Hey!!! I’m back home. Did anyone miss me??? Geez,
I was gone for a whole 24 hours! Anyway, the brats (16 yr. old girl
soccer team) decided to play kick ball today instead of passing the
ball so we didn’t get past semi-finals for the first time in 6 years.
Kind of depressing but I can handle it. What the heck, indoor soccer
starts tomorrow 
Anyway, if I haven’t already welcomed the new kids on the block,
welcome!!!
Ann - congrats on your accomplishment so far. Hope to be right along
at over 7 weeks in about 3 weeks. I hate to hear about someone as
young as yourself having heart problems but thanks for sharing because
that info always makes me think about the health issues connected to
smoking. BTW, I thought that smoking was banned in California - ? A
little confirmation here, Pat? And, oh yeah, Ann, your comment on us
not being afraid to share what is deep down inside - are you kidding, a
chance for me to talk about Moi?, I can’t pass that up!
Lynne - Keep on trying Lynne, you’ll get there. It takes time to
change the way we think. In my case, it’s more the way I don’t think.
i.e., I find I act before I think which has been situation normal for
me for as long as I can remember. Sitting down with your cup of coffee
shouldn’t change (unless, of course, you shouldn’t be drinking coffee
for health reasons); what needs to change is what you think you need
when you sit down and have that cup of coffee. I’ve been trying to
train myself to taking a break by purposely thinking to myself, ok I
need a break, I should sit down with a glass of exotic fruit juice (I
don’t drink coffee, one of the few bad habits I never developed); is a
smoke going to help relax me? Not really, maybe some deep breathing,
and either a few moments of distraction on TV or sitting out on the
deck enjoying the wildlife. I’m hoping that after a while, I won’t
even associate taking a break with smoking (actually, it’s starting to
work that way now after practicing for a few weeks on this). Baby
steps, Lynne.
Toby - I don’t know how long you’ve been seriously thinking about
quitting but I have to tell you, it took me almost three weeks on Zyban
just mulling it over in my brain 24/7 before I had the guts to finally
stop. And that was after YEARS of trying to get myself to that point.
Oh, how I angonized. I would beat myself up everyday for the past few
years, then it just finally came to me that this is probably the
stupidest damn thing that I could ever do to myself. My dad has
emphasema, my grandpa died of emphasema, my father-in-law whom I loved
dearly died a few years ago from esophagus cancer - HELLO! Is there a
message here? Well, it took me long enough to get it - why so long?
Because deep down, I knew it would be SO hard. But so far, has the
quit been worth it? Hell, yeah. I am SO excited to go to Florida for
Thanksgiving in a few weeks and hug my mom and dad and tell them that I
finally quit. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg for the benefits.
You already know the benefits. Everyone does. I ignored them for
years because I didn’t want to face up to my addiction. Anyway, I hope
that this website will help you. Read what Steve posts. Everyone
knows that I give Steve a hard time because he “makes my head hurt” but
that’s because I am basically a lazy person who is finally exercising
my brain. Good luck, Toby, don’t give up.
Sue - good to see you on chat yesterday. I don’t think I got a chance
to say hello to you since I was in such a mad rush but I was glad to
see you in there and look forward to “seeing you” again.
Indi - OK, girlfriend. What a great post…you impress me so much with
how you can sort out your feelings and put them into words. And to be
able to come right out and admit that you finally realize that part of
your family drives you bonkers. You know, everyone jokes about such
things but you are actually facing up to the reality of it all. It
must be very hard and I hope that you and your husband can work through
it because I know that he’s a critical part of your support system.
And what a positive conclusion!!! You’ve worked through the issues you
are going to face and then add something positive to look forward to
during the weekend (the walk around the lake). I hope you’re having a
great time and I look forward to “talking” to you in the next day or
two.
OK, I’ve just realized that I ‘ve practically written a book here so
I’m going to shut up now (but not for long as you well know).
Later Gator,
- Cat
“I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional
pains.” - Anonymous
February 18th, 2003 at 2:21 pm
Hello all…..
I hope to sit down and spend more than a couple of minutes with all of
you in the very near future. I’d really like to respond to some of your
most recent (and wonderful) posts. I’ve had lots of r/l stuff happening
but that should get better after tomorrow. ‘Sides that, I gotta get
some rest ’cause next weekend the grandsons come to stay for a couple of
nights!!! (They are just the best guys. I’m not sure whether they’ll
pick the movies or the museum to go see. But…. whatever they choose,
I need to be able to keep up with them. They are two of the finest
reasons why I stay quit. After all of this time, if I were to start
smoking now, I don’t think I could face them. And…. their smooches
are so precious that I’m not willing to give ‘em up!)
Cat wrote:
BTW, I thought that smoking was banned in California - ? A
little confirmation here, Pat?
Cat….. I’m in Nevada and Ann is in California. We live just over the
line from each other. I am the manager of a fabric and crafts store
(Jo-Ann’s) where she buys some of her fabric for her quilting and….
I’ve also taught her a class or two. Smile. (She’s a terrific quilter,
btw. Wow.) In California, they banned smoking in restaurants and
public places such as office buildings, etc. It would be cool if they
could ban smoking altogether but I don’t think that would ever happen.
But there are a lot of restrictions on smoking where second hand smoke
is a problem. Good for California. Nevada is the gambling state….
LOTS of casinos. Banning smoking here could/would never happen, not
with the money (and therefore the power) the casinos have. Too Bad. I
can’t walk into a casino nowadays. I literally get sick to my stomach.
I am NOT a righteous non-smoker. I have no room to tell/suggest to
anyone they should quit smoking. But when I quit, it seems like my nose
came back almost twofold. I’m very sensitive to smells. And cigarette
smell is the worst for me.
I am so proud to be associated with this group of quitters. You guys
are terrific. I’ll write more very soon.
Pat
www.talkingstick.net
February 19th, 2003 at 3:39 am
Hey Cat !! Good to see you back, we missed ya. Sorry they didn’t get
I know what you meant about the head hurting! I was telling Steve in
Now I’m rambling - I’m away. Hope to catch some of you in Spinchat
past the semis, but there’s another day and a bigger trophy waiting
I’m sure.
BTW those jokes were great - I think the cogquit’s group motto is
about to be born
chat last night about this comedy show in the UK where one of the
characters frequently used to mutter “ugh-my brain hurts”. That was
me in the early days of my quit. Not only was I dealing with the
mental fog of detox, but I was now starting to confront, work out and
deal with feelings and emotions that had been buried for yrs with.
Then the blinding realisations that hey! I didn’t actually need a
cig, what I actually needed was to understand what had caused the
knots in the stomach and the racing pulse, and the best way of
treating them/working them out. Sometimes it was painful confronting
those feelings, sometimes it was funny - but those realisations were
always amazing. If I hadn’t found cognitive quitting and Steve I
would just have gone back in no time to stuffing those feelings and
assuming that only smoking could help me deal with life.
And bingo!, one by one all those associations started to break til I
got to this beautiful place where having a cig doesn’t even occur to
me anymore. In fact I find I can’t even stand the smell of them
anymore. John and I were out last night in a smoky pub and it was so
horrible in there we came home early,whereas once I’d have been there
in the thick of it helping fill up the ashtrays. He thinks its great -
I’m a cheap night out these days - ha! he doesn’t know whats coming
up on the credit card bill
later on especially some of the new folks here - prob around 9ish my
time (4pm EST)
bye for now
Pam
February 19th, 2003 at 10:54 am
Hi Pat - I wanted to thank you for posting the link to your website.
I have been sitting here engrossed reading all morning. It is a
fascinating diary, especially the stages of your quit and all the
feelings that went with it. The more I read the more I could identify
and found myself saying ‘yes! - I remember that’(especially the bit
about ‘what do I do now I’m on this plateau’). I keep a journal
myself and am thinking that perhaps one day I must do something
similar. No ‘perhaps’ about it…..
Everybody - I urge you to go there and read.
bye again
Pam
February 20th, 2003 at 12:55 am
Hi everybody,
As I was typing this I haven’t been smoking but I just got up and
I just joined yesterday and I’ve read the posts so far. I’ve even
gone back to the beginning of the list last month and read a bunch
from there. Then I went to alt.support.stop-smoking and read some. I
have got a quit meter and being on a Mac that wasn’t the easiest
thing.
There is a lot of really useful information here and I do thank you
all for being here. I see a lot of information but I also see a whole
bunch of support!! Thanks Steve, Indi, Marde, Liz, Cat (on a Mac),
Pat, others.
About me:
I’m 53 years old, divorced, live alone (not even a cat). I teach
kindergarten. I currently smoke 2 - 2 1/2 packs a day. I have smoked
for 35 years at about the same rate. At this point no one I know very
well smokes at all. The last time I was able to voluntarily go more
than 24 hours without a smoke was in 1981. Also, I’m a recovered
alcoholic with almost 20 years sober.
I have a multitude of the usual reasons for wanting to quit smoking.
1. It smells bad
2. It tastes bad
3. It’s killing me
4. It’s killing my energy
5. It’s killing my appearance
6. It’s killing my sense of life
7. It’s killing my body
8. It’s killing my self-respect
9. It burns my things
10. I spend too much money
11. I spend too much time
12. I spend too much energy
13. Others hate it
14. It’s really a bother!!!!!
I could break that down further, I suppose.
The idea of the cognitive quit is really interesting to me. I was
reading Pat’s journal entries on her web-site and noticed that she
had a hard time knowing what she was feeling. I do too. Also there
were a lot of things we had in common. It’s the stresses that keep me
smoking and the detox of it is a stress in itself.
My hardest time is break and right after work. I cannot seem to be
able to unwind without a smoke. I have to learn some techniques but I
know that I still have to get through the withdrawals.
Also, work right now is unusually stressful, moreso than it’s been in
years. The problem is a new co-worker and neither one of us is going
away … so…. I’ll just have to learn to deal with it. (Although I
may ask for a transfer for next year.)
The fact that I’m under so much stress at work has me a bit worried
if I’m able to quit smoking and due to the weirdness that sets in,
make mistakes with my new co-worker watching my every move what will
I do? (Go tell the principal of my quit, I guess.) But my smoking
creates a lot of the stress I’m under in general so quitting might
help.
went to get one and stopped. What is going on? Why am I going to get
one? There is no particular stress right now. It’s simply a matter of
20 to 40 minutes between smokes.
That’s odd too because at work I go without for about 3 hours and
then I have 1 and then I go without for about 5 hours and then I have
1. And then I go for about an hour and start lighting up like a
chimney. This has been my pattern for years. The stress kind of
builds up at work and I smoke behind it later, to unravel it. (I
think walking would be better.)
I understand very well that a lot of this is a pattern behavior. It’s
based on my reactions to withdrawals and stress and boredom. I have
no problem not smoking for many many hours in places where it’s not
allowed. (I live in California.) I associate any event in the world
with smoking. (lol)
I’m reading and typing and going back and reading some more so pardon
all this garbage. I did smoke about 5 minutes after the craving. The
“hermy’s and Warren’s” did their thing. The cravings seem to just get
worse and worse and not go away sometimes.
I have a question. What kind of lists am I supposed to be making? I
have made so very many over the years. I could use some direction as
well as support.
I hesitate to say this but everything I’m reading is making so much
sense right now. It’s “clicking,” so to speak. This happened one time
before when I had read stuff forever about self-help and one day I
was sooooo stressed, (unbelievable losses) I read it again and it all
made sense and I was able to grow from there.
I don’t want to read that into this but maybe….
I’m up to message 113 in the archives and it is so packed full of
information that I think I’ll quit now. I’ll catch the rest of the
archives later. I’m going to go hunt up a journal. (although i’ve
tried journaling before.)
I’m sorry this got so terribly long,
becky
February 20th, 2003 at 1:28 pm
Hey, Becky. Welcome to Cogquit. A few comments on your intro:
yeh, some of these website are hard to get to on a Mac. I found
that downloading IE helped so if you are using Netscape, you
may want to consider going to Mactopia and downloading IE.
Now I use both which confuses the heck out of the computer
sometimes but that’s a normal situation for me (confusing).
You will find others here who are also recovering alcoholics who
will be able to relate to your recovery.
You mentioned somewhere in here about lists. You already
started your list for reasons to quit right here. Hey, part of my list
is in my post (#92) during which, during my introduction, I started
ranting about being tired of etc.etc.etc. That rant was taken off of
my list of reasons to quit.
Sorry, there’s ALWAYS an excuse not to quit. I know it’s tough but
once I faced up to that realization, I was able to move on.
Actually, I tell everyone about my quit. Some people run away
from me when they see me coming cuz they know they’re going
to have to listen to the ex-smoker spiel. But I do this on purpose
for two reasons. 1. It reinforces the quit for me, kind of like
everytime I talk about it, I’m recommiting to the quit. So if I fail, I’m
going to look like a real loser to a lot of the people I’ve made
listen to me (at least in my mind I will be a loser). 2. I like the
support I get at work because they know that my spaciness is
because I quit and they are being quite patient with me (my
boss did tell me to go smoke in the second week, tho - I know he
was just kidding but obviously it helps that he knows what is
going on with me, otherwise we might be under a strain right
now. As for now, he gets a big kick out of telling people on his
conference calls that they’ll “have to excuse Cat for a while, she
just quit smoking so everything that goes wrong is OBVIOUSLY
her fault, blah, blah, blah.” He thinks he’s being cute. But overall
he is definitely being supportive as he hasn’t said a word about
my being late a few mornings when I had trouble sleeping the
first few weeks and I think he’s secretly proud of me although
he’d never admit it (I’ve worked for him for 6 years).
Hey, Steve, does this look familiar (getting up in the middle of
typing on the computer to have a smoke break)?
Hey, ramble on. That’s part of the whole quitting process as far
as I’m concerned. Listen, Steve and I don’t always see eye to
eye on some things, but he definitely makes more sense than
anyone else I’ve read or listened to so keep on reading and see
what you think. And if you read a difference of opinion, just
remember that I’m the one that’s always right. HA!!!
- Cat
February 20th, 2003 at 3:54 pm
Hi Becky - good to meet you and start to get to know you.
Never without cigs (well, rarely);
I quit on Feb 24th as you might have read already and considered
myself a professional smoker
route plans worked out in advance for the next day - smoking corners
identified in advance, fellow smokers to go get a fix with ; bag
(you call it purse) stuffed full of mints, toothbrush and toothpaste,
Febreeze, breath fresheners, pks of cigs and lighter, etc etc. Great.
A relaxing way to spend my time?
Like most smokers I truly believed that smoking helped me to relax
and de-stress me. They picked me up, got me into gear, calmed me -
NOT! I came to learn that as a smoker I was in a constant state of
stress and withdrawal as the nicotine levels dropped, and all the
associations I’d learned throughout my smoking career kicked in ie I
need this cig to help me to deal with my boss, deal with stroppy
colleagues (is that a Britism?), drive the car, help the kettle to
boil, make this book more enjoyable etc etc etc.
Cognitive quitting is an amazing tool which has taught me how to deal
with the events life throws at me and understand what those
smoking ‘craves’ are really about and how to deal with them.
Welcome Becky - this is a good place to be. Hope you can get to Chat
soon, but keep reading and posting in the meantime.
take care
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, becky alexander <bekalex@o…
October 2nd, 2004 at 4:02 am
i’d like to introduce myself to this group. my name is joan, i’m 52 years old
and i live in rotterdam, the netherlands.
i’ve tried quitting smoking hundreds of times, starting about 18 years ago. i’ve
never succeeded in staying quit, and the reasons i started again varied from
“one cig. won’t hurt” when i was at a party, weight gain, and especially
emotional stress. the last time i started smoking again was because my
relationship broke up, and i quit again on july 1st, using nicotine replacement
therapy. but instead of using less nicotine pills, i start using more and more,
so i want to try without them. as i’m sure there’s a connection between my
smoking habit and my emotions, i want to try this cognitive method, hoping i
will finally succeed in really quitting. most of the time, i succeed in staying
quit for about 3, 4 months. i used to be a very heavy smoker, about 30/40 cigs a
day, and whenever i start again, i’m back to this amount in no time at all, i
can’t just have one cig. every once in a while. luckily most of my friends
don’t smoke, but 2 of them do, and whenever i see them, especially when i also
have a few glasses of wine, it’s very hard not to join them in smoking.
i hope with the support of this group i’ll finally succeed in quitting
altogether.
joan.
October 30th, 2005 at 5:25 pm
Hi, I’m new to the group. I haven’t quit smoking yet. I just starting to gear
up for it but I haven’t set a quit date yet. I’ve smoked for the past 20
something years and am really clueless as to how to function without cigs. I
smoke
2 or more packs a day. My reasons for quitting are:
1) My health - tired of being short of breath and coughing all the time plus
my father just had a second heart bypass operation 2 weeks ago and if he lives
another 10 years we will be lucky (that will make him only 78)
2) Others health & comfort - I’m the only one in my family that still smokes.
Even my pets don’t like it.
3) I hate the smell and taste of smoking and all of the time and energy I
waste thinking about cigs and taking breaks to smoke
4) the cost is outrageous - The only thing I spend more on is my mortgage.
All that money so that I can poison myself
Lynn