Newly quit…3 w 6d 15h 21m 25s..oops 26s…oops 27s
That quit meter is driving me insane!!!! actually I think I am going
insane all by myself.
Is it better to die of lung cancer but live one’s life (albeit a
shortened one) out free in society OR live longer and be
incarcerated in a home for the incredibly bewildered?
Could someone please tell me how long the anxiety and depression
lasts - in general - this is the side effect that they don’t tell
you about.
I also feel a little disheartened when people don’t jump up and down
when they hear that I have been smoke free for nearly 4 weeks. Their
slightly deflated “oh” conveys the impression that it is too soon to
tell!!!
Encouragement please..I am needy right now!!
Morghaine
April 30th, 2005 at 12:27 pm
Morghaine,
For me, the anxiety and depression were directly related to how I
I used to live for the praise I got when people found out I had quit
smoking. Unfortunately for me, those quits didn’t last. This quit
has been much different. I want it for myself, not for the kudos I
get from anyone else. What other people think isn’t the least bit
important to me anymore. I’ll be celebrating 3 months on Christmas
day and I finally see myself as an ex-smoker … once and for all.
If you think dying of lung cancer if preferable to the temporary
discomfort of withdrawal, you might want to post that question at a
lung cancer support group. I bet 100% of the cancer victims would
love to trade places with you
thought about my quit. Did I feel I was making a sacrifice? If so,
I was more likely to feel depressed and anxious about it. Did I feel
I was doing something wonderful for myself? YES! this time I did
feel that way and I’ve been at perfect peace with myself ever since.
Hang in there. It gets soooo much better!!
Carolyn
May 1st, 2005 at 4:56 pm
Hi Morghaine,
here is…
The incredible bewilderment usually eases off about the time you hit 3-4
weeks, that’s assuming you aren’t using an NRT. NRT can occasionally
prolong the process. As for “anxiety and depression”, it pretty much
depends on the source. It’s still very early in your quit and the emotional
chaos may be part of the initial quit. If you are concerned, please go see
your Dr. Tell her/him that you’ve quit and get them involved in monitoring
your progress. A lot of the anxiety can be related to *how* you’re working
through your quit. Are you using your lists and have you set up ABCs to
prepare for the evnets you encounter through the day? If you aren’t
spending a lot of you time asking yourself, “What is it I’m feeling and
what do I really want?”, then there may be room to make your quit a lot
less anxious. What’s your schedule for tomorrow? What sort of emotions do
you expect to encounter? How would you like to respond to those emotions?
What alternative options must you offer Warren in order to be ready to
respond differently?
Ouch. And yes, most people who know us, particularly if we’ve a history
of failure in quitting, aren’t going to be all that enthusiastic. Only
thing I can suggest is don’t set yourself up for that rejection. Come here
and talk to us about your cog quit. We know how involved it is and how
impressive your 4 weeks are.
About the quit meter …..
quit meters can be wonderful little things. They can also be irritating
little things. In the years I’ve been talking to quitters, I’ve seen more
discussion on meters, their relevance, how they ’should’ and ’shouln’t’ be
used, arguments for and against resetting them and all of it based on
nothing more substantial than someones opinion. Here is something I wrote
a few yrs ago on meters. Granted it’s IMHO (’in my humble opinion’ or ‘in
my head only’, depending on ones point of view) but I really do think my
opinion is the benchmark against which all others should be compared
*THE* Last Word on Meters
Before I get to quit meters, I’d like to talk for a moment about a matter
of grave importance to quitters, and, in fact, to everyone. A matter,
possibly, of far greater importance than how you use your meter or how
someone else ‘thinks’ a meter should be used and by extension, how everyone
should use a meter.
This urgently important matter is
are really only two acceptable ways to wipe ones ass using toilet
paper….. ‘Wad n Wipe’ or ‘Fold n Wipe’. There is also the ‘Wad n
Daub’, though that’s generally reserved for very special very tender
situations. Of almost equal importance, in a related way, is how the
toilet paper is mounted on the wall, assuming, of course, that it ‘is’
mounted on the wall. There’s the ‘over the top toward the front’ toilet
paper mount and the ‘down the back next to the wall’ toilet paper mount.
The proper toilet paper mounting is ‘over the top toward the front’
allowing the roll to be ‘Slapped’ to get it spinning. This allows those who
have wadded all their lives to ‘Slap Snatch Wad n Wipe’ and those who
have folded to ‘Slap Grab Fold n Wipe’.
Obviously there are some pretty strongly held opinions regarding the
‘proper way’ to wipe your ass. It’s rare that ‘Wipe’ and ‘Wad’ proponents
agree on related issues of such profound importance. However, one issue
that concerns both camps is that of ‘pad or wad accuracy’. In other words,
how accurately the pad or wad protects your fingers during the wipe. To
quote a revered VOF, “i do believe that the “real” point here is about your
meter(wad/pad) not being accurate, IMO and i believe that you know how i
feel smobriety dates(wiping) and accuracy!” I must admit, I lost the
meaning toward the end of that sentence, but it sounded terribly anal so
I’m sure it was in reference to ass wiping. Personally, I ‘Fold n Wipe’
having never gotten over a fear that an errant finger might escape the
‘inconsistent coverage’ of the wad. I believe that only a properly folded
toilet paper pad can offer complete and consistent accuracy. However, in
the spirit of ‘whatever works’, I’m willing to concede that wadders have a
clue how to wipe their own asses. And if one of then experiences the
occasional ’slip through’ with a wad and a finger is inadvertently
’stained’ …. what do I care? It’s not my finger! But hey, that’s
“JUST THE WAY I SEE IT. JUST MY OPINION. JUST WHAT WORKS FOR ME. NOT
LOOKING TO BE SLAMMED. JUST LITTLE OLE ME STATING WHAT WORKS FOR ME. IS
THAT ENOUGH?” ( I love that line :)) … thanks Frank )
As for the only slightly less important matter of meters, and lest
anyone think I’m pointing an unstained finger specifically at them … I
think that all of you who cling to your meters are crazy!! You go on and
on about when will it be better, when will quitting not be such an
obsession, when will you not think about it so much, when will you
actually forget and be a ‘nonsmoker’ …. yet you’ve got a really neat
little piece of software that tells you to the second how long you’ve been
quit??? How nuts is that? But then, I’ve never had a meter and actually
forgot my 8th, or was it 9th, month milestone. So how nuts am I?
I’ve just always preferred to make the time count rather than count the
time.
ddsteve
4yrs, almost a handful of months, several weeks and days, a bunch of
hours, probably some minutes, and certainly a second or two
May 1st, 2005 at 9:29 pm
Hi Gang,
In the past I was driven to quit smoking because I was afraid of
dying a painful death. For some reason I was under the impression
that if I quit smoking I would not die of cancer or emphysema or any
other painful way. I think the media leads us to believe that.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am going to die and
it very well could be painful even though I don’t smoke. Granted,
certain types of diseases can be avoided by not smoking (and a very
good reason to quit smoking in my opinion) but it’s no guarantee that
I will die peacefully in my sleep without fear or pain.
I quit smoking this time because I was tired of feeling lousy all the
time. My lungs felt horrible. Frankly, they felt full of smoke and
coated with tar (imagine that). I was getting headaches all the
time, got winded easily, my gums were receeding, etc.
I was ashamed that I smoked and tried to hide it from people. For
about 6 months at my new job I didn’t let anyone know I smoked. When
the clock struck noon or 5pm I’d bolt out the door, hop in my car and
race out of sight to light up. I must have looked like a mad woman
half the time! When I was out and about I was always on the lookout
for people I didn’t want to know I smoked.
Finally, I lived in constant fear. Fear of getting cancer, fear of
emphysema, fear of a heart attack. I was even afraid to stay home
alone because I was afraid I’d have a heart attack alone.
So, in summary, when I smoked I felt lousy physically, was ashamed of
myself, and lived in constant fear. I quit for long term health and
happiness. Also for peace of mind, self respect, and freedom from
fear.
About sums it up for me. I have a great appreciation for the cog
quit method… I feel like I’m living my life for the first time in a
long time. Also, for all you people. If you made it this far…
thanks for listening to me.
Susan (1month, 3 weeks)
May 2nd, 2005 at 7:26 am
Hi there,
I think I may have given the impression that I don’t like meters or
think that their use is unnecessary or unimportant or frivolous. If that’s
the case then I need to make a correction. I think that the amount of time
we’ve been quit is important in the sense that … that’s one way we
measure our quits. Dealing with a pattern of behavior that was always time
sensitive, it’s only natural that time would continue to be one of our
criteria for accomplishment. I think quit milestones should be acknowledged
and celebrated.
However, I do not think that ‘time quit’ is necessarily an indication of
progress toward ‘being quit’. It’s interesting that to those who are
hanging on, how long they’ve been hanging is of such monumental importance.
Maybe that’s where so much of the ‘meter frenzy’ comes from. Cog quitters,
while appreciating their time quit, also measure their quits in terms of
shifting perspectives and altered behaviors. I think that the retraining of
Warren and his increasingly automatic choosing of nonsmoking options is the
most important criteria for quit success. And if a quit meter is used to
mark out that success in terms of time, great.
Did that make any sense?
Steve
May 3rd, 2005 at 5:11 am
ummmmm welll yeahhhh I suppose so. If your fingers and toes
aren’t good enough, ya might as well.