Party ABC (sorta)
This is my ABC for a party I’m going to with dh tonight. I really
don’t want to go, and have been feeling cranky about it all day.
Actually, its really an ABC to deal with how I feel about going to
this party. See what you think.
A - I’m going to a New Years Eve party tonight - I really don’t want
to go but have got no choice
B - I’ve been feeling wound up about this since I got up this
morning. It started off with really fancying a cig when I woke this
morning. I’m not in the mood for a lot of noise, smoke and manic new
yrs `joy’ tonight. Following my slip around a week ago, I know dh
will be watching me like a hawk tonight - I doubt I will do, but
don’t like being treated like some naughty child. I’m getting more
and more wound up - my stomach really is churning. I can feel tension
in my upper back and shoulders, I’m fidgety (is that your `antsy’?).
I can’t be bothered doing anything much except feeling ever so sorry
for poor old me Only one thing’s going to help..
C - I’ll smoke
so, the B’s needed a going over.
New B’s -
1 - I could carry on feeling really sorry for myself (self
indulgent). That’ll guarantee that the physical tension will
continue - I could get my stomach in reef knots by the time its time
to go out tonight. hmm, not a great idea.
2 - I could get myself out of this blind alley by moving myself -
change of scene, fresh air (it’s a fine, mild day here). Walking
will mean seeing different things, stretching my legs, un-knotting
the muscles. Hell, I might even enjoy it
3 - I could talk again to dh about `the slip’ - that he’s no reason
to worry I’ll slip tonight. (I won’t be drinking alcohol out with
the girls like last time)
4 - OK, I don’t want to go to this party but I could look at the
positive - it isn’t a life sentence, it’d be more effort getting out
of going than actually going. I’ll be meeting up with some friends I
haven’t seen in ages - I don’t have to hang round with the ones who
get up my nose anway. Carry on thinking as I have been thinking
earlier on, I’ll have a really lousy time
New C’s
I’ve done (2), about to do (3) and I’m working on (4)
Thanks Steve for the shove you gave me in chat today 
I’ll let you know how things go.
Happy smoke free new year everyone
Dilly