Comments on: The ABC that floored my MIL :)

By: jeffry_10

jeffry_10 — Sat, 01 May 2004 06:07:25 +0000

Thanks for the laugh Carla…now excuse me while I go clean out my
oven….bobbie

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Thu, 29 Apr 2004 00:24:30 +0000

Sorry - this was the repost that got lost yesterday. Just ignore
it Carla
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “carlacornwall”

By: jeffry_10

jeffry_10 — Wed, 28 Apr 2004 20:08:08 +0000

One of the best things that will help me is to keep on the zyban so no
thought of drinking will cross my mind. I do like the idea of having a place
outside for MIL….do you think the barn will do??????bobbie

By: jeffry_10

jeffry_10 — Wed, 28 Apr 2004 12:53:14 +0000

Congrats on your obviously effective ABC’s.My MIL is an ex-smoker, but hits
the martini’s at 3 PM and stays for over 2 weeks. Good thinking about
planning ahead before there is a confrontation. bobbie

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Tue, 27 Apr 2004 12:09:57 +0000

Actually you missed the point - this was an example of earlier
flawed thinking - the new ‘B’’s refute the old beliefs
Absolutely not so. Nicotine has left my system and my body no
longer physically craves it. As smokers we connected every uncomfy
feeling to the ‘relief’ a cig gave us. I am learning through Steve,
Pam and others here how to decode those sensations and treat them
appropriately.
smoking:
I read about people who have this idea they’re addicted for life
over at a quitsmoking site. I don’t subscribe to that theory,
personally.
physical urge.
Tobacco is a noxious substance. There are hundreds of toxins and
chemicals in a cig. Just telling myself that fact alone won’t, as I
stated before, give me tools to quit permanently.

Why should I do that? I’ve chosen not to smoke.
Tell me Michael - have you actually read about cognitive quitting at
Steve’s site? Do you understand what cognitive quitting is? Are
you ‘hanging in there’ hoping you don’t slip?
No further comment Carla

By: Raleigh Missy

Raleigh Missy — Tue, 27 Apr 2004 05:02:29 +0000

Gail,
You’re right, it shouldn’t. And actually, it doesn’t. Michael has
recently subscribed to the group, so in that sense is a participant. As for
being a rebel, I don’t know.
Steve

By: Ralph Glover

Ralph Glover — Mon, 26 Apr 2004 21:37:11 +0000

Hello Carla,
I am very glad that I was wrong and that the old ugly B is going away!
You know Carla, I wanted to tell you 2 weeks without smoking that’s long.
You are courageous.
My congratulations.
My aim is to help you to stay free from tobacco and nicotine.
I smoked very heavily for 20 years and I quitted several times for
extended periods.
It’s a shame to fail and I had to take the appropriate steps again and again.
My aim is not to struggle against you, I supposed that you needed
help and I am trying my best for helping and sharing my experience.
I know that I am very clumsy.
I want to apologize for being so clumsy but I want also to tell the truth.
I was lying to myself for 20 years.
Every day I was telling myself:

this cigarette will help me,
smoking will relax me,
I will feel good when smoking,
That wasn’t true, that were not recurrent errors, that were lies.
I didn’t realize that I was lying to myself, I see it only now after I quitted.
I wanted to feel good and in fact when smoking I was seldom having a
feeling of well-being.
Smoking for such a long period was very stupid.
I don’t know if I am slipping.
Cognitive quitting is a remedy.
You are not forced to use ONLY one remedy if the drug you really need
is in your pharmacy.
You will see later how hard it is to stay quit for long years….
My sister smokes also at home.
I didn’t take gloves with her.
I told her simply that she stinks a lot.
Now she smokes only near the extractor hood.
–
Michael

By: Raleigh Missy

Raleigh Missy — Mon, 26 Apr 2004 14:32:39 +0000

Well done Carla, very well done. It’s amazing how altering some of the
elements of an event (ash trays outside instead of inside, ‘no smoking’
signs, …) will alter the mental dialogs which resuts in very different
responses. I’m scooting off to work now, but I’ll write abit more about
this ABC later today.
Steve

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Mon, 26 Apr 2004 07:10:19 +0000

Thanks Marde and everyone for the congrats.
This is down to much patient coaching from Steve and Pam, helping me
get my head around cog thinking and doing ABC’s - and boy is it
paying off.
Carla
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Marde Tibbets”

By: Neva Marjory

Neva Marjory — Sun, 25 Apr 2004 23:55:24 +0000

Hi Michael - you said
nope, I didn’t actually say that the issue here was an
inconsiderate mother in law who has little respect for other ppl’s
wishes. I have decided that smoking is a no-no in my home now, and
ppl close to me respect that. It has nothing to do any attraction
toward tobacco and tobacco smell.
Actually, yes, I do realise it is harmful, but this isn’t a solid
tool to help me quit. A cognitive quit is about understanding an
urge for what it is, and addressing it appropriately. That urge
manifests itself in a physical way - shallow breathing, tight muscles
in the neck, etc - and dealing with those sensations is what actually
defuses that ‘urge’. Learning how to anticipatee those urges by
working proactively to plan out dealing with trigger situations is
what is helping me quit - not telling myself simply that tobacco is
noxious.

Using nicotine gum is only appropriate if my body is needing
nicotine. At 2 weeks detoxed and nicotine free it isn’t an
appropriate response to any urges I might be feeling (see above) any
longer.
Carla
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “michael.havlicek”