Hi Julia……….Marde was right!!!!!!!!!! 6 months ago I am sure I
did write a post VERY MUCH like yours………. Last fall received warning from my doctor that it was time I
quit…………..
was in the process of a move across Canada so quit did not happen until
l January…
have survived almost 7 months now…………..cold
turkey…………from a 2 pack a day habit that had grown over a period
of 50 years……..
Not sure how I survived the first couple of weeks - (competition with my
daughter-in-law I think) - no way would I let her beat me…. :)))
And then I came across Steve’s site………….(quit would have been

easier I think if I had found it earlier…………..)
I could make my foundation statement - but like you - it seemed every
action/thought/reaction of the day included smoking……..and I could
not sort out anything I thought of as a “trigger”.
All I could do was take very deep breaths !!!!!!!!!!!! And respond
with something other than a cigarette (which in my case happened to be
food - and I have gained at least 30 lbs in trying!!!!!!!!)
Have made progress……gradually there became fewer “triggers”..but I
could now identify them………..devise an ABC……….and cope with
them……………
and now I seldom think of smoking……
There still, sometimes, is that sense of loss in the disapppearance of
an old “friend”…….
Someone mentioned having a problem getting rid of the last of their
cigs……….
I never did……….decided I was going to feel more comfortable in my
quit knowing they were within reach………..(have carried an unopened
pack in my handbag since New Year’s Day - somehow feeling their presence
would avert panic) Good luck to all of you just starting the journey………………..
Jean

I think most of us are a bit over optimistic when we start out. Feeling
better and when that happens are so very relative and personal. On the
whole, I think there is a general movement toward ‘better’.
Personally, and this confuses some people, I don’t think it’s all that
important how much gum you’re using or when you finally give it up. My
take on quitting is that it’s our “associations with particular activities”
and the resulting sensations that are the ‘reasons why we smoke’. Sure
there’s a chemical addiction also, but my experience is that that addiction
is quickly dealt with as soon as the behavior starts to come under control.
All this means is simply that when you no longer see any reason to use the
gum, you’ll stop. The same goes for those on the patch. It’s common for cog
quitters to step off their NRT’s earlier than planned. As you begin to
introduce more responsible choices as responses to your behavioral needs,

the chemical addiction will lose much of it’s compelling nature. You may
find that stepping off the gum happens soon and spontaneously.
Julia, I think your situation is one of the most stressful of all. So
many of your options are restricted or unavailable yet you still feel the
normal need to find responses for those stresses. You said it right here..
“When you are stuck at home and can’t do a lot filling the day is the
hardest thing.” You’re dead on correct with that. Start filling the day by
picking apart your old smoking habit?
I think that as you begin to pick individual instances apart, you’ll see
that there was in fact a reason for each cig smoked. However, when I talk
about ‘reasons to smoke’, it’s with the understanding that there are
probably only a few unique ‘reasons to smoke’. All the rest likely fall
into a couple of general categories that encompass the scope of our day’s
events. One common ‘reason’ might have been nothing more than “I just put
one out and don’t have one in my hand now”. No one said our reasons to
smoke were necessarily logical or realistic. I think most have a very basic
‘truth’ to them, but none are paragons of compelling logic. A chain smoker
will ‘feel’ something is missing as soon as they put out a cig, it can be
that simple. Julia, rather than listing individual reasons to smoke, maybe
try listing categories? For example, you said that you smoked more when on
the puter. Being online = waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more. We
wait for the machine to boot. We wait for the page to load. We wait….. a
lot. This has all the signs of a form of boredom, so we fill the time with
a cig? There is also a connection to ‘needing to think’ and our established
pattern of lighting up in order to think better or clearer. Being on the
phone and smoking was much the same thing, boredom and need to think. So
instances of boredom would be one category. Frustration and worry might be
another… ’stuck at home, health issues, restricted options, what will the
future hold’. Care to give ‘categories’ a try? And if you can get into
that, try to put together a list of what some of those categories feel like
i.e. tense muscles and where, how are you breathing at those times, what’s
your posture like, the goal being to become more aware of some of the
personal particulars of our automatic smoking instances. I know that
smoking nonstop created a ‘wall’ of cigarettes that can appear to be ‘our
smoking habit’. But it wasn’t a solid wall. It was more a mosaic of
individual instances when we chose to light up in response to something we
felt. It takes a bit of work to begin to differentiate some of those
instances, but it can be done and the rewards are tremendous. It’s a
process that snowballs once you start. Please give it a try Steve

Until you stop using nicotine altogether, you’ll have an active nicotine
addiction. A fluctuating nic level brings it’s own plitics of experience.
As the nic level drops, we begin to experience brain fog and some antsiness
and we ‘feel’ the need for a cig. There are plenty of behavioral or
situational instances where the cig association will feel just like the
chemical need so it gets pretty hard to tell one from the other. But where
many people get stuck is in thinking that 3 or 4 days and the ‘addiction’
is all over. The ‘need/feed’ chemical cycle is over, but recovery is only
just begun. Recovery is that process whereby our body recovers from it’s
dependance on nicotine. Recovery is a process of several months. During
that time there will be sleep disruptions, emotional chaos (tears/rage),
there will be brain fog, possibly some motor function difficulties (some

ppl can’t type for a few weeks. not to be confused with those of us who
just can’t type). My point is that it could take several weeks before you
begin to feel better at all. Expecting to feel ‘better’ too quickly is a
set up for dissappointment. Be patient.
If that does it for you, great. When you “move on”, are you addressing
the reason why you had a thought about smoking?
Again, when you get off nicotine in all forms, then you can get past the
chemical addiction. Personally, I think the difficulties you’re having are
due to both a fluctuating nic level with all that brings and a pattern of
behavior where the experience of fatigue and stress is connected to
thoughts of smoking.
Julia, you don’t have to believe that a cig would help. The goal of the
exercise is to step back a bit and examine the event, what we’re thinking,
and what we believe would be an appropriate response.
Have you made any lists of ‘reasons why I smoked’(with times and places)?
Hope this helped a bit,
Steve