I’m back

Hi All
Well here I am back again in the cold, damp grey UK (yuk) talk about
post holiday blues - well I think I’ve got them big time (especially
after reading your Whining post Steve:) Seriously sounds like you
guys have been doing really good.
What with Pam’s first year anniversary, Cat getting her eyes done
(hope all is well Cat) Gail back from her holiday still smoke free
and hubby too - really proud of you both:) not to mention the fact
that you are still married:)
Jean and Marde you are doing really well - loved your Poem to Pam
Marde:)
Sorry to hear you are having puter probs Steve - all the advancement
of this hi tech stuff just means that there are more things able to
go wrong so although mine is plodding along slowly at least it lets
me do what I want to do and that is communicate with you lot:)

Well I’ve had my first ever smoke free holiday and it was truly
amazing. I hardly ever thought about smoking, never had a thought or
an urge which I was really surprised about. I was amazed when we
arrived at the airport at the end of our flight when I realised I
hadn’t thought once of smoking and I hadn’t had to keep my mouth and
hands busy during the flight like I used to have to do. I only
thought about it at the end of the flight when I realised I could
take my time getting off the plane, I didn’t have to dash anymore to
get my nicotine fix - brilliant.
Throughout the holiday smoking hardly entered my head, there were no
real occasions when Hermy was telling me that smoking was the
response and my big hole just disappeared. So whether this is stress
related or not I don’t know - guess I’ll find out within the next
week or so when I’m back to reality.
The first week of the holiday the weather wasn’t too good - although
it was a lot warmer than in UK it was cloudy and not really
sunbathing weather. The island (Fuerteventura) where we were is very
barren and there is really nothing to do other than sunbathe so for
about four days I just lay on the bed in our apartment and read
trashy novels - it was sheer heaven. We didn’t even get dressed to
go out in the evening just had bread, cheese and salad.
I wasn’t sure whether or not I was just really stressed out/tired or
depressed so had decided to take some St Johns Wort while I was on
holiday to give it a chance to get into my system before going back
to work.
So I felt that these few days of ’slobbing about’ were just what
Ineeded.
We then hired a car and went exploring - its not a very big island
and has some quite dramatic scenery which changes rapidly - we found
some really nice beaches did a lot of walking, beachcombing and rock
pool hunting and I got a few nice stones and shells to bring home
with me.
At the beginning of the second week when we got back to our apartment
after a lovely day at the beach (where we just so happened to watch a
lot of really nice kites flying:) there was a message for me to
contact the tour rep as she had some important information for me.
Well my mind went into ‘disaster mode’ (as it usually does) and I
couldn’t beleive that at no time did I think that a cigarette would
be the response to my fears/worries etc. So this was another time
when it was proven to me that smoking is not not my automitac
response to everything. I find it so hard to believe that this can
be happening in such a short space of time.
The important news turned out to be a case of having to change our
flight - don’t know why I always think of doom and gloom but I do.
So all in all we had a wonderful holiday - got home around 3am this
morning. Collected the post, checked the voice mail, checked my
email then went to get a drink before bed and when I went into the
kitchen I actually reached for my ‘cigs’ - there was such a
powerful ‘automatic response’ to this is what I do when I come home
from holiday in middle of night.
It wasn’t like a powerful urge so my response to it was just to tell
DH, laugh about it, pick up my water and go up to bed.
Had a good nights sleep, still feeling very post holiday, don’t want
to be here, don’t like the weather, don’t want to do the washing etc
but then thats life and I noticed earlier that I have crocuses coming
up in my tubs so guess that means spring is on the way.
I have a short week at work this week as I am going away for the
weekend with my two daughters so will only work four days. It will
be ‘Mothers Day’ in the UK and we are having a girlie weekend in
Stratford upon Avon (which is Shakespear Country for my friends
across the pond’s benefit). Ok it will still be cold, damp and grey
but what the heck at least we will be together, able to laugh and
have fun - have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, clothes
on our back, no major disabilites and best of all I will be a non-
smoker.
So look forward to catching up with you all later
Namaste
Ind

4 Responses to “I’m back”

  1. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hey Marde
    You said
    Hey - no offence taken! It was one of those amusing differences
    between Brit and American, hence the dictionary link we use quite a
    bit. One of our quaint expressions is ‘going outside for a fag’ -
    that’d raise a few eyebrows in the USA if we said that ;) (A fag
    being a cig in Brit speak).
    It’s all part of the fun of transatlantic chatting, making cock ups
    from time to time (now go on, please don’t tell me that that Brit
    expression for a mistake is a no-no in the USA :) )
    This week has been hectic, I’ve not been online very much, but this
    week should settle down a bit. I was interested in what you were
    saying about the thrift shops and buying jeans there - we have
    similar in the UK we call Charity shops, where we can buy 2nd hand
    things cheaply and raise money for charities. Having gone up 2 dress

    sizes before I started with Weight Watchers there was no way I was
    going to buy new big clothes!
    Catch up with you later on
    Pam

  2. Neva Marjory Says:

    loudly at eachother and I told him ‘TO GET A GODDAMN JOB’! Oh, oh,
    the spell is breaking.<
    Sounds like the honeymoon is over, kiddo. How’s he doing on that
    HoneyDo list? If he stays busy and productive, it’ll help both of
    you - he’ll feel like he’s contributing and it’ll keep him out from
    under your feet.
    Hey, this could qualify as one of our pitiful smoking person
    stories. I’ve seen a few good ones lately. There’s a lady on
    another support group that sadly told of when her youngest was born.
    About 30 minutes after being born, the baby started “vibrating”. She
    asked the nurse what was wrong. The nurse looked at her and
    said “You must be a smoker, that’s what babies do when they’re born
    addicted to nicotine. Don’t worry, it’ll go away soon.”
    Well, didn’t want to be depressing but sometimes it takes just one
    fact that makes that click in someone’s head. I remember hearing

    about nicotine addiction in babies years ago and I think that was my
    motivation for not smoking during pregnancy. I have to admit that I
    had SERIOUS morning sickness during the first trimester which made it
    easier to give up the smokes, but I had urges all the time and
    probably would have nursed my babies longer if it wasn’t for the fact
    that I wanted to start smoking again so desperately.
    Just one of those revelations to which I admit nowadays in hopes that
    it may help someone else.
    - Cat

  3. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hey, Indi. We’ve talked about this “hole” a few times. How’s it
    going with that? Still gone?
    Isn’t it something when we actually REACH for those cigs after all
    this time (seems like a year since I’ve had a smoke)? You were
    probably exhausted and thirsty and I guess Warren just went to an
    automatic response since you were out of your routine. It feels good
    to shrug those thoughts off now. I don’t even know if they qualify as
    urges anymore since I don’t quite get the “pull” from them that I
    used to get - same for you?
    - Cat

  4. Dorsey Elke Says:

    Hi
    I used to be a successful quitter but have now been back as a smoker
    for six weeks and desperately need your help to get back on track.
    My quit lasted for 5 years and I never thought I would ever go back to
    smoking but I have - but realised that this isn’t what I want to do.
    Appreciate all and any help I can get to give it up again.
    Many thanks
    Indi

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