[CognitiveQuitSmoking) Pat’s Talkingstick Diaries
Hi Pat - I’m enjoying your posts and still reading away at your
website. Three and a half years quit really is a great achievement.
haven’t.
Absolutely, yes. Like a lot of people, when I tried to quit in
the past I thought it was just about fighting those craves, hanging
in by the skin of my teeth and hoping it’d pass. I learned that it
was about understanding my smoking behaviour - looking deeper and
tackling what was REALLY causing those smoking craves. Learning how
to plan ahead and get strategies in place so that I didn’t find
myself in that blind panic that used to have me reaching for a cig.
Today for example turned out to be every bit as stressful as I’d
expected it might be. I’d worked out plans beforehand on how I was
going to field what was going to be thrown at me. In the past I’d
probably just have got through the day by the skin of my teeth,
nipping outside for a several cigs which I would have inhaled down to
my toes. I remember Steve going through ‘What if’ ABC’s with me, and
now I realise I do this automatically. Also, I know I can’t predict
100% what’s going to happen in the course of a day - who can -, but I
know I’ve tried and tested responses in place that I can call on.
Yes indeed, cognitive quitting has taught me skills that I can apply
to much that life throws at me, and it has made a huge difference to
me.
And now, after one s**t of a day, I’m off to relax in a scented bath
with a good book and some soothing music, and hope dh is going to
cook the meal - ‘hope’ being the operative word 
bye for now
Pam
February 23rd, 2003 at 8:28 am
I joined the email group a week ago and have been reading the posts with
interest. I quit smoking almost 3 months ago. It’s still pretty difficult at
times and I joined the group hoping there was a better way to deal with the
cravings.
Char
February 24th, 2003 at 12:43 am
Hi Char
Welcome to the group and congratulations on your quit - I’m sure you will
learn some techniques to cope with the smoking urges and the things that go
on when we are stressed and think that a ‘cig would help’ cos it always did
in the past.
I have much to learn about cognitive thinking but what I am learning is
helping enormously.
I’m a slow learner and a true addict - I’d much rather have a ‘pill or magic
potion’ to make things like the urges go away - but Steve and all the old cog
quitters tell me it gets easier with time and experience. And I really do
believe them but sometimes its just sooooo hard to use the tools I already
have in my toolbox and so I keep in my misery a lot longer than I need to.
Anyway - look forward to getting to know you and am sure you will enjoy the
group cos they are a great bunch of people
Namaste
Indi
February 24th, 2003 at 4:10 pm
Hi Char,
You need to keep in mind that 3 months, while it might feeling like an
eternity of not smoking, is really a short time in the process of moving
from a smoker to one who doesn’t. Most of us have quit in the past
believing that ‘it’ll get better’ at some point. Why would it? Other than
not feeding ourselves a cig when we want one, what are we doing? I’m
guessing that most of your strategie so far has been to just not smoke.
Lets start to look at some connections tween some of your events and urges.
Can you write out 3 or 4 instances during a normal day when it’s rough i.e.
times or places when you would have lit up in the past?
steve
ps- Lynne, you mentioned the break as a time to sit down, light up, and
relax. I’ve been working out an ABC or two around the ‘break’ scenario and
how you might prepare yourself to enact a completely different pattern of
behavior during a break. Give me another day or so to get it together, and
in the mean time, can you come up with some ways you might take a break
that would relax you, help you ‘catch your breath’, and get you ready for
the next stretch of work?
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 24th, 2003 at 11:25 pm
Hi Ann,
Whether or not it ‘gets better’ is pretty much dependant on whether or
not we disconnect the associations to smoking that really had nothing to do
with nicotine. Example: boss calls, sounds angry, and is coming right
down. (Why? What’d I do? Is he angry at me?) One sensation that usualy goes
with that situation is anxiety. Anxiety is one of the first signs of a
lowered nic level. Once we learned that a cig cured that ‘anxious’ almost
immediately, we used a smoke to cure all anxiety. I did. Didn’t you? That
became an established connection, anxious = light up. When we quit, and
once past the detox, we’re left with the connection tween anxiety and a
cig. That became an automatic connection yrs ago. That connection will
continue to be there long after we no longer ‘need’ a cig to deal with
anxiety. Anxiety is only one of many sensations we used to cure with a cig.
And that’s why for many quitters, it doesn’t get better. Of course, some
quitters will hang on long enough that they’ll pretty much forget the cig
cure for anxiety. But what happens 2 yrs down the road when there’s a
crisis that is top heavy with anxiety? Having never really disconnected the
cig/anxiety connection, will it come roaring back? That happens all to often.
As for your question “…as time goes by we don’t desire that smoke
anymore, right???” I don’t know. For me, how long I was quit seemed to
have very little effect on how comfortable I was being quit. Only when I
started asking “why am I feeling this sensation called anxious?” and “how
can I relive it without a smoke?”, did it begin getting better for me.
steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 25th, 2003 at 6:40 am
From the experience that is born of making so many mistakes. Step in enough
piles, you learn different ways to clean it off your shoes.
www.cognitivequitting.com
February 25th, 2003 at 12:58 pm
In a message dated 13/11/01 03:37:55 GMT Standard Time,
ddsteve@… writes:
Hi Lynne
I know this part of Steve’s post was aimed at you but just wanted to let you
know that this was the hardest part of my quit - finding something else,
which was as rewarding as smoking, and filled me need for a ‘reward’ in
between jobs.
Didn’t want biccies with my coffee cos had a thing (still have) about getting
fat - so I am still struggling with this one - please think about it and post
your thoughts cos they might help me.
Regards
Indi
February 26th, 2003 at 1:45 am
Hi Indi
That is a big ???? for me - I know that I am afraid of weight gain
when I quit. Everyone tells me how much weight they put on when
they quit so it is scary. Another problem I have - last time I quit
I had great difficulty going to the loo!!!!!! Has anyone else had
this problem?
Lynne
February 27th, 2003 at 4:56 am
The average weight gain after quitting is 5 pounds. People may gain
more than that at first (some people actually initially lose weight)
but eventually most people will lose most of what they gained once
their energy comes back. As for me, I don’t think I’ve gained any
weight so far since my quit because I’m trying to avoid the trap of
replacing food with a smoke. Instead, I’m learning (this isn’t
always easy)what my body is really telling me when I think I want a
smoke. Am I really hungry? Hmm, maybe, but oftentimes not.
Sometimes, I just need a break, or some hydration, etc. I have
gained weight the past five years so don’t want to gain more and am
hoping to lose some in the next few years. I know that the smoking
was actually hindering my efforts to lose weight because I’d gotten
to the point where I just couldn’t exercise properly because I would
get out of breath, and I would procrasinate with a smoke or two, then
decide what the hell, I didn’t feel like exercising anyway. I remind
myself that during the period when I wasn’t smoking around 15 years
ago was the best shape I’d been in (and that was after the birth of
my third child!) because I had the energy to get out and walk and
take jazzercise classes. Unfortunately, at that time, I thought of
smoking constantly and eventually went back to a pack a day habit.
As far as going to the loo, constipation is very common in the first
few weeks of a quit. There’s some kind of chemical in ciggies that
replaces our natural ability to be regular. Once we quit, it takes
the body a while to recover it’s natural function to become regular
again.
OK, enough seriousness, I’ve got to get back to work where I can have
some fun (yeah, right).
Hope this helps,
Cat
February 27th, 2003 at 3:42 pm
In a message dated 13/11/01 09:58:50 GMT Standard Time,
kisses@… writes:
:Hi Lynne
You have got it - there is something in cigs - not sure if it is the nicotine
or one of the additives - which has a laxative effect - so constipation when
quitting is fairly common
Didn’t have it so much this time as I have in the past, maybe cos this time
in the first couple of weeks I chomped away on carrot, celery, courgette
batons and loads of sunflower and pumpkin seeds!!!!!
You really have to set your date and no matter what on that date just don’t
smoke - you might have gathered from some of my posts that I used to have a
problem with alcohol.
One of the tools I used in the beginning to get sober was the 12 step
approach (didn’t agree with all of it) and one of the things in this approach
is JUST FOR TODAY. Sometimes JUST FOR THIS MINUTE - so maybe give that a go.
But if you are cutting down at least there is some ‘harm reduction’ there so
I have got my fingers crossed for you but at the end of the day - you have to
do something different if you want something different cos If you always do
what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
So if the discomfort becomes too much and you give it a nic fix then every
time that discomfort becomes unbearable you will fix it with nic. Try and
think about what other ways you could fix it - yes its uncomfortable but once
you do it you feel so good about yourself and it does get easier with time.
Keep posting and keep reading and never quit quitting.
love
Indi
February 28th, 2003 at 1:27 pm
Hiya Cat
I am sooooo envious if you haven’t gained any weight - don’t think its fair
and if you are thinking about what your body wants then that means you are
thinking more than me and that isn’t fair either.
Sulk, sulk, stamping feet like spoiled brat -
On serious note maybe thats what I really need to do and not just replace
cigs with food although having said that I was so paranoid about gaining
weight that I only ever ate one meal a day. So maybe I am just going to get
what I should have weighed if I had eaten properly anyway.
Hope you have a good day.
big hugs across the ocean
Indi
March 1st, 2003 at 10:10 pm
Um, if you read my post again, you will note that I have gained
weight the past few years so don’t be jealous. Besides, you’re a
little English lady, remember, you shouldn’t have problems.
Actually, this is funny that you should post this a little while
ago. I was just having a conversation with a co-worker who has a
weight problem and I was telling her about cognitive thinking and
she’s now doing a search on the web for help with cog thinking and
overeating. Hey, whatever it takes. - Cat
March 4th, 2003 at 4:26 am
Pam
What a lovely uplifting post to go to bed on - thanks a lot :)))))
love
Indi
ps - now everyone will be wondering what I am talking about - hee hee
March 4th, 2003 at 5:50 pm
Hi Indi
much appreciated. There are several of you here new to
Thanks
your quits/maybe struggling/about to quit. I try to post to let you
see that practising your cog thinking pays huge dividends, and sooner
than you think it will.
nite
Pam
March 5th, 2003 at 2:58 pm
But it isn’t the
Oh, I know what you are saying here!!!! I felt like this on my last
quit, which lasted nearly 6 months. We went away for a weekend and
two of the ladies with us smoked - they had to keep looking round for
places where they could smoke. We went to a cafe and they did not
come in because it was no smoking. At the time I felt sooooo good
that I did not need to depend on cigarettes in that way. Don’t know
what went wrong really - I know I need to get my mind back to
thinking like that.
Lynne