Re:
Thanks Marde,
I’m excited and panicky at the same time. Have been printing out all kinds
of stuff from the group and reading everything a couple of times. It all
makes such good sense! I do feel more prepared than I ever have to quit for
good.
My boyfriend just called to say his transmission froze as he was driving
down the interstate and he had to be towed to a garage and this will take
all the money he had saved for getting his teeth fixed.
Such bad news…………….I immediately reached for a cigarette but found
myself actually noticing what I was doing. I was able to postpone the ‘fix’
for a few minutes. Am going to spend the next few days writing out some
ABC’s and practicing this awareness.
Sheri
- I was put on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now I am so far
behind I will never die.
mailto:sroj@…
December 24th, 2003 at 12:07 am
It may sound reasonable - but it would not be something I could ever do
I think I would even have difficulty asking these same friends that they
I suspect I will gradually become less tolerant if I am able to hold to
as long as I was riding with a group of friends who knew me just 4 weeks
ago when I was smoking as much or more than they were………..
not smoke in “my” car………….knowing how often I had smoked in
theirs!!!!
I think this will sort itself out in time…..
We have always sort of had an unwritten agreement among people I might
“travel” with…..smokers would not light up in a non-smoker’s car - but
non-smokers riding with a smoker had to take their chances (even though
we would try to modify our behaviour)….. the problem being that quite
often we were travelling from Point A (where there was no smoking) to
Point B (where again there was no smoking) - so the car (during a
Canadian winter) - was a smoker’s sanctuary!
this quit -
but I hope I never quite forget just how difficult it can be ………..
Jean
December 24th, 2003 at 7:02 am
Just throwing in my few pence here (I’m British).
As a smoker I never lit up in anyone’s home or car, whether they
were smokers, non-smokers or ex-smokers, unless ‘invited’. Even then
I’d be more likely to go outside or wait for a ‘pit stop’ to have a
smoke.
As an exsmoker I expect the same consideration: I’m not ‘holier
than thou’ since I quit 11 months ago - I just plain dislike the
smell of smoke, and the effect it has on my breathing. I do find
though that my friends who smoke never even raise the subject of
lighting up in my home or car. Work for me is non smoking
environment so it doesn’t arise.
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, Jean <jbrinklw@t…
December 24th, 2003 at 2:24 pm
I don’t think you will become intolerant. Cognitive quitters tend to be
very understanding of those still addicted. We know the smoking habit in a
very in depth way.
www.cognitivequitting.com
January 11th, 2004 at 9:07 am
In a message dated 02/02/02 05:03:07 GMT Standard Time,
jbrinklw@… writes:
Excellent, brilliant - well done - it really does get easier so stick with
it:)))))
Indi
January 22nd, 2004 at 7:13 am
non-smoking - yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
give yourselves as much slack as you can…………..
Jean
January 22nd, 2004 at 1:18 pm
In a message dated 06/02/02 01:46:55 GMT Standard Time, todora@…
writes:
Gail I’m sure you will cos you’ve got cog quit - not so sure about DH though:)
Indi
January 23rd, 2004 at 7:08 pm
Thanks Gail - glad the chat helped
Have a great trip,
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “todora” <todora@p…
Pam reminded me to write some ‘what if’ lists. I’ll need them
while driving in the car with DH and the kids FOR 22 HOURS. What am
I nuts? I’ll be ready for whatever hits me…. and I’ll hit back!
January 24th, 2004 at 8:48 am
Hi All and especially Gail (if I haven’t missed you already) just thought I
would share this with you all. I’ve been having a tough couple of days and
can only think its got something to do with me being in the last week of my 3
months quit.
For some reason the 3’s have been really difficult for me, 3 days was awful,
3 weeks was awful and now week 3 of month 3 is awful but it will soon be over
and then the next 3 will be 3 years so guess I can cope with that.
The one thing I am really grateful for in all of this is that I had cog quit
cos without I know I would have weakened yesterday.
I had a real hard day - got through it - wrote a really long post about it
and lost the post so went on my massage bed and then went to bed. Today
hasn’t been much better but I’ve got through it.
Gail hope you have a wonderful holiday you really deserve it and maybe this
might help - if you get time to print it off.
All habits begin with thoughts, which become beliefs, which
become action. Develop a new non-smoker habit.
As a smoker, you believe you are a smoker. As a non-smoker, you
believe you are a non-smoker. One person can have both beliefs,
but not at the same time. Which belief is true? The belief that
is followed by action is always true.
THE PARADOX
You don’t want cigarettes. In fact, you hate cigarettes, but you
pursue them anyway.
The paradox is that you can never get enough of what you don’t
want.
To change your habit, cease to pursue the things you DON’T want,
and instead pursue the things you DO want. Magic materializes
when you do this.
Begin to pursue being a non-smoker. Consider the options or
alternatives to smoking. Don’t try to “break” your habit, just
look for alternatives. Pursue those things, and your beliefs
about smoking will change.
If you are driving in the fast lane on a highway, and you come
upon someone who is driving slower, but refuses to pull over so
you can pass, you have three alternatives:
1. Get as close as you can to their bumper, and get angry.
2. Smash into their car and risk killing yourself and others.
3. Simply change lanes and move on.
Your smoking habit is the slow car in front of you, and you have
a choice to make.
REMEMBERING YOUR MAGIC
Quitting smoking is actually a simple process. You already have
the ability to quit and be a non-smoker. You simply have
forgotten how to be a non-smoker. For the first several years of
your life you were a non-smoker. You had the magic the moment
you were born!
CONCLUSION
Change your beliefs by taking action to quit. Replace your
current actions and beliefs with new actions and belief. Forget
about your habit. Forget the belief that you are a smoker.
Forget the belief that you can’t be a non-smoker. And know that
you deserve to be a non-smoker.
Soon you will once again perform the magic you knew as a child.
Indi
January 24th, 2004 at 4:53 pm
Indi, that was so great. I’m printing it now to keep with my
foundation statement. I’ve had an awful few days too (3 weeks
tonight). Thanks for the little bit of magic. I sure needed it.
January 24th, 2004 at 11:18 pm
Got to tell you all just booked our holiday - off to Fuerteventura on 16th so
just over a week to go better get ready with my abc’s cos like you Gail this
will be my first ‘vacation’ as a non-smoker.
Its pretty hard to imagine me lying on a beach reading my book without a
‘cig’ but its also hard to imagine me smoking (although could murder one just
before I got on here - its that big hole thing inside again.
Cat and I discussed this a while back I have this horrible ‘feeling’ going
from my lungs up to my throat, Cat had similar feeling going from stomach up
to lungs’.
I eventually went to get checked out at doctors ‘just in case’ as I have
never known a feeling like it and I don’t feel comfortable with it.
Doctor said it could well be the cilia growing back doing their job and the
‘feeling’ I get is them actually working. But because my body has not known
this feeling before it thinks its a bit like ‘fear’ and brings on the urge of
wanting to smoke - he told me it could last up to 6 months.
Now this feeling hasn’t been around for past couple of weeks but yesterday it
started up again and today it has been particularly bad especially this
evening.
So now I have booked our holiday and have sooooo much to do before I go - but
then do I really? I don’t need to leave my house all clean and tidy before I
go away - no one is going to see it (if anyone breaks in while I am away they
aren’t going to worry if I haven’t vac’d the carpet are they????
So all I have to do really is arrange for someone to look after my little
dog, make sure there are no outstanding bills to be paid. Make sure my work
is up to date and then forget ‘what if’s’ while I am away. (Let the boss see
what I had to do while he was away for 3 weeks after all it is his company
not mine:)
Make sure I have plenty of reading material and do what you are doing Gail
and get myself a cog quit file to replace the computer.
Now I have finished rambling the ‘feeling’ has almost gone so I can go have
my night time tea and get off to bed. When I come back from hols I’m gonna
get this ISP sorted out once and for all!!!!
Catch you all later
Indi
January 25th, 2004 at 6:33 am
In a message dated 07/02/02 19:22:47 GMT Standard Time, katie@… writes:
Thanks for your post Katie Lou - think what its all about for me is letting
myself do all the things I know I shouldn’t do - get hungry, tired, angry and
for me thirsty.
Had a day yesterday where my boss who is a real ~~+==****~~~~~~### - think
of the worst name you can imagine, got me so wound up. Now I don’t get angry
but I do get resentful and it just simmers away and eventually it doesn’t
take much for me to burst into tears.
So that was one issue - resentment is a form of anger right!!!
My son had rang me from NZ and didn’t sound his usual happy self - think he
is having a ‘crisis’. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it but all
you mom’s (and Dad’s maybe) out there will know how I feel when I can’t ‘fix
things and make it all better for my ‘baby’ (who just happens to be 30 and a
dad himself:)
So cos I can’t fix things for him I guess there is an issue relating to
‘guilt’
I’d done what I’m really good at got into a too busy to eat mode apart from
chocolate bar - so got the ‘high from sugar and then the low - so next issue
is hunger and tiredness.
Sometimes when I get into this sort of mode and the ‘bad stuff like urges’
starts then I just keep it in my head and it gets worse, then I get into
thinking that - this is the way its meant to be - its meant to be hard to
quit!!!!
Well I guess like a lot of you I know all the things I should do - but there
is a big difference between ‘knowing what to do’ and doing it - sometimes I
just get into the sort of mode where I feel as if I am paddling my canoe
upstream with the paddle turned the wrong way.
But then I am only human and don’t always do the things that I know I should
do - but then I guess I have to suffer the consequences. But I know that
without cog quit I wouldn’t even have been able to think it out.
So today I was determined to do things right - so I wouldn’t have to go
through the ‘urge thing’ again. I got it half right until this evening -
already posted about how I feel this evening and got no idea what is
happening but then that isn’t important - its how I deal with it thats
important.
Well done on your first month Katie Lou - just keep following the leader cos
thats what I’m doing and believe me it works.
Indi
January 25th, 2004 at 2:45 pm
Just one statement? I hadn’t thought of only one. I’m curious, what
is it?
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
January 25th, 2004 at 10:00 pm
Bravo Indi. That’s it exactly. That is why you will not smoke again,
even if there are situations that are intensely ‘urgish’. You’ve learned
how to deal with the response part of your behavior, whether or not it’s
understood. In the end, that’s all we have to do, deal with what happens as
it happens.
In a related way, Indi, I’d guess that you don’t really need to bring
any binders with you. What you need, as far as your quit is concerned, you
already carry with you. It’s all in your thoughs. I wouldn’t be surprised
if Gail returns to report she barely, if at all, needed her binder.
We’ll see.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
January 26th, 2004 at 5:15 am
Congratulations Katie Lou. In your first month, you’ve come farther
it is very much a matter of
down the cog quit road than you realize.
time and patience, that later of which no one has in abundance.
About this…
When I quit I felt as you do. I didn’t at first understand why the quit
was so different and I fully expected the “other shoe to drop”. But there
is no “other shoe”. I know it feels like there is, however that feeling is
based on our past experience. This quit is nothing like past quits so our
experience is going to be very different. The reason your quit has been as
it’s been is because of what and how you’ve been thinking. Continue to
think as you have so far and there will be no “other shoe”. Sometimes we
might wonder, “What if I stop thinking like this” or “What if I forget to
think?”. We can become so overloaded with life that we forget to use our
tools. We can get so worn down that it seems we’re about to melt,
painfully. But between the melting and the lighting of a cig is a very big
chasm.Believe me, before you light up you’ll have chosen to think
cognitively about everything that’s been flung off the fan. And in the
thinking, you’ll return to your ‘in enough control’ place. Give it time,
you’ll see that you can always trust the tools you’ve already learned.
Was that rediculously vague? Think I came home with a chest cold, and
it may be adding a ’spacey’ effect to my brain. If I get entirely astral, I
hope someone will point me toward a seat in the quiet corner.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
January 26th, 2004 at 11:32 am
In a message dated 08/02/02 05:32:43 GMT Standard Time,
ddsteve@… writes:
Sorry to hear this but am sure it won’t affect your brain:) Thanks for your
note, nice to have you back, you were missed, hope you had a good time and
your mum enjoyed her birthday.
Sending Reiki your way to help with the chest cold - catch up over weekend
hopefully.
Namaste
Indi
January 26th, 2004 at 7:37 pm
Hi Linda
). I didn’t need that ’something’ any
I hope the last few awful days have passed by now. This really does
go with the territory in the early weeks of the quit when we’re
dealing with detox and general ‘quit crazies’ (love that phrase).
The great thing is that it does pass. I mentionned to KatieLou in
another post that I had signs up all round the house, warning
everyone that ‘I am in recovery. I am out of sorts and will not be
myself for some time’. We forget that, in quitting, we’re going
through a life changing experience, dealing with a lot all at once
both physically and mentally.
One day this week I interviewed 3 people, one after the other, all
of whom were ‘vaccinated off a parrot’ (a quaint Brit expression I
think). They never paused for breath, telling me their life
histories and various woes. I couldn’t get a word in, it became
very tedious and boring and, after about 2 hours I thought ‘I could
use ….something…to get me through this’. Not a ciggy thought as
such, but ’something’ would’ve helped. The cogquit tools kicked in
straightaway, and my answer was to excuse myself to go and get a
file (having got a word in !), go out of the room, walk round, have
a glass of water…..and then go back to the interview (or
monologue, as it was
more - or maybe that something was simply just a change of scene for
a few minutes.
Hope to catch up with you on ICQ soon.
bye for now
Pam
April 2nd, 2004 at 9:06 pm
Went to the movies today…………
There was a line in “The Beautiful Mind” ………….
I will paraphrase (and possibly badly) but it went something like
this………
“I was thinking - about our hopes and desires, our dreams - and perhaps
our nightmares. Perhaps they all need feeding to keep them alive.”
It sounded like an echo!!!!!!!!! :))
Jean
April 3rd, 2004 at 4:09 am
Loved the movie. Wonderful line.
www.cognitivequitting.com
November 19th, 2004 at 10:12 pm
Lots of “newbies” on the list since I last wrote………
This list works though….. 
Reached an 8 month quit mark last night………..
(keep trying to think of words of wisdom but they do not come)
(after 49 years of heavy smoking)
Best Wishes everyone……….
Jean
November 21st, 2004 at 3:00 am
Jean and Gail
Well done
Congratulations ladies
Steve
November 21st, 2004 at 5:42 pm
Thanks to all for kudos…………
(and to the group for being here)
Jean
November 22nd, 2004 at 12:57 am
Lots of stubborness, Cat….
But I need to be honest, too….
So now I am trying to adapt the cog quit method to weight loss…… 
(hope my experience can serve as a warning to someone!!!) :))
I put on quite a few pounds during the weeks I tried to learn to
reinterpret that inner voice I used to think demanded
nicotine……..:) When my ABC’s failed - a hard candy came to the
rescue!!
Jean
November 23rd, 2004 at 5:44 am
We need to get Boobie involved in this. Chatting with her the other night
she mentioned that she’d used some foundation statements and ABC’s to help
her drop 25lbs so far. There might be something worth discussing.
Steve
November 23rd, 2004 at 8:26 pm
Input welcome, Steve…
I seem to be having the same difficulty creating ABC’s for food as I
originally did for smokes!!!!
What I think has happened is that I taught Warren that Werthers (and/or
a lot of other things) were a darned good substitute
…….!!!!!……….
At first I kept telling myself - well - it is better than smoking - but
it got out of hand before I realized it!!!!
I managed to gather up 40 lbs which need to be lost!!!!!!!
Jean
November 24th, 2004 at 3:29 am
Jean, I’ve got no input on this. I’m not the one who’s used cog thinking
to advantage in weight control. Bobbie used this. She’s the one who can
offer up what worked for her and how it worked. Gail? You’ve used cog
thinking to effect a change in eating patterns? Come on … spit it out.
Oh! Would that be a weight control method? Spitting it out?
November 24th, 2004 at 10:56 am
Have to feel that whatever worked for cigs, must be applicable in other
(my wardrobe shrinks daily!!)
ways……
I shall work on it……… :)))
But I am surely open to input from anyone on the list..
Jean
November 25th, 2004 at 1:14 am
At 07:38 AM 9/3/2002 -0500, Gail wrote:
“I am sure once I get the strength and stamina to get serious about using
exercise, eating right, keeping busy (i.e. being a perfect human being) for
my C’s in that project that the ABC’s will work tremendously.”
I think Gail’s stated a universal posture. I know this sounds just like
me. It’s something that’ll happen when ….. I get *it* together. This
sounds a lot like where I was with quitting for a lot of yrs, “I’d be able
to quit if I can get a handle on my triggers …. when I can deal with my
emotions …. if I can only…. .”
Getting a handle on emotions or feelings in order to not ‘want’ to smoke
wasn’t going to happen. Some how (foundation statements and ABCs) we
removed the emotional/feeling criteria from our individual decisions re:
whether on not to smoke in this or that situation. We made it as mechanical
and dispassionate as possible. In a similar vein, what would we have to
remove, what shift in focus would we require, other than becoming ‘perfect
human beings :), what criteria would we need to employ in order to make
dispassionate choices about what I eat?
As I was writing this, Anita came on ICQ and in talking, I asked how she
was doing. She replied “doing ok this past day or two, been sort of high
one day, low the next, more kind of even the last couple. some cravings
but I’ve understood what they were about, and soon as I did they went
away.” That’s the cog quit, knowing what’s going on in the moment and the
consequent redirection of behavior. Could a similar “understanding what
they are” about be applied to urges to eat, or to choices of what to eat?
I’m just asking questions. Actually, I really just trying to find the
questions to ask.
Steve
November 25th, 2004 at 8:21 am
to eat?
A lot of the cigs I smoked were about wanting to take a break from
whatever chore I was doing, to put off doing something, to escape
from some scenario, to relax, calm down……. I used them in many
ways as an escape. I think overeating, or eating the wrong food
(comfort calorie laden food) is used in much the same way. Maybe
again we need to look at the physical symtons these ‘feelings’
generate and use whats appropriate in that moment. But I’m sure
there’s more to it than that….. I’ve thought and I’m still
thinking about this one (you do ask some questions over the morning
tea - well, it was breakfast time here anyway..)
Anita
November 26th, 2004 at 6:25 am
I have come to believe that dieting (for me) will be VERY much the same
as learning not to smoke……………
(or perhaps just an extension of this learning)
I suspect that what I have really learned up to now is to substitute!!!
And Warren has learned a new game………….
Jean
November 30th, 2004 at 9:48 pm
ok steve now you have blown your image of perfection when you misspelled my
And I’ve officially lost 27 1/2 pounds as of Tues nite. My quit date was
name.
That’s Bobbie to you, only those who really know me call me Boobie (or is
that a boob?)
March 17th 2002
Yes I’m laughing….Bobbie
December 1st, 2004 at 4:42 pm
I know I sent this one, spelled correctly, earlier. Both copies may show
up. to be sure…..
Wow!! Well done Bobbie
December 1st, 2004 at 11:57 pm
Wow!! Well done Bobbie
December 8th, 2004 at 6:16 pm
The tool to lose weight I chose was weight watchers. What got me started and
kept me going was:
1. I started off with a foundation statement. While my foundation statement
for weight loss was worded differently than smoking, bottom line is I
believed I needed to change the way I was living my life.
2. Like with smoking I made a list of why I wanted to lose weight. Again
though the words were different the result was I was listing the ways my old
habits and lifestyle was limiting my enjoyment of day to day life.
3. I did more what if’s the first month than any ABC’s. What if a fellow
office worker offered me a donut/smoke?
What if I had to eat out at a restaurant/smoking section
I’m not sure if I’m being clear, but this is not an advertisement on weight
loss, this is a testimony on how proactive thinking and planning will help
you quit smoking and lose weight.
PS I did not try to dive into this weight loss program the first few months
of my quit. I gave myself a time goal to not worry about the weight issue,
but set up a three month limit to get busy and do something about the extra
pounds.
December 22nd, 2004 at 8:05 pm
Wow!! Well done Bobbie
October 18th, 2005 at 12:28 pm
Almost six months into this quit, I find myself confused about whether we
were supposed to rewrite (or personalize) the Foundation Statements. I
memorized and “adopted” them as they are written—and many times they prove
to be the backbone of my commitment to stay quit (I guess I just answered my
own question–yes, I’m a blonde)…Take care, PegS
October 18th, 2005 at 6:51 pm
hey, me too!
peg.
October 20th, 2005 at 7:57 am
In a message dated 5/5/2003 9:22:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ddsteve@… writes:
November 28th, 2005 at 11:19 am
funny Steve - you must be reading my mind!!! I’ve been thinking about an that
very thing. In fact I’ve been making notes on what is going on with me after a
meal when I want a cigarette the most. I haven’t yet come up with any good
replacements for an ABC - getting up and doing dishes after a meal just isn’t
the same. I’ve been working on this one. The only thing that comes close is
sugar which for my weight isn’t an option but all I’ve come up with so far. Yes
- why is it that the desire for a “pleasure” cigarette is the most difficult to
overcome. There is one ABC on the lists in the files but it’s the get up and do
something kind and doesnt’ address the pleasure sensation. That’s about the
only thing I miss about smoking is that cigarette after a meal. do you still
have an urge for a cigarette after a meal after being quit for so long?
On another note, I did have sort of another epiphany this past weekend. I had 3
house guests - all of whom smoked. They know I am quitting so they didn’t smoke
around me. I went outside though once while 2 of them were smoking and walked
by. I thought I would want a cigarette immediately when I smelled them for the
first time since quitting, but I didn’t. It turned me off completely. They
smelled foul and I didn’t want one for sure. It surprised me that I felt that
way. I even drank a little beer on the 4th and didnt’ even want one. Other
than the stress of having extra people around, the weekend went very well.
I’m interested in anyone else’s thoughts on the after meal/pleasure ciggy. We
will definitely have this whole quitting business licked if we can come up with
the answer to that one.
November 28th, 2005 at 7:38 pm
Nope, never. In fact, I never really had urges to smoke from day 1 of
my quit. That’s not to say I wasn’t intensely aware that something was
‘missing’ after a meal. But I was spending so much time asking myself what
did I really want that ‘urges for cigs’ never materialized. The only thing
I may want at teh end of a meal these days is…. more. But I’m working
on getting up from the table before I can only roll away.
As for the pleasure smokes….. the following are a couple of thoughts from
a chat earlier today with Di:
<ddsteve
pleasurable ‘ahh’ feeling. If Warren knows that a smoke = ‘ahh’ and we’re
wanting to or expecting to feel the ‘ahh’, wouldn’t it be logical that he’d
tell us to light up?
<ddsteve
smoke seems the desired action.
<Di
pleasurable thing should be enough in itself.
<ddsteve
good feelings are already present, maybe we need to let go of the belief
that a smoke = ‘ahh’ and just feel the ‘ahh’ that already exists.
I’m still chewing this one over. Any other ideas out there?
Steve
November 29th, 2005 at 10:01 am
activity the good feelings are already present, maybe we need to let
Any help would be great.
go of the belief that a smoke = ‘ahh’ and just feel the ‘ahh’ that
already exists.
Hi Gang - I’m still here - lurking away. This discussion really
tweaked my interest for a couple of reasons:
The times that I thought would be the worst was after dinner and in
my car. When I quit, I can honestly say that both of these
situations were just like a pesky fly - you kinda swat it away and
its gone. They never bothered me - even in the heavy throws of days
1-3. I wonder if its because I “expected” them to be bad and
therefore dealt with them beforehand on a subconcious level? Oh -
and for the first few weeks I stayed away from alcohol entirely.
After tentatively having a couple of glasses of wine one night I
realized that it doesn’t trigger any desire to smoke.
Having said that - what I didn’t expect was the “reward cig” It
seems like I’ll go along for about a week or so doing very very well
and then I wake up one morning and I’m right back to square one. I
finish an activity and I want a smoke. I start an activity and I
want a smoke. I do something good and I want a smoke. I try the
HALT stuff. No dice. I’m not hungry, thirsty, etc. I try telling
Warren that after 4 months he’s gotta know that it ain’t on, but he
still offers up smoking regularly. Then, for no apparent reason, the
cravings stop again.
Ideas? Anyone?
Oh - I might add that in 5 days my daughter is getting married at my
house - which means 100 guests, catering, landscaping, etc, etc.
But, while this triggers anxiety cravings, Warren and I have managed
them quite nicely.
Long post, I know sorry - but when you lurk for a while, seems like
there’s an awful lot that needs to come out all at once
Marlene
November 29th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Hi Marlene,
I was thinking about you post and your statement…
Here’s a thought…
you sail along pretty much on autopilot having partially retrained Warren
to deal appropriately most of the time. But once in a while, depending on
some very subtle level of sensation, he offers up old options. It’s at that
point that you, once again, get involved. But because Warren is already
into his ‘old ways’, it takes a bit of work on your part to turn him once
more to the newer choices. This ties into being a bit more proactive in
preparing either ABCs or doing some ‘what if’ thinking. My guess is that if
you make a point of ‘touching base’ with Warren more often to make sure
he’s on the same page, you’ll side step the smoking thoughts.
Steve
November 30th, 2005 at 12:30 am
Hi Steve - You’re right about the logistics part of it. (very
right). To be honest, I haven’t done a lot of ABC’s in the last
little bit, but I recognized that the worry over having a houseful
(for 3 days, many of whom are smokers) and the actual wedding day was
something I needed to be prepared for. I’ve written out my ABC’s and
tucked them away. I’ll pull them out the day before, during, and
after for review as needed.
As for the reward ABC - I’ll mull that over tonight and see what I
can come up with. Your choice of words intrigues me. Perhaps I’m
coming at it from the wrong angle and that’s why Warren & I are at
odds.
Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll have something useful.
Marlene
January 16th, 2007 at 6:50 am
Greetings to Everybody,
I feel like I am coming out of a long dark tunnel,
the last two weeks or so have been so hard and
grueling. I quit on August 19th so it’s been 5
weeks for me. The first couple of weeks were
amazingly easy for me, at least much more so
than I expected, with using the timer, abc’s,
breathing, emailing, chatting with Steve, and
the initial high of actually quitting, how empowering
that has been for me.
Then BAM! CRASH! Intense rollercoaster emotions,
tons of grief, major panic and anxiety attacks
like I have never experienced in my life,
depression, despair, what’s the point of quitting,
grieving for my dear loving cigarettes who would
soothe and comfort me… if only I wanted to be
a smoker… but I DONT want to be a smoker for
crying out loud … so I kept hanging on for dear
life, on the hope that all of this had something
to do with quitting, and was normal and to be
expected… I went for acupuncture, therapy,
chiropractic, chinese herbs, massage, weeping
sessions with my friend, natural hormones, and …
I’m feeling better! knockonwood, breathe.
Didn’t smoke. Don’t want to be a smoker.
Thanks to all who’ve stayed in touch on this list,
it has been a lifeline, and thanks most of all
to Steve. Love, Annie
January 16th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Cori wrote:
<< I need to remember that everything has a solution and that smoking ISN”T
the answer.
The above sentence is a keeper…
And thanks Cori — it is truly helpful to know that others
experience similar stuff. Steve’s suggestion about taking
care of the body, when the mind and emotions are a
wreck, is such simple, obvious and awesomely important
advice for me. Annie
April 10th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
I’m having trouble getting the sigmacht “initialized”. I will try it again.
Are you going to be around at all this am? sylviaed