve been smoking for 7 or 8 years now
and I’m ready to quit. I tried to quit once last year. Only made it
through day 3, of course when my cravings were the worst and didn’t
make it. I feel more confidant about this time though. I have most of
my patches left over from last time, so I guess I’ll try those again.
And I’m going to try some Wellbutrin/Zyban this time…maybe that
will
help with my moods. (Last time, my boyfriend said he’d rather me
smoke
then act the way I was…guess I was a little cranky!! LOL!) Anyway,
thanks for allowing me to join your group. You’ve all been through
this before, so I’m looking forward to your support and advice. Nice
to meet all of you.
March 17th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Hi everyone, I’m a newbie to the group. My name id Glo and I live in
Texas. I am 55 years old, a mother of two boys and 2 grand children a
boy and a girl. I am a professional Interpreter for hospitals in
English/Spanish and a sculptress in polymer clay.
This is the third year I get very sick.
The first year Dr thought it was allergies, so I got a prescription
for allergies. The second year Dr thought it was Bronchitis but this
last year I’ve been sick for 4 weeks and last week I had the most
horrible experience: The “out of the water fish experience” I had
terrible cough, I couldn’t breathe and I ended up int the Er. It turns
out that I was diagnosed with COPD and emphisema at an early stage.
Throughout my life I have quit 4 times for 9 months when I was
pregnant with each son and then for 18 months and the last time for 20
months. Now I am in the need to quit in order to live, so that’s my
reason for joining this group.
Thanks you for reading my Bible, lol,
Glo
March 17th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Hi Glo,
Craving a cigarette … is the result of either a lowered nicotine level
that has brought on ‘body cue’ symptoms of withdrawal (tense muscles,
shallow breathing) or some life situation that has the same body cues
(fatigue, hunger, etc). ‘Craving a cigarette’ is made up of body cues but
by itself isn’t a body cue. Rather it’s the end result of several body cues
that come together and are recognized as a need to smoke. Hunger pang might
be defined in a bit more detail i.e. the knotting in the stomach. Headache
and hands shaking are certainly body cues. Use this rule of thumb… body
cues are body parts. Name them.
If it’s due to a lowered nicotine level, treat the symptoms of
withdrawal i.e. the muscle tension and inefficient breathing. That means
stretching and breathing. In your case since you’re basically creating a
constant state of withdrawal, I’d suggest you use your timer to remind
yourself to stop, stretch, and deep breathe at least 2-3 times an hour.
Think of it as a prescription for detox and the early stages of recovery.
Exactly. Hungry, eat responsible. Tired, rest, Cold, put on a sweater.
Just remember that every life situation comes with body cues. Our habit is
to immediately associate a smoking response. The timer will help you begin
to be aware of just what messages your body is sending so that you can
start to choose how you’ll respond.
Glo what time ‘GMT’ can you come to the chat room?
Steve
March 18th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Hi Glo,
Please ignore the ‘GMT’ question, had you confused with someone else.
You’re in Texas so if you give me Texas time when you can be in the chat
room, I’ll try to meet you there.
Steve
March 21st, 2007 at 7:23 am
Hi I am Newbie.
Passing thru first week of smorbity.
Any one who can give me details about this prog.
RSRANA
April 27th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Hi all,
I am new to the group and plan on quit smoking in a week on my
fortieth birthday. Some how I found the site on cognitivequitting,
which led me here. I read the introduction on the group’s homepage,
but was left wondering what exactly cognitivequitting was and where do
I begin. If anyone has words of wisdom, or information on where and
how to utilize cognitivequitting please share.
Thanks,
Brian
June 2nd, 2007 at 4:04 am
Hi All,
I guess I’ll do a quick intro!
I’m living in Ireland and my family are mostly smoke free! My eldest
brother recently married and as his wife smokes he has started again. He
had quit for many, many years beforehand. My other brother, sister and
their husbands/wives are all smoke free aswell! My brother in law is
approx 8 years off cigarettes after smoking 80+ per day. He’s still
paying the price from it now - he’s currently on a waiting list for a
by-pass operation. My mam smoked for many years & gave up when I was
younger - I still remember that time! I think it’s ingrained on the
families memories! But she did quit and is nearly 20 years smoke free.
Unfortunately she is still suffering the side effects - she regularly
has bad chest infections - to the extent of hospitalisation & she also
suffers from emphysema and is on a cocktail of inhalers and medication.
My father was diagnosed with lung cancer and had 60% of one of his lungs
removed. The operation went well, but unfortunately he became infected
with MRSA & died as a result.
So this is Me! I’m 24 years old. I’ve had a really bad and stressful
year (maybe a little longer than a year). I did try to quit during this
and lasted absolutely no lenght!!! You all know the excuses!
Anyway, I decided that once I made it through the stress and mess, esp
those of the last month, that I was definitely giving up… and going
for the loooong haul. No more excuses!
I’m currently smoking 20 per day - since my last ‘attempt’ at giving up
I changed from Malboro Red to Silk Cut Ultra. I’m hoping to set a date
over the coming week or two for the big D-day.
For now I’m trying to prepare myself - getting together anything that
will motivate me (if anyone had good links, quotes, etc PLEASE pass them
on!!!).
Other than that this group screamed out at me! Ok… not literally, I’m
sure when you’re not in the clutches of a craving you are all very nice
people!!! Previously when I’ve given up I’ve always failed because
smoking is so much of who I am, what I do… how I regulate my moods…
those little things. The coffee & cigarette syndrome! Or that fact that
at work I don’t take regular breaks - instead I break my time into small
chunks where I can get a cigarette - and it’s relief! To take 5 minutes,
step outside, get fresh air (no need to point out the irony!), and the
quietness…. then I’m ready to go back to tackle my job. Those are
things that get to me.
Anyway, for a first post this is getting a bit long - so I’ll close for
now!
Other than that I’m going to dig out Alan Carr!!! [:((]
Talk to you soon,
Linda
June 2nd, 2007 at 9:39 am
Hi Linda,
Your post was so interesting and enthusiastic and
as I read it I thought: you really have come to the
right place. I quit almost exactly a year ago but
recently have had a ‘relapse’ and have been dabbling
with smoking again. I RAN back here, to get refreshed
on this approach.. because when I quit a year ago it
was so amazingly easy and successful. I really
have not missed smoking at all, truly, the whole
year’s time. But I lost touch with the essentials, I
never completely followed through, and I think that
is why I became vulnerable again at a difficult point
in my life. Steve, who runs this site (and there
are others who work with him and will encourage
and advise you) is an excellent, devoted [and sometimes
a bit confronting, but in an effective way] coach ..
chat with him, take advantage of what he has learned,
plus your own wish to not be a smoker, and it will
work for you.. I have no doubt, especially reading
the amount of self awareness you already seem to
have.
Starting with the timer exercise is incredibly
helpful. I am again determined to walk away from
this addiction and if I can do it.. (not once but
twice!) then I am convinced anybody can. Warm
wishes & welcome, Annie
<< Hi All,
I guess I’ll do a quick intro!
I’m living in Ireland and my family are mostly smoke free! My eldest
brother recently married and as his wife smokes he has started again. He
had quit for many, many years beforehand. My other brother, sister and
their husbands/wives are all smoke free aswell! My brother in law is
approx 8 years off cigarettes after smoking 80+ per day. He’s still
paying the price from it now - he’s currently on a waiting list for a
by-pass operation. My mam smoked for many years & gave up when I was
younger - I still remember that time! I think it’s ingrained on the
families memories! But she did quit and is nearly 20 years smoke free.
Unfortunately she is still suffering the side effects - she regularly
has bad chest infections - to the extent of hospitalisation & she also
suffers from emphysema and is on a cocktail of inhalers and medication.
My father was diagnosed with lung cancer and had 60% of one of his lungs
removed. The operation went well, but unfortunately he became infected
with MRSA & died as a result.
So this is Me! I’m 24 years old. I’ve had a really bad and stressful
year (maybe a little longer than a year). I did try to quit during this
and lasted absolutely no lenght!!! You all know the excuses!
Anyway, I decided that once I made it through the stress and mess, esp
those of the last month, that I was definitely giving up… and going
for the loooong haul. No more excuses!
I’m currently smoking 20 per day - since my last ‘attempt’ at giving up
I changed from Malboro Red to Silk Cut Ultra. I’m hoping to set a date
over the coming week or two for the big D-day.
For now I’m trying to prepare myself - getting together anything that
will motivate me (if anyone had good links, quotes, etc PLEASE pass them
on!!!).
Other than that this group screamed out at me! Ok… not literally, I’m
sure when you’re not in the clutches of a craving you are all very nice
people!!! Previously when I’ve given up I’ve always failed because
smoking is so much of who I am, what I do… how I regulate my moods…
those little things. The coffee & cigarette syndrome! Or that fact that
at work I don’t take regular breaks - instead I break my time into small
chunks where I can get a cigarette - and it’s relief! To take 5 minutes,
step outside, get fresh air (no need to point out the irony!), and the
quietness…. then I’m ready to go back to tackle my job. Those are
things that get to me.
Anyway, for a first post this is getting a bit long - so I’ll close for
now!
Other than that I’m going to dig out Alan Carr!!! [:((]
Talk to you soon,
Linda
August 31st, 2007 at 9:34 am
I quit smoking 15 days ago, for the second time in 26 years of being a
smoker. I chew the nic gum, and do my best to keep busy–but when the
days are packed with stressful deadlines, I still struggle with intense
urges. I have trouble concentrating on my work and I wonder how the
heck I’m going to do this without yelling and screaming through the
day. It’s pretty good when I can fit exercize and relaxation into my
schedule, but sometimes the work is so demanding and relentless that I
want to scream. But here I am. Smoke free for 15 days. Some of them
are painful and difficult. But I didn’t smoke today. Anybody want to
share with me?