Preparing - a Mind Game ABC
I never thought about an ABC for mind games before, but… this is a
situation that WILL come up - in a week, a month, whatever… I’ve
done it so many times I can’t count, and the most amazing thing is
that it hasn’t… oops, I guess it has happened this quit. I begged a
cigarette from hubby a week ago, with similar mind process.
It’s kind of incomplete - I’m having trouble with a good effective
C1. Any help will be gratefully accepted.
Mind Game ABC
A. I’m a ways into a quit, just bopping along and doing well, when
suddenly and for no apparent reason a thougt pops into my head. It
runs along the lines of “I could smoke cigarette.” (Some common
circumstances for this might be driving alone on a long trip, being
left home alone overnight - any occasion where ‘nobody would know.’)
B. I know I’m starting a mind game. I’m amused at myself. But the
underlying belief is that this nonsense is going to continue until I
just smoke. Usually, the rationalization runs along the line of “I
don’t even WANT to smoke. But I know I’m going to do it. But, since
I’ve been off of them long enough that I really don’t want to, it’ll
be ok. I might as well just do it and get it over with.”
C. I either beg, borrow, or buy smokes, and “put an end to” the
amusing/annoying game. It tastes relatively lousy and makes my heart
pound, but isn’t dramatically awful, either. I’m gratified because
the fact it has done “nothing for me” proves that I really am “over
it.” The game is then repeated at ever decreasing intervals until I’m
not even bothering to argue with myself anymore. Soon, I’m buying and
smoking just like always.
——-
B1. Hey genius, if you were really “over it,” this notion would have
never even popped into your head. But it *did* occur to you, so at
some level, you must still “want” to smoke. What you do NOT want is
to be a smoker, and you know very well that if you continue playing
this game, you will be (are). Smoking is NOT a way to end the game…
smoking is playing along with the game, and encouraging whatever
perverse part of you wants to play to bring it up again. You know
very well that the only way to END it is to refuse to play.
C1. Ok, I’m stuck. What is a good C1? Go home and lock myself in?
Stop at the library and pick up a good book? Shoot myself in the
forhead, in the hopes that these thoughts will leak out through the
hole?
June 23rd, 2005 at 6:11 am
Hi,
First of all, I remember that game well. I played it many a time and it
turned out for me just as it turns out for you. Having said that, now I’m
going to ask you the same questions I finally had to ask myself. “Why are
you looking for some compelling arguement? Why do you need some ’slip
proof, mind game proof’ set of statements that will turn you, and/or
protect you, from yourself? Do you need to admit to yourself that you don’t
really want to be quit?”
When I got honest with myself, I didn’t like the answers I gave myself.
But they were honest and true and I had to admit that I wasn’t standing by
my commitment to me. I think the most effective C1 would be to go back to
your Foundation Statements, particularly the first, and start from the
beginning …. “Do I want to be a smoker?”
Steve