OK - I get it now!
I’ve been to cognitivequitting.com and have read about behavior
modification. Yes. It all makes perfect sense, so I’ll give it a
try. I haven’t quit yet, but I will. I’m not prepared to set a quit
date at this time. If/When I decide to set a quit date, I will
probably keep it private. It feels like too much pressure when other
people know that I am “supposed” to quit on a certain date. I’ve
tried that and failed, feeling that I had not only let myself down
but everyone else as well. Publicized quit dates do not work for me.
Now a bit of personal stuff. I have been a smoker for far too long –
40 years to be exact. It’s time for me to quit. In a sit-com the
other night, I heard a young woman say to an older man, “You’re too
old to smoke.” So! It has come to that, has it? While I don’t think
people should smoke at any age, I suppose it is especially dangerous
for us oldies to smoke, what with our risk for heart attacks and
strokes and all those other fun things.
I quit smoking at the beginning of the year, thinking it really
wasn’t a New Year’s resolution but my resolve to really quit. I made
it 5 weeks before I fell. Ever since then, I have been trying to pick
myself up to begin a new quit, but I have not been successful.
My husband would love it if I quit. He really hates to see me ruining
my health, as do I. We’ve been married forever, and if I precede him
in death, I would kill him if he married someone else! LOL!
Seriously, I want to be able to spend my so-called golden years with
my husband, and I want to be healthy. We want to travel and have fun.
We’ve raised two daughters, paid mortgages and insurance premiums all
our married life. We’re finally getting to the point that we’ll be
able to take it a little easier. I don’t want to ruin it all by being
dead!!! Or worse — too ill to enjoy our time together.
Anyhow, here I am, for better or worse, willing to give this a go and
hoping, praying really, that it will be the answer.
May 14th, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Hi Poemcrazy,
I can totally relate to the not wanting to publicize your quit. I
have done that 3 times in the last 4 months and every time the
pressure got to me. The worst was when after less than one week not
smoking my boss planned a big celebration for me and scheduled it for
the next month! Talk about pressure. I caved, faked it, and felt
horrible. Now I have only two people I share with. They are totally
supportive and I feel no pressure with them. They just offer their
shoulders and don’t judge where I am in the quit process. And it is a
process, I’ve learned. That is why I am trying this method. Willpower
is not enough baby! You and I both know that, so let’s give it a try.
I just started - am currently on Day 4. Glad to see you here!
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “poemcrazy2002x”
May 15th, 2004 at 3:42 am
I agree. Especially since I have none. Fortunately, willpower isn’t
necessary if you aren’t lighting up because, based on new aware thinking,
it doesn’t make sense. This is very different than not lighting up because
we are trying to ‘just not smoke’ for long enough for not smoking to become
‘comfortable’. That process over that amount of time requires tremendous
willpower.
Start thinking about some of your routine events and what specific
thoughts/inner statements/assumptions you use to support the historic
choice to light up. Then introduce some additional beliefs that are more
current or valid given your ‘foundation statements’ and watch how you will
automatically turn toward those choices because they make sense. I’m
grateful it has little to do with willpower or I’d probably still be smoking.
Steve
May 15th, 2004 at 10:49 am
Ok - here’s one of Steve’s ‘lists’ posts (message 2491)- it’s going
Steve
into the Files section as there was some good discussion around it
at the time. I’ll add more as I find them:-
Hi all,
Lists help us collect and categorize. There are several that are
helpful to quitters. The generally accepted wisdom is make a list of
‘reasons to quit’. While you’ve heard me talking of ‘quit reasons’
lately,
there really is only one critical list as far as I’m concerned and
that’s a
list of ‘reasons why and when you smoked’. List times, events,
locations,
and activities. Why? Because most of those times, events, locations,
and
activities are connected to routine daily life and have only a
secondary or
associated connection to smoking. The times, events, situations, and
activities that *were* your ‘triggers in the past will be the very
same
triggers of urges and smoking thoughts in the future. Since we CAN
NOT
avoid every trigger, nor do we want to try that route, examine your
past,
make a list, and you’ll be armed to prepare for the future. For
those of
you who thing you dont need to prepare and can handle it ‘on the
fly’,
trust me, it’s very much to your benefit to be prepared for simple
events
that are a consistant part of your daily routines. Some of you who
are quit
for several months or more will back me up on this. Indi? Cat?
Others who
have discovered the advantages of preparation rather than ‘winging
it’?
Lets hear from you.
www.cognitivequitting.com
May 16th, 2004 at 1:19 am
Hi, and welcome from me too. I’m glad you found us, and are
interested in exploring cognitive quitting. I found Steve’s site a
little over 15 months ago, and like you it made a lot of sense.
With support and guidance from Steve and others here I have now been
comfortably quit for 14 months, and can’t envisage any situation or
event whereby smoking would be a logical option ever again.
There are some member introductions in the ‘Files’ section so you
can find out more about some of us too, along with links to previous
posts eg about ABC’s.
Please holler if you need help or any explanations. Many of us use
ICQ, MS or AOL Messenger to chat things through, and details are in
the Files section if you’d like to connect with any of us.
All the best!
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “poemcrazy2002x”