My ABC’s for work tomorrow
Hi All
Ok - here is my first ever set of planned abc’s - let me have your comments
please. I found it really hard to do it planned and find it much easier to
do it on the run but Steve tells me it is important to have it planned so I’m
trying.
A - Boss will be hyperactive and thinking on the run so will ask me to do all
sorts of different things at different times which will upset my work plan
for the day. I get really stressed out by this and feel ‘churned up’ inside.
B - 1. I could tell him how I feel and ask him to prioritise my workload
2. I could just do what he asks and not worry about it
3 I could do some deep breathing and take a few moments to relax.
4 I could chew a piece of gum
5 I could make a cup of coffee
C - At this point in time my best option is 3 followed by 5.
I wrote in my B list that I could scrounge a cig off the glass fitter and
smoke but then deleted it cos its really not an option for me, it has no
appeal at all and I know it will not help my churned up feeling. So why
should I put it as an option.
I guess it is an option cos if thats what I choose to do then thats what I
choose to do but the way I see things the B has to be valid options and the C
the option which is best for me at the present time.
Namaste
Indi
April 25th, 2003 at 8:28 pm
You could always drown your boss in the office toilet
-Frank
and leave his body for the janitorial crew to find.
C’mon! Don’t be shy! You aren’t afraid of a little
karma, are you?
–
A journey of a thousand miles begins with
a single step…
(and ends with a single impalement) “YARK!”
April 26th, 2003 at 4:39 am
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, Jacknindi@a… wrote:
Um, not to be nit picky, ;-), but here goes:
up’ inside.
This is sounds OK to me. Steve?
Smoking is always an option. As Steve said earlier, it may not be an
appropriate option. I really like your options, though, Indi. I
would probably choose 1 myself only without telling him how I feel
because that my involve dumping #5 on his pointed little head.
Good for you, Indi. I’ll bet that tomorrow goes more smoothly for
your “innards” because you took the time to write these ABC’s out in
preparation for a potentially stressful day.
I cannot tell everyone how much my Thanksgiving Prep helped me last
week. I was actually prepared for just about all stress triggers.
And because of that, I refused to let the triggers for which I had
not prepared get to me. I would NOT have made it through last week
without that toolbox.
- Cat
April 26th, 2003 at 7:04 am
Hi folks - a quick wave before I head off to bed.
The ‘what if’ or proactive ABC’s were a lifeline to me early on in my
quit, when ‘thinking on the hoof’ (or fly as you say?) would have
been a disaster. Took some time and work and practice to start with,
and I needed Steve’s help with them, but the thinking does become
automatic I promise you.
I’ve had a couple of ‘first time’ scenarios to deal with in recent
times, and cognitive thinking - my skills for life, as I just
described them to Steve - jumped in automatically in each case: aware
of my beliefs/consequent responses, challenging those beliefs, and
good old Warren quietly sorting out the widgets for me and choosing
appropriate non nicotine responses. (If I made a hash of expressing
that, please correct me;) )
I really must dig out those ABC’s and post them, but right now after
a day wrestling with statistics on my course my brain feels like its
been knitted
nite all
Pam
April 26th, 2003 at 11:37 pm
Indi,
This is going to work just fine. The ‘A’ clearly states the
situation/event. The ‘B’ offers several realistic and effective options
resulting in some ’self evident’ choices for ‘C’.
The advantages of planning for upcoming ‘predictable’ events is two
fold: 1- as soon as the expected event occurs, your prepared dialogs will
be immediately available. and 2- you will be in a ‘detached’ perspective
even before the event occurs. As soon as he starts with his predictable
“hyperactive and thinking on the run so will ask me to do all sorts of
different things” you may hear yourself say, “I knew you were going to do
this.” (may even be a small chuckle in there too)
The boss’s ‘crisis’ will not become yours.
www.cognitivequitting.com
April 27th, 2003 at 8:43 am
This also sets up the habit of thinking on our feet,
doesn’t it? When we get used to thinking in ABCs,
then even when we are confronted with a new and unplanned
situation, instead of “automatically” reaching for a smoke,
we are automatically engaging the ABCs, so in essence,any
cravings at any future date will trigger higher awareness,
right?
-Frank
April 27th, 2003 at 2:06 pm
Frank, to a large extent, this is dead on the mark.
Some thoughts on ’situations’, new, unplanned, and otherwise:
1- It is never the ’situation that is our trigger to smoke.
While we can predict many of the routine situations that make up ‘normal’
day, the number and diversity of situations is infinite and, for the most
part, unpredictable.
2- Situations trigger feelings/sensations. (emotions are included in there,
specifically the physical experience of an emotion)
The number of feelings/sensations generated by all possible situations is
very finite, not more than about a dozen. A while back I suggested that we
make lists of our emotions and conditions. It’s conceivable that with an
ABC for each emotion or condition, we can cover every possible situation.
3- Feelings/sensations are triggers for automatic established dialogs that
always resulted in the desire to light up.
It was always our own beliefs (B) regarding any particular
feeling/sensation that determined our ‘urge’ to light up.
To distill all of that ….
Situations don’t create urges, our own associated thinking results in the
consequent urge.
Frank, you said “…any cravings at any future date will trigger higher
awareness,…”. Absolutely! The only thing I’d add to this is don’t wait
for the future. The future is now. Use any and every urge you experience
now as a cue to engage your higher awareness. Bring every bit of self
knowledge you possess to bear on the moment. What was I doing? What am I
feeling? Don’t restrict your vision to only the past 5 minutes or the past
hr. What’s the day been like? What stresses have you been carrying that are
becoming cumulative? Do be overly concerned if the answers aren’t ‘there’.
What’s critical is not having the answers on hand, those will come in time,
but rather the asking of the questions. Consistently point your
attention toward awareness, and you’ll quickly find yourself becoming more
aware.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
April 30th, 2003 at 1:57 am
Right! So if we change our minds about situations and
Yep. Change our thinking about it and change from the
-Frank
open our eyes to the full range of options, then we are
free to choose from the widest selection, rather than
automatically reaching for the poisonous pacifier.
inside, and the outward symptom of smoking will also
dry up. Like killing a plant by poisoning the roots.
This is definitely a powerful technique, and self-examination always
turns up some surprising things. (If we’re honest with ourselves.)
May 2nd, 2003 at 12:48 am
I can only heartily endorse all that Steve has outlined here :-
A powerful message, and one which has consistently worked for me in
Now for a nice relaxing soak in the bath. See you later
terms of having a ’step back awareness’, whatever physical sensations
I’m experiencing, whatever situation triggered them.
Let me briefly describe today to illustrate this: the course I am on
this week is extremely challenging and daunting, and I have to keep
up with it as it’s crucial I pass it. I am anxious before I set off
on the 45 minute drive, and its a dark, windy day, pouring with rain
and the motorway conditions are atrocious. When I finally get on the
motorway visibility is poor and the traffic is tailed back for miles.
My anxiety levels have trebled - I’m going to be late, miss important
inputs and fall behind.
At this point I automatically became very aware of the physical
sensations I was experiencing - heart rate had increased, breathing
was more shallow and more rapid. In the past I would blindly and
without thinking reached for a cig and smoked it very rapidly - my
established dialogue was that ‘only’ a cig could help me calm down.
My other alternative would have been to phone in ’sick’ and remove
myself from the stresses of getting there,and coping with the work
when I got there.
Automatically I used the techniques I learned through cognitive
quitting to choose appropriate responses, which in my case in that
situation were to do some breathing exercises (learned in yoga
classes), some visualisation (yoga training again), some relaxing
music. I also had a carton of freah fruit juice in the car which I
knew would boost energy levels. The point here is that these were
automatic responses in this situation - no more consciously refuting
those established dialogues that only a cig would make me feel
better.
I got there late, to discover I was one of the first to arrive - many
were still stuck in the traffic. I felt very calm and absolutely no
desire to smoke, even though it was an option on the table if I had
wanted to take it. My head was clear, and I sat quietly gathering my
thoughts instead of dashing outside (into the rain)for a cig.
It took lots of practice to get to this stage in my 9 month quit, to
have this degree of self awareness - but work at it and it does
become automatic, and lighting up will cease to be an option you
choose.
Phew
Pam