Hi, my quitting story
Hi, just joined this list. I am on day 32 of my quit. I made an attempt
last year that failed when I decided to reward myself with “one cigarette”
for going a whole week without smoking. Obviously that was a poor
decision–one cig turned into one pack a day. So here I am a year later and
I decided to quit because I had become increasingly more and more
disenchanted with smoking, for many reasons—mostly because it was smelling
up my house and car, sucking every bit of energy out of my body, causing me
to excuse myself from every social situation so I could go outside and smoke,
and reducing my productivity at work. I am a member of mgmt at work and I
was not setting a good example becuase I spent so much time smoking instead
of working….but I wasn’t doing it to be lazy—I was doing it to reduce
tension.
Anyway, last month I was getting really disgusted with smoking (a pack or
more a day) and I woke up and decided to quit. I had three cigarettes that
morning, and declared the third one “my last”, and it was. I also decided
that for me, nicotine gum or patches wouldn’t be good because I thought the
sooner I stop exposing my body to nicotine, the better. I didn’t want to
prolong my body’s exposure to nicotine. This isn’t to say that other people
shouldn’t use those products–I am not expert on them. I am just talking
about what was right for me.
Going through a whole work day without smoking was amazing to me. I shocked
myself, and I got really motivated and excited as the day went on. As I told
more people about my quit, the pressure was on to continue so I wouldn’t let
them down (that’s part of the reason I told people, so that I would be
accountable!). The first three days were so unsettling and strange for me
since my entire routine was completely different. It was as strange as
walking backwards for three days (I couldn’t think of another example–hope
you get the idea). I started getting a little more used to going throught
the day without smoking, although cravings still hit me HARD. I would just
think about something else and push the craving out of my head. Sometimes I
couldn’t do it, and I’d just sit there day dreaming about a cigarette,
torturing myself. So, there were good and bad days, depending on how
mentally strong I was—meaning wether or not I could push thoughts of
smoking out of my head and think about something completely different. The
worst part was doing activities during which I USED to smoke, like driving,
or talking on the phone, but without smoking. It felt like something was
missing….like my little “fix”.
At the beginning of week three, my motivation started to wane because it had
been 14+ days and cravings were waring me down, and becoming craving-free
wasn’t happening as fast as I had hoped. I wasn’t seeing the progress I
wanted, but I just persevered, knowing that one cigarette would put be back
at square one and there was only one way to get out of this
situation…….NOT SMOKING.
Week four was better because triggers were weaker. I could do things that I
used to associate with smoking without getting a huge craving every time. I
had a bad week at work, but I got through it despite thoughts like “I can
quit another time when my life isn’t so hectic” popping into my head. I know
that there is NEVER going to be a time when I can quit and guarantee that my
life will be stress free, so I just pushed on.
Week 5 is going well so far. I’ve faced my triggers many times without any
thoughts of smoking (not every time though). Afterwards I’ll realize it and
say to myself…..”Wow—I just drove to work and didn’t think about
smoking….pretty cool”.
I am totally *not* home-free yet. It still gets hard for me, but I can
definitely see progress. It was hard for me to see it in week 2 and 3. I
personally seemed to “plateau” for a while and my cravings didn’t get much
better. But, finally things do get better. You just have to wait it out,
tough it out, and be patient and strong.
Anyway, I get motivation from talking to other people that are giong through
this. Like I said, I am still dealing with quitting, I am not free of
cravings by any means. So, that’s my story. Sorry it was so long.
WB