Checking In

Hey guys! Just to let you all know I haven’t disappeared. I’m still reading
just not posting.
Six and a half months without a cigarette. I would have told you that this
was impossible. It would have been too, without Steve, all of you, and
CogQuit. Foundation Statements and ABC’s, how much nicer than gritting my
teeth and praying that it would get easier.
My particular combination of quit depression and SAD (better known as winter
blahs) is much improved. I took myself off of the meds because of side
effects and have been feeling better. Starting Prozac on Sat. to help with
my sleeping problems.
To all the new members: Stay here, listen to Steve and the other “oldies”,
write out your Foundation Statements and ABC’s and before you know it you
will hardly think of smoking.
Bright Blessings
Char

26 Responses to “Checking In”

  1. Neva Marjory Says:

    Char - good to see you checking in here, and hearing how well things
    are going. Congrats! Hope to hear from you again soon,
    take care
    Pam
    — In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Charlotte Crothers” <char@c…

  2. Neva Marjory Says:

    Well today is day 54 and I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. It’s
    amazing to me the effect this accomplishment has on my self-esteem. I
    guess because I always believed that I would never be able to REALLY
    quit smoking. With the help of cog quit I have made it farther than I
    ever imagined. There is a new found strength I’ve discovered in
    myself the last few weeks and it has really changed the way I see
    myself and the world around me. The fog is clearing and I feel like
    I’m seeing and experiencing so much for the first time. While the
    desire to smoke does still exist and at times seems overwhelming I am
    better equipped now to deal with those desires.
    A couple of weeks ago I left out of town on my first vacation and
    road trip as a non smoker and was extremely proud of myself when I
    returned the same way. There were so many doubts and worries
    especially where the drive was concerned. In the past I would have
    chained smoked through the whole thing. Instead, I dealt with the

    cravings one by one as they came –and boy did they come– using the
    methods I’ve learned here. Then there was the week long stay with a
    chain smoker that I thought would weaken my defenses and make me
    break down and join her. To my surprise the urge to light up with her
    was minimal. Though I did found myself being envious at times, she
    smoked a really nasty brand and the smell was awful. Seeing the
    effort she had to put forth to breath when we would go hiking or
    swimming also encouraged me to maintain my quit.
    When I first quit smoking I rejoined the gym in hopes of curving the
    weight gain that commonly follows. When I would go to the gym as a
    smoker I couldn’t make it 15 minutes without struggling for air. Any
    physical activity really required my struggling to breath and usually
    meant I didn’t last long with whatever it is I was doing. I love the
    fact that today I am able to run, ride a bike, fly a kite, throw a
    frisbee, beat on my boxing bag (a fantastic ciggy craving reliever),
    dance, hike, etc..etc.. for extended periods of time without thinking
    I am going to die. My lungs still remind me after working out for a
    while that I was a smoker for 14 years but progress has definitely
    been made.
    My cravings or desires to smoke fluctuate from day to day and I
    continue to practice patience as I teach Warrenia a new way of doing
    things. She can be a slow learner at times, but today I’m filled with
    joy to be able to say that I am still a non-smoker. Thank you to this
    group for consistently sharing their trials and tribulations. I would
    not have made it this far without you.
    Blessings,
    Millisa

  3. Raleigh Missy Says:

    Very Well Done Mellisa :)) Good for you!
    Carry on pointing Warrenia toward the appropriate responses and you’ll
    soon see her taking even more of the load off your shoulders. Congrats on
    those 54 days.
    Steve

  4. Lester Sierra Says:

    Great Pam - nice to see your new site………..
    Jean

  5. Lester Sierra Says:

    Wishing you well Mellisa……… ::)))
    Jean

  6. pilar60 Says:

    Hi, all,
    Just checking in. I keep starting over, and keep working, and am not giving
    up. I do not want to write this to discourage any new quitters; but I am
    having a hard time. My husband and all my friends save 2 smoke. I am not back
    to my old habit; yet clearly realize I have not committed myself to the
    cogquit thinking in event/tempting situations yet. Especially when I KNOW
    they are going to take place! I’ll get through some, not through others.
    Never-the-less, I will not give up.
    Your posts are so encouraging, and thanks for them.
    –Harper

  7. Raleigh Missy Says:

    Hi Harper,
    Living and socializing with smokers can make it so much more difficult
    to quit. If you continue to work at trying to ‘direct’ what you’ll do in
    the known situations, I think you’ll find that you do begin to be able to
    control it better. Sometimes there’s an ‘incubation’ period as you think
    about this stuff and find ways to begin to insert it into your routines and
    awareness.
    Keep at it :) Steve

  8. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hi Harper - glad you’re still with us. Keep at it, it does ’stick’
    eventually, honest. Can we help?
    Pam

  9. Lester Sierra Says:

    Congrats for hanging in, Harper - not easy, I know…………….
    All I can offer is what worked for me………..
    When all else failed I turned to my foundation statement…………
    (my reminder that I wanted to live to see my grandchildren grown)
    Somehow it always kept me from giving in …….. :)))
    And gave me enough additional time to try to regroup my ABC’s……. :) It has been a while since the presence of other smokers created a
    problem for me
    but it did in the beginning - (and I have a couple of family members I
    did not want to avoid)….. :) I knew though, that they had tried to quit and failed - so I did not
    envy them………
    Perhaps you can find a new way to think of those who smoke in your
    “neighbourhood”. I suspect all of them wish they had even a few days
    in on a non-smoking quit……………

    Jean

  10. pilar60 Says:

    Hi, Pam,
    Thanks for your message. I am going to keep at it! Steve walked me through a
    lot of thoughts and issues and decisions the other day via a chat, and it
    helped me a lot. I’ve got some work yet to do, what with lists and ABCs. But
    he helped me decide to fish or cut bait, as it were.
    Thanks again!
    Take care,
    Harper

  11. pilar60 Says:

    Hi, Jean,
    Thanks for your reply. Via a chat the other day, Steve helped me work through
    some thoughts, decisions, and issues, and pointed out how important a
    foundation statement is. So I’m going to do the work and keep on working on
    it!
    Thanks again,
    Harper

  12. Aubrey Lynch Says:

    Hey Jean. Isn’t it great to set an excellent example for your family? I
    bet they think about quitting more than ever because you quit. It might
    take them a while to make a quit stick, but you encourage them by just
    simply not smoking. Believe me, I love being a good example…this is
    something that hasn’t happened much in my life ;-) - Cat

  13. Lester Sierra Says:

    I am enjoying this rather novel relationship, too, Cat……. :)))
    (I suspect not one of them thought I would last) :) Jean

  14. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hi there - for those of you who don’t know me, I quit almost 3 months
    ago, using cog quitting right from the very outset. I don’t post too
    often, I’ve been busy recently getting on with my smoke free life,
    but touch base with my quitcoaches, Pam and Steve, when I get online.
    I’m currenly on medication for depression which my GP and Specialist
    (who is an exsmoker) is certain is quit related. I’m getting the
    treatment which is applicable to my health condition - self
    medicating with NRT’s is not my choice nor is it appropriate.
    I’ve found the support and constructive advice here invaluable to get
    me to this stage of being quit - and don’t feel any need to be ‘on
    guard and vigilant’ for the rest of my life. I got so tired of that
    mentality over at other quitsmoking groups together with the ‘hang in
    there and drink oodles of water and … other stuff, and what a
    refreshing change it was to find solid tools here in Steve’s group,
    without all the BS I was encountering elsewhere on the Net. I would

    say to the newcomers here… take advantage of the solid experience
    and advice on offer here from very talented ppl who give much of
    their free time quietly giving support… and forget the hair
    splitting and semantics ;
    Corin

  15. mcmahon13 Says:

    In a message dated 3/26/2003 5:33:42 PM Eastern Standard Time,
    corin@… writes:
    self medicating with NRT’s is not my choice nor is it appropriate. Now, self
    medicationg I don’t think is the right terminology here. NRT’s are not
    considered medications, you do not need a prescription for it. Maybe your
    depression is also due to issues that you have not resolved as of yet. Can’t
    say. I don’t know. But, as long as you are doing what you think is best for
    you….that’s all that matters.
    Well, that other stuff and water and the hang in there attitude has helped
    many other’s who need just that one kindness, that one word, to help them.
    [Unable to display image]
    Dedicated to Clifford John Leahy
    Merchant Marine
    Praying For Your Safe Return
    [Unable to display image]

  16. Neva Marjory Says:

    Ari
    help them.
    … if the hang in there and hugging helps you, thats great…but we
    don’t do that here… but we do get much support and kindness which
    isn’t necessarily posted publicly, in email and chat very often.
    Plus, the tools to achieve a secure quit.
    Corin

  17. Neva Marjory Says:

    I’m not ‘deciding what’s appropriate’ for anyone. This is a focussed
    group who’s goal is to help ppl quit cognitively.
    3 months cognitively quit and active involvement in thr group (I
    don’t recall seeing much being offered by yourself)
    You are using antidepressants which indicates that you are having
    Oh really??? And what makes YOU qualified to judge me or my health??
    Are you a doctor/do you know me?
    Absolutely. And I don’t find your post and negativity acceptable.
    Have a nice day
    Corin

  18. Dominique Shellie Says:

    okay, i may be out of line here, but what’s going on? this is such a
    supportive, wonderful, non-judgemental group!!!! i couldn’t have quit
    otherwise (3 weeks today — thanks so much, steve and pam!!!!). i have to
    say how upsetting these negative posts are, and i’m really worried what
    impact they’ll have on newbies.
    my understanding is that cogquit is retraining what warren knows as
    appropriate behaviour, which puts the control in our hands. nrt’s are an
    aid, like water, exercise (knitting, in my case) of helping attain the
    end goal (smoke-free bliss). some folks need one thing, others need
    something else — hey, whatever it takes! the bottom line is you don’t
    smoke and lead a much happier existence.
    and again, i apologize if i’m totally out of line, but i couldn’t keep
    quiet any longer.
    peg.
    ps: congrats, corin!!! 3 months!!!!

  19. Kelvin Janessa Says:

    Hi Peg,
    You aren’t out of line at all. In fact, you’re understanding and
    sense of the group is right on the mark.
    Well done on your 3 weeks! Tell us how you are directing your quit.
    What ABCs seem to be working, what changes have you seen.
    thanks,
    Steve

  20. Dominique Shellie Says:

    hi all –
    oh my, things are so different now! as i said earlier, i was pretty
    brainless until my 2 week mark, and then about a week ago, i started
    being able to form the second part of a thought while still retaining the
    first part — wow! and now it seems my brain is actually working better,
    i.e., my memory has noticeably improved.
    i also seem to be more positive and happier. and although i’ve spent the
    last 30 years of my life as an insomniac, i now sleep nites, all nite,
    and feel absolutely wonderful when i get up in the morning!! another wow!!
    i’m managing to accomplish more in a day, and haven’t felt even remotely
    lethargic since i quit, and that was a feeling that had been plaguing me
    for a long time. as a matter of fact, it was one of the motivating
    factors to try another quit.
    i seem to be more aware of things that might cause me some grief, and
    i’ll find myself preparing an abc on the way to town, knowing a certain

    situation may pop up. and then it’s not until i’m on my way home again
    that i’ll realize warren helped me to handle the situation i was worried
    about so smoothly i wasn’t even aware of it! the abc’s are absolute
    magic, and i love them!!!
    and imagine, this is only 3 weeks quit — i’m excited about what the
    future has for me!! as an aside, i’m now working out daily, and am
    enjoying it. truly, i feel like the person i always thought was inside of
    me, but just couldn’t get out.
    i guess this almost sounds too good to be true — thank goodness it isn’t!!!
    peg.

  21. Raleigh Missy Says:

    Hi Corin,
    That freedom from fear may be one of the biggest benefits of a
    thinking quit. You’ve done well.
    Steve

  22. Neva Marjory Says:

    Momcatjo - Glad my tables could be of help. Be sure to personalize
    them heavily. Something in that process might help. I found
    motivation to do that hour or two of work partly from reading some
    posts on other forums, the ones where people who’ve been off smoking
    for months are still “battling inner demons”. That terrifies me, and
    helps me get working. I don’t want to hate and battle any part of
    myself (or anyone) for months or longer. I know it can’t be
    unavoidable.
    ionronrote - Thanks for all your posts here and elsewhere. I’m using
    you as one personal example for myself, in some respects. Hope that
    gives you some joy to know your quit is helping others, or at least
    one other.
    I’m working on timer exercises. I think I’ll get better at it with
    another day or two. I already see I’ve been mis-addressing feelings
    of thirst fairly often.

    Good day to all and thanks for the guidance.
    Mary

  23. Neva Marjory Says:

    Hi all - just checking in and providing some feedback. Mary’s
    spreadsheet for lists is a marvellous tool. I struggled for a while
    to picture how I would link the smoking to the emotion, to the
    physical, to the remedy. Mary’s spreadsheet does it beautifully.
    Also, went back to the ABC’s and re-read Phil’s post for feelings.
    All I could do was go “yeah right, right on, that’s how I feel, that
    makes sense”.
    Amazing how at different stages of the quit the same words have more
    significance or I have a greater understanding. Are others finding
    this true too?
    I’m at day 30 and proud of it! The longest I’ve ever kept a quit in
    over - let’s see - 33 years. Actually I’ve broken my record by 27
    days. No wonder I’m proud.
    Doing ABC’s in my head, planning on writing more down and wondering -
    Steve - why is the timer exercise so important? I feel kinda silly

    stopping my work to write something down in my little black book :-) Marlene

  24. Raleigh Missy Says:

    Hi Marlene,
    The timer exercise is a good way to learn to recognize individual and
    specific physical sensations after a ‘life time’ of blindly feeding every
    sensation a cigarette. I think your probably pretty aware of those
    sensations by now and can retire your little book :) Steve

  25. Latasha Rina Says:

    Just a quick hello to wish everyone, especially Steve and Pam, a happy,
    healthy, peaceful New Year. For all the newbies, this method works, folks.
    Do the work, it’s worth the effort, the benefits innumerable. I hardly ever
    think of smoking and when I do, it’s just to speculate. I have no urges
    because I’ve changed the responses to all the old triggers. Over 2 years
    quit and it’s hard for me to remember what it’s like to put a smelly smoke
    in my mouth. BTW, my sister, Bobbie, will be quit for two years in several
    months AND she’s lost over 75 pounds so far! All is possible with the right
    kind of thinking ;-) Later Gators,
    - Cat
    Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

  26. darrin10 Says:

    Hi all,
    I just wanted to check in and wave a quick hello. I am
    doing great this time and to be a non smoker becomes
    more and more part of my life.
    Thanks Steve, Pam for giving me all the tools and
    teaching me how to use them.
    I still work on ABC :-) and I got into the habbit to
    make a new one each time I need one so I come up with
    new ideas.
    However I gained lots of weight over the last month doc
    said is meds causing it and I have to watch what I am
    eating.
    Steve or Pam are you still coaching the cog diet group
    and could you please send me the link. I think I am
    strong enough now to take care of loosing some weight.

    Thank you for your help
    Carmen

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