Two little voices
Okay
I have two voices going against each other at the moment - in my head
that is!!!!
One is telling me “Just quit, you can do it - you know they are no
good for you!!!” The other is saying “But you do enjoy it, just have
another then quit!!!”
I know I don’t want to be a smoker, I need to get rid of that second
voice.
Lynne
February 26th, 2003 at 4:52 pm
Hi Lynne - ’scuse me jumping in here. I quit almost 9 months ago
after many failed attempts over a number of yrs. IMHO, until you
passionately want to quit and have solid reasons for wanting to quit
(Steve has posted about Foundation statements, I think?), it’s going
to be a tough mental battle with lots of very tiring inner dialogues
such as these going on…….
Do you ‘enjoy’ smoking, or do you ‘need’ to smoke is another question
to ask yourself too. I thought I enjoyed smoking but realise now it
was only about topping up nic levels and connecting a cig to many
events and moments in the day. Have a read of ‘Partners’
and ‘Weighing Widgets’ on Steve’s site for a lot of inside into those
voices you’re hearing….
all the best
Pam
February 27th, 2003 at 7:22 am
Hi Char - see message 155 from Steve
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Charlotte Crothers” <char@c…
February 27th, 2003 at 10:57 pm
In a message dated 13/11/01 10:02:14 GMT Standard Time,
kisses@… writes:
Okay Lynne - I had those two voices on my way home from work today - so this
is the deal I made myself. Not sure if its the right way but it worked so
what the heck.
I decided that if, by the time I got home, (takes me about 20 mins drive) I
had given myself three positive reasons why me buying a pack of cigs and
actually returning to being a smoker (cos thats the bottom line for me I know
I can’t just have one), then I would do it.l
I’ve been home now for about 3/4 hour and I still honestly can’t think of one
so I am staying as a non-smoker.
Before cogquit I would have been able to give myself loads of reasons but
that was then and this is now.
I did have some ideas but soon saw that they were not real - just imaginery.
It would relax me - ‘how the hell would puffing on a stick of tobacco and
inhaling all those chemicals into my lungs relax me - inhaling some lavender
essential oils would relax me, be less harmful and not cost me any money (cos
already got some),
I enjoy smoking and its my only vice so it would be a treat - did I really
ever enjoy smoking or was it something I just had to do to get my nic
fix????? Do I really need a vice?????? Would it really be a treat to inhale
all that hot smoke and tar into my lungs - if thats true then I’ve got to be
a pretty sad person when that is the only way I can treat myself!
To be honest these were the only ‘thoughts’ I had so its not really a lot is
it when you consider that I had this awful smoking habit for 44 years.
Maybe you should start listening to your ‘inner voice’ Lynne and not your
‘hermy’
love
Indi
February 28th, 2003 at 7:00 pm
Thanks so much, Indi, I know I have the willpower, and I will do this.
Lynne
March 1st, 2003 at 2:56 pm
Aiyee!!! I really like this one, Indi. Maybe you should be the other
voice in my head! Good going!!
- Cat
OK, I figured out how to get to this page from work, now I’m REALLY
in trouble. Better get back to work.
March 2nd, 2003 at 9:53 am
Got home this afternoon, d/led my email, and almost fell off my chair when
I’m going to
The “cold icy” … “from the tip of my nose to the top of my neck” might
good to see you. That bit I wrote to Indi re: her ‘diet’, that’s
I saw how active you guys have been. FANTASTIC!!!!
have to find another hr or two per day to keep up with you.
Lynne,
You can do a little test to see if the belief that “you do enjoy it”
is true and, maybe more important, how much or often you enjoy smoking.
This is straight from SmokEnders …..
Wrap a piece of plain paper around your cigarette pack (use a rubber
band to keep it secure). If you know any golfers, get one of their little
pencils cuz those golfers pencils will fit inside a pack of smokes. Any
time you light up, use the pencil to make a note of day and time and if the
cig was enjoyable. How much of the cig was enjoyable? The whole thing? Only
the first one or two drags? Keep this record for one week. Lynne, if you
can do this little test, you’ll have a positive indication of just how
valid your belief that you enjoy smoking really is.
Indi,
Eating one meal a day is not only a lousy idea nutritionally, it’s
incredibly stressful. Because there is so much time between meals, your
body is in starvation mode and will ’store’ most of what you feed yourself
in the form of fat while using lean muscle for energy. There are
consequences to this sort of ‘diet’ and they aren’t good. Weight control
is far more about portion and content control than it is about frequency of
meals. If we don’t provide our bodies with proper fuel on a timely basis,
we will not perform well either physically or mentally. This is within our
control. Take control.
Re: feelings vs emotions…
Indi, those physical sensations you wrote about are EXACTLY what I want
you all to be aware of. WTG Indi
well be the feeling of air moving across tissues that are no longer swollen
and clogged with tar. Cig smoke swells mucous membranes in our nasal and
sinus passages. Nicotine and tar anesthetize, clog, and destroy the cilia
(little hair like structures that line air passages like the bronchial
tubes) who’s job it is to move impurities such as dust and tar droplets up
and out of our lungs. Quitters who develop a cough within a short time of
quitting are usually experiencing the regeneration and return to normal
function of those cilia. ( I work in occasionally dusty conditions. As a
smoker I wasn’t nearly as sensitive to the dust in the air as I am now. I
can feel the tickle in throat and nose that is the cilia working hard to
clean out the garbage in the air I’m breathing. I’m far more inclined to
cough or sneeze then I ever was as a smoker.)
The sensations you’re feeling in your back, shoulders, and neck sound
like lots of muscle tension. Might be worth a session or two with a massage
therapist? Knotted or kinked muscles don’t always ‘go away’ on their own.
They can lead to things like reduced mobility and splitting headaches.
And you’re absolutely correct, we don’t have to respond to any of those
with a cigarette. The only reason a cigarette was ever connected to any of
that is because a cig was our universal response to any discomfort. Well
done with those sensations Indi. Watch for others like hunger and fatigue.
Nicotine is a stimulant. It’s like a neural lubricant allowing our thoughts
to ‘flow faster and easier’. DO NOT confuse this with thinking ‘better’ or
more ‘creatively’. Nicotine does not improve these. It only facilitates
thinking a bit more than our normally produced ‘lubricant’. As soon as the
nicotine ‘lubricant’ starts getting used up, we begin to feel a bit
sluggish mentally. The moment we inhale a drag or two off a cig, we ‘think
better’ giving the illusion that a cig ‘helps us’. That belief/perception
is a bit different than the reality which is that a cigarette only relieves
the mental fog that it caused in the first place.
Char,
you wrote: “… When moving from one activity to the next, I always get that
missing something feeling. While watching television every time an ad comes
on. The only times I feel really free of this is while power walking or
working out at the gym.”
It looks like you’re validating a belief of mine which is that we often
smoked in response to ‘change’. Changes from one chore to another, in
routine, in thought, in physical position, any and all change was a
‘reason/cue’ to reach for a smoke. Same with the ads on TV, they are a
change in train of thought or presentation of material. TV also ties in
with boredom and physical inactivity as triggers. That the only times you
aren’t aware of a low grade moderate crave is when you’re engaged in
strenuous physical activity is an indication that the best way for you to
keep on top of the quit while you work at getting ‘cognitive handle’ on it
is stay proactive, both in thought and in action.
Marde
for you too. How many more one meal a day quitters have we got here?
Why are you folks making your quit harder than it needs to be?? Trying
to function without the necessary fuel for our bodies only creates
tremendous additional stress. Thinking is more difficult. Getting out of a
chair is more difficult. If ‘difficult’ is usually perceived as a
discomfort and ‘discomfort’ has always been a trigger, then start eating
properly and stop creating unnecessary triggers.
Speaking of eating properly, at last count, most of this list is female.
Some of you are mothers (in the maternal sense). Did any of you moms ever
feed your kids only one meal a day? Would you even let them get away with
one meal a day? So why are you ding this to yourselves? What kind of moms
are you?? (did I play that guilt card correctly?)
Now I’ll be backing quickly toward the door,
steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
March 2nd, 2003 at 9:40 pm
Steve,
You’re right I did smoke very often in response to any change. How do I use
cognitive ideas in response to this? I can’t think of a “correct” response.
I also must confess I am one of the “one meal a day women”. I know it’s not
healthy and have started using the American Diabetes 1500 calorie a day
diet. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has been living on the
one meal plan though.<G
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to try to help me.
Char
Char,
you wrote: “… When moving from one activity to the next, I always get
that
missing something feeling. While watching television every time an ad
comes
on. The only times I feel really free of this is while power walking or
working out at the gym.”
It looks like you’re validating a belief of mine which is that we often
smoked in response to ‘change’. Changes from one chore to another, in
routine, in thought, in physical position, any and all change was a
‘reason/cue’ to reach for a smoke. Same with the ads on TV, they are a
change in train of thought or presentation of material. TV also ties in
with boredom and physical inactivity as triggers. That the only times you
aren’t aware of a low grade moderate crave is when you’re engaged in
strenuous physical activity is an indication that the best way for you to
keep on top of the quit while you work at getting ‘cognitive handle’ on it
is stay proactive, both in thought and in action.
March 3rd, 2003 at 10:25 am
One meal a day??? Are you kidding. Not me, buddy. Actually,
I’m concentrating on cutting back to one serving per meal per
day. I need to take a lesson from my youngest daughter, eat
slowly and stop when you’re full. One more thing I’ve learned, -
when I eat sensibly - healthy meals, not overeating - I feel
satisfied after I’m done eating and it’s easier to resist that
after-meal smoke urge. Just an overall more comfortable with
myself feeling. Does this make sense?
Oh, yeah, here’s something a friend of mine told me, maybe
someone knows whether it’s fact or not - he told me that red
meat is a trigger for wanting to smoke - ? Anyone know anything
about that? (sigh) another reason to not eat steak, it’s a travisty.
Cat
March 3rd, 2003 at 12:14 pm
Here, here!!! I could never survive on one meal a day, smoking or
not. That is punishment!!!!!
Lynne