Busy Weekend but still smoke free
Hi All
It seems to have been a successful weekend all round and we all seem to be
making progress.
My weekend was wonderful - I think the baby was stuck to me with velcro -
which was really hard to unfasten when it was time for me to leave. I cried
buckets and am still very tearful and the thoughts of smoking were really
intense.
There were lots of ‘first’ for me this weekend but I dealt with them
cognitively and they passed. I’m just so glad that I found this group and
this way of dealing with quitting otherwise I would be right back to being a
smoker now cos there is no way I could have dealt with all this discomfort if
I’d been trying to quit my old way.
On the way down (its a 5 hour drive) it was my first really long journey
without a cig. Normally I smoke very sparingly in my hubby’s car and its
always with the window open and not very enjoyable so I am always looking
forward to my ‘cig stop’ and will smoke one on way to toilet, one with coffee
and one on way back to car.
I had worked out that I would deep breath and talk to myself while I was in
the car when I felt as if I wanted to smoke.
My cig stop would become a coffee stop and some stretches with a little jog
around the grass with my dog (instead of puffing away waiting for her to do a
wee).
I had asked for a non-smoking room in the motel and when we arrived had to
pass through the downstairs foyer (which is where the smoking rooms are) and
I could even smell the stench in the corridor!!!!!
It was strange in the hotel room cos normally it would have been a coffee and
cig before bed - but instead it was a glass of water and some more deep
breathing then bed.
On the Saturday there was so much emotion flying around from me being worried
about my daughter who had been taken ill to having to organise all the food
for this party (which wasn’t planned for me to do), to the actual party and
most of the people I wanted to be with being smokers and on and on.
I had got myself some nice peppermint chewing gum so every time I went in the
kitchen (where everyone was smoking with the door open - I popped a chewy
which was my alternative to smoking. I kept telling myself how much I wanted
to be a non-smoker and how no matter what I couldn’t find any reason to smoke.
I had lots and lots of my hermy telling me it would be ok but listened to
what Steve had told me and put it all into practice. One thing I used a lot
was a mental image of a guy I had seen in the street smoking on Friday. (He
had a cig burning in his mouth with about a third of it burned down just
turned into ash and I looked at him, thought how ridiculous he looked and
really laughed out loud. )
I also kept telling myself how lucky I was not to have to stand in the
kitchen all night and was able to go into any room at any time and not worry.
Got through and then on Sunday built on this experience when we all had
farewell dinner at my eldest daughters. She doesn’t smoke and her house is a
non-smoking house so to smoke its definately outside with the door shut.
I had been into town with my granddaughter and when I returned my son and
other daughter and their families had arrived. Three of them smoke and I
could smell the stale smell of cig smoke as soon as I walked through the
front door!!!!!
I wasn’t too bad until just before I was due to leave when I was cuddling the
baby and the tears just welled up - my first thought was to put the baby down
and go for a smoke!!!!
But it was just that a thought and I was able to tell myself - that was in
the past but not now. Then the more distressed/uncomfortable I became the
stronger the feelings were but again I used the tools in my box and the
experiences I have gained so far to deal with them.
Today hasn’t been too bad but I had one particularly stressful period at work
so I decided that a break was in order and a coffee and I wasn’t doing
anything else until I had it.
Someone asked me to do something and I said no not until I have had my ‘fag’
break!!!
Now I hadn’t been thinking that I had an urge - so was that a freudian slip
or what - anyway I just quickly told myself and him that I meant a coffee
break cos I didn’t do ‘fags’ anymore.
Got to tell you it was funny on Saturday night cos all of the smokers ran out
of cigs - only had a couple and a little bit of rolling tobacco left between
them all - this was about 10 p.m. so three of them went off around the
village looking for a shop that was open!!!! My hubby said - bet you are
feeling really smug that its no longer you and guess what I certainly was.
Got a phone call from my friend (who I got into hospital on Thursday) at
7.30am waking me up - asking me if I would visit him this afternoon and bring
him two packs of cigs!!!!!!!
If it had been anyone else I would have really been angry that someone had
woke me up to ask me that (especially in these early days of my quit).
Anyway I have rambled on a lot and haven’t got a clue if I’ve made any sense
at all but I don’t really care I am just happy to be going to bed (early for
a change) a very happy non-smoker.
So all you new non-smokers (well newer than me anyway) and all you striving
to be non-smokers take heart. Listen to Steve, Pat and Pam cos they are
soooooo right it really does get better and easier.
Namaste
Indi