Limping along
Hi all,
Still here, Day 9 today. Feeling like things are getting a bit rough,
but I’m hanging in. I know that cog quitting is supposed to be an
alternative to just ‘hanging on’ and I was doing well thinking things
through. I think I am letting myself feel sorry for myself, you know
the ‘it’s not fair’ feeling. I feel a general low grade anxiety
almost all the time. Nights are still the very worst, and with the
weekend approaching I was hoping for some reinforcement from my
newfound support group. I am holding my foundation statement to
heart. And one of you had a post that voiced my opinion EXACTLY - “I
don’t want one cigarrette, I want ALL of them” I have played this
little phrase over and over in my mind, and it has helped. I know
that a cigarrette is not the answer, it’s just that I’m still looking
for the right answer! Feeling better, now that I got that off my
chest, promise to send more positive thoughts soon.
Chelle
May 26th, 2004 at 8:05 am
Hi chelle…………..
Just wanted to send good wishes…………..
Have absolutely NO good advice……….
but I think the people here have a good handle on the way to confront
our addiction……..
(I admit I just quit - held on - and bit down until the pain went
away!!!!!!!!)
(and then discovered cog quit !!!!!!)
still wishing I had found them earlier………..
Good Luck
Jean
May 26th, 2004 at 3:01 pm
Hi Chelle, maybe I should have introduced myself before I just jump
Your post just really rings a bell
right in, but… oh well.
here. Nights were always the worst for me, too. I would sit at the
computer here and get more and more tired, but somehow feel unable to
go to bed.
In my case, the anxiety was nothing more than the absence of
something I was used to doing - bedtime was a prime smoking time for
me. I’d always have one (or two, or three) to get the nicotine level
up before retiring for the night. Long after I didn’t need the
nicotine any more, I’d just have an ‘empty’ feeling like there was
something missing. Once I realized that the only thing missing was
running out to have that smoke, and the ‘anxiety’ was a non-directed
frustration at not doing what I was accustomed to, I was able to take
action.
What helped me was (mostly) just to recognize what it was. Also to
keep from getting too tired, because the more tired I’d get, the more
the ‘paralysis’ would grow. I’d keep an eye on the clock and when
bedtime rolled around, get up and go to bed. Replacing it with
another ‘ritual’ helps too, but it takes a little time to establish
the new one. Until then, just recognize the anxiety for what it is,
and laugh at yourself if you can. (Laughing at myself has always been
one of my most effective ‘weapons.’ <G
Ain’t THAT the truth?? I used that line on myself a lot too.
Take care,
Nyniane
May 26th, 2004 at 10:16 pm
Hi nyniane,
That is exactly how I feel. And though I don’t have an answer for it
yet, it really helps to know someone else feels the SAME thing. Thank
you for the encouragement.
One of my co-workers today told me it take three weeks to establish a
habit. And in the SmokeEnders book, it says to make a new habit, one
must practice that habit WITHOUT EXCEPTION until the new habit is
ingrained. This has helped me to not light that first cigarette. As
the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do”. If this were easy, we
wouldn’t be here. But, as another co-worker tells me, “IT IS SO WORTH
IT!
May 27th, 2004 at 5:31 am
Hi Nyniane - good to see you’ve joined us here
(I post as PamH
over at About.com). Tell us more about yourself - can’t just recall
how long you’ve been quit. Explore the files section and you can see
some of the member introductions as well as links to earlier posts in
the archives arranged in topics.
Gotta dash - I’m logged in at work and my gaffer is hovering…….
take care
Pam
May 27th, 2004 at 12:53 pm
Hi Chelle,
You’ve said it correctly, “I was doing well thinking things through.”
It’s easy to fall into the ‘victim’ posture. Specially when we’re feeling
not so great, the quit is becoming a bit of a grind, somehow just getting
through the next day seems a daunting task. We are NOT victims. We chose
this path for excellent reasons. Those reasons, our foundation
beliefs/statements, are just as valid regardless of how we ‘feel’. 1- We do
not want to be smokers. 2- We accept that there are no acceptable reasons
to light up. 3- We’re prepared to be uncomfortable and still choose a
rational response.
Chelle, if you look back through some of the older posts, you’ll see
that there are times when others have hit a ’slump’ of sorts. It almost
always coincides with a easing off of proactive thinking about the quit. If
we aren’t being proactive in our thinking, then we’re going to be reacting
to our feelings and that can, too easily, result in this feeling of ‘poor
me, it’s not fair’.
Suggestions…. get outside as early in the day as you can and walk
for a while. That will help set your ‘mood’ for the rest of the day. Do at
least one ABC every day. The more you do, the better. Even if it’s not a
great ABC, just actively thinking along those lines sets the stage for
feeling in charge. Post here. Every post helps all of us. Get ICQ or MSN
messenger and be in touch with other cog quitters. Sometimes the instant
contact can be a life saver.
Hope some of this helped,
Steve
msn - ddsteve@…
ICQ - 360581
May 27th, 2004 at 8:08 pm
Hi Nyniane,
I’m glad you’ve joined us.
Evenings and bedtime are too often primary stress periods and I believe
that it’s because of fatigue. I mentioned this fatigue issue in a reply to
Jean a few days ago. Fatigue is a state of being that aggravates and
exaggerates every other negative sensation we’re experiencing. I think
that setting a time to head to bed and sticking to that time might be a
great way to minimize some of the stress of the evenings.
Steve
May 28th, 2004 at 3:35 am
Hi Steve………..
Bottom line - we need to lean on our foundation statements…………..
Think you are right about evenings and fatigue…..and a measure of
vulnerability…..and have been doing my best to get some kind of
routine going in order to minimize same…….
I readily admit, though, that I have been a “nighthawk” all of my life -
and as far back as I can remember lived in those hours after dark when
no one required anything of me - and I could bury my nose in a book - or
my heart in a daydream - without fear of being confronted by
reality…… :))
Hope things are going better for you, Nyniane…………
I know I have been weeping and wailing in the group this past week
………
perhaps because I feel things should be better after 4 months……….
………….
but bottom line I am not so sure we who have a couple of months behind
us are much better offf than any “newbie”……..
we all hurt, we have all given up a so-called “friend”, and we all need
re-programming……
“I can choose to smoke - or I can choose to live - and I choose LIFE”
Jean
May 28th, 2004 at 10:30 am
Hi all,
Thanks for the feedback on my “Limping Along” posts. I think Steve
was right when he said that we have to be proactive in our thinking
and not allow ourselves to ease off. I definately had a ‘woe is me’
kind of day, wanted to find some way out of this quit. In the end, I
held to my foundation statement and felt very proud of myself. Having
got that off my chest turned things around and Friday was almost
effortless in comparison. I was again in control. I think this must
be what is described by many as the ‘rollarcoaster’ experience of
quitting. My hope is that through cog quitting, my rollercoaster will
eventually become a ‘kiddie ride’.
I don’t think it was on this site, I think it was another site (where
DID my memory go - it was here yesterday!) someone recommended the
site www.psycharts.com. I found it extremely helpful - haven’t had a
chance to read through it all yet. Seems to follow RET principles.
Are you familiar with this site, Steve? I’d like your opinion. Have a
great weekend everyone.
1 week, 3 days, 12 hours, 33 minutes
Chelle
May 28th, 2004 at 5:45 pm
Hi all,
Thanks for the feedback on my “Limping Along” posts. I think Steve
was right when he said that we have to be proactive in our thinking
and not allow ourselves to ease off. I definately had a ‘woe is me’
kind of day, wanted to find some way out of this quit. In the end, I
held to my foundation statement and felt very proud of myself. Having
got that off my chest turned things around and Friday was almost
effortless in comparison. I was again in control. I think this must
be what is described by many as the ‘rollarcoaster’ experience of
quitting. My hope is that through cog quitting, my rollercoaster will
eventually become a ‘kiddie ride’.
I don’t think it was on this site, I think it was another site (where
DID my memory go - it was here yesterday!) someone recommended the
site www.psycharts.com. I found it extremely helpful - haven’t had a
chance to read through it all yet. Seems to follow RET principles.
Are you familiar with this site, Steve? I’d like your opinion. Have a
great weekend everyone.
1 week, 3 days, 12 hours, 33 minutes
Chelle
May 29th, 2004 at 1:00 am
Hi Chelle - glad to hear that things improved for you - as you said,
being proactive in our thinking makes a huge difference.
As Steve mentioned, chat with other quitters - especially at those
tough times - can be a godsend. Did you sort out your ICQ (maybe
reinstalling it would help) or get MSN Messenger? My ICQ # is
142898919, so let me know if you want to hook up.
bye for now
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “chelle_68″ <michelle2_1997@y…
May 29th, 2004 at 8:15 am
Thanks, Pam,
I will put that on my to do list. I think I will have to reinstall
ICQ. Do you or anyone else have a preference for ICQ or MSN?
Chelle
May 29th, 2004 at 3:30 pm
Chelle - some of us use one or more Chat programmes - I use ICQ (my
)
personal favourite), AOL Messenger and MS Messenger. (Can’t you
just tell I’m a real chatter
I’m in the UK which is 5 hours ahead of EST - am not sure which time
zone you’re in, but we manage to find a way round the time
differences and find a time to hook up.
Hope you get ICQ sorted out. Incidentally there’s a file with
contact details in, in the Files section.
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “chelle_68″ <michelle2_1997@y…
May 30th, 2004 at 1:15 pm
Hey, Chelle, glad to hear that this weekend is going better for you
(well, as of yesterday, I’m optimistic that today is going well also).
Quitting is definitely a ticket to the rollercoaster of emotions.
Keeping a focus on your ABC’s will help you thru the rough times. It’s
hard sometimes but, before you know it, you’ll be on that kiddie ride!!
- Cat
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “chelle_68″ <michelle2_1997@y…
May 30th, 2004 at 8:30 pm
Hey, Chelle, glad to hear that this weekend is going better for you
(well, as of yesterday, I’m optimistic that today is going well also).
Quitting is definitely a ticket to the rollercoaster of emotions.
Keeping a focus on your ABC’s will help you thru the rough times. It’s
hard sometimes but, before you know it, you’ll be on that kiddie ride!!
- Cat
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “chelle_68″ <michelle2_1997@y…