Comments on: Holiday Prep or How Cat Is Going to Make It Thru December http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:16:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-450 Neva Marjory Wed, 02 Jul 2003 21:39:38 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-450 Thanks for posting this Steve. Yep, thats exactly what I did mean. Touch of brain fog there, on my part, not expressing it correctly. We talked quite a bit about this a while ago, and I'm glad you've posted it now, as it's given me time to re-read and digest it. Cat's already referred to it in one of her posts too. That revelation, or the clicking of the 'on' switch, is just what happened to me, when I realised just this - that I was now dealing with life differently, and confronting questions I'd avoided before. It wasn't so much about abc's to deal with smoking craves/urges/whatever I thought they were, more about tools to deal with life. And have I used them recently.... This has been very much the case with me recently in a range of situations, including relationships within my family. Previously it <!--more--> was just a case of lighting up and avoiding thinking about anything much at all, just jogging along and not thinking too deeply about what was making me happy or not. Decisions I took recently were painful, but were the right ones. I tried to explain this in an earlier post of mine following on from that chat to Steve, but didn't express it very well. Again, Steve has done it better than I :) And I agree wholeheartedly. When I take decisions now I'm confident in my judgement, and enjoy all that that brings, which certainly means I enjoy life more and gives me the confidence to take some difficult decisions also. OK now I really need to get moving today - it's been quite a day chatting and reading and posting. And why not - it was the right thing to do today. Sound judgement on my part. And isn't it great sometimes just to do what we enjoy and benefits us, instead of what we think we 'should do'. That's what I feel - and I'm sticking to it. See ya :) Pam Thanks for posting this Steve.

Yep, thats exactly what I did mean. Touch of brain fog there, on my
part, not expressing it correctly.
We talked quite a bit about this a while ago, and I’m glad you’ve
posted it now, as it’s given me time to re-read and digest it. Cat’s
already referred to it in one of her posts too. That revelation, or
the clicking of the ‘on’ switch, is just what happened to me, when I
realised just this - that I was now dealing with life differently,
and confronting questions I’d avoided before. It wasn’t so much
about abc’s to deal with smoking craves/urges/whatever I thought they
were, more about tools to deal with life. And have I used them
recently….
This has been very much the case with me recently in a range of
situations, including relationships within my family. Previously it

was just a case of lighting up and avoiding thinking about anything
much at all, just jogging along and not thinking too deeply about
what was making me happy or not. Decisions I took recently were
painful, but were the right ones.
I tried to explain this in an earlier post of mine following on from
that chat to Steve, but didn’t express it very well. Again, Steve has
done it better than I :) And I agree wholeheartedly. When I take
decisions now I’m confident in my judgement, and enjoy all that that
brings, which certainly means I enjoy life more and gives me the
confidence to take some difficult decisions also.
OK now I really need to get moving today - it’s been quite a day
chatting and reading and posting. And why not - it was the right
thing to do today. Sound judgement on my part. And isn’t it great
sometimes just to do what we enjoy and benefits us, instead of what
we think we ’should do’. That’s what I feel - and I’m sticking to it.
See ya :) Pam

]]> By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-444 Neva Marjory Mon, 30 Jun 2003 11:40:21 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-444 :) thanks - slip of the pen - head, brain and pen not synchronised, Pam :) thanks - slip of the pen - head, brain and pen not synchronised,
Pam

]]> By: Raleigh Missy http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-443 Raleigh Missy Mon, 30 Jun 2003 04:32:52 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-443 I think you meant acting on what your 'heart' is telling you? The following is a bit off topic, or not. Some of you are discovering that cognitive quitting is a bit more than just a different way to quit smoking. When we learn to examine patterns that were previously automatic, we gain an insight into ourselves. That insight causes us to form questions about who we are and how we're living our lives. Because we're not 'turning from life' by lighting up, we are confronted by our questions, forced to find answers, and obligated to deal with those answers. Most of my life I listened to my heart, listened to what I 'felt' I wanted or what I 'felt' was right or appropriate. I made many decisions based on what I 'felt in my heart' was right. Decisions based on 'feelings' can be uncertain for the very simple reason that 'feelings' change. Feelings can change within hrs or minutes. They can change from day to day. A decision I made yesterday because I felt 'this way', may not seem like such a good decision if today I feel 'that way'. Depending on how I feel at any <!--more--> particular moment may determine how 'correct' a particular decision appears. In the past, how much of my decisions to quit were based on 'feeling'? "Tonight I feel so burned out. I'm so tired of smoking. I'm going to quit tomorrow!" "I 'feel' strong today. I'm tossing these cigarettes and I'll never smoke again!" Every time these statements were uttered, they were honest and truthful declarations. These were said with conviction. I had every intention of 'doing it this time'. Those intentions were the slipperiest damn things in the world. All it took to set my intentions slip sliding was a shift in how I felt. With such unstable foundations for my decisions, how secure or confident could I be in those decisions? Another consequence of constantly questioning decisions is never being able to completely enjoy a spontaneous moment. There was always the thought in the back of my mind, "Is there a reason I shouldn't be doing this?" Learning to bring cognitive thinking and practices to decision making was a two fold benefit: 1- important decisions became solid and dependable. Yesterday's cognitive decision was valid today and would be just as valid tomorrow and the day after that. That sort of consistancy and stability reduced my general stress levels dramatically. 2- I was able to enjoy spontaneity as I never had before. Because important things were dealt with cognitively, I soon stopped constantly second guessing myself. That freedom was a joy I hadn't expected. Steve www.cognitivequitting.com I think you meant acting on what your ‘heart’ is telling you?
The following is a bit off topic, or not. Some of you are discovering
that cognitive quitting is a bit more than just a different way to quit
smoking. When we learn to examine patterns that were previously automatic,
we gain an insight into ourselves. That insight causes us to form questions
about who we are and how we’re living our lives. Because we’re not ‘turning
from life’ by lighting up, we are confronted by our questions, forced to
find answers, and obligated to deal with those answers.
Most of my life I listened to my heart, listened to what I ‘felt’ I wanted
or what I ‘felt’ was right or appropriate. I made many decisions based on
what I ‘felt in my heart’ was right. Decisions based on ‘feelings’ can be
uncertain for the very simple reason that ‘feelings’ change. Feelings can
change within hrs or minutes. They can change from day to day. A decision I
made yesterday because I felt ‘this way’, may not seem like such a good
decision if today I feel ‘that way’. Depending on how I feel at any

particular moment may determine how ‘correct’ a particular decision
appears.
In the past, how much of my decisions to quit were based on ‘feeling’?
“Tonight I feel so burned out. I’m so tired of smoking. I’m going to quit
tomorrow!”
“I ‘feel’ strong today. I’m tossing these cigarettes and I’ll never smoke
again!”
Every time these statements were uttered, they were honest and truthful
declarations. These were said with conviction. I had every intention of
‘doing it this time’. Those intentions were the slipperiest damn things in
the world. All it took to set my intentions slip sliding was a shift in
how I felt. With such unstable foundations for my decisions, how secure or
confident could I be in those decisions? Another consequence of constantly
questioning decisions is never being able to completely enjoy a spontaneous
moment. There was always the thought in the back of my mind, “Is there a
reason I shouldn’t be doing this?”
Learning to bring cognitive thinking and practices to decision making was a
two fold benefit: 1- important decisions became solid and dependable.
Yesterday’s cognitive decision was valid today and would be just as valid
tomorrow and the day after that. That sort of consistancy and stability
reduced my general stress levels dramatically. 2- I was able to enjoy
spontaneity as I never had before. Because important things were dealt with
cognitively, I soon stopped constantly second guessing myself. That freedom
was a joy I hadn’t expected.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com

]]> By: Raleigh Missy http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-437 Raleigh Missy Fri, 27 Jun 2003 04:03:46 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-437 Wow! Great post Cat I think you've caught the gist of what a 'cognitive' holiday season is about. Some forethought will keep us aware and prepared. Well done Cat Steve www.cognitivequitting.com Wow! Great post Cat
I think you’ve caught the gist of what a ‘cognitive’ holiday season is
about. Some forethought will keep us aware and prepared.
Well done Cat
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com

]]> By: Neva Marjory http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-433 Neva Marjory Wed, 25 Jun 2003 15:41:48 +0000 http://www.smoking.wordpress-by.org/2003/06/25/holiday-prep-or-how-cat-is-going-to-make-it-thru-december/#comment-433 Right on, Cat. I remember the point early on in my quit when I too realised that my smoking really was about responding to life's triggers, and the feeling of amazement I experienced when this realisation dawned on me. Steve and I were only discussing this very thing again last night - that chat gave me even more insight (thanks Steve.) I think that realisation is pretty amazing, and really exciting when it happens, as it has done for you now Cat. I am dealing with a huge chunk of life right now, and making some pretty far reaching decisions. And I'm doing it calmly and rationally and not falling in the old trap of acting on what my head is telling me. I've not become some cold calculating person - far from it -it's about cognitive thinking and making sound decisions that I trust to be the right ones, which make my life vastly better. I'm enjoying life more in many ways because I've far more self awareness and self confidence. And almost 10 months ago I thought it <!--more--> was just about giving up smoking :) I wouldn't have missed this last 10 months for anything - I really mean that. bye for now Pam Right on, Cat. I remember the point early on in my quit when I too
realised that my smoking really was about responding to life’s
triggers, and the feeling of amazement I experienced when this
realisation dawned on me. Steve and I were only discussing this very
thing again last night - that chat gave me even more insight (thanks
Steve.) I think that realisation is pretty amazing, and really
exciting when it happens, as it has done for you now Cat.
I am dealing with a huge chunk of life right now, and making some
pretty far reaching decisions. And I’m doing it calmly and
rationally and not falling in the old trap of acting on what my head
is telling me. I’ve not become some cold calculating person - far
from it -it’s about cognitive thinking and making sound decisions
that I trust to be the right ones, which make my life vastly better.
I’m enjoying life more in many ways because I’ve far more self
awareness and self confidence. And almost 10 months ago I thought it

was just about giving up smoking :) I wouldn’t have missed this last
10 months for anything - I really mean that.
bye for now
Pam

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