March 21, 2003

Tomorrow is big day! I’m excited and scared,nervous,terrified. I have all my
lists, ABCs, etc. It’s been tough stepping away for a minute and try to get a
handle on the physical sensations of the feelings, but I’m working on it. My
big thing is closing all the “back doors” i.e I’m not going to smoke on a DAILY
basis, but I can smoke when I go out with my friends, or if I have a very
stressful day. I’m famous for “I’m going to buy a pack, smoke a few and throw
the rest away”. And, as we all know, that pack very rarely ever hits a trash can
until its empty. Those back doors are closed now. I know its easier to smoke
none than one. Cigs don’t help in ANY situation, and if they do anything it
only makes it worse. i have completely structured my life around smoking and i
waste 2 hours a day standing around, killing myself. That is time I could be
spending with my family or just relaxing in a constructive way.
My goal is to become a happy, energetic and effective mother. I don’t know any
truly happy smokers. I know that smoking is not conducive to my goal and,
therefore, will have to cease and desisit or I will just keep spinning my

wheels.
Kris

2 Responses to “March 21, 2003”

  1. Raleigh Missy Says:

    Hi Kris,
    Keep your ABCs for tomorrow close at hand. Think out how you will deal
    with everything you can predict, plan out how you’ll deal with the
    suprises. And stay close to here :) I think you’ll find tomorrow will under control.
    Steve

  2. carmelita_1300 Says:

    You have done the work Kris and you will be f-i-n-e! PegS

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