Comments on: (no subject) http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 18:30:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3315 Neva Marjory Sun, 13 May 2007 08:07:29 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3315 I need help!!! I forget how to get into the chatroom. i need to talk with you steve if you are available Nancy I need help!!!
I forget how to get into the chatroom.
i need to talk with you steve if you are available
Nancy

]]> By: refugio9 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3268 refugio9 Mon, 16 Apr 2007 16:02:41 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3268 Hello! I am 4 days in to NOT smoking!!!! REally need some support and am very relieved to have found this site.....please, write w/anything that you can..... thank you so much Janet -- "I am an artist....I am here to live OUTLOUD!" -emile zola Hello!
I am 4 days in to NOT smoking!!!! REally need some support and am very relieved
to have found this site…..please, write w/anything that you can…..
thank you so much
Janet
–
“I am an artist….I am here to live OUTLOUD!”
-emile zola

]]> By: Raleigh Missy http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3261 Raleigh Missy Tue, 10 Apr 2007 10:09:46 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-3261 Hi Rita, Congrats on your 79 days. I believe that smoking is mostly about body cues. Some physical sensation, or set of sensations, is interpreted as 'treatable' with a cigarette. That interpretation is based on the reality that 1- in the past we used a cigarette every time those, or similar, sensations were present and 2- a cigarette produced a change that was not experienced as 'uncomfortable'. Repeat that often enough and you've got the makings of o really well established habit... a bit like our smoking ;) Our associations between body cues and smoking usually happened automatically, or, at the very least, without our conscious involvement. That's why too many quitters find themselves struggling with themselves (or the nicodemon if you buy into quitnet's foolishness) long after they're nicotine free. I think that your question re: the ease of your success is at the center of almost every quitters concern for the future. It was <!--more--> certainly the most important issue for me when I quit. The reason it was so important to me is because I have absolutely no will power and I'm the laziest piece of work you'll ever meet. If I was going to have to 'struggle' to remain smoke free, I knew I'd be back to smoking in short order. As it turned out, this was a very different quit and the Cognitivequitting program as evolved out of that different quit. I've been looking through some of my posts from about 10 yeas ago. Here's one that questions this issue of struggling with ourselves. At the time, I thought the problem lay with emotion vs intellect. I've since realized it's the physical aspect of emotion that provides the cues that trigger the smoking association. The other thing to keep in mind is that I was at day 5 of a cold turkey quit, I was irritable and cranky, and more than a little 'pushy'. So if the tone is a bit offensive, hey... I'd just quit. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. :) Here it is: Subject: Mona's Story (or Ambushed by a Butt) Date: 1996/03/20 newsgroups: alt.support.stop-smoking Hi there Daredevils and Friends, Monday nite Mona was ambushed by a butt. Innocently and unsuspectingly, she put her hand in the pocket of a coat she hadn't worn since quit day, and there, laying in wait, was THE BUTT. It leapt into her hand and summoned its master the cig devil, who then took her hostage. For the next hour the drama was played out..., Mona(terrified)- "I don't want to smoke it" Devil(sweetly)- "Of course you do." Mona(resolute)- "I've quit, I'm not a smoker." Devil(logicaly)- "But this one's a freebie. You didn't go looking for it." Mona(wavering)- "I should throw it out." Devil(calmly)- "Once you've smoked it, it'll be gone. Same thing." Mona(pleading)- "But I don't want to start over again." Devil(smoothly)- "It's only one butt, it can't hurt." .... and so it went, back and forth, until Mona's hubby returned home, destroyed the butt, and saved Mona's. This time. What if he hadn't returned when he did? This raises an important question. "What will happen 6 months or a year from now when Mona is again, unexpectedly confronted by a butt?" (And before we look at this any further, every place where you see Mona's name, replace it with YOUR OWN NAME because that's who this is about. You and me.) Look at the absurdity and inevitability of this situation. If now, when the pain of initial withdrawal is still fresh in our minds, it's so hard to hold out, what can we expect in the future when confronted by a "butt"? What argument can grow stronger with time? What weapon can we use to put the cig devil in his place? First I believe that we need to get something clarified. There is no Santa Claus, no Easter bunny, no tooth fairy, and NO CIG DEVIL!! Continuing to personify the voice of our emotions is dangerous as it diverts our attention from where the conflict lays. In a recent post to ass-s, Laura Bryannan raised questions regarding the psychological side of cig addiction. Having never inhaled, her physiological dependance was probably minimal. Yet quitting, for Laura, is as difficult as it is for everyone else. She shares the same concerns for the future that we all have. "How will I deal with that urge when it comes? Will I stumble and become a smoker once again?" Could it be our emotions that trip us and start us smoking again? The voices, the dialogue, that we "hear" are not between ourselves and some evil little troll. The dialogue is rather within ourselves, between our emotions and our intellect. The old head and heart duet. The point I'm trying to make is that weaning ourselves from nic isn't even half the battle. Granted, it's a hellish 3-5 days. But it passes and once gone, has never provided a strong reason not to start smoking again. We have to discover what it is that we are not addressing, on an emotional level, that can trip us up so long after we've stopped. I think this concerns the quality of the quit. Constant vigilance against "the butt" involves an unacceptable degree of risk. Hanging tough and hanging on are not viable long term options. Lets put our heads together and see if we can't find a more "secure" perspective. I would like to see a discussion along these lines. I believe that we have the answers. We just have to find them. DDSteve(5 days) Rita, lots of people find their way here after they've been quit for a while. If you do some of the exercises, you can create what cogquitters call a comfortable quit, no more internal struggle. Hope you'll stick around and work the program. If you have any questions or need any help, let me know. Steve Hi Rita,
Congrats on your 79 days.
I believe that smoking is mostly about body cues. Some physical sensation,
or set of sensations, is interpreted as ‘treatable’ with a cigarette. That
interpretation is based on the reality that 1- in the past we used a
cigarette every time those, or similar, sensations were present and 2- a
cigarette produced a change that was not experienced as ‘uncomfortable’.
Repeat that often enough and you’ve got the makings of o really well
established habit… a bit like our smoking ;) Our associations between body cues and smoking usually happened
automatically, or, at the very least, without our conscious involvement.
That’s why too many quitters find themselves struggling with themselves (or
the nicodemon if you buy into quitnet’s foolishness) long after they’re
nicotine free. I think that your question re: the ease of your success is
at the center of almost every quitters concern for the future. It was

certainly the most important issue for me when I quit. The reason it was so
important to me is because I have absolutely no will power and I’m the
laziest piece of work you’ll ever meet. If I was going to have to
’struggle’ to remain smoke free, I knew I’d be back to smoking in short
order. As it turned out, this was a very different quit and the
Cognitivequitting program as evolved out of that different quit.
I’ve been looking through some of my posts from about 10 yeas ago. Here’s
one that questions this issue of struggling with ourselves. At the time, I
thought the problem lay with emotion vs intellect. I’ve since realized it’s
the physical aspect of emotion that provides the cues that trigger the
smoking association. The other thing to keep in mind is that I was at day 5
of a cold turkey quit, I was irritable and cranky, and more than a little
‘pushy’. So if the tone is a bit offensive, hey… I’d just quit. That’s
my excuse and I’m sticking to it. :) Here it is:
Subject: Mona’s Story (or Ambushed by a Butt)
Date: 1996/03/20
newsgroups: alt.support.stop-smoking
Hi there Daredevils and Friends,
Monday nite Mona was ambushed by a butt. Innocently and
unsuspectingly, she put her hand in the pocket of a coat she hadn’t worn
since quit day, and there, laying in wait, was THE BUTT. It leapt into her
hand and summoned its master the cig devil, who then took her hostage. For
the next hour the drama was played out…,
Mona(terrified)- “I don’t want to smoke it”
Devil(sweetly)- “Of course you do.”
Mona(resolute)- “I’ve quit, I’m not a smoker.”
Devil(logicaly)- “But this one’s a freebie. You didn’t
go looking for it.”
Mona(wavering)- “I should throw it out.”
Devil(calmly)- “Once you’ve smoked it, it’ll be gone.
Same thing.”
Mona(pleading)- “But I don’t want to start over again.”
Devil(smoothly)- “It’s only one butt, it can’t hurt.”
…. and so it went, back and forth, until Mona’s hubby returned
home, destroyed the butt, and saved Mona’s. This time. What if he hadn’t
returned when he did?
This raises an important question. “What will happen 6 months or a year
from now when Mona is again, unexpectedly confronted by a butt?” (And
before we look at this any further, every place where you see Mona’s name,
replace it with YOUR OWN NAME because that’s who this is about. You and
me.) Look at the absurdity and inevitability of this situation. If now,
when the pain of initial withdrawal is still fresh in our minds, it’s so
hard to hold out, what can we expect in the future when confronted by a
“butt”? What argument can grow stronger with time? What weapon can we use
to put the cig devil in his place?
First I believe that we need to get something clarified. There is no
Santa Claus, no Easter bunny, no tooth fairy, and NO CIG DEVIL!! Continuing
to personify the voice of our emotions is dangerous as it diverts our
attention from where the conflict lays. In a recent post to ass-s, Laura
Bryannan raised questions regarding the psychological side of cig
addiction. Having never inhaled, her physiological dependance was probably
minimal. Yet quitting, for Laura, is as difficult as it is for everyone
else. She shares the same concerns for the future that we all have. “How
will I deal with that urge when it comes? Will I stumble and become a
smoker once again?”
Could it be our emotions that trip us and start us smoking again? The
voices, the dialogue, that we “hear” are not between ourselves and some
evil little troll. The dialogue is rather within ourselves, between our
emotions and our intellect. The old head and heart duet.
The point I’m trying to make is that weaning ourselves from nic isn’t
even half the battle. Granted, it’s a hellish 3-5 days. But it passes and
once gone, has never provided a strong reason not to start smoking again.
We have to discover what it is that we are not addressing, on an emotional
level, that can trip us up so long after we’ve stopped. I think this
concerns the quality of the quit. Constant vigilance against “the butt”
involves an unacceptable degree of risk. Hanging tough and hanging on are
not viable long term options. Lets put our heads together and see if we
can’t find a more “secure” perspective. I would like to see a discussion
along these lines.
I believe that we have the answers. We just have to find them.
DDSteve(5 days)
Rita, lots of people find their way here after they’ve been quit for a
while. If you do some of the exercises, you can create what cogquitters
call a comfortable quit, no more internal struggle.
Hope you’ll stick around and work the program. If you have any questions or
need any help, let me know.
Steve

]]> By: Ines Zola http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2993 Ines Zola Tue, 14 Nov 2006 17:21:49 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2993 hello im an ex smoker now for 2 days. im looking for advice and ways to deal with my quit. so if your out there let me know hello im an ex smoker now for 2 days. im looking for
advice and ways to deal with my quit. so if your out
there let me know

]]> By: Joanne Kaley http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2841 Joanne Kaley Wed, 30 Aug 2006 21:41:27 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2841 I too have a spouse who smokes. I have now been stopped for 18 days, and using my ABC's This is the first quit, where I can say that I don't feel any urge to join my other half in having a cigarette. My last quit, he went outside (his decision) so that I would not be tempted by the smell of his cigarette. I always thought that the smell of stale smoke when he came back into the house was awful. This time, he smokes in the spare room with the window open, but I can still smell it. The difference this time is, I am not tempted by the smell, just the opposite. I find it quite horrid, and I am glad that I am not having a cigarette with him. He says he wants to stop, and I am sure he will when he is ready, and when that time comes, I am certainly going to steer him in the direction of cognitive quitting, as it really works. Linda I too have a spouse who smokes.
I have now been stopped for 18 days, and using my ABC’s
This is the first quit, where I can say that I don’t feel any urge
to join my other half in having a cigarette.
My last quit, he went outside (his decision) so that I would not be
tempted by the smell of his cigarette. I always thought that the
smell of stale smoke when he came back into the house was awful.
This time, he smokes in the spare room with the window open, but I
can still smell it. The difference this time is, I am not tempted
by the smell, just the opposite. I find it quite horrid, and I
am glad that I am not having a cigarette with him.
He says he wants to stop, and I am sure he will when he is ready,
and when that time comes, I am certainly going to steer him in the
direction of cognitive quitting, as it really works.
Linda

]]> By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2840 Neva Marjory Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:24:09 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2840 Well, as the second quitter in my team, I can sympathize with both you and your husband. I was asked to be respectful of his quit...don't smoke in his car, and neither of us ever smoked in the house...so I might, if I were you, ask the same. On the "positive side" you can always look at him, sniff the air and say (perhaps to yourself!) "whew, I'm glad I don't do THAT anymore!" which is what i said to myself as I drove along today watching smokers flick their ashes out of car windows and imagining what the inside of their cars smelled like! Elizabeth Well, as the second quitter in my team, I can sympathize with both
you and your husband.
I was asked to be respectful of his quit…don’t smoke in his car,
and neither of us ever smoked in the house…so I might, if I were
you, ask the same.
On the “positive side” you can always look at him, sniff the air and
say (perhaps to yourself!) “whew, I’m glad I don’t do THAT anymore!”
which is what i said to myself as I drove along today watching
smokers flick their ashes out of car windows and imagining what the
inside of their cars smelled like!
Elizabeth

]]> By: Kelvin Janessa http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2839 Kelvin Janessa Tue, 29 Aug 2006 20:47:35 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2839 Hi David, I read that and started chuckling. David, I've got to ask.... are you married or in a long term relationship? I've been married (a couple of times) and in a few long term relationships and I've got to admit in all honesty that if I'd ever voiced the sort of demands you're suggesting, there would have been all sorts of airborne objects and they'd all have been headed my way. I know for sure, given the women I've always been involved with, that if I'd ever said "the substance or me" :)) the answer would have been long, loud, angry, and have ended with "don't let the door hit you on your way out". This is my several cents worth re: smoking spouses (cigarette smoking not incinerated) .... good relationships work with compromise, respect, caring. Ultimatums tend to create barriers that become insurmountable and undermine everything. If you have a smoking spouse, then by all means communicate. But communicate in a manner that allows for further discussion. That way, everyone wins. Steve Hi David,
I read that and started chuckling. David, I’ve got to ask…. are you married or in a long term relationship?
I’ve been married (a couple of times) and in a few long term relationships and I’ve got to admit in all honesty that if I’d ever voiced the sort of demands you’re suggesting, there would have been all sorts of airborne objects and they’d all have been headed my way. I know for sure, given the women I’ve always been involved with, that if I’d ever said “the substance or me” :)) the answer would have been long, loud, angry, and have ended with “don’t let the door hit you on your way out”.
This is my several cents worth re: smoking spouses (cigarette smoking not incinerated) …. good relationships work with compromise, respect, caring. Ultimatums tend to create barriers that become insurmountable and undermine everything. If you have a smoking spouse, then by all means communicate. But communicate in a manner that allows for further discussion. That way, everyone wins.
Steve

]]> By: Barry Oneal http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2838 Barry Oneal Tue, 29 Aug 2006 12:10:06 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2838 Hi Sheila Yes I have a hubby who smokes and I quit in early November. Your question made me stop to think. How do I deal with it? I think I have wiped it from my mind... I don't even think about it now, other than to wrinkle my nose up when he walks into my office smelling of smoke! I don't even notice him smoking most of the time. Very strange.... I quit once before for three years and then I noticed everyone smoking. In fact I enjoyed being with smokers so I could breath in the smoke.... This time, using cog quit methods, it's completely different. I do not enjoy being with smokers, I don't like the smell of smoke and I certainly don't think of having one when I do notice Adrian lighting up. In fact I just look at him and think how odd it is..... and how out of touch with his body he is..... I think the turning point came for me quite early on in my quit. At first euphoria carried me past Adrian's cigarettes. Then I had to take him to the station one morning.. and I recognised this clearly as a smoking situation...not only the car but also being with Adrian in the car because we would always have a cigarette on the way to the station. So Steve helped me work on an ABC for this.... and it was like a eureka moment for me...to actually to be able to say (something like) "well I'm not smoking any more and my car is now a smoke free zone", (we did rehearse all sorts of alternatives as I was finding this really difficult to do)....and for Adrian to say fine. (In the past I wouldn't have said anything and Adrian would have smoked). And we went to the station amicably in my now smoke free car. For some reason this was a huge leap for me.. almost like I was setting my stall out as a non smoker and there was from this point on, no turning back, and no longing for his cigarettes at all. carol Just wondering how all you quitters dealt with a spouse who was smoking at the same time. Cigarettes always within reach...thought always there because you had to watch them smoke every time they wanted. <!--more--> thanks sheila * . Hi Sheila

Yes I have a hubby who smokes and I quit in early November.

Your question made me stop to think. How do I deal with it? I think I have wiped it from my mind… I don’t even think about it now, other than to wrinkle my nose up when he walks into my office smelling of smoke! I don’t even notice him smoking most of the time. Very strange….

I quit once before for three years and then I noticed everyone smoking. In fact I enjoyed being with smokers so I could breath in the smoke…. This time, using cog quit methods, it’s completely different. I do not enjoy being with smokers, I don’t like the smell of smoke and I certainly don’t think of having one when I do notice Adrian lighting up. In fact I just look at him and think how odd it is….. and how out of touch with his body he is…..

I think the turning point came for me quite early on in my quit. At first euphoria carried me past Adrian’s cigarettes. Then I had to take him to the station one morning.. and I recognised this clearly as a smoking situation…not only the car but also being with Adrian in the car because we would always have a cigarette on the way to the station. So Steve helped me work on an ABC for this…. and it was like a eureka moment for me…to actually to be able to say (something like) “well I’m not smoking any more and my car is now a smoke free zone”, (we did rehearse all sorts of alternatives as I was finding this really difficult to do)….and for Adrian to say fine. (In the past I wouldn’t have said anything and Adrian would have smoked). And we went to the station amicably in my now smoke free car. For some reason this was a huge leap for me.. almost like I was setting my stall out as a non smoker and there was from this point on, no turning back, and no longing for his
cigarettes at all.

carol

Just wondering how all you quitters dealt with a spouse who was smoking at the same time. Cigarettes always within reach…thought always there because you had to watch them smoke every time they wanted.


thanks

sheila
* .

]]> By: elden_9 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2836 elden_9 Tue, 29 Aug 2006 00:31:46 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2836 Just wondering how all you quitters dealt with a spouse who was smoking at the same time. Cigarettes always within reach...thought always there because you had to watch them smoke every time they wanted. thanks sheila Just wondering how all you quitters dealt with a spouse who was smoking at the same time. Cigarettes always within reach…thought always there because you had to watch them smoke every time they wanted.

thanks

sheila

]]> By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2648 Neva Marjory Wed, 10 May 2006 18:42:30 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/03/28/no-subject/#comment-2648 Hello everyone! I just wanted to update you all on my progress...yesterday marked my 3 month anniversary for the quit, and it feels very secure and right. Cognitive exersizes stood me in good stead for each challenge I've faced to date, and will no doubt take me through to the last day. Some of you remember that in my last post I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and depressed, and had plans to go to see both my MD and a counselor. I had my first appointment with the counselor last Wednesday morning, and it was productive. The next day I saw my doctor. We agreed that I will call him if I feel a need for psychotropic drugs to help in my recovery. So far, I am all right without them. In general I feel much better now, and I plan to see my counselor again tomorrow for another hour session. <!--more--> Good luck to all the newbies! This is SO worthwhile, and cognitive quitting is a fantastic way to put your head in control of your impulses. Barbara Hello everyone!
I just wanted to update you all on my progress…yesterday marked my
3 month anniversary for the quit, and it feels very secure and
right. Cognitive exersizes stood me in good stead for each
challenge I’ve faced to date, and will no doubt take me through to
the last day.
Some of you remember that in my last post I was feeling pretty
overwhelmed and depressed, and had plans to go to see both my MD and
a counselor.
I had my first appointment with the counselor last Wednesday
morning, and it was productive. The next day I saw my doctor. We
agreed that I will call him if I feel a need for psychotropic drugs
to help in my recovery. So far, I am all right without them. In
general I feel much better now, and I plan to see my counselor again
tomorrow for another hour session.

Good luck to all the newbies! This is SO worthwhile, and cognitive
quitting is a fantastic way to put your head in control of your
impulses.
Barbara

]]>