ABC’s
Hi All
Was talking to Steve last night and realised that I am doing my abc’s on the
run rather than having them prepared. Oh they are still working but I guess
I am making it harder on myself than I need to.
So I’m going to post some abc’s that I am preparing for my day at work
tomorrow.
Now I know its going to be a stressful day cos one half of the firm has just
landed a really big contract and its going to be really busy. My boss gets
terribly stressed and this has a knock on effect on me and in the past I have
smoked my way through it.
He screams, shouts and swears and thinks on the hoof - I am trying to get
some sort of organisation going and he expects me to do stuff when he thinks
of it.
I can’t work like that I need a plan so will think about my abc’s and have
something prepared rather than doing it in a disorganised way.
Catch u all later off to work on my abc’s
Indi
January 20th, 2004 at 4:01 am
Following is a different kind of ABC but alot of stuff all in one, sorry for the
length….
A. Planning a vacation to Florida. Going to leave on Friday. Still haven’t
scheduled the condo or decided whether we’re driving and flying and it’s 3 days
away. Very stressed. Going to pull the kids from school, feel guilty.
Daughter has a terrible cough and running nose this morning and didn’t sleep
last night. I have a meeting tonite and wish I could be home. DH plans on
bringing both kids to boy scout meeting - daughter sick and tired. Hate feeling
so stressed and anxious.
B. I need to calm down, I couldn’t even sleep last nite. My head needs to be
cleared. I’m on the edge of a very big blow-up with DH in this planning and
need to avoid that confrontation. It’s going to be a very taxing day and the
best way to deal with each and every occurance would be to light up a cig to
calm each and every emotion that feels uncomfortable.
C. When DH leaves this morning I will go to the store (got to buy some coke
anyway) and get some smokes and smoke by brains out.
B1. This trip is going to be a last-minute adventure. I need to make lists and
put all the pieces in perspective. Today is going to be a challenge, I just
need to address each situation with a better attitude. DH is not as productive
or helpful and I would like. I could light up for each struggle today, but that
would only make me feel miserable that I failed my quit and put my on a
rollercoaster of nic addiction.
C1. Today I will change my attitude — what an exciting path my family is
taking. Life can be carefee, unconventional and adventurous even with children.
They are doing excellent in school, haven’t missed any days — I’m the parent,
they can miss a week of school. I’ll make a dr appt for Celena to make sure
she’s ok. I’ll suggest DH stay home from boy scouts tonite so the kids can go
to bed early. Tonite’s meeting will be a good distraction for me, away from the
house. I’ll make lists of today’s activities, lists of ‘things to do’ in the
next coming days, and enjoy watching DH’s excitement regarding this trip. DH
has always been a procrastinater and I have always planned all the details, I
need to remember this. This day does not have to be stressful…. I will take
one activity at a time, take deep breaths, take a nap, sip coffee, take warm
baths, turn on some music to assist me in my mood.
That should do it.
Gail
One month, three days, 9 hours, 8 minutes and 40 seconds. 859 cigarettes not
smoked, saving $141.82. Life saved: 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.
January 21st, 2004 at 1:04 am
In a message dated 05/02/02 13:19:33 GMT Standard Time, todora@…
writes:
You dirty rat you beat me to it:)
Loved your abc - go for it girl you are doing really well - have a great time
- with a bit of luck I should be going off just about time you get back.
Indi
July 6th, 2004 at 9:34 am
Steve’s been talking recently about preparing some ABC’s to help us
Steve
deal with up and coming events. Maybe it’s the prospect of a
difficult meeting at work, or a phone call to relative, or maybe too
much to do in the time available. Whatever the event, the
consequent physical sensations we experience as a result are going
to be pretty similar, and its how we treat those that counts: He
recently suggested to Harper
knows what you feel, but you need to be conscious of what you feel.
Once you’ve determined that, you can easily come up with several
optional and appropriate ways to handle fatigue, too much supper,
and/orboredom, and with those alternate options in hand, you can set
up an ABC
to follow the next time 7PM rolls around
(following on from her concerns about those 7pm feelings)
Doing ABC’s really does pay big dividends: if we can anticipate
what’s likely to happen to us physically following x, y or z event,
we’re going to have some great - and appropriate - strategies in
place to deal with whatever event comes our way, be it minor or
major. We can’t predict all life’s events, but we can pretty well
work out what the physical consequences on us are going to be.
Now, I might well be pretty comfortable in my quit at 15+ months,
but it wasn’t always so. I found it hard getting my poor head round
ABC’s to start with, and frequently got the B’s and C’s mixed up.
Have a look at one that Steve tweaked for me over a year ago, when I
was around 4 weeks quit - and please have a go at writing some out
yourselves and posting them. There are examples of other ppl`s
ABC`s in the Files section :-
Date: Thu Mar 22, 2001 3:27 am
Subject: Re: [cogquitting] ABC’s - number2
Thanks Pam
You did a good job with this situation. You nailed the A- event
perfectly. However, if I may, I’d like to tweek the B1 and C1 just a
bit.
You wrote:
“A - this relative has had a drink problem for some time. It has
recently got a lot worse, and another family member has rung me to
tell me it is
getting out of control. I feel stressed and upset.
B - I cant solve their problems and this is making me more and more
stressed and upset by the minute. The more I turn it over in my mind
theworse it gets. A cigarette is going to help me to concentrate and
calm medown.
C - I want to smoke because it will make me feel better.
This particular ABC was re-written as follows:-
B1 - I’m feeling uncomfortable because I’m concerned about whats
happening
to the family due to this relative’s drink problem. I cant solve
their problems for them, I can only offer practical support. I don’t
smoke now, so this uncomfortable feeling isn’t due to a lowered
nicotine level, If Ismoked a cig now it wouldn’t solve their
problems or my discomfort.
C1 - My discomfort isn’t going to disappear and I’m going to feel
upset about it for some time. Smoking has no logical place here
because it isn’t going to solve anything. Instead I’m going to find
out whether there is a support group for the relatives of alcoholics
who may be able to offer help. I’m also going to practise the
breathing exercises I have learned at my yoga classes which are
great for relieving feelings of stress and making me feel calmer.”
Pam, B and B1 contain all of our inner dialogs, all of
our ‘reasons’, and all of the associations with old and new
responses. C and C1 contain onlythe response(s).
In this case:
B1 - I’m feeling uncomfortable because I’m concerned about whats
happening to the family due to this relative’s drink problem. My
discomfort isn’t going to disappear and I’m likely going to feel
upset about this situation for some time. I don’t smoke now, so this
uncomfortable feeling isn’t due to a lowered nicotine level, If I
smoked a cig now it wouldn’t solve theirproblems or my discomfort
and will only create a new problem for me. I realize I cant solve
their problems for them, I can only offer practical support. Instead
I’m going to find out whether there is asupport group for the
relatives of alcoholics who may be able to
offer help. I’m also going to practise the breathing exercises I
have learned at my yoga classes which are great for relieving
feelings of stress and making me feel calmer.
C1 - I’ll check on outside resources that may be able to offer
information
and direction. I’ll practice my yoga breathing to help myself relax.
Recap…
A- is a simply stated, non judgemental event.
B and B1- are ALL our inner discussion/ beliefs/thoughts.
C and C1- are only the consequent response option(s)
Hope you didn’t mind the ‘rewrite’
www.cognitivequitting.com
December 5th, 2004 at 10:03 pm
Ok Cat said I should post this request for ABC’s. I’ve only done one
other one so am pretty rusty. If anyone would like to jump in with
suggestions, feel free..
I think I’m going to need to do some ABC’s for an event coming
up…namely rain rain rain! I’m afraid if I let it the lack of
exercise will cause me to stop the weight loss, lead to boredom and
depression…soooo
A. Bad weather and lack of daylight during the week can result in a
slip of my resolve to lose weight.
B. I could consider smoking again to keep from gaining back the
weight.
B1 Realizing that smoking never kept my weight down, this is not a
choice I’ll accept. Instead.
I’ll join the City’s fitness program for $27/MO and do my water
aerobics 3 times a week
I’ll choose three times per week to get out and work the
horses. Even if some nights I only brush the mud off of them and
practice on a lead line for 1 hour I’ll do that instead of sit
around.
I have the treadmill I can up a mile or two on
I will check into a lighted area to take my dog for a walk
C. Bottom line is I need to plan and schedule for activities that
will help with the weight reduction and reduce the chances for
boredom. I will concentrate on physical activity this year because it
has a double purpose.
Pretty sloppy ABC’s but how does it sound..any suggestions
December 9th, 2004 at 1:31 am
Dayla thanks for the suggestion! maybe I can keep my eye on some good bargins
in smaller clothes while I’m at it.
December 30th, 2004 at 9:58 am
<Unfortunately, ABCs aren’t about feeling better. They’re about thinking
<and responding differently.
This is so true. It was the one issue I had for the “longest” and felt I
was doing it wrong or something as I felt so badly. It took me at least a
month to realize changing my response/behavior did not necessary mean relief
from the discomfort. This method of quitting is not a quick fix, but one I
truly believe is the ticket to long term success.
<any feeling of an urge to smoke would have dissipated instantly. Did it?
YES!!!! it did, in a instant. Also the “discomfort” diminished by
acknowledging what I was feeling and recognizing this was not going to be a
“forever”.
Karen N.
Memphis, TN
oboegirl@…
May 29th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
Thanks Nyniane and Carmen for sharing those ABC’s - the working out of how we’re
going to deal (the what if’s) with upcoming events (like the outlaws….oops,
inlaws) visiting, or how to deal with just too much to do, give us so much
insight into how we’ve been responding to life’s events previously, and a
framework to choose how we’ll now respond. Regularly planning and carrying out
those ing ABC’s gives us a solid base to work from and respond to events in a
nonsmoking way. I spent the first several weeks (maybe few months) of my quit
regularly working hard on those - being active in a cognitive quit is so
important.
Thanks again - look forward to reading some more!
Pam
August 10th, 2005 at 4:54 pm
A Cleaning windows see ashtray.
B Getting stressed neck sore.
C I want to smoke.
B1 Think of foundation statement.
C1 Repeat till mind off smoking: Smoking is not an option.
A No food from food bank.
B Get stressed neck & back tense up.
C Sure could smoke right now.
B1 Tell self smoking is not an option.
C1 Deep breathe,relax.
August 14th, 2005 at 4:48 am
Hello people
I am 4 1/2 days quit. I had a restful sleep last night,it could of
been longer, and I felt much better when I woke up. I took a long walk
in the cold air last night and I think helped a bunch.
Here are a couple abc’s I used this morning
A I made some coffee
B The coffee taste good, it triggers memories of of I always smoked
with my morning coffee and it always tasted a little bit better. Now
it don’t taste that good.
C I pour the coffee out and make first ice water of the day. The
moment passes.
The water helps me detox, caffine does not
I do not want to be a smoker
A. I need to make phone calls this A.M.
B. I find myself looking around for cigerettes when I reach the phone.
I always smoked while I was on the phone.
C. I take a little walk outside and get a little fresh air.The moment
passes. I go back in and use the phone.
I need the phone, not a cigerette
Hank
January 2nd, 2006 at 6:25 pm
Several of you have been posting some good lists and are starting
work on preparing ABC’s. Those lists were important in helping you
to become more aware of your reasons to smoke (which as you found
were many and varied), emotions and conditions, and the physical
sensations connected to them. With this information, you now have
the raw material to start making ABC’s to deal with the events (the
A’s) that until now have been your reasons to smoke.
Several of you have said that you’ve found it difficult to pinpoint
those physical sensations, and this is how most quitters feel: the
physical sensations can often be very subtle, and as active smokers
they were our cue that it was ‘time’ to light up without us even
being aware of what was happening. What we’re trying to do now is to
intervene in this cycle, to pinpoint what it is we’re feeling and
address it in the appropriate nonsmoking way. In this way we’re
stopping Warren from offering up the old smoking response, the one we
used for years as smokers.
I hope Donna doesn’t mind me quoting a great example (in an email to
me) of a situation she encountered just the other day: whilst
preparing a meal for her family she became aware of an urge to
smoke. She stepped back in that moment and basically did an ABC ‘on
the fly’- she recognised that she was feeling tense, that she used to
smoke in this situation, and that what she in fact needed was to take
a break, have a cup of coffee, and chat to her son. Not suprisingly
the urge to smoke left her - because she’d met her physical needs
appropriately.
Just to recap on how the ABC’s are made:-
A - activating event = a simple, nonjudgmental statement of fact
i.e. “I’m groggy” , “I’m angry”, “I feel like I got a case of
the ‘nonspecific restless crankies’”.
B - belief(s) = the ‘truths’ we attribute to the event, judgments
about the event, ideas as to how to resolve/respond to the event.
C - consequent response = our chosen response based entirely on what
we believe(d) about the event.
Pick an event from your first list (reasons to smoke), identify the
emotions/conditions surrounding that event from your second list, and
then think about what physical sensations were present - and then the
solutions that’ll address them. eg tense muscles will benefit from
some simple stretching. Write out some ABC’s and post them here -
we all benefit from reading them and can often identify with them.
best wishes
Pam