Morning conversation with the vulture..
she woke me up this morning trying to make me feel bad about cutting
back on the amount of anniversery posts I usually do. weird
conversation.
she said to me “get up! time to do the anni posts”
I said “I can do them later”
she said if you dont start now you wont get them done and then youl
feel bad and when you feel bad you smoke.”
I said “I’m not going to do as many cuz I need some time to take care
of me ”
she said “oh there you go, your going to get all self centered about
taking care of yourself and then your going to feel guilty and then
your going to need a smoke, you do it everytime.”
it went on and on for about 3 minutes and I decided shes the part of
me thats afraid of sucess because if I succeed that could mean
something else unknown and scary will come up and I’ll have to deal
with that.
but I didnt go back to sleep lol, and I really need to stop engaging
is self conversation before I really start talking to myself.
caisy
December 31st, 2004 at 9:33 pm
Very good Laura. Those 2 are a great start. As you keep thinking about
reasons to smoke and emotions/conditions more will come to mind. This is
the sort of thing that sits in the back of our minds and we continue to
work at it even though we aren’t aware consciously.
Next, see if you can associate some of your emotions/conditions to
physical sensations. The way I’ve worked this is to pick an emotion, anger
is the easiest for me because of it’s intensity. Spend a few moments
thinking about some angry situation, really get ‘into it’. Then turn your
attention to what you are feeling physically and where. Sometimes it takes
a few trys because the moment we stop thinking about the anger and start
thinking about how we’re feeling the anger, the angry feelings begin to
fade. Give it a shot, let me know how it goes.
Steve
January 11th, 2005 at 4:00 am
Hi Laura,
Try putting your ABC in this sort of format, not necessarily these words
though….
A- I’m suddenly surprised with some new information. I feel I ‘must’
grasp/understand it quickly.
B- I feel I’m under pressure. A cigarette always relieved my
pressure/tension. A cig helped me think. I know I can think without a
cigarette. Rather than wasting time lighting up, I can simply begin dealing
with this new info. If there’s a lot of info, I’ll take periodic breaks to
keep me fresh.
c- I have these other options and will use _ _ _ _ to deal with this new
info scenario.
Good start on this Laura, try writing out another?
Steve