Marian update 2 weeks
Marian; you’ve had a lot to deal with in these early weeks of your
quit. Understanding your feelings of depression might help. If you
haven’t already, please read the posts in the Files section in the
Depression folder, in particular, Steve’s post on depression (message
#61). Of course, being burgled on top of quitting the smokes is very
stressful.
I remember when someone came in through our bedroom window (I’m
married) and stepped on our bed to get into the room!! I felt very
violated that someone would enter my private space in that manner
without my knowledge (I threw away the sheets, probably would have
thrown away the bed if I could afford it). Believe me, it took a
while for me to feel safe again, even though we found out who had
done the deed and had him arrested. I probably smoked a few packs a
day for a few weeks after that! Nowadays, it’s nice to have the
confidence in my quit that I feel that I’ve done enough of my ABC’s
and identifying smoking triggers/feelings, I doubt I would ever reach
for a smoke again in such a situation. It just takes time and
patience. Steve was always always telling me ‘be patient, be
patient.’
Hey, we all made the decision long ago to be smokers. Now, we’ve
made the decision to be People Who Do Not Smoke. Why beat yourself
up over having smoked in the past? Can’t see any benefit to that.
As far as working on this the rest of my life… well, that’s why I
decided to get involved in the cogquit method. I may have to deal
with not smoking the rest of my life, but I find that I’m pretty
comfortable and have been for a long time now. So if I do have to
deal with it, I’m doing it on my terms this time 
ie, I feel
much more in control that I ever have in a quit.
I’m with you there, Marian, I had trouble sleeping on zyban too.
When I was taking 2 pills a day, I took the first one very early so I
could take the second one around 3:00 in the afternoon. That helped
some but eventually I cut myself down to one pill a day to be taken
first thing in the morning. That helped even more and by then I was
quite active in doing my ABC’s and talking to Steve so I quit the
zyban not long after that (less than 2 months after my quit date).
I hope you have a better day today…
- Cat
“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back
strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not
going your way.” — Edna Ferber