Coping…
I wanted to repost a quick understanding (as I understand it) of
depression. This is a simplified version of what Pat and Pam have
posted in the last few months. One of the reasons I’m posting is that
I think it is very important for people to understand what their bodies
are going through when quitting smokes. Another reason is therapy for
me. I wrote this post a few weeks ago and then found myself being
smacked between the eyes with the start of this low feeling, and then
it took me almost three days to recognize it (which actually is good,
most people go much longer, some never realize what’s happening). But,
man oh man, the last few days have been hard.
===========
“Our bodies produce a natural anti-depressant chemical needed for
maintaining emotional balance (the neurotransmitter acetylcholine).
Over time while smoking, nicotine replaces our natural ability to fight
depression as nicotine is a stronger chemical. Once we quit smoking,
most people who experience depression do so while their bodies are in
the process of healing and learning to reproduce the natural chemicals
on their own again. Once that happens, the depression goes away.
“There is the rare case, however, when the body never regains the
ability to reproduce the chemical. If you have just recently quit and
are experiencing depression, remember, this is a natural healing stage
of the quit. Some people find that they would prefer to ‘tough it out’
going cold turkey; others get help to ease the discomfort through aids
such as patches, zyban (an anti-depressant), hynosis, gum, etc. If you
have been quit for a length of time and you are still suffering
depression, go visit your doctor. And if he/she doesn’t believe there
is such a thing as quit depression, go to another doctor. It is a true
diagnosis and there are meds that one can take that will help you while
your body is still trying to heal. Some people will have to be on the
meds for the rest of their life. Which is a much better option than
smoking, folks.”
===========
Anyway, a little less than two weeks ago, I quit zyban completely. I
felt that zyban had been an effective tool in taking off the edge of
quitting. It helped to dull the strong urges, helped to keep my
spirits and energy up, at least more than if I’d not been on it.
Unfortunately, my sleep patterns were erratic (mostly insomnia), I was
a bit hyper at times (leg shaking), and concentration was nil which
made it rough at work. Looking back, I really don’t know if it was
really the zyban that caused these problems because I see now that a
lot of quitters have these same problems whether they choose the cold
turkey route or they’re on zyban, the patch, gum, etc.
Since the beginning of my quit (2M2D) I’ve had strong urges now and
again just like most other quitters. One thing that I’ve noticed the
past few weeks, though, is it that I’ve been thinking more and more
ABOUT the act of smoking. less and less about HAVING a smoke. That
changed around Friday night. All of a sudden, I was sent a curve ball
out of nowhere. I wake up in the morning, I want a smoke, I finish
eating, I want a smoke, I drive, I want a smoke, etc. etc. This was
coupled with sudden weepiness and occasional bouts of bad temper (not
unusual for me but along with everthing else I was experiencing, I
thought I should mention it). I felt a heaviness on my head and chest.
I discovered that I was lonely. A very hard feeling for me to
recognize as I just don’t get lonely very much (even when alone a lot).
Is all of this a result of going off the zyban? I don’t know, but I
have a feeling it has played a large part in what I’m going through.
Fortunately, I recognized the symptoms finally and am trying to take
steps to combat the oppression (a sense of being weighed down in body
or mind). I have made myself get out of the house and go shopping with
my daughter. I called a friend last night who I haven’t talked to in
the last few weeks, went over to her house, we took a walk, praised and
critiqued the holiday lights and decorations. I made myself talk to my
daughter (16) about what I’m going through after a screaming match on
the phone with one another. I made myself get up this morning and
write this post. Writing is therapuetic for me.
Anyway, I guess the gist of this message is to try to always be aware
of what is going on with your body. Recognize the signs and respond
appropriately. Talk to people or post. It helps.
I am also aware that if things don’t get better soon, I will most
probably be making a trip to my doctor and either get back on the zyban
or get counseling. I’m worth the trouble, thank you very much. 
Yours in sanity,
- Cat
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as
you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too
high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.” - Ralph Waldo
Emerson
July 28th, 2003 at 2:17 am
Cat - great post, thanks.
In recent times I have been feeling overwhelmed with whats happening
in my life, and have finally accepted I need professional support -
I’m seeing a Counsellor this week. Friends are happy to listen, yes,
but sometimes a professional ‘ear’ is what’s needed and is more
appropriate, and I realise this now. Friends want to help, but can
feel helpless faced with what they’re being told. Normally I try to
think things through pretty calmly and by myself, and it’s been hard
for me to accept that this time I need some help to do it. I now
believe that a degree of depression is at the heart of me not
dealing well with it at the moment, and I’m tackling that too.
Once I sat down and listed what my worries and concerns were, and
identified what I could deal with myself and which needed
professional support and help I immediately felt so much more
positive.
take care
Pam
July 28th, 2003 at 9:39 am
Cat
Thanks for posting that. And now I’m going to do my ‘please make a call
to your Dr tomorrow’ song and dance. Being aware of the ways in which we’re
being effected is helpful. Being aware of how we’re behaving now that’s
different than how we ‘normally’ behave is self informative. But if we’re
dealing with a physiological condition, waiting to see “if things don’t get
better soon” is almost always a huge mistake. If you are noticing that you
are ‘having trouble’ now, then things are already at the point where that
call to the Dr is overdue.
All of you PLEASE, if you are more than a month nicotine free and
are experiencing difficulty sleeping, more lethargy or sadness than usual,
and/or unreasonable anger put in a call to your Dr and set up an
appointment NOW. Depression is a self perpetuating downward spiral. Most of
us are woefully incapable of judging where we are on that spiral. Too many
are infected with the ‘I should be able to handle this on my own. I’ll
tough it out another day and see if it doesn’t get better” belief. By the
time we finally ‘agree’ that we need help, we’ve waited too long and have a
rough climb back.
Call your Dr. if s/he says to wait a bit and you have confidence in this
Dr, fine. At least your situation is being monitored and if things don’t
improve soon, you’ve already initiated the professional process. If things
do improve without the need for meds, great. Still, you’ve taken
intelligent steps to take care of yourself.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
July 28th, 2003 at 4:54 pm
Hi Cat,
Hows today going? I’d hoped to catch you online at some point to
check in ‘in person’. When I quit, depression hit me pretty hard. Took
Mairead telling me to call the Dr or else. She was right of course that I’d
waited way too long. I hope I didn’t seem too over the top with that last
post. But being in this place where we begin to feel not in control can
take so much out of us. A lot of that expense can be avoided just by making
a phone call.
On a Cognitive Quitting Program sort of note, I wonder if it wouldn’t
be a good idea to suggest that along with foundation statements and lists,
we include a call to our Dr for a consult. Sort of lining up ducks.
Whether depression is a matter of predisposition, quit dynamics, med
reaction, or the joyousness of this holiday lunac.. umm season, the
bottom line is that when we quit we seem to be far more likely to have to
deal with depression.
Speaking of the holiday season, how’s it goin eh? I feel as though the
days are racing toward some climactic Merry Christmas followed by several
days of limbo, one abrupt New Years burp, and it’s back to life, only very
tired like when you get back from vacation and need a couple of days to
recover. And then sometime around the middle of January in this brand new
year, the credit card bills arrive from the end of last year. And then
it’s really back to work. :)) Don’t get me wrong, there will be
lots of laughter and friendship and tears and aggrivation ….. but all in
all it ‘Tis the season to be jolly’ tisn’t it?
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
July 28th, 2003 at 11:12 pm
Cat
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time and I know we spoke about my
experiences of zyban briefly the other night but just wanted to let you know
what I have learned about zyban.
As we all know zyban is an antidepressant which has the side effect of
‘putting people off smoking’…….
In the UK all of the GP’s prescribe zyban for 2 months only and unlike the US
prescription it is prescribed to be taken one a day for a week then one twice
a day for the rest of the time.
Most antidepressants of the zyban family are tapered off slowly but that is
usually after someone has been taking them for a few months so I wouldn’t
imagine that the way you took zyban it would need tapering.
In the same way that I took it I am sure it was ok to stop at once cos I only
took it for less than 3 weeks.
I thought that the feelings I was gettting were cos of side effects of zyban
- now I spoke to a zyban rep who said the ones I reported had never been
reported as side effects by anyone - they were the ones that I described like
major ”panic’ type feelings - not sure if thats what they were cos never had
panic attacks before.
Last year when I took zyban I had the same sorts of feelings and I emailed a
zyban consultant P doctor who told me that the feelings were nothing to do
with zyban. He told me that zyban could cause ‘depression’ or intense anger!.
He also told me that the zyban stays in the body for up to 3 weeks after last
tablet.
Now there have been many reports in UK that zyban works really well but when
you stop taking it the cravings are really intense and so many people have
returned to smoking once they have stopped taking it. There has also been
some research to show that some people benefit from taking zyban for up to a
year once they have quit.
I had a real bad time when I stopped taking it Cat but after 3 weeks it all
cleared up and now I can identify what is what. But I must confess that I
take herbal stuff for depression anyway and took it before I actually quit
-just in case!!!! So it would be well in my system when the zyban stopped.
Now I’m not sure what will happen if I stop taking this herbal stuff but just
now don’t intend to find out cos I’m always a bit low in the winter anyway
and reckon I suffer from a mild form of SAD. And I’ m still in the early
stages of quitting so don’t want to rock the boat.
I, like so many people, think that depression shouldn’t happen to me, cos
really I have nothing to be depressed about - not like some people. Well Cat
that is absolutely crap - depression has nothing to do with strength of
character, or how much or little you have in your life - it is all to do with
chemicals - there are two types of depression
Reactive depression - which is the sort that I guess we quitters get - where
there is always a cause for the depression and the treatment for this type is
usually mild antidepressants for a short period and dealing with the cause
either through counselling or some other means.
Clinical depressian - where there is no root cause and treatment for this is
usually long term use of antidepressants usualy for life - now can anyone
tell me why taking antidepressants bothers us??????
If we had a broken leg and were in pain we would take pain killers
If we had an infection we would take antibiotics
If we had high blood pressure we would take our pills and so on.
But anything to do with MENTAL stuff we think - OH NO - NOT ME - I’VE GOT
MORE STRENGTH THAN THAT!!!!! Come on guys get with it - if we need help
then lets take it. So Cat get off to the docs if thats what you need - don’t
be a martyr.
Sorry about this being so long and ‘hopping’ about all over the place but I’m
trying to dash it off before I get off to work and don’t think my brain is in
gear properly yet.
Have a good day all
Namaste
Indi
July 29th, 2003 at 4:41 am
Cat,
Call your doctor. Just making the initial move to do something about my
problem made me start feeling better. I started an anti-depression med on
Monday and I am feeling slightly better already. It’s hard to take that
first step and admit that you can’t handle this alone. My doctor said this
is not a mental condition it’s physical and we take our medication for it
just as we would for high blood pressure or anything else.
I’ll try to catch up with you on ICQ this evening.
Char