Anxiety! :(
I ran into what I think was some kind of mini anxiety attack, I’m reluctant
to call it that, but because I’m not sure where it was coming from. If I was
still in the place of hanging on, I would have smoked..
Based on my phsyical sensations, I was able to chose a
response that would relief that, and sure enough
I feel better. I would have liked to attach a definite emotion to it, I
did a quick abc, still messy as they always are but it went like this.
a: I am feeling jumpy, edgy, it feels like a trigger
b: my muscles, my arms and legs are twitchy bigtime
and my muscles in my forehead area are tensing then relaxing, back and forth
I am craving a smoke, no, but something, what?
c: in the past this I would have smoked.
b: in the past I would have assumed it was time to smoke and would have done
just that, my emotions are just I dont know what they are but my phsyical
sensations say anxiety, almost out of control, needing, Warren what are you
supposed to offer me besides a cigarette for this one?
I’m a not smoker today, I have been a non smoker for almost 5 months and I
can continue to be, its my choice how I want to respond. I can move around
and stretch, try to move those muscles that are affected, make myself busy
with some project, what is past the trigger? underneath it? this is tough.
I know now, that smoking is never an appropriate response to any event or
emotion or physcial sensation I maybe experiencing, I know that there is
something else I need to do, I know that smoking will not help me here, it
will not meet this need, or any other.
my dishes need to be done, bed could stand to be straightened out, yup being
lazy today while I don’t quite know what this is about I can use these
things as my response to this situation.
c: I will move around, espeically those muscles that are tensing and maybe
do some kind of project. dishes need to be done. after that I will check
and see whats up, maybe make the bed while I’m at it.
I have clean dishes 
feeling better
caisy