Comments on: ok, so where is everybody?

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Thu, 04 Mar 2004 03:26:14 +0000

And it’s cheap too. Always a plus!
- Cat
“When your world seems like too much to handle, Just take a deep breath and
laugh. It clears the mind and frees your spirit.” –
Unknown

By: Raleigh Missy

Raleigh Missy — Tue, 02 Mar 2004 22:34:01 +0000

found out. but it still sounds like something you’d do to fish
www.cognitivequitting.com

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Tue, 02 Mar 2004 15:11:41 +0000

— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, Bernadette Clark wrote:
Indi, first of all, who is Bernadette Clark?
But don’t you agree that at first when we started our exercises, it
was important for us to try to identify our feelings? We used those
exercises as a tool in helping us to learn to listen to our bodies,
to discover what we really needed or wanted instead of the false
relief of nicotine. i.e., we had to think about why we were feeling
that urge or that craving in order for us to make choices that would
work to satisfy our needs.
Well, I know that there’s going to be times when I think that I don’t
know what brought on a certain urge but there’s fewer and fewer urge
events when I can’t figure out the cause for the urge (or is it
because it’s fewer and fewer urges that I’m getting?) Yep, me too, Indi. I guess it’ll always be that way. Hopefully,

though, soon the bad days will have nothing to do with us struggling
with the idea of having a smoke. I think I’m pretty much there
myself. Sounds like you are too.
- Cat

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Tue, 02 Mar 2004 07:56:46 +0000

Good for you, KatieLou. That is awfully difficult. But you did well
as far as not letting smoking be the right option for relieving the
stress you must have felt. Did you have to make a conscious effort
to find an alternative plan to help with the stress?
That’s right, we need to be comfortable in our craziness, hehe.
Actually, I agree with you 100%. A lot of us are at the same stage
of the quit now…we’re out there reclaiming our lives, coming back
every once in a while to compare notes, see how everyone else is
doing, see how the gaffer is doing (did you ever figure out what
gaffer means, Steve?), and to hopefully help others who may wander in
off the cyberspace streets. Feels pretty good, huh?
- Cat

By: Lester Sierra

Lester Sierra — Thu, 26 Feb 2004 05:02:52 +0000

Katie Armitage wrote:
Jean
Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts, KatieLou………
And congrats on how well YOU have done!!!!!!!
I do not know why I find it so difficult to recognize a cognitive factor
in what seems to happen with me.
But I agree with your response………….deep breathing and
relaxation.
Take care,
Jean

By: Lester Sierra

Lester Sierra — Wed, 25 Feb 2004 14:33:03 +0000

I have to admit I have a problem seeing my “reach” for a
cigarette as anything other than a Pavlovian response…………
I have a meter running and it says “2592 cigs not smoked in the past 9
weeks”.
It boggles my mind how many I must have reached for in the years before
this one!!!!!
Jean

By: Raleigh Missy

Raleigh Missy — Tue, 24 Feb 2004 23:51:06 +0000

We all began by “hanging on”. Very very few have used cognitive quitting
as their quit method on the first quit attempt of their ’smoking/quitting’
career. Most cog quitters have opted to try cog quitting because they’ve
had no success with ‘hanging on’ and the cog approach makes sense. However,
if ‘hanging’ is working for someone, great. With time, many changes will
occur including the lessening and dissappearance of most urges. Truthfully,
those who stay quit by ‘hanging’ are stronger than I, as I was never able
to stay quit that way.
I don’t give up on anyone who’s quitting, regardless of how they’re
quitting, although, being the opinionated piece of work that I am, I can be
expected to comment on what I see as the ‘effectiveness and
characteristics’ of different approaches. Steve

By: Raleigh Missy

Raleigh Missy — Tue, 24 Feb 2004 16:36:11 +0000

Hi KatieLou,
About the “still have my moments of irritability/anger that seem to
come out of nowhere”, that’s got more to do with the physiological recovery
our neural system goes through as a result of having been nicotine addicts.
The ‘out of the blue’ stuff will settle down in time. I know that for me,
rage was the primary feeling I experienced for a very long time. It was
only at 6 months quit that I realized that it had been a while since I’d
stopped experiencing ‘out of the blue’ anger.
“but the most important thing is that it (cog quitting) is still working
for me.”
And it will continue to work for you as long as you work it. The
reason cog quitting works is because it addresses the ‘reach for a cig’
response at the point where that response is ‘created’. You’ve said that
this quit was ‘easier’ than other quits. That’s because you’ve got a method
of dealing with behavior (the smoking behavior) that works. One of the

primary reasons cognitive quitting works long term is that it’s
‘repeatable’. The patterns of thinking that you’ve applied in the past are
something you understand and can recreate at will whenever necessary.
That’s why I think of you as permanently quit since there is no situation
that can arise that you can not handle with the tools you already possess.
Security and confidence in your ability to handle anything that comes down
the road is a function of time cognitively quit and you’re on your way
there day by day.
Steve

By: Lester Sierra

Lester Sierra — Tue, 24 Feb 2004 09:33:24 +0000

Hi Steve…………….
Just in case I am not the only “stranger from a strange land” that
finds their way to your group…………..I just wanted to ask you not
to give up entirely on those of us who began by “hanging on”………
I have tried very hard to think how I might have approached it
differently - supposing I had learned of cognitive quit before and not
after I was already a week or so into “the holding on
mode”………….but I do not think it would have changed things a
great deal for this almost 2 packs a day smoker………..
My smoking behaviour was about on a par with breathing - if I was not
eating, or sleeping, or in a situation where smoking was
prohibited……….I had one in my hand…no signals were necessary (at
least as far as I was aware)……..
Through some miracle I have managed to do the “hanging on thing” for a
number of weeks (9 now I think) - and gradually things have

changed………
I note that in most situations where reaching for that cigarette was
automatic - I have managed to convince Warren that “we don’t need to do
that any more” -
and now the urges are tied more to emotional ups and downs…..so the
cognitive approach seems more apt. Emotional “need” is different,
though. No matter how I try to convince him otherwise - Warren screams
back at me that “it always worked before!!!!!!!!!!!” In truth - as of tonight - the only so far insurmountable hurdle I have
yet to face is the one “truth” I convinced myself of over 50 years of
smoking behaviour……….and that is the need for a cigarette in order
to relax completely.
Years ago I took Yoga classes - and I can remember driving home from
them - so relaxed that I thought I might possibly be a danger on the
highway……….I need to recapture that feeling before I will have
this quit licked……………..
I do not know that this rant will help anyone…………but perhaps it
may help those of you who grasp the cognitive approach more
easily……….to understand those who have more difficulty………
Jean
I have not smoked for: 2 months, 5 days, 3 hours, 26 minutes and 3
seconds.