The Ides of March - party time :)
Well, if he thought we were going to let this milestone slip quietly
past he’s very much mistaken ; Friday marks SIX YEARS QUIT for
Steve,and I reckon its a good reason for another party in Spinchat
this weekend :)) So - are you going to be around Steve, what time(s)
suit you best - and who’s bringing the cake?
Hope lots of us can meet up - regulars and lurkers all very welcome.
bye for now
Pam
March 10th, 2004 at 7:43 am
Sheesh - 6 years????????
There should be a way to send off rockets!!!
Jean
(70 days)
March 10th, 2004 at 2:46 pm
Hi all,
Here we go…..
Some of you are working at getting some lists together. The contents of
those lists are going to be the ‘data’ that gets plugged into ABCs. What
are ABCs?
Most people see their behavior as a direct response to something that
has happened.
Examples: - Someone cuts me off on the road, that angers me.
- Something goes wrong, that frustrates me.
To put this in smokers terms:
- I just got out of bed and can barely open my eyes. I
need a cigarette.
- I’m so angry I could bite through steel ! I REALLY need
a cigarette.
According to one group of behavioral scientists, the 2 step
‘event-response’ sequence is incomplete in that there is a step between the
event and our response where we make one or several statements to ourselves
about the event. In the 3 step scenario, all behavior can be organized
within an ABC template.
Behavior is a 3 step process involving:
A one activating event
B one or more criteria (beliefs / self talk statements)
C one response which is solely determined by the criteria in B
The ABC cognitive exercise is a graphic representation of 3 step behavior
model.
To actually write out an ABC diagram, take a piece of paper and draw 3
boxes, side by side and large enough to write a couple of sentences in
each. Label them, left to right, A, B, and C.
By way of example, lets say that an event has happened i.e. I’ve just
gotten out of bed in the morning and I’m groggy. To put this into an ABC
template, first I’d determine the event (A). In this case I’d write in A,
“I just woke up. I’m groggy. Then I’d determine what my beliefs (B) are,
keeping in mind that our beliefs and self talk are historically the same
each time a particular event or category of events are encountered. BTW,
initially this B step is the most difficult to fill in. However, with just
a bit of practice, it quickly becomes the easiest. This is because we
already know our beliefs and self talk statements. We’ve held those beliefs
and repeated those statements with almost every cigarette we lit through
all the years we smoked. It’s just that it all became so automatic so very
long ago that we simply no longer hear what we tell ourselves. If you’re
wondering how it is that a person can tell themselves something and not be
aware of the ‘conversation’, it’s a bit like living next to railroad tracks
or near an airport. Eventually, you stop being aware of the constant
sounds and notice them only on the occasions when they’re particularly
loud. It’s also in this forgotten and unheard area where concepts like
nicodemons and cigarettes as our best friend/lover/etc have their roots.
To get back to the exercise, examples of Bs might be “A cigarette has
always helped to wake me up. If I smoke one now I’ll feel better . at
least feel more awake.
It’s been 7 or 8 hours since my last cigarette, I need a nicotine fix NOW!”
The response (C), by the very nature and wording of the beliefs in B, will
be the experience, to some degree of intensity, of an urge to smoke.
Take another look at the sample statements in B:
1- A cigarette has always helped to wake me up.
2- If I smoke one now I’ll feel better . at least I’ll feel more awake.
3- It’s been 7 or 8 hours since my last cigarette, my addicted body needs a
nicotine fix NOW!
We’ve just finished telling ourselves that a cigarette is the correct
and effective response. Is there any reason, given these B statements, why
we would choose to do anything other than to want to light up?
At this point we’ve used the ABC template to graphically define how
we’ve gotten from one particular event to it’s established response.
To recap:
A (event) - just woke up and I’m groggy
B (beliefs) - nicotine has always been the fastest way to kick
start myself.
C (consequent response) - a strong urge to light up and be woken up
Most of us have heard, “If your actions produce the same results time
after time, and you want different results, then change your actions.” If
we accept that as fairly self evident, examining our statements in B and
re-evaluating those statements in light of a current awareness and our
present goals and desires will result in a response that addresses, and is
in keeping with, how we want to behave (foundation statements). Very
often, old established statements are outdated. They may or may not have
been accurate and true at some early point, but have long since become
forgotten and unheard. And other statements will still be accurate and
true, like the one about a cigarette ‘waking’ us up. However true it might
be, given our current goals, it isn’t an appropriate statement on which to
base a response.
To continue to use the ABC model, we’d draw another box under B and
label it B1, and one more under C labeled C1. Now we re-evaluate B and
write the changes in B1. B1 might become any or all of the following:
1- “A cigarette has always helped in the past, however, I’ve chosen to
quit and work toward regaining a natural and more healthy way to live
which includes getting up in the morning without the use of chemical
stimulants.”
2- “If I smoke one now I’ll not feel better, in fact I’ll probably
feel dizzy, nauseous, and I’ll have to deal with a sense of having failed
that will make all I’ve gone through so far pointless. Within moments of
lighting up I’ll be disappointed with myself.”
4- (if nicotine replacement is a quit aid, including nic patches if
they’re not worn at night) “It’s been some hours since my last nic fix and
my still addicted body ‘needs’ it’s fix. However, I’m using a nic
replacement program that will wean me from nicotine. Yes my body needs it’s
fix, but it’ll receive it in keeping with my program and in the proper dose
and delivery system.”
5- “Another way to come awake could be to take a shower, eat a
balanced breakfast that will provide energy for hours instead of the short
liven nicotine rush, maybe get a bit of exercise.”
Given these re-evaluated statements, the new C1 will be a rational and
cognizant choice. Personally, I’d go with:
C1 - “I’ll jump in the shower and then eat a decent breakfast.
Keep in mind that as long as we maintain awareness, we can feel lousy for
any number of reasons yet still make responsible choices.
Steve
www.cognitivequitting.com
March 10th, 2004 at 9:54 pm
Great idea - hope to be around part of the weekend. It’s been a
tough week, as some of you know, due to a family bereavement, and
although things are settling down a bit, plans are hard to make
right now. But….we’ll wait and see what Steve’s plans are - he
tells me he’ll be meeting up with one of the other dd’s. Over to you
Steve…..
UK Katie
March 11th, 2004 at 5:16 am
Sunday looks like the best time for me. mid afternoon EST?
www.cognitivequitting.com
March 11th, 2004 at 12:31 pm
THanks Marde sounds fine
www.cognitivequitting.com
March 11th, 2004 at 7:38 pm
3pm EST = 8pm UK time sounds good to me
Pam
March 12th, 2004 at 10:08 am
Looks good to me - hopefully I will be able to make it to this one as
I missed yours Pam
Indi