Hi
,
this last hour I’ve been working over my “anxiety”. I drank tea, I’m chewing
gum, I just came back of walking…and still…I feel “anxiety”. Of course my
first response is “it’s because i don’t smoke”. Afterwards I think: “perhaps
even smoking I would feel this awful feeling”.
When I read your messages it seems to me that everyone can think about, or go
for a walk , or “do something” and that “right away” feel better.
I wanted to ask you if your experience is that with time, this moments are more
tolerable . If afterwards, you don’t think “directly” about smoking. I suppose
(and read in the messages) that this is easier for you, because I found that
cogquit is very , very useful ; but I’m suffering a lot.
Perhaps I’m suffering a lot because I ‘m doing it harder for me : I don’t smoke
a few days…I buy cigs. I smoke two in a day…I throw them. I pass some more
few days…I ask for one. I think this is the worst !!!!
I need ,please, your help for changing this “stupid” way of quitting. Or
perhaps, this is the way I can finally quit?. I really don’t know.
By the way, I want to tell you that my anxiety disappear while writing . Aleluya
!
I know that finally everybody can find what he needs. But once I quit for 9
months. It was really painful for me, and finally I smoked again (after so much
work!!!). I ‘m afraid that this will happen to me again, and I when I feel
really bad…I buy or I smoke…and afterwards I go on with my quit.
Thank you for sharing with me this difficult moments !!!
Regards.
Silvia
June 20th, 2004 at 2:08 am
Silvia - you said
this really is a ‘thinking
Absolutely, yes. The key things here are that your body is
constantly going to be in a state of withdrawal (with all the
accompanying symptons) if you smoke occasionally; also, working on
your smoking behaviour is nigh impossible if you respond sometimes
to stresses and triggers by smoking. Trying to quit this way is
going to be a long painful process again for you.
The ‘doing something’ is about addressing the ‘need’ of the moment
in a more appropriate way than smoking, and one that meets that need
of that moment. It does take time to listen to our bodies and work
out what it is we need when we think only a cig will do the trick.
You’ll feel better right away if you’ve worked out what’ll help you
in that moment. So, if you’re feeling irritable and think only a cig
can help - what does irritable feel like? physically? shallow
breathing maybe, muscle tension in the neck and shoulders? anything
else? For yrs probably you - and all of us most probably -
connected the so-called relief a cig gave us with that discomfort.
This is where addressing the need of the moment in a more
appropriate way comes in - some breathing and stretching exercises
will help ‘treat’ those symptons much more effectively than a
lungful of smoke from a cig.
It took me time and practice to be ablt to recognise what I was
feeling and what it was that I needed. With practice it became
automatic, and that meant that I stopped thinking ‘I need to
smoke’. I don’t connect cigs with those feelings any more.
writing . Aleluya !
Maybe sitting down and writing and focussing your thoughts ‘did it’.
You were saying that you’d drunk tea, chewed gum and been out
walking, but still felt anxious. What did your anxious feel like?
And what do you think it was about writing that helped that anxiety
to disappear?
Sorry to fire so many questions at you
quit’. There aren’t any magic answers or solutions and no quick
fixes. It really is about listening to ourselves and our bodies,
and finding what works for us to help us deal with all those moments
and events that make up our days, those moments that used to have us
flying off for our smokes.
take care
Pam
PS Have you worked on a Foundation Statement yet for yourself?
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Silvia Wajnbuch” <silviawr@i…
June 24th, 2004 at 10:14 pm
Hi Sylvia,
Are you sure you’re not confusing ‘being ready to quit’ with the
‘ability to carry on without smoking’? They aren’t necessarily the same
thing. In past quit attempts, most of us threw away our cigarettes and did
our best not to pick another up…. for as long as we could hold on.
First there was detox, that’s a fairly short term and usually foggy
experience much like a really bad flu. Assuming we get through the first
few days and through detox, and we expect that the quit will get easier.
Toward the end of the first week, with the return of some degree of
thinking and no cigs in sight to deal with the growing anxiety and stress,
it usually gets harder. And it can get harder still toward the end of the
second week, as the effort begins to grind and wear us down and the
‘easier’ that we’d hoped for just isn’t happening. This is part of the
territory for most quitters regardless of how they quit.
However, after the first few days, most of what we have to deal with is
the behavior we established where we would feel some discomfort (everything
that goes with the first few weeks of a quit) and want to reach for a cig
to relieve the discomfort. The reasons why, the perceived benefits, and a
list of other points in the smoking pattern are all food for other posts.
My point here is just that we usually don’t suddenly acquire the ability to
hang on and not smoke. While many of us try quitting many times before we
succeed, that’s usually because we learn very little from each failure. I
think that in the early part of a quit many of the stresses we feel are
associated with either our reasons for wanting to light up or the
consequences of not lighting up. The fastest way to find some relief and
get the quit going easier is to start to do something active to get
involved in your smoking process which is: feeling an event, believing
something about it (that a cigarette will help), and associating the
standard response(an urge to light up).
You don’t need to be quit to start to put together tools for a quit.
Have you worked out some foundation statements for you? BTW, you can still
be smoking and have foundation statements. We all have them all the time
about many things. They are always ‘what we really want’, and somewhere
deep inside, we usually know what we really want. Some time ago I
suggested that you try to make notes in a list or journal several times a
day regarding what you were feeling, where, and how. These ‘feelings’
could be anything from hunger to anger to boredom to cold. How did that
work out for you? Those feelings that you experience are the events that
set off urges to smoke.
What about the rest of you newbies and any of you longer term
quitters who feel you need to revitalize your quit? Have you worked out or
reviewed your foundation statements?
Lets start a list …. 3 times a day, stop, take 30 seconds, make a
note in a journal or notepad that names what you’re feeling at that moment.
The reason for this is that most of us are fairly oblivious, on a conscious
level, of what it is we feel. Our urges to smoke are born of our routines
and what they involve on both an external and internal level. The sooner we
understand and are aware of our feelings during routine times of our day,
the sooner we can begin to apply some techniques to change established
patterns.
If it’s early in the day do you feel the need to come alive, to wake up,
to kick start the brain? Later on is it fatigue from hrs at work, or did
you not eat breakfast so your body is dragging, have you been drinking
coffee and/or using sugar? Different times during a day can have
characteristic sensations. Note how and where in your body you feel these
sensations i.e. stomach, shoulders, neck jaw, hands.
In another day or two, we’re going to tackle some ABCs. If you’ve
collected a few of your more common ‘feelings’ into a list, you’ll have a
big part of the info you’ll use to flesh out your ABCs.
Quitting is hard work. We can make it much easier with a few foundation
statements and a short list of what we feel during a routine day. Try it.
June 25th, 2004 at 5:41 am
Just wanted to wish you well, Silvia………….
Best wishes, Silvia…………
My own experience was that I had to feel that a quit was NECESSARY
………
(look in doctor’s eyes when she advised me I should)
I had tried several times before with little success…….
but this time seemed a little different……..
(perhaps I HAD absorbed my doctor’s concern)……….
I really never felt myself capable of quitting,
but before I knew it a couple of days, and then a couple of weeks, had
passed……..
and I found myself feeling tremendously pleased with
myself…………….
WOW!!!!!!! (after that I could NOT give up - and I have lasted to this
point 150 days!!!!!)
I admit it is not clear sailing……………but every time I feel an
urge to smoke I try to identify the trigger that caused the urge - and
try to consider an alternative reaction…….
I admit I am still learning (my backup reaction is one Werther’s
Original - and I have to admit each one has increased my waist size)
Jean
June 26th, 2004 at 4:27 am
Steve,
I agree 100% in what you, Pam, Cat and Jean told me.
You wrote:
“Lets start a list …. 3 times a day, stop, take 30 seconds, make a
note in a journal or notepad that names what you’re feeling at that moment.”
I didn’t do my “homework” (because you told me to do this before), but I began
to do it today.
I keep in touch and I’ll write back!
Thanks again.
I really don’t want to give up.
Silvia
June 26th, 2004 at 10:22 am
Great to hear this Silvia :)) Looking forward to hearing how it’s
going for you.
take care
Pam
— In CognitiveQuitSmoking@y…, “Silvia Wajnbuch” <silviawr@i…
June 26th, 2004 at 5:44 pm
Good for you Sylvia. You’re going to begin to see changes very soon.
Steve
May 1st, 2005 at 2:37 am
Guess I missed everyone in spinchat. Have not posted for a while-
got good news today- all the results of all my tests are negative-
the cancer is confined to the lung- so after a bit of radiation and
chemo as a precaution I will have part of the lung removed and the
outlook looks great. Feel like I have been given a second chance-
have been quit since 11/22- still feel kind of rocky after a week in
the hospital (w/ pneumonia) but that will get better. Cog quit has
helped a lot- though amazingly, I still get cravings- hope they will
stop- are not as frequent and easier to get through- hope to talk in
spinchat some time- thanks to all for all the support.
Diana
June 25th, 2005 at 7:59 am
this is my first time here. I quit on jan. 1, 2003…kinda late
tonight,so i will check in tomorrow
April 21st, 2006 at 11:27 pm
, everyone. I think I posted here before. I have known of this site
for a couple of years now. I made up my foundation steps, ABCs and
lists a long time ago. But only had the courage to make a serious
attempt to quit a week ago. And now, I have been quit for 7 days. The
foundation Statements really help because the arguments I have with
myself about whether to light up are stressing enough to make me want
to light up. But, with the foundation statements, I have the truth
and I can’t trick myself out of it or reason my way into having a
cigarette. I absolutely love these steps and have signed up for the
workshop. Something I was wondering is whether or not anyone has
ever tried having a face 2 face support/workshop based on cognitive
quitting? I think that would be fabulous and would actually love to
try one in my town. Anyway, thank you to whoever came up with this
and for everyone keeping this site up.
Shelly
April 22nd, 2006 at 2:23 am
Rachelle,
I agree with you, that would be great if someone would start an
actual quitting support group. But, I’ve noticed that there are no
support groups for quitters anywhere…they’re only on the web. I
think it’s outrageous.
Well, congrats on the 7 days.
Take care,
Slvrymoon (sunny)
April 22nd, 2006 at 10:11 am
Shelly,
I agree with you that a real life cognitive quitting workshop would
Steve
be beneficial. What town are you in? Do you know of about 6-10 others
who would be interested in a workshop?
June 1st, 2006 at 7:31 pm
everybody, I feel like a professional quitter when it comes to
smoking. I have quit several times for as long as six months only
to crumble….. I am 38 years old and have smoked for 9 years. I
could use some help. Thanks
Dean
October 20th, 2006 at 11:53 pm
everyone, I’m new to this site. I have been quit for 6 days. I
have quit so many times in the past, I pray this is my last one. I
definately want this to be. Take care.
Charles
November 18th, 2006 at 2:00 am
everybody, I’m new to this site, I quit smoking 3 weeks ago, but
this past week, I’ve slipped 4 times. After reading the info on the
cognitive quit smoking site, I feel better prepared. I’ve reset
my “gadget” on another site which I think mentally helps when I can
look and see how many days, hours etc. I’ve been quit. I was using
the gum to help, but my slips were not due to craving nicotine but
due
to my “habit”. I’ve written out the foundation statements and am
going to keep a copy with me. I’ve started trying to sketch out some
ABCs and have started the time sheet. I’m not ready to give up this
quit and am still optimistic I can succeed given the right tools. I
must say this site was well written, informative, and one of the few
that deals with the behavioral aspects of quitting and not just
saying
to hang tough it will get easier. I’ve been a smoker for 32 years
and
have tried numerous ways to quit. I have seen first hand what
smoking
can do as I lost my husband last year to lung cancer. So I’m back in
the saddle with a few more tools in my belt and ready to continue on
this journey. Gerri
November 18th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Gerri,
Youv’e got a great attitude, I too smoked for 32 years, this time I was
ready to quit and luckily for me I found this cognitive quit site. what a
Godsend
for me, I have done it and I have not had any nicotine for Three months,
one week, two days, 18 hours, 49 minutes and 30 seconds. 2494 cigarettes not
smoked, saving $523.65. Life saved: 1 week, 1 day, 15 hours, 50 minutes.
This does work and helped to make this time an easy quit. The difference is
the knowledge and the tools we now have, sometimes I am mad that i waited so
long. I feel great, like a new person, no more wheezing,& lots of
energy,,,now its time to shed the extra pounds, I hope 3 months is long enough
for my
metobalism to straighten itself out, and hopefully I can use some of these
tools to help keep the food out of my mouth:).
Best Regards, Mary Rose
February 10th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
,
I just found this group this morning. I had my first day as a non-smoker
yesterday and it was a bit rough.
I have been smoking for 20+ years over a pack a day for the most of it. In the
last year I have cut it down to between 1/2 - 3/4 of a pck/day.
Right now I am using the patch. There are certain times that are very difficult
for me and others not so bad.
I really don’t want to smoke anymore. I want to be a nonsmoker, I just don’t
want to do the quitting part!!8-} It makes me crazy!!
Anyway…Look forward to chatting,
Heather
April 14th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
everyone, it’s been a while since I posted. I have quit many times
since I’ve joined this forum. This quit has been my longest, 4.5
months now. It was pretty easy, at first, but lately it’s been very
hard. I am very familiar with the cognitive quit methods. Does living
without smoking get any easier after a certain time? I just get tired
of the battle lately in my head, smoke or not to smoke. And in the
past it would just be easier to give in than the keep up the battle.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sunny
June 24th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
my name’s jen
it is officially 4 days since my last cigaret. I drink alot of herbal
tea to stay calm. try to relax. BUT i can’t stop thinking about smoking
and cigarettes. I quit once before for 5 years but then life got to me.
i’m spending $5 a day on average (that’s almost $2000 per year), can’t
breathe (have asthma), and my kids are always complaing about my
smoking. And yet still I can’t stop thinking about cigarette\s and
smoking. it’s constant.
June 24th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Hi Jen,
Welcome to the group. Congrats on your 4 days.
Jen, here’s why telling yourself cigarettes are bad doesn’t help you think
about them less or crave them less… because your body is telling you that
it has some very specific needs and you’re not giving it anything that will
deal with those needs.
By way of explanation, picture this… you’ve quit, you’re several days
off of cigarettes and the change in nicotine level is creating all sorts of
withdrawal symptoms (this happens even if you use the patch, there’s a 3-4
day initial adjustment). Those withdrawal symptoms, if you’re like everyone
else (and most of us humans are like other humans where a particular
chemical is involved), include tension in your neck and shoulders and
maybe your jaw, shallow breathing to the point that you may also be holding
your breath, and a tight knotted feeling in your stomach. There are others,
but these are the most common body cues that come with quitting. Up until
now, any time your body experienced those body cues of tension and shallow
breathing, there was an automatic association to smoke. That was
established long ago when you first became addicted to nicotine and you
‘learned’ that a cigarette was the best way to relieve the discomforts of
being too long without a cigarette. That sounds pretty obvious, and it was.
Smoking became your automatic and immediate response to any body cues that
suggested withdrawal.
Now that you’ve quit and are feeling ‘withdrawal’, your body is saying
“Gimme a cigarette!!” because it knows of no other response that works. So
it’s up to you to provide something else. The only thing I know of for
tense muscles is some simple stretching. The only cure for shallow
breathing is taking some deep breaths. Just telling yourself that smoking
isn’t good for you doesn’t help the muscle tension or the breathing. See
where this is going? In the same way, a hobby doesn’t help deal directly
with those physical needs. Nor does drinking herbal tea even though it’s
touted as a ‘quit aid’. Actually taking care of the physical needs, the
body cues, that require attention is the only way to stop thinking about
smoking.
Pam suggested you look at the Time Exercise. It’s a really simple way to
remind yourself to do something that’s not your habit to do…. and that’s
to take a moment once an hour and check in with your body. Ask “what is my
body needing? what can I do to accurately take care of it?” This will help
you begin to be aware of the subtle body cues that have always triggered an
urge to smoke.
Jen, if you have any questions about how to start doing the Timer Exercise,
just let me know and I’ll help you put it together.
You don’t have to hang on trying to tell yourself not to smoke. You can do
some very simple things that will make it infinitely easier.
Steve
June 25th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Hi Jen,
In a general sense, yes. The timer exercise focuses your attention on some
things that you feel, things that you’re not normally aware of.
June 27th, 2007 at 5:22 am
It has offically been one week. I started one of those timer things
today. It was okay. It mainly made me pay more attention to what I was
feeling. Little bits of tension start in the middle of my back and work
their way up until I’m stressed out and start wanting a cig. I’ve been
trying different things when I notice I’m tense. Looking at it and
trying to fix it without picking up a cig. The tea helps but it’s going
to take more than that. Last night I did yoga. Today I just took a hot
shower as soon as I felt the tension. It’s hard because I had to give
up coffee at the same time. Without cigs to slow me down coffee makes
me extremely hyper. I am finding that I’m actually getting things done
and starting to desire more activity. I actually want to do things
besides just smoke. I just hope this lasts. My lungs feel like garbage
still.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Hi Diane,
Congrats on making it to a week quit. Are you using any NRT? Are you
working with your body cues?
It’d be wonderful if that happens. However, if you don’t know how that
click happens or what created the click, what’s to prevent it from clicking
back the other way some time down the road?
Being aware of your body cues and retraining your autopilot will give you
control of the click. And speaking of ‘clicks’… Mairead says that
having an auto pilot is like sitting next to your spouse and they’ve got
the tv remote control. Sometimes they’ll ‘click’ on a show you want to
watch and sometimes they’ll ‘click’ elsewhere. The timer exercise is a way
for you to take the remote and watch what you want. (Wonder how she came
up with that analogy)
Weight gain is pretty much entirely up to you. It’s not a crap shoot. What
you eat and what exercise you engage in will determine your weight.
Steve
June 27th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Hi Jen,
Actually, that may be easily explained. Our bodies need food/fuel in the
right proportions (carbs, protein, fat) at appropriate intervals. Too much
too frequently and we gain weight because we don’t burn it all and instead
store it as fat. Too little and your body behaves as though it’s in
starvation mode and whatever is eaten gets stored and you burn lean muscle
instead.
As contradictory as this sounds, you have to eat in order to lose weight.
With a proper diet eaten at appropriate times your body will burn the fuel
you give it rather than storing most of it.
Feeling thirsty is a very good sign. Let your body tell you what it needs.
Steve
June 29th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Diane,
If you were 7 or 8 days nicotine free, you no longer had an active nicotine
addiction. While there would have been some physical symptoms of recovery
i.e. lung and sinus clearing, sleep difficulties, some mental fog, and
possibly some emotional upset… you were well past the chemical need feed
cycle. By introducing nicotine to your body again via the nicotine inhaler,
you’ve take a step backward.
There was no physical craving for nicotine, not after a week nicotine
free. There were, however, lots of physical needs that you assumed were
about nicotine. They would have been muscle tension, shallow breathing,
moodiness/irritability, and likely a few others. All of which are normal
and part of life.
And? What are you observing when you do those scans and what action are
you taking based on what you observe?
What do you mean by “feeling something physical”? You have to be more
specific. Which is also part of why you feel something is missing. Taking
your mind off it for a few minutes is NOT the objective. The objective is
to recognize your body cues and take very specific and focused action to
deal with them. Which brings us back to the timer exercise. The information
you need in order to effectively deal with your body cues is exactly the
information the timer exercise provides. Diane, have you followed the
exercise at all since the notes you posted last May?
Steve
June 30th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Hi there Diane (I’m one too, but with 2 “n’s”)
Don’t be discouraged, keep with it. I’m tempted to give Steve a
small smack on the hand, but he is a straight shooter, which I have
come to appreciate over time! What you are reading is an indicator
of his level of conviction regarding cog. quitting, so take heart.
Diane, anyone on a boat, in the conditions you described, is going
to be having some stress in a lot of different ways. Stress is
something that our society seems to think that we need an instant
cure for, but is actually normal. It’s our body and mind
saying, “what are you doing (you fool)????”, to which “we” often
don’t have resonable answer!! Because we think we need instant cures
for stress, and with our history as smokers, hey presto the thought
jumps to mind. The body cue you were experiencing was probably “I
am cold, stiff and getting bumped about, and a bit concerned”, to
which the response should be “get the hell off this boat”, which
isn’t practical when you are in the middle of the sea. There are
very few reasonable non-smoking responses (apart from making
yourself as comfortable as possible) but smoking isnt a response
either…it aint going to make you any less cold, stiff or bumped
about!! (Don’t forget those foundation statements). Respond as well
as you can to your body cues, given the circumstances, and accept
that life has stress at times.
I can relate to the needing to have something in your hand, but it
will pass, and I would suggest that if you spend anymore time in
high seas, rosary beads might be of benefit;). Just keep fine
tuning concentrating on body cues, and responding to them, your
hands will get over it.
If you feel that you aren’t “getting” the abc’s, go back to the
timer and making notes, send them to Steve or Pam, they should be
able to help you out there. I’m not sure, but Pam might even have
a “sample” set of notes, so you can see how other people do it?
The adjustments your body is making at the moment are all good
signs, but obviously inconvenient…good ole fashioned remedies to
help you sleep (having a bedtime routine, a warm drink, 10 minutes
reading, and a comfy bed, etc), I know that you are well hydrated,
but the digestive changes may be helped by more water, and upping
the fruit in your diet (day old fruit salad, kiwifruit…).
June 30th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Diane,
You’re right. I am saying that I see you struggling because you’re not
grasping it. I also know why you’re not grasping it AND what you can do
about it. The good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. The better
news is that it’s probably much simpler than you think.
First, forget about the ABC exercises. In order to do those with any degree
of effectiveness you have to have accurate data from the timer exercise.
The notes you posted last May were a start but weren’t nearly accurate
enough or on target. We can fix that within a day or two if you’ll work
with me. Will you?
We need to get you more in touch with your body cues whether it’s on a
lurching boat or sitting in front of your computer. About smoking simply
because someone next to you is smoking… one of the core truths I’ve
learned is that there is always a physical element that’s involved in the
urge to smoke. That we usually don’t see it is only because we’ve never had
a compelling reason to look deeper. You have a compelling reason now, you
want to quit. Lets get you looking more closely at that area that’s always
been below your radar.
Diane, dig out your timer and set it hourly tomorrow. Use the template below:
1-time-
2-situation-
3-body cues-
4-non smoking responses-
1-time-
2-situation-
3-body cues-
4-non smoking responses-
1-time-
2-situation-
3-body cues-
4-non smoking responses-
Copy and paste this several times to create enough entries.
1- time will be whatever time it is when your timer buzzes (or whatever
noise it makes)
2- situation is whatever you are doing when the timer buzzes. only a couple
of words re: what’s happening in the moment.
3- body cues are parts of your body i.e. stiff neck, ache between shoulder
blades, stiff back, breathing, etc (anxious is not a body cue, it’s a
condition that includes the body cues of tense muscles and shallow
breathing and any other way physical way you experience anxiety)
4- non smoking responses are simple direct effective responses to whatever
body cues you observe. if neck is stiff, move it. if your breathing is
shallow, take a couple of deep breaths.
Please try to take these notes over a 6-8 hour period. I need to see them
when you’ve finished in order to make any suggestions necessary to ensure
that you’re doing them optimally.
This approach is simple and it works if we go step by step. If you’ll allow
me to direct your efforts you will grasp this and be on track in short order.
Diane, often chat will facilitate answering questions and clearing up
confusion faster and more directly than email. Would you want to meet in
the chat room? I expect to be available tomorrow (Wed) from about 5pm EST on.
Steve
July 1st, 2007 at 3:21 am
I think flopsy made a good point when she said
Stress is
something that our society seems to think that we need an instant
cure for, but is actually normal.
and
Because we think we need instant cures
for stress, and with our history as smokers, hey presto the thought
jumps to mind.
Put in very simple terms, as smokers we all knew that ‘ahhhh’ feeling when we
had been going through nicotine deprivation and finally got to light up. And we
all know what if feels like when we’re craving nicotine - antsy, difficult to
concentrate, shallow breathing, irritable etc etc. Warren quickly caught on
that ‘antsy/difficult to concentrate/foggy headed/shallow breathing/tensed up
muscles/ irritable’ could be cured by a smoke, and from then on offered up a
smoke, whatever the cause of those physical cues. Thats where hang-on
quitters fall over - they’ve never realised that connection existed, never
learned how to deal with the physical cues (or even be aware of them) A
cigarette was an instant fix - but how do never-smokers deal with stress and all
the physical cues stress brings?
At this moment I feel HUGELY stressed as I’m about to set off for a dental appt
to have a wisdom tooth extracted. How do I feel? Stressed with a capital S.
How does that translate physically? No suprises here - fear which translates as
churning stomach, shallow breathing, tense muscles. Its absolutely nothing to
do with nicotine dependency, and the only the only urge I feel is to get it all
over with. It doesn’t have any connection with a cigarette whatsoever cause I
retrained Warren a long time ago. I’m doing a lot of deep breathing, some
simple shoulder stretches and thinking of other more pleasant things. Stress is
part of life - and I so much enjoy being able to deal with it without having to
claw at a cigarette. Hope you’ll give the timer a go!
Pam
Oh, I also had a small whine about it last night - but I reckon I was allowed
that small luxury before getting on with the practicalities
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Diane,
I’m glad you’re willing to go at this again. However, I’m hesitant to have
you spend an entire day with a timer if it’s not being done correctly.
You’ll only become more frustrated and discouraged if you invest a day and
don’t get the expected, or hoped for, results. What I’m thinking is that
before you do the timer exercise again, can we get together in chat and go
over some of this? I’m available most evenings from about 5pm EST. When
would work for you?
We can talk about how to think ahead for the party on the weekend.
Steve
July 17th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
I thank you for the welcome to the list. I quit smoking just past midnight on
this New Years Eve. Five days ago. I am just a mess because I want to smoke so
bad , but am determined I will not. I know if I light up one I am right back
where I started from. Any advice you guys can give me will really be
appreciated. Thanks
Irma
July 18th, 2007 at 6:36 am
I have done a bit of reading the material you suggested. I have done some
breathing exercises and some stretch. WOW I am trying to reach for a glass of
water over time I get an overpowering urge to light up.Thanks for the warm
welcome and all the good info.
Irma
July 18th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Irma,
Any time you get an urge, think of it as an indication that some body
cue(s) needs attention. Look at your posture, look at what you’ve
been doing (or not doing) over the past 15-30 minutes. Then do a
quick body check… are there tense muscles, how is your breathing?
Consider also when you ate last or if you’re tired and need a rest.
Water is probably ok simply because most of us don’t drink enough
anyway. However, most people find that unless they’re actually
thirsty, a couple of deep breaths and some stretching deals more
directly with the source of urges.
Have you set a timer and started writing out some hourly notes?
That’ll fast track you to recognizing your body cues.
Steve
July 18th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
I was not able to download the timer template. I am trying to keep some record.
Irma
July 19th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Nothing more than this:
Steve
Time-
Situation-
Body Cues-
Rational Responses-
copy and paste that as often as you need it, or write it out on paper.
This format collects 4 bits of info once an hour:
Time- when your timer goes off
Situation- what you’re doing when it goes off
Body cues- at the moment
Rational responses- the most effective way to deal with the body cues.
The reason for making these notes is that at the end of a day, with
6-10 hourly entries, unless you take notes, you won’t remember all
the details. And after 2-3 of doing the timer exercise, you’ll have
collected a fair bit of personal info. Specifically, 1- when certain
situations occur, 2- what body cues go with which situations, and 3-
the best ways to deal with those body cues.
Irma, if you’d like to post your timer notes here, or send them to me
off list, I’ll make whatever suggestions I think will move you ahead
fastest. After 2-3 days or doing the timer exercise, it’ll be time to
start preparing for anticipated situations. That’s the step that will
turn your behavior back to automatic. But at that stage you will have
disconnected the smoking response. What that means basically is that
relapse becomes an non issue. But it all starts with getting to know
your body cues accurately and quickly. So set that timer