You know the quit is real and permanent when……….
1 - You come home after a heavy week, all the lights in the house
fuse, the burglar alarm trips off
2) - You break a tooth the morning of the day you’re going on a hot
date
3) The dentist agrees to ’sort it’ but is grumpy as a grizzly bear
and jabs the needle into your gum and you hit the roof 2 seconds
later
4) the washing machine floods the kitchen
!!
Honest - didn’t think about lighting up once. Oh, and all those
irritations got fixed/mended, and me smoking wouldn’t have made a
scrap of difference.
More later
Pam
November 26th, 2003 at 7:25 pm
Terry asked
Pam
Much better thanks. I’m glad the anaesthetic wore off and the mouth
was un-numbed - wouldn’t have been too clever if I couldn’t
elegantly sip the wine, or been smiling lopsidedly ….
signing out for the nite in a nauseatingly good mood
November 27th, 2003 at 2:40 am
“wouldn’t have been too clever if I couldn’t
Or feel my goodnight kiss…smaaaaccckkk! Linda, grow up!
Hope your had a great date after your awful day.
November 28th, 2003 at 5:24 pm
Yesterday was good. Mike and I resolved our differences before going to bed
- that we stop every once in a while so GB
- Cat
on Thursday (after the shit hit the fan, or the fork hit the floor at
massive speed). I’m just hoping that he’s coming to see how my daughter
uses us against each other. The problem is that since she’s Daddy’s
Little Girl, she’s been getting away with it for almost 17 years because he
doesn’t recognize it (she’s very good at being subtle about it). It all
started with the result of another bad report card and went downhill from
there. The old “oh, I promise I’ll do better, I’ll get a tutor from school,
I promise, I promise’ bullshit. My stomach’s getting in knots just thinking
about it. Anyway, they hopefully reached a positive plan of action and we
all have an appointment with a ‘real’ tutor on Monday. We’ll see what
happens but, in the meantime, I’m feeling much better and so is everyone
else because we took positive action instread of sitting around all weekend
ready to kill each other.
Mike and I got up early yesterday morning, met up with another couple and
drove to the coast which is about 2.5 hours away from here for a state
motorcyle club meeting. I did a few quick What If’s on the way. They ran
along the line of:
What if GB and Jill want to ride with us to the coast (GB is a heavy smoker)
and GB requests to smoke in the car?
Answer: If Mike says yes, GB could ride with us and could smoke in the car,
I would insist - nicely
could get out and have a smoke.
Result: Mike took care of this immediately as I thought he probably would.
He’s usually adamant about no smoking in the vehicles (althoughhe had his
nose broken in seven places many years ago which left him with a horrible
sense of smell so he really didn’t know that I smoked in our vehicles for
years or chose to ignore it). So GB and Jill ended up taking their vehicle
and following us.
What If smoking is allowed in the meeting and the room gets all smoky?
Answer: If it bothers me in a way that I think that I may be tempted. I
will refocus on the program and the speaker. If this doesn’t work, I will
leave the room, go outside for some fresh air, stretch, breathe in clean
air, chat with the Sgt. at Arms outside.
Result: As it turned out, there were probably about 30 smokers in the room
but I noticed that a lot of them went outside during the meeting to
smoke -
! I’m not sure why since there were ashtrays on the tables. Anyway, the
room was pretty well ventilated and the smoking didn’t really bother me.
I
did mean to ask GB, though, why he had a pack of regular cig and a pack of
menthol in his shirt pocket and he kept alternating - ?
Anyway, just wanted to give a few examples of What If’s. They’re kind
of a
shortened version of ABC’s and Steve got me started on them back when I
first quit and it gave me something to do while in the car and an urge would
hit me.
I’m going to finish going through the posts, write a newsletter for the
motorcyle club, then do a little bit of housecleaning, then grocery
shopping, then maybe football (not soccer) even though my Raiders lost last
night to The Patriots
November 28th, 2003 at 10:10 pm
Good to hear that, Cat. Those unresolved differences can ‘niggle
away’ and end up with either forks hitting their targets, all out
war, and ’stuff this - I’ll smoke’ feelings. And the ‘what ifs’
meant a really good Saturday for you. Well done!
Hope to chat again with you soon,
Pam
December 7th, 2003 at 2:12 am
Hi, Pam……….lurker here……………
So I am almost 23 days smoke-free…………but in truth about 30
quit “cold turkey” new year’s eve……..and still holding……..
learned of “cognitive quit ” a week or two later - and have to admit I
have not
really clued in on this approach………..but watching/listening in
hope that something (anything) might help!!!!!!!!!
I am not asking for anything here……….
Just felt perhaps my experience might somehow help someone - somehow -
sometime………..
I had lots of medical follow-up last summer……..
Dr. suggested signs that I might benefit hugely from quitting
(I am a 68 year old - 50 year smoker - use escalating to close to 2
packs/day in the last year or so)
I was in the middle of several life-style changes - and put off attempt
to quit………….until now…………….
It has been hell!!!!!!!!!! :)))
Picture me - recently moved across the country
So NO support structure……..
and NO routine in place for distraction………….
or people for support…………
But I quit!!!!!!!!!
When one smokes close to 2 packs/day it is hard to isolate the important
moments………….
But I mostly struggle with the first light of day -
any (and I really mean any) stress……..
and with eating……………. LOL
I have not really quit eating since December 31st - since quitting
requires the unmentionable……….LOL (I must have gained approx 1
lb per day!!!!!!!!)
<I will resent none of them however - if this quit works
Most painful and potentially harmful has been the effect on my mental
capabilities…….!!!!!!!
I am unable to concentrate…….
Cannot follow a thought from beginning to resolution…………
Trying to balance my cheque book is almost impossible
<may be impossible in reality, but I will not know for a while!!
Had an impossible week-end……………..could not get on-line at
all!!!!!!!!!
(and desperately needed contact with someone for support)
Tried everything I knew in terms of
troubleshooting………………..one at a time and with great fear
that I might only be making things worse…………..
Gave up eventually - and called tech support……………..”PLEASE
SEND SOMEONE!!!!!!”
And discovered it was the ISP that was having
problems……….!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps illustrative of my state of mind to note that I accepted this
info without blowing my stack…………..
seconds from blowing it!!!!!!!!!!!!
What keeps me from smoking I do not know………….I can smell them,
taste them,
feel them, and want them!!!!!!!!!!!!
But bottom line is my doctor’s warning - that I needed to
quit………………
So “smoke or breathe” has become my motto……………
Jean
Quit date/time 31 Dec.01 - 11:00 p.m.
.
December 12th, 2003 at 5:06 am
Hi Jean
I’m glad you’re not ‘lurking’ any more, and have started
posting in the group.
You said
Have you read up at Steve’s site www.cognitivequitting.com? Had a
look in the Files here on the group’s webpage, especially starting
with ‘Foundation Statements’ and ABC’s? Read up, and come back to
tell us how things are going, let us know if we can help.
Yep - this comes with the territory:) It’s hard to concentrate on
anything much those first few weeks - the good news is that it does
pass.
Hope to hear more from you soon
Pam
December 13th, 2003 at 10:25 am
Thanks for response, Pam………..
I have the greatest admiration for those of you with family obligations
Jean
It would have been helpful I think to have found cognitive quit smoking
“before”
my quit………..and I think perhaps this approach may help to maintain
it……..
but I was a pack and a half per day smoker - my response to EVERY
situation was to reach for a cigarette - and it was only my doctor’s
warning that I may soon be in serious trouble that got my attention
enough to interrupt that behaviour…….
So I just gritted my teeth and quit - and sat here muttering to myself
about a choice between smoking and breathing……….
and I have been sitting here doing that for almost 25 days…………
and/or are working………….
As far as I am concerned “quitting” is a full time occupation……
December 14th, 2003 at 3:05 am
Well, I was a few days into my quit when I found this group. I thought the
same thing but learned that it doesn’t really matter when you quit, as long
as you start thinking about your quit and start disassociating smoking with
your life, you’ll be ok.
It is for a while. I’m starting to learn that it’s not so much anymore.
I’m taking back my life now!
- Cat
December 14th, 2003 at 3:05 pm
Hello again Jean
You said
days…………
I used to be that way, in earlier quits too. I used to try and sit
it out, hang in, and hope it’d go away. This time though, I learned
through Steve that it was about working my quit and taking control.
I learned how to look at my smoking behaviour and why I was reaching
for a cig. I learned to listen to my body and find out what it was I
really needed when I thought only a cig could help. All about
learning how to re-pattern my thinking, so that instead of ‘I feel
angry and tense, and only a cig will make me feel better’ to ‘I feel
angry and tense, and some good deep breaths and a walk in the fresh
air is going to make me feel a lot better and more relaxed’. Ths
truly is my instinctive reaction now in these circumstances, and a
few deep breaths - which are now my automatic response in a tense
situation - make me feel really calm and focussed again.
So Jean, I understand what you’re saying
but lets see how we help you to not only interrupt that behaviour,
but learn how to put new behaviours in place. Next time you come up
against a ‘must have a cig’ feeling, think about how you’re feeling
physically and what is it you’re truly trying to ‘relieve’ - and
what else might help you instead.
Pam