I’m in spinchat
Hi folks,
I’ve got a problem. When I ask ppl to describe what they’re feeling, I’m
not getting the anwers I’m looking for. This is probably because I’m not
being clear. In an effort to clarify what I mean by “Describe what you
feel?”, I’m trying to come up with some tiny exercises that illustrate
‘feelings’ in terms of physical sensations. These are not intended to
create long term awareness or even awareness through a day. Their sole
purpose is to create instant awareness of a particular sensation so that we
may learn what to focus on when ‘describing how we feel’.
Put a rubber band around your wrist. Snap it. What does that feel like?
Does it sting? Does it pinch? Describe the sensation.
Place a hand flat on the table. With two fingers of your other hand, push
down on the back of the hand that’s on the table. Push fairly hard.
Describe the sensation. Describe what the two fingers that are pushing feel.
At a steady pace, go up and down a flight of stairs twice without stopping
(or once if twice would be too much). Describe what you are feeling,
describe what you are doing i.e. breathing, heart rate.
Hold an ice cube in your hand. Notice the first sensations of cold. do you
feel it getting colder? Does the cold sensation change to one more like
pain? Describe the feeling of cold as it goes from cold to pain. Can you
hold it longer and feel the pain turn back to cold? Do you feel the cold
up into your wrist? That sensation of cold…. describe it.
If you’re not sure you understand what describing a physical sensation is
about, go back to the rubber band and snap it HARDER. Describe that.
If any of you can think of some more little routines to focus
awareness on a physical sensation, please add them.
steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 20th, 2003 at 10:40 pm
Hi Steve,
But I think with me I’ve usually smoked the feelings away. Every time
I’ve had some experience with therapy and this is what the therapists
are always trying to do, get folks “in touch” with their feelings.
And yes, I’m talking about the physical ones.
When I was first in therapy I had no idea what anger felt like
physically. I would think it and act it out but not just feel it. And
that was the problem. So that’s what we specifically worked on,
finding my anger. I finally felt it one night, like warmly oozing out
of my arms. Others feel it like hot eyes or seeing red: the physical
manifestations of anger.
Sadness is usually a heaviness in the chest. (That’s what I felt most
of.) Fear is constriction of the chest, throat. Stomachs sometimes
feel tight or heavy.
Anyway, after the therapy was finished (about 8 weeks) I felt so good
that I told the therapist I could almost quit smoking. (lol) I could
* feel * my feelings!
I get a physical feeling I smoke it out. I suppose (I hope) that they
will come back when I get quit of the smoking. I hope I can identify
them so that I will deal with hunger by eating instead of smoking.
Thirst with drinking water. Maybe if I can get really aware again I
can feel them prior to quitting and respond to them intelligently
(cognitively?).
Right now I just feel tingly all over my hands and feet (natch). I
feel a little full from eating a banana. And I’m very tired. A bit
of a headache from being on-line so much already today.
The lack of vocabulary to identify the feelings is part of the
problem and the only reason I lack the vocabulary is because I
haven’t really used it before. I never did understand “hot” as a
descriptor for angry.
becky
February 21st, 2003 at 8:26 am
Becky
I
Welcome to the group.
And thank you thank you so much for posting:
I don’t think any of us ‘come with’ a vocabulary for how or what we
feel. I think we can all work toward a description of what we feel when
smoking, what we feel when quitting, what we feel at the moments when we
encounter triggers.
Most of us believed that a cig ’smoked a feeling away’. We probably
believed this because it was true. I know that when I was feeling the
sensations of worry (tight chest, neck, and shoulders), a couple of drags
on a cigarette sure changed my reality and my feelings …….. for
about as long as it took to suck down that couple of drags. Within a
minute or two of lighting up, my mind was already drifting back to the
stress at hand with all it’s associated beliefs and my body would shortly
join my mind right back where I’d been just before i lit up. I think it’s
really important to be aware of just how long a cigarette actually sheilded
us from our feelings.
You can. Many of the situations/conditions that are the ’setup’ for our
feelings are predictable as are the times when we’re likely to experience
them. Don’t you know when it’s time, at least chronologically, to eat? Can
we expect to ‘feel’ hunger around certain times?
Becky, we’re all in that position initially. You talked of this
material ‘clicking’. This cognitive approach is grasped as intuitively
correct by some people. You may find that it all just fits perfectly.
hope so.
Here’s that bit about lists:
Write out some lists of reasons ‘why’ you smoked and note also ‘when’.
List some reasons why you would want or need to quit. List what emotions
and conditions you have felt in your daily life (anger, fear, frustrantion,
hot , cold, hungry, tired).
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
March 4th, 2003 at 9:59 am
Steve
I went into chat and there is no-one there. I just clicked on chat
on the web page. Is that not the way to do it?
Lynne
March 12th, 2003 at 1:50 am
some one once commented that a ’smoke free’ section of a dining room was a
bit like having a ‘piss free’ area in a swimming pool.
www.cognitivequitting.com
September 16th, 2003 at 8:01 pm
It’s 9pm UK time, 4pm EST. Anyone want to chat a bit?
Pam
April 24th, 2004 at 12:30 am
Sorry I was not home early enough, Pam…………. Jean
April 24th, 2004 at 2:48 pm
Some will have to. Those who alter the dialogs that associate a cigarette
with life will be free of that necessity.