Finding the ‘want’ to quit
Thank you Pam for reposting that article.
Hi, my name is Steve and I am not a nicotine addict. And once
you’ve gone 3+ days without any nicotine, neither are you unless you
choose to smoke and become a nicotine addict once more. That 3 days is
not the end of anything except the need/feed cycle of an active
chemical nicotine addiction. Starting with the first day of your quit
and continuing on for several months, at least, is a phyiological
recovery that, from time to time, will feel horrid. Both entering into
recovery from nicotine use and, to a large extent, how you will
experience it, is your choice. When the going is rough, when you’ve
fought with the spouse and the kids, when the boss is on your case and
the clients are acting like morons, when you’re crying and don’t know
why, when you can’t string two intelligible sentences together …
whether or not you light up is entirely your choice. This has nothing
to do with addiction and everything to do with habit and established
behavior. How you choose to behave in any given situation is entirely
up to you. Cog quitting can help suggest different options, but it’s
up to you to choose.
If this sounds harsh, it’s just my frustration showing through. I
wish I knew of a ‘way’ to help you decide what you want to do and
another ‘way’ to help you stand by your decision. There is no ‘way’
other than your commitment. This is your quit. This is your choice.
What will it be?
Steve
July 1st, 2005 at 12:47 am
Hello Everyone,
I had to share my good news. I am still cancer free. I had a
lung/abdomen scan Wed. and then a bone scan on Thurs. I just heard from
my dr. and the results of the scan was no new cancer.
I’ve been gathering the information that I’ve found on this site and
have set tomorrow as the day that I read everything and begin to work on
this.
Judy
July 1st, 2005 at 7:00 pm
Congratulations Judy!
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:52 am
Judy-
that’s great news!!
work
Start with the foundation statements. Write out your lists. Do some
ABCs.
Steve
July 3rd, 2005 at 7:53 pm
Vicki,
I’m sorry you were offended by my post. It was in response to Pam’s post
and I took the opportunity to air some of my views. My post was not
addressed specifically at you as you are not the only 12 step person in the
group.
I phased it the way I did not to mock anyone, but rather to start from a
position that many relate to and attempt to show, yet again, that you (the
plural ‘you’) can not be addicted once you are more than 3 days off
nicotine. You are certainly still habituated, but that habit is something
that most people aren’t dealling with.
A majority of quitters, not just those involved in 12 step programs,
believe they will be addicts for life. That comes with the corollary belief
that they will need to be ‘on guard’ for the rest of their lifes. And both
of those beliefs seem to be consequent to the belief that the individual
was not, is not now, and can not be in control. All of this comes back to
individual’s responsibility. This is a procedural and conceptual conflict
with most cognitive approaches and may explain why 12 step programs and
cognitive approaches rarely seem to be reconcilable.
I am not a nicotine addict and haven’t been one since 3 or 4 days after
I quit on March 15th of ‘96. Unless I choose to start using nicotine again,
I will never again be an addict. Having changed my response associations to
the events that were previously reasons to light up, I am not on guard or
vigilant nore is there need to be. I have always been the one in complete
control of my behavior as is every other smoker and quitter. If I want to
create change, it’s up to me to find a way to change. Others may help with
support and suggestions, but change is entirely in our hands. My
observations over the past several years are that these beliefs lead to a
solid cognitive quit.
Steve
July 8th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
I don’t make much distinction between the physical and the psychological
addiction, but Steve it sounds like you do. Could you say more about
this.
Judy