A cogquit dream…
Hi Christine,
Interesting dream that was. Another few days and you’ll have your first
month under your belt, I expect that’ll be a wonderful feeling. I’d love to
hear some of the specifics of your cog quit experience anytime you feel up
to pecking at the keyboard …. things like ease and effectiveness of
this quit if you have past quits to compare to, how you’re meeting and
dealing with both expected events and surprise events?
Thanks for posting about your success so far.
Steve
February 27th, 2004 at 5:28 am
Hi Peg, just a quick and silly question, what does DH mean anyway? I
keep seeing that!
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Peg Putzbach” <putzbach@m…
February 27th, 2004 at 7:57 pm
Hi Steve and group-
I AM very excited about reaching a month, thanks! However I have to
say, and I hope I’m not jinxing myself (or making the whole list
hate me) when I say that I’ve never really tried to quit before. I
quit when I had pneumonia once but I was back to smoking in no time,
even when I was still on inhalers. (what a jerk I was!). Anyway, I
guess I always wanted to smoke and I believed that adage that you
have to want to quit to be able to succeed. My husband used to try
do mini-quits with me (i.e an evening, a weekend) but I’m an all-or-
nothing kind of gal, and I was smoking so much that the cravings were
so awful that I’d cave in a few hours after a halfhearted effort.
Plus I was still enjoying smoking, I guess. So I finally decided I
wanted to do this a few months ago and started to get ready - finding
web resources, reading books about it, etc. I picked a date, told my
husband about a week beforehand, (he needed no preparation), and we
did it cold turkey.
So what concerns me, where I seem to differ from most people who
quit, is that I’ve never really tried to quit before. Everyone talks
about their failed attempts before it ’sticks’, I just hope this
isn’t a dress-rehearsal quit that will fail before I find the one
that sticks. I know I have some control over that but it seems to
have happened to people way better at this than me - so how do I
avoid it?
- Christine
February 28th, 2004 at 3:12 am
Welcome Welcome more lurkers its good to have you hear and good for
you to come out of the closet as it were.
Its also nice to see that you have been reading, listening and
learning so should be well on your way to quitting.
But cog quitting is not all about quitting it is all about staying
quit so what we need to hear from you guys are your foundation
statements, the abc’s you have been using already times when you need
abc’s and all sort of stuff like that so get writing.
We need this information so we can see where you are coming from and
how much you know about the process (and also like Steve says just
cos we are darned nosy.
Anyway glad to see you and hope you do stick around whatever you do
stick around until I come back from my weekend away cos it sucks when
I meet new people, go off for a weekend and then when I come back the
newbies have gone:(
So hope to see you all back in full flow when I am back on Monday.
Good luck to you all and to the person whose first quit it is - don’t
worry there are no rules to say you have to have so many unsuccessful
quits before you get a successful. Maybe you are gonna be one the
the lucky ones who got into cog quit first time around and if yu
really get into it there is not reason on earth that you willever
smoke again unless you deliberately choose to.
Goodnight - have a good weekend and hopefully I will return to lots
of inspirational messages.
Namaste and nice to meet you
Indi
February 28th, 2004 at 10:27 am
Hi Christine - good to meet you. I was one of those ppl who’d tried
Pam
to quit many times and failed. Those quits failed because, each
time, I did the same things ie ‘hanging on’ and not much else. This
time round I knew I had to do something different. What I did was
to find the cognitive quitting approach, and find a very different
way of quitting, a way which made total sense to me.
With Steve’s help I learned how to understand my smoking behaviour
and how to put new responses in place when the smoking craves and
urges hit. Smokers tend to associate the perceived ‘relief’ a cig
gives with each and every uncomfortable (and comfortable) sensation,
and I learned how to disassociate those connections. Now, when I
feel angry, sad, antsy, happy, etc, I no longer think automatically
of a cig - Warren offers up much more appropriate responses. And
I’m in control - and after just over a year quit I know this is the
real thing, and not a dress rehearsal.
Are you doing it very differently this time? How has cog quitting
helped you so far? Looks like you’re doing well so far at a month
quit
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “thepuentes”
February 28th, 2004 at 5:42 pm
Hi, don’t worry I’ll still be here after the weekend, I’m in it for
the long run!! I’m not sure about foundation statements, is that the
notecard of reasons to quit? CQuit is one of a few sources I used in
my research, just can’t remember. If so, I carry around a notecard
in purse with the following that I read if I feel an urge:
- I’m 30 years old and short of breath when I run to catch a train,
and that’s pathetic.
- I look stupid and unapproachable when I smoke, and I especially
don’t want my neices and nephews to see me that way (and one day my
children).
- I’m sick of hiding this habit that embarasses me endlessly.
- I want to live as long as possible to enjoy my husband, friends,
and family.
As for ABCs, my hardest moments were working at home (where I didn’t
hide my smoking:
A: My eyes are blurring and I can’t think clearly anymore.
B: If I smoke, I’ll feel relaxed and be able to focus again.
C: What really relaxed and focused me was getting up to go outside,
so now I’ll go get a snack, some tea, or just take a walk outside for
the time I used to smoke.
Drinking:
A: I love this red wine and I’m having so much fun, I’m a bit buzzed.
B: A ciggy would taste good right now.
C: Those cigs are the cause of ’smoking hangovers’ and headaches and
I don’t need it to have fun - the wine and friends are what make this
night good, not sickarettes.
Driving:
A: That #^&&* just cut me off, I’m so mad I’m shaking.
B: A cig would calm me.
C: Counting to 10 and opening the window for some air will do a
better job…if it’s really bad, I’ll crank the music.
I would love feedback if I’m on track with this - as I noted before,
I am worried that since this is my first real try, that my chances of
success are worse. I feel good though, very positive about it, so
far. Thanks!
February 29th, 2004 at 8:19 am
There’s a SmokEnders saying to the effect that ‘We only continue to
smoke because we don’t know how to quit’. I’d add that ‘the only reason we
relapse is because we don’t know why we smoked’. We can avoid relapse by
increasing our understanding of why we smoked and what alternate options
are available, options that are in keeping with our foundation statements.
February 29th, 2004 at 3:34 pm
Hi Christine,
These sound like
also a great way
James Larson’s ‘card therapy’. They’re a great method to focus our
attention away from irrational and flawed beliefs to more realistic
observations. Usually, just observing a situation with a rational and
objective perspective suggests alternate ways to respond. At that point,
it’s up to us to choose.
And these sound like our ‘cognitive quitting’ ABCs
to focus attention on the steps that make up a particular pattern of
behavior and by examining it, choose more appropriate options. The
difference tween the two is that one makes a number of statements in
observation of a situation while the other examines the actual mechanism by
which we encounter the situation, make some inner judgements/beliefs, and
then associate a response. I think the latter goes closer to actively and
pointedly changing the patterns.
Foundation Statements are……. : (here’s the article)
Regardless of how a person is going at their quit, whether it’s CT or
with NRT or any other quit aids, I think it helps to establish some
‘foundation statements’.
Foundation statements are a set of statements that are ALWAYS true
regardless of
what emotions we may be feeling at the moment.
The following questions will help define those statements:
1- Is this a calm, rational moment where I can ask myself some questions
and answer those questions honestly without the answers being influenced by
any emotion or physical sensation? If the answer to this one is ‘yes’
continue, otherwise wait until a more appropriate time.
2- Do I want to be a smoker? meaning do I want to respond by lighting up
to all the stresses that are life? If the answer is ‘no’ continue,
otherwise, spend some time thinking about why you’re attempting to do
something that requires ‘total’ commitment at the same time that I don’t
have that commitment.
3- Having stated that “I don’t want to be a smoker.”, can I think of any
exceptions? (Don’t confuse the desire to relieve discomfort, a perfectly
normal and natural desire, with the thought(s) that a cigarette is the
appropriate tool for relief. The question here is simply, “Is a cigarette
ever an appropriate response?” If I can think of situations where it would
be valid, then we need to examine those in detail and refute them.)
4- Am I prepared to stay aware of these personal truths and stand by
them regardless of how rough I may feel at any point in the future? That
there will be many points in the future where I will be uncomfortable is a
given. To not accept that as a fact of reality is to be intentionally blind
and will cost me in terms of effort required to deal with that discomfort
when it happens.
Based on answers to the above questions, I might write out my foundation
statements as follows:
“During a moment of personal calm, I rationally determined that…
1- I do not want to be a smoker.
2- There is NO situation where behaving as a smoker would be appropriate.
3- That I’m prepared to re-affirm this to myself each morning; to write
it out and carry it with me if necessary; to trust completely that no
matter how uncomfortable or cranky I may be, these foundation statements
will ALWAYS be my personal truth and that I will respond accordingly.
The reason I believe ‘foundation statements’ are important is because
most of us respond to life based on our emotional state at the moment. Our
initial ‘choice of response’ is based on what we’re feeling rather than
what we know to be rock bottom, dispassionate truth. Once that choice based
on ‘feeling’ is ‘on the table’, our brain must work extra hard to try to
refute that first choice. This is exactly where all the internal arguing
takes place.
Using our foundation statements, we have a tool that focuses our
thinking on what we know with certainty is true, honest, accurate, and is
actually, when all is said and done, really what we want.
Work out your own statements or use these if they fit.
If foundation statements are still unclear, tell me and we’ll come at it
from another angle.
Steve
March 1st, 2004 at 6:04 am
Hi Peg’
I think you’re dead on the mark, smoking was a far more involved process
whatever it takes it what’s
of mental/behavioral habits (the association of lighting up as the ‘answer’
for almost all of our expeliences) than the relatively simple
habit/patterns of feeding a chemical addiction.
I find it takes 3 foundation statements to ‘outline’ my foundation. But
if you can do it in one or two or five,
needed.
Steve
March 4th, 2004 at 1:41 pm
It means Dumb Hamburgermeat or Desirous Hunk, depending on your mood. Oh, most
people think it means Dear Hubby or
something silly like that.
- Cat
March 4th, 2004 at 8:56 pm
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “thepuentes” <christinepuente@h…
Well, I know a few people who smoked for many many years and succeeded on their
first quit. It’s not as common as ppl who have
had to try at least a few times but it does happen. It just so happens, my DH
(please refer to previous post on DH description,
right now he is in a favorable state of my mind since he’s been overseas the
last two weeks and I miss him) is one of those ppl
who quit smoking 20 years ago, bada boom bada bang, and now has no desire for a
smoke except when he’s had some beers. He’s
one of those very rare individuals that can have a few cigs every few months, no
big deal (this is when DH means not such a nice
thing). I also have a friend who put down smokes 10 years ago and that was
that. One thing that my DH and my friend have in
common, they are engineers. Does that tell you something (logic means
everything)? Everyone else that I know who has quit or
tried to quit has had a difficult time of it. But to different degrees. We’re
all different. If you were truly ready to quit, then
you’ll probably be OK. We’ll just try to help you along to get you comfortable
to where you’ll keep that quit.
- Cat
March 5th, 2004 at 4:10 am
Oh, good, Char, glad you checked in. Always good to hear from you and I’m glad
that the meds helped for a while when you needed
it. Over six months now - wow!! You’re doing great, keep on keeping on!!!
- Cat
March 6th, 2004 at 11:40 pm
Cat -
I read your DH comments with great interest - wouldn’t you know it,
mine is a computer engineer? They see the world in black and white,
there are no hazy areas. It’s amazing. He thinks I’m crazy to need
this site but he also I think appreciates that I’m not in his ear all
the time about it.
Ok, all, here’s my stab at a foundation statement, :
Smoking does me absolutely no good, only harm.
I will not put something in my body that harms me, under any
circumstances.
The reason for this is that I’m one of those ‘otherwise healthy’
smokers- very concerned & active re: the environment, my diet,
exercise, etc. Smoking was a problem because it seemed to wash away
the good that I was doing. Now I can say that I am truly healthy.
That means a lot to me.