Tough Times
Hi All & Happy Thanksgiving to my American Friends
What a day I’ve had, all sorts of stress at work and my hermy working
overtime - cos thats what ‘fixes things’, you deserve it, just think of all
the stress you are under, take a fag break etc etc.
Of course it wasn’t all due to stress at work but today is day I knew I would
have to say goodbye to my son and my beautiful baby g/daughter. This bit
took some thinking about and as a smoker I wouldn’t have given it any
thought, just chain smoked the day away and the same things would have
happened.
Instead I used the higher part of my brain, figured out what was going on,
ate properly, took regular breathing breaks, chatted to Pam (thanks Pam) and
when things didn’t make the urges go away just accepted them in order to gain
all the benefits I have today as a non-smoker.
Even just from the financial point of view if I stay as a non-smoker and keep
putting away my ‘cig’ money it will only take me 6 months to save enough for
a flight to New Zealand (a year if I take DH)
When I got home (having decided not to ring my son but to email him instead -
cos I knew I would get really emotional and didn’t want to upset him) I had a
lovely email from my DIL which made me cry buckets.
Got myself settled and dealt with all the urges (hermy is a bugger when he
wants to be) then the phone rang at 9.30 - guess who - my baby son (he’s 30
by the way). So since then I have cried non-stop - when I put the phone down
the urges were really bad.
But I recognised them for what they were and made my choice, my rational
choice that I am a non-smoker, so smoking is not an option to deal with these
‘feelings’.
The feelings are normal - well they are for me anyway. He is going to the
other end of the world and although I know I will be able to see him (well as
much as any of us know about the future), and probably see him more that when
he is in Dublin (cos I will go visit for more than a weekend won’t I?) it is
still a long way away.
I know about technology and all that jazz so I guess its just a menopausal
mothers reactions (sorry Steve:).
Anyway just as DH gave me a hug I almost said (the words were there but they
didn’t come out) ‘well I’m having a fag then off to bed’!!!!! I very quickly
told myself, silly b…r that was thing to do, now there is another
alternative which is to write to you lot and bore the pants off you - hee hee.
So I’m off to bed now, almost settled down but no doubt the floodgates will
open again when I get into bed - never mind at least I will be going to sleep
both sober and smober and for me thats a miracle.
So thanks for letting me vent - hope you all have a great rest of
thanksgiving day and Pam 2pm Saturday is fine for me in spinchat.
Won’t be online much (if at all) tomorrow as we are taking grandchildren to
see Harry Potter then off to Pizza Hut so that should be good. Only trouble
is eldest grandchild smokes - still I will be grateful that I can watch the
movie through without feeling the ‘wish it would hurry up and end’ syndrome
so I can have a fag.
Nite Nite All
Namaste
Indi
March 30th, 2003 at 9:57 am
Hi Indi
I enjoyed the chat, and glad it helped.
Nite everyone
Pam
(thanks Pam)
March 30th, 2003 at 6:24 pm
Indi,
I’m running back to work but I just had to write and tell you how proud
I am of you. I, too, have a very difficult time when my kids leave. I
am just not good at letting them go and, for heaven’s sake, they are 33
and 35!!! Smile. I keep telling myself how silly these feelings are
but, hey, feelings are feelings and they are meant to be expressed. So,
cry away if you need to. I am VERY glad you wrote, that you reached out
and told us what a difficult time you are having. That’s the absolute
power of this group. There’s always gonna be someone to listen. (Thank
you, Pam, from me too.)
The main reason I wanted to write is to tell you that when I get all
emotional when my kids leave, nowadays, all I think about is grabbing a
tissue and maybe finding something to eat or more likely, I would write
a thank you to them for visiting. When I do that, it helps me to see
them home and planning for our next get-together. The thought of having
a cig never crosses my mind; the new responses are so automatic now.
How grateful I am for that too. So…. just know, you are on the right
track; that soon, these types of emotional upsets will see you doing
other things other than thinking about a cig. Talk about freedom.
I am thinking of you,
Pat
P.S. I took my grandsons to see Harry Potter last weekend…. It was
AWESOME. I can hardly wait for the 2nd one now. England must be very
proud of this author.
March 31st, 2003 at 1:33 am
Pat
Thanks for writing - feel a lot better this morning and hope it won’t be too
long before the tissues become the automatic thought rather than the cig.
Thanks for letting me know about Harry Potter am really looking forward to it.
Gotta go get ready for work - catch u all tomorrow.
Indi
April 1st, 2003 at 3:01 am
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, Jacknindi@a… wrote:
Indi, it’s corny but you’re making lemonade out of lemons here. It
looks to me like everytime you have a negative thought (a trigger),
then you are training yourself to look on the positive side. What a
great tool!!! Gee, if I were a cynical type person, I could use
this tool too, but seeing as I’m perfect, I guess I won’t need it.
Ha!!
- Cat