this may help some of us struggling…
I want to smoke and I want to stop smoking.
My conflict about which is more important is the major difficulty in this
process
. Resolving this conflict is my primary goal.
The more I think about my priorities
the more I will reaffirm that
I want to stop smoking.
September 19th, 2003 at 6:03 am
How I resolved this conflict was to change the wording so that it was more
accurate to me. “Quit smoking” wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted
to cease *needing* to have/buy cigarettes to the point of extreme
inconvenience. Unfortunately for me, I’m a physical addict, and I can’t do
this and still smoke at all.
I occasionally want to smoke, but I don’t want to be a slave to cigarettes.
I know I can’t smoke without being a slave to cigarettes. If I have one
cigarette, I know it will start up cravings for another week (I’ve
experimented enough to *know* this.) A few minutes of satisfaction is not
worth a week of cravings - no contest - no cigarette.
September 28th, 2003 at 12:21 am
At 08:08 PM 1/9/02 -0600, Gail wrote:
steve
” …..so extra-bad becuase I couldn’t deal with my frusatration after each
phone call with that ‘down to my toes’ hit.”
We need to continue to take breaks because breaks are an important way
to help maintain productivity. When we quit smoking, most of us quit
taking breaks as well. If we’re lucky, we discover that breaks weren’t
*just* for getting a nic fix but *also* for getting a nic fix and that
even though we’re no longer taking the time to go smoke, we do need that
break time. In the same way, if we used the ‘down to my toes’ cigarette to
calm us in frustrating situations and we no longer have that ‘tool’, then
we need to find other tools to do a similar calming. Otherwise, wouldn’t
we explode from frustration and there would be bits and pieces of bodies
everywere? … mostly bits and pieces of other people’s bodies?
www.cognitivequitting.com
October 1st, 2003 at 2:22 pm
In a message dated 10/01/02 07:24:17 GMT Standard Time,
ddsteve@… writes:
Well Steve I almost had bits of bodies everywhere today - and yes you are
right it would have all been bits of other peoples bodies.
I had a wonderful day yesterday and everything went according to plan - so
didn’t have an major cravings and hardly any thoughts really - I did once
start spiralling out of control and realised that the ‘hole thing’ was there
so it was like an automatic response that I thought - ‘All you have to do is
your best’…………….. Guess that is progress yes:))))
Then when it got to almost the end of my working day I was sooooo pleased
with myself and wanted to reward myself for having a successful day!!!!
So guess what the first thought of rewarding myself was - go home have a
coffee and a fag, sit down and relax!!!!!
But thats all it was - a thought and easily re-thought with - well thats no
good cos I don’t smoke now - BUT - I can still go have a coffee - sit down
and relax.
Anyway it wouldn’t help me relax at all cos it never did in the past and its
only false beliefs that make me think it would be good and so it went on.
This conversation/dialogue in my head wasn’t in any way uncomfortable or
stressful so it passed I went home, had a coffee and relaxed.
There you have it.
Now today has been a different sort of day altogether - it got crazy at work
- got some pretty heavy ‘cravings/feelings’. But each time I was able to
figure out what was going on. Most of them were to do with being tired and
exceedingly busy. Trying to do my job and think for other people too is
really hard. It’s hard running a business where I cannot delegate and hold
people accountable for their mistakes - its hard running a business when the
language is really foreign to me and I don’t understand it and because its so
hard it is draining my energy.
I got one major physical craving where I was actually salivating (which is
something I did in the very beginning of my quit) and was able to abc this
one on the fly.
Its 5.30 and I should be going home, and I’m very tired - physically and
mentally.
1) I can decide to call it a day, go home and come in early in the
morning to get things sorted.
2) I can carry on and work through the feelings cos I know what it is
3) I can smoke (which used to tranquilise this feeling) - NOT AN OPTION
4) I can take 5 - make a list of urgent things to be done, do them and go
home .
I decided to do option 4 - the ‘feelings/cravings’ subsided almost as soon as
I had sorted out what options I had.
So I worked 3 hours over my time - got the essentials done - came home, had
dinner - quick check of emails (too tired to even log on so its all going
automatic aol) and going to bed soon.
Hope to catch up at weekend
Namaste
Indi