Wednesday morning here….
I want to thank everyone for their words of encouragement, and
epsecially for your prayers….
I have not smoked since my crack-up(LOL)on the 14th at work-
yesterday, (the 15th) was a breeze…not sure still quite what
happened on the 14th, but I am still pretty down in the dumps about
it…..:-( It was just really feeling good to be able to HONESTLY
say, “I have not smoked all year”–and now, I cannot say that
anymore……and that hurts…..:-( I made it almost exactly TWO
WEEKS, then I cracked… 
I am probably just feeling sorry for myself here, because I slipped,
and I almost feel like a whiner now, even going on about it……I
really am trying to stay out of the “mindset” of feeling like I “blew
it”–cause if I had truly “blown it”, then I would be back to smoking
again–RIGHT???
I got rid of my SilkMeter, I have been so disgusted with myself…..I
had been so proud of it, and then when I slipped, I just HATED how it
looked when it said, “with the exception of 3 cigarettes that I
smoked, I have not smoked in”–I hated reading that so much that I
just got rid of the whole thing altogether! I miss it, too…..it was helpful to me, to have it going…..I just
hated the thought of having to start ALL OVER WITH IT again….that
is so depressing and frustrating, after all of my hard work the past
two weeks…..THREE CIGARETTES….and I feel so lousy now…..:-(
Well, just wanted everybody to know that I still consider myself a
NON-SMOKER…..I have no plans to go back to smoking…..but I sure
need to do something about that slip on the 14th, and not sure what
yet….but I don’t want for that to happen again!!!
Thanks for listening-love you all. 
Tiko
November 8th, 2003 at 9:16 am
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “tiko_chloie” <tiko_chloie@y…
Think about how you felt when you woke up that morning. Did you know
that it was going to be an especially stressful day? How did you
feel on the way to work? When you got to work? Had the stress
started even before you got to work? When did you start losing
control? In order to work out how not to let this happen again, you
need to realize how you got to the point where you felt you needed
those cigarettes to handle your stress. Then you can start to work
on the disassociation by doing some ABC’s to be prepared for the next
time it happens. Are you doing ABC’s now? Are you doing them at
least a few times a day? This is not something that you do maybe one
or two times a week. Being new in your quit, I’ll bet there’s at
least a few things you can list that are going to happen today that
are going to trigger an urge.
This is part of what Indi means when she says that quitting through
cognitive thinking is simple but not easy. It takes a lot of time -
time well spent in the long run.
I don’t even know how many attempts I’ve made over the years. Don’t
look back, that’s not the direction you’re heading. Just try to
learn as much as you can from this experience and move forward.
You can do it, Tiko.
- Cat