Cognitive Quit Smoking

4 Responses to “Foundation???”

1. Neva Marjory Says:
   March 5th, 2004 at 6:40 pm

   Well, Jean , in my humble (yeh, right) opinion, it sounds like a perfect
   foundation statement to me. It’s simple, concise, cuts to
   the chase. Good job!!!
   - Cat

2. Raleigh Missy Says:
   March 6th, 2004 at 9:18 am

   Jean,
   I think it’s terrific. I love this part….
   If there are no instances where some discomfort could negate that truth,
   then I’d say you’ve got yourself a winner.
   Well done Steve

3. Lester Sierra Says:
   March 6th, 2004 at 4:45 pm

   I really do believe the above, Steve………….
   but perhaps - on behalf of anyone reading this………
   I should admit it is a very close call………….
   My son started a “quit” shortly after I did………
   and last week-end he drove me to a nearby “ticketmaster” -
   I purchased my tickets (2 to see/hear Pavarotti)
   while he waited at the door for me………..
   Outside the door were two or three smokers -
   and my son said - as I joined him - “poor bastards” -
   I wish I was out there with them!!!!!!!
   And for a minute I wished I was there as well……….
   But I knew that what I was really wishing for was not a cigarette…..
   but for just one more moment on the same wave length as my son……….
   I thought it was marvellous that I could look at him, and laugh
   ………
   
   and know that whatever we thought of as our nickodemons ………
   we were fighting the same battle………..
   I am on to formatting my ABC’s………..
   Jean

4. Neva Marjory Says:
   March 7th, 2004 at 2:10 pm

   Hi Jean.
   You said :-
   ” so on to ABC’s………. but I have to admit I am having a problem identifying a
   feeling……….
   (though - I then ask - if I can not identify - how do I distinguish -
   anger vs fear vs anxiety vs whatever?) ”
   Before I found cog quitting, all I knew was that if I was feeling
   uncomfy/angry/tense for any reason, the tried and tested solution
   was a cig. I didn’t look beyond those `feelings’. Those cigs
   completed some sort of cycle - they were the response to each and
   every event. Quite simply this would have been the the scenario:-
   A (activating event) My boss has just given me another pile of work
   to do - I haven’t even got time to do what’s already on my desk.
   B (my beliefs about that event) He knows I’m already sinking under
   
   the piles of paper - he’s doing this deliberately to wind me up/ he
   just wants to see me fall flat on my face and have an excuse to tell
   me to organise myself better/ its always me who’s got the extra work
   dumped on her etc etc etc My choices here are to either tell him
   what an idle son of a b he is and probably get the sack, slash the
   tyres on his car and face being prosecuted, or go outside and smoke
   a cig and get myself calm again.
   C (my consequent response) I’ll go smoke a cig to make me feel
   better
   Feeling angry in that situation got me physically tensed up -
   shallow breathing, knotted muscles in my chest and jaw, clenching
   and unclenching my hands. In another situation though, e.g. if
   something had got me very frightened or anxious, those same
   physical sensations would be there. So, it didn’t really matter
   then whether it was anger or fear or whatever that had caused it,
   the result was the same bunch of physical sensations. And each and
   every time the only solution Warren offered up that seemed to work
   was a cig - drawing deeply on the cig if I was angry, lots of
   shallow drags on the cig if I was anxious. I didn’t even have to
   work out consciously how to smoke that cig even, Warren sorted all
   that out for me.
   Going outside for a cig was in fact only about getting
   some `thinking’ time, to decide how I was going to handle the work
   scenario and deal with my boss. I’d stand outside smoking,
   consciously or subconsciously thinking out a strategy to deal with
   it all, believing to myself that a cig was `helping’ me to do it.
   I’d made that connection many times over the yrs, reinforcing it
   each time. Once I realised it really only was about needing some
   thinking time, walking away from the immediate situation and
   stretching my legs and taking some deep breaths, that connection to
   a cig was severed. I could stand back from the situation and plan
   out a sensible course of action instead - usually something along
   the lines of setting up a meeting with the boss to talk through my
   workloads and find solutions. Once I started to learn cog quitting
   I realised I was learning how to deal with life and how to come up
   with some more rational solutions to what life was throwing at me,
   rather than assuming that only a cig could `make it better’.
   Jump in with an ABC Jean - you’re well on the way with this Pam

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