Hi everyone
You have all been busy!!!! I am still around and reading all the
posts - they are helping me in my preparation. I can identify my
most difficult time being at about 5 pm. So I need to plan ahead to
deal with that.
Lynne
My goodness!!!!!!! I got home today and found 64 messages, most from the group.
Thought I would post after my treadmill stress test I had today. It was not a
pass or fail test, but it measured how my heart was doing after the heart attack
and how much more or less exercising I should be doing. I did 6 minutes at a
steep incline at 3 miles per hour. Now I KNOW I could not have come close to
that before I quit.
Someone posted that quitting was not easy. We either were lying or was not
hooked. I am hear to tell you that #1 this group has done bunches for me even
though I am in month 3 of my quit, and compared to the fact that I only would
have lived 10 more minutes if my hubby had not found me that night, quitting has
not been a hard thing for me. Having a heart attack was hard for me. Knowing I
was dying was hard for me.
I love reading all the posts, but I am like some. I don’t post often, but I
read it all. I passed this site to my tech today to reccommend to all who
really want to change their lives forever. All of you that are struggling,
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Lets see, focusing on emotions:
I will first tackle anger…
A) When I feel angry I immediately feel stressed. I can feel my heart rte
increase and my blood pressure raise.
B) (PAST) I can’t deal with this, I need a smoke
B1) (PRESENT) I can deal with this, what I need to do is;
a)walk away until I am calm then come back to discuss it
b) stop, take three deep breaths,then handle the situation
c) drop everything, rush to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes
C) (PAST) go in the garage away from everyone and have a smoke
C1) PRESENT
I would choose A if I was so angry that I felt I would say things that I
would regret or did not mean.
I would choose B if I feel stressed because of the situation, meaning I can
deal with it, if I can get past my initial irritable response. (I feel like I
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Hi All
Ok - here is my first ever set of planned abc’s - let me have your comments
please. I found it really hard to do it planned and find it much easier to
do it on the run but Steve tells me it is important to have it planned so I’m
trying.
A - Boss will be hyperactive and thinking on the run so will ask me to do all
sorts of different things at different times which will upset my work plan
for the day. I get really stressed out by this and feel ‘churned up’ inside.
B - 1. I could tell him how I feel and ask him to prioritise my workload
2. I could just do what he asks and not worry about it
3 I could do some deep breathing and take a few moments to relax.
4 I could chew a piece of gum
5 I could make a cup of coffee
C - At this point in time my best option is 3 followed by 5.
I wrote in my B list that I could scrounge a cig off the glass fitter and
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Hi All
Was talking to Steve last night and realised that I am doing my abc’s on the
run rather than having them prepared. Oh they are still working but I guess
I am making it harder on myself than I need to.
So I’m going to post some abc’s that I am preparing for my day at work
tomorrow.
Now I know its going to be a stressful day cos one half of the firm has just
landed a really big contract and its going to be really busy. My boss gets
terribly stressed and this has a knock on effect on me and in the past I have
smoked my way through it.
He screams, shouts and swears and thinks on the hoof - I am trying to get
some sort of organisation going and he expects me to do stuff when he thinks
of it.
I can’t work like that I need a plan so will think about my abc’s and have
something prepared rather than doing it in a disorganised way.
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Hi Marde,
First of all, if I don’t do my school work and study for an upcoming
test and then fail the test, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. It only means I
wasn’t prepared. Not studying may have been stupid, but my failing the test
does not mean I’m inherently unable to learn the material. The ‘voice’
that has always ‘told’ us when to smoke weilds great power because it was a
voice of truth. A cigarette, within the context of a smoker’s needs, is a
perfectly valid and accurate response. So if I haven’t addressed an
upcoming event and prepared some alternate statements for my ‘voice’, then
it will continue to speak what has always been truth and I’ll be trying to
‘hang on’. Even the strongest eventually tire of hanging. BTW, when it
comes to losing quits, I hold the record. So take a bit of time and lick
some wounds if you want, and please continue to think cognitively about
what you’re doing.
I’d really rather you didn’t. Keep reading. This stuff takes time to
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Hi Steve
I have had quite a bad week, but really hoping to pick myself up and
have a better one this week.
Lynne
Steve,
I read your post to Kelley and your example of an anger situation
really hit home with me. Situations where I am angry are the hardest
for me. In the past things went pretty much how you described:
A–I am really angry and I need to calm down. If I don’t I wlll say
things I will be sorry for later. B— A smoke will calm me down and
give me time to think this through. C—I want to smoke. Now A of
course is the same. B–is not usually a thought to smoke anymore
although that will happen occasionally. I usually try deep breaths or
removing myself from the situation for a few minutes so my C is
usually getting away for a few minutes. The problem is that my B’s
don’t seem to be very effective because I usually end up opening my
mouth and saying what I know will haunt me later. I don’t know if I
am not giving myself enough time to calm down or if I need to do
something else instead. It almost feels like I am on the same
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Welcome to the group. I am really new here too and am finding great
suggestions and support happening here. You have really been doin
some work tonight! Looking forward to your posts! Terri
1. As an ex-smoker I do want to smoke but I want to stop smoking even more.
Cravings are the only alternative to smoking. It’s a small price to pay for
freedom, better health and peace of mind.
2. Just because I want to smoke, it doesn’t mean I have to. I can choose not to
act on the feeling.
3. I am always free to smoke. If I’m not smoking it’s because I’m choosing not
to, not because I can’t.
4. “I’m choosing to stop” defuses resistance and lets me feel free and strong
about not smoking.
5. I deal with this problem one day at a time. I will decide tomorrow what I
will do tomorrow. I can handle not smoking for this moment and the next five
minutes.
6. I am not someone who can just smoke occasionally. Knowing that it’s unlikely
to be just one puff, or just one cigarette, helps me think twice before lighting
up.
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