8 Days
Hi
Just passed the 8 day quit mark. Thought I’d share a few insights,
maybe ask a few questions.
My two strongest reasons for quitting:
1. I came to realize that my life had become about “putting in time”
between cigarettes. I DO NOT want ANYTHING to have that sort of
control over me.
2. A couple of months ago, I was out hiking with my SO and hadn’t
smoked for maybe an hour, hour and a half. I was breathing fairly
heavily, and she let me know that I smelled very strongly of
cigarettes - at first I couldn’t understand why, I hadn’t smoked for
a while. Then of course I got it, these things had been a part of ME
for 32 years, probably in ever pore of my body. So even though I
hadn’t had a smoke for a while, I still smelled like I just did. I
then remembered how my grandfather smelled, before he died of
emphasyma at 58, like acrid stale cigarette smoke. I was smelling
that way. At that moment I was absolutely certain smoking had to go!!!
I have noticed a couple of interesting “head games” I played with
myself over the past week. I found myself wishing I had smoked more
on my quit day, as if that would somehow serve to diminish the urges
now!! And this one is really a good one - found myself trying to set
up having a smoke as a reward for not smoking - how f****d up is that?
Watched a film today called The Royal Tenebaums. Good film, but a lot
of cigarette smoking in it - I found it quite triggering.
And now I’m off to a family get-together, the first social event
since I quit. There WILL be smokers there, so I get to come up with
my FIRST ABC
A. I will be around smokers
B. I will be tempted to smoke because that is how I have always
socialized in the past - it helped me to feel more comfortable in
social situations
C. If I smoke one now I’ll not feel more comfortable, I’ll probably
feel dizzy, nauseous, get a headache,and I’ll have to deal with a
sense of having failed that will make the efforts of the past 8 days
pointless. Within moments of lighting up I’ll be disappointed with
myself. I have the option of leaving early if I find things getting
overwhelming.
I will be taking that, and a copy of the Foundation Statement, with
me. All for now.
Paul
September 30th, 2004 at 6:45 pm
Paul,
Excellent ABC. I’d bet the farm that you found that one effective.
I’m anxious to hear what your observations were of the get together and of
you within that situation. How did you ‘think’? Did you notice a
particular self awareness? How did you ‘feel’ like responding?
Steve
October 1st, 2004 at 1:53 am
Steve,
Thanks. It was interesting. I’m finding myself somewhat light-headed
and foggy generally when I’m out and about, this was no different. I
also found that when I first arrived, I was really restless, couldn’t
sit down, paced around a lot. Not sure what to “do”. I was offered a
beer, but stuck to water. People were supportive and asking me how
the quit was going, and I told them. Probably more than they really
wanted to know, but they asked!! I did manage to settle down, ate
well, enjoyed myself. Consciously stayed away from people when they
were smoking. All in all it was on ok experience. Just from a
slightly altered perpective.
Paul
October 1st, 2004 at 9:15 am
Doesn’t take much alteration to make a big difference.
WTG
Steve