By: carmelita_1300

carmelita_1300 — Sun, 01 May 2005 08:34:07 +0000

Hello! I have also been lurking around the perimeter since joining a couple
of weeks ago–My name is Peggy and I discovered this group when someone in an
about.com smoking cessation post casually mentioned how helpful people might
find this method. I was sorely in need of more encouragement than the
standard “you can do it” and “hang in there.” Especially between weeks 2-4
when I started to tell myself that I was crazy to give up something as
terrific as cigs! Then I saw the words “cognitive method” and recognized that
this was a method once used by a licensed social worker on a friend who was
experiencing severe stress/anxiety (this person was a nonsmoker). The
therapist was attempting to teach the tools to basically put stress in its
place and break it down to it’s simplest form. The improvement after 4
sessions was incredible and the tools are forever useful. With that being
said, I knew that being “cognitive” in the quit might be able to help me
succeed where I have failed so many times before. After all, I was always
very good at talking myself INTO smoking—why not work on “thinking” my way

out of it? The urge to smoke used to positively overwhelm me to where I
thought I was having an out of body experience as I drove myself to the store
for cigs. I would resume smoking a pack a day with such relief–and at the
same time I was completely horrified that I could be so foolish! Living
this way was exhausting, debilitating and frustrating. Plus, I was a closet
smoker—which only added to the insanity!
I quit on November 12th after hearing of yet another relatively young
friend’s cancer diagnosis. I was able to quit cold turkey because I had a
lot of practice doing it —I once even “gave up smoking for Lent.”
Unfortunately, that method entailed endless days and nights of
white-knuckling, hanging on, trying to “get through” the day—it all seemed
so pointless to live that way and I convinced myself that I actually
preferred to die—-how incredibly ludicrous!! Around the 4th week or so of
any given quit was when I would become depressed and convinced it would
never, ever pass. I was sure that I was just one of the unlucky who had
developed some sort of profound brain cell-nicotine problem and that any
effort to quit was futile. The August 24th anniversary of my Dad’s death
from COPD caused by years of smoking and the fact that I still miss him
terribly every single day, somehow made an impact this year. I wrote a
letter to myself from the viewpoint of a smoker—-just something to read in
case I ever tried to quit and needed encouragement from “the other side.” I
also listed all the things I still want to do with my husband and kids,
places I want us all to visit together (London, Paris—just think how soon
I’ll have the money for those trips now that I don’t have to buy cigs!!), and
most importantly the fact that I want to be here for my children as long as
possible. So my change in attitude from deprivation to gratefulness, and a
new understanding of the goals that I have just for me (like run 2 miles
without collapsing), I’m working on my freedom! The downside is that I think
I jumped into this group without having done all of the necessary homework
(can someone tell me where to find everything I need to read — so that I can
be sure I didn’t miss a thing?—sorry I am new at this—some of the
references are a little foreign to me)…With what I did know of cog
quitting, weeks 2-4 were, for the first time ever, not miserable and often
good! Another helpful hint: I spend a lot of time observing smokers when I’m
out and about—that seems to help reinforce my resolve to NOT smoke—did I
look that silly? Sure did.
I know this story is all over the place—-but I have so much to say—-and
I’m doing this on my own. Whew! Thanks to you all for sharing your
struggles/triumphs….I am going to keep on working! It is 36 days
today—and it feels awesome! Peggy

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By: carmelita_1300