Roll call time!
How’s everyone doing? Joanne, Peg, Marilyn, Glenn, Mary, Queenie, Carmen,
Ion…… who have I forgotten? And anyone who’s lurking but not posting,
please feel free to email one of us for help if you need it. Posting
questions/progress/difficulties benefits everyone - there are bound to be ppl
here who’ll think ‘oh yea, I felt that’ or ‘this is what I did’ or ‘have you
tried….’ A cog quit really is an active quit, and discussing things ‘out
loud’ really does help, specially with others who are on the same quit path.
Way back in autumn of 2001, soon after Steve started this group, there were a
group of us who did just that: Indi, who had discussions with her Hermy (her
version of Warren), Cat (well known for her fork throwing when Warren wasn’t
learning his stuff)and a few others too. We tried to post regularly and compare
notes and cog techniques, and we’re all still comfortably quit today.
Lets hear from you!
- Pam
October 2nd, 2005 at 11:25 am
hi all –
everything going well here. i’m at just shy of 7 wks quit and feel great.
i’ve just this past week or so realized how rarely i think of smoking
now, even through a few family worries and a sick horse tonite. wow! what
a sense of freedom!!
my mantra will always be “focus, focus, focus”!!! what an amazing
difference to actually acknowledge and examine every physical and
emotional feeling, instead of trying to ignore them. i think not fighting
with “me” is one of the main things that made this quit successful –
thanks so much, steve and pam!!
peg.
October 3rd, 2005 at 12:48 am
Hi - I’m here. Better late than never
Still working through my ABCs’. Still having problems with the
morning “I want somethings” Can’t seem to get a handle on it. I’ve
tried getting something to eat. But the last couple of days I’ve had
the urge first thing in the morning, when I’ve never had it that
early before.
Now I’m wondering if maybe there’s a particular vitamin or mineral
that’s been depleted from my body through all these years of smoking
Maybe Warren is actually looking for that vitamin.
Has anybody found any difference in taking vitamin C? Or multi-
vitamins?
Any help would be much appreciated.
Thanks
Marlene
October 3rd, 2005 at 8:03 am
Hi - I’m here. Better late than never
Still working through my ABCs’. Still having problems with the
morning “I want somethings” Can’t seem to get a handle on it. I’ve
tried getting something to eat. But the last couple of days I’ve had
the urge first thing in the morning, when I’ve never had it that
early before.
Now I’m wondering if maybe there’s a particular vitamin or mineral
that’s been depleted from my body through all these years of smoking
Maybe Warren is actually looking for that vitamin.
Has anybody found any difference in taking vitamin C? Or multi-
vitamins?
Any help would be much appreciated.
Thanks
Marlene
October 3rd, 2005 at 3:25 pm
Congratulations to all of you. It’s great that so many are checking in.
To the newbies:
Do the work. Make out your lists, pay attention to the physical
sensations, start responding consciously to what your body is
feeling. You’ll find this quit to be different than anything you could
imagine.
To you who have been quit a while:
Keep doing what you’re doing. You know it works, keep it rolling.
Thanks to all of you who have posted. Lets see some ABCs?
Steve
October 7th, 2005 at 4:55 am
Hi Glenn,
you wrote:
I was a few hours shy of being 7 days off the butts,
and I lost my connection to my decision made in a
“calm, rational moment.” I wasn’t calm and I wasn’t
rational, instead quite distant from either.
and then you wrote:
I was hurt, angry, and resentful, and inundated by lots
of other unidentified feelings that seemed to be pouring
out of my heart.
And in that state, I calmly and rationally (so it seemed
in my delusional state) walked to the store to buy a pack
of cigarettes. Not to smoke “a cigarette”, or “two or
three cigarettes”, but to smoke a pack of cigarettes.
I’m not sure it’s important whether you were calm and/or rational.
Bottom line is you chose to smoke in response to some intense emotions
and, presumably, strong physical sensations. By choosing to smoke you
once again revalidated the precedent that smoking is an
effective/acceptable response to a situation that involves intense
emotion. By choosing to smoke you’ve ’stated’ that you are ambivalent
as to whether or not you want to be a smoker, that there *are*
situations where smoking is an appropriate response, that you not
prepared to hold these statements as your truths and behave
accordingly. The entire point of the Foundation Statements is to
refocus your perspective and help you out of exactly the situation in
which you found yourself… you chose not to use them.
Cognitive quitting can help examine old behaviors and retrain
Warren’s actions. But it can not make our decisions for us. It all
begins with whether or not we want to be smokers. Glenn, what’s it
going to be?
Steve
October 8th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Glenn-
I think you are wrong. The people in this group are here because
they want to quit and have not found another method that either suits
them or works as well as cog quitting. As for ‘comfort’, that’s a
function of disconnecting the old beliefs and creating appropriate
responses. However, while we’re learning we must expect to be
uncomfortable. Quitting, regardless of how it’s done, is initially an
uncomfortable experience. The only learning curve involved is in
becoming adept at using the cognitive tools and that’s based on the
assumption that there is no question as to whether or not you want to
be quit. Your temporary and periodic ‘amnesia’ is an indication that
you have yet to decided which way you’re going with this. To those of
us who have been down the same road you are on, it’s just that simple.
I have to agree with Colette, when you finally decide you don’t
want to be a smoker “You will choose not to smoke, and will find
smoking an unacceptable option, each and every time.”
To quote the great Yoda, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”
Steve
April 25th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
You’ve all gone verrrry quiet - that makes us anxious
Come on….post and tell us how you’re working your quits. Who’ve we
Write soon - its kinda lonely in here at the moment…
got here who’s ‘doing the work’ ie taking the simple steps to becoming
cognitively quit? Need any help or want to ask any questions? If
you’re shy about posting you can email either Steve or I off list at
ddsteve@… or pam@…. We don’t
bite heads off if you feel you’re asking basic questions or want us to
go through the steps to becoming comfortably quit - honest
Pam
April 26th, 2007 at 6:55 am
—- Pam <pam@…
Brenda here,
I am sorry that I haven’t posted lately,but I have been very busy with
appointments, looking for a new place for my family and I to live, babysitting
my nephew, among other things.
I am still having difficulties with my quit but I am down to only 5
ciggarettes a day compared to my 1 1/2 packs per day.
I am working very hard on my quit but am having some problems. I need to
find something that will keep my mind off smoking then I will be fine.
Have a nice day everyone.
Bye till next time,
April 27th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
—-
And as
Pam asked: If you’ve time, it would be great if you could describe to our
newbies and lurkers how you reached this point, and how you felt in
those days/weeks leading up to your quit date.
—-
I’m going to just start typing here and see what comes out…
For the longest time, I didn’t consider myself a smoker. Did any of you start
out that way? Before I knew it, I was smoking a pack or more a day and telling
myself it was “just because I’m stressed this week.” Next thing I knew, ten
years had gone by and I had to admit that I was a smoker.
I quit the day I found out I was pregnant, only to start up again two years
later.
I started noticing the negative affects smoking was having on my health. I got
winded easily from walking at a fast pace. I coughed a lot. My throat was sore a
lot. My allergies were always “acting up.” Money was tight and I felt guilty for
spending on cigs. It got so that every time I went to light a cig, I thought
about cancer. I thought about my daughter growing up without a Mommy, all
because I was dumb enough to smoke.
Yet even with all those negative aspects, I have to admit that I loved smoking.
It gave me something to do when I was self conscious. I felt like it helped me
cope with stress. It helped me meet new people, as you always chat with the
other smokers outside a building when you’re all huddled together around an
ashtray.
I had some friends who were adamantly opposed to smoking. They constantly
reminded me that I reeked of smoke (and I did), that I was poisoning myself
(because there are so many NASTY ingredients in cigarettes), and that it was
just as stupid to kill myself that way as to jump off a building, shoot heroin,
or what have you. I came to believe that it’s simply irresponsible behavior for
a mother. If I kill myself, where does that leave her? She’s an innocent child
who deserves a mother who cares enough not to destroy herself.
Basically, I just started feeling really crappy about myself every time I lit
up. So I decided to give myself the greatest birthday gift ever. I quit on
September 1, 2005.
The hardest part was really committing to quit. The physical withdrawal wasn’t
any fun, but it was the mental adjustments I had to make that really made the
difference. I did have some WILD mood swings early on, but it passed. The cog
quit method gave me the tools to retrain my patterns very quickly. When I’d
think, “oooooh, I want a cig,” I’d immediately start thinking about why I felt
that way. Was I tense? Did I need to stretch? Did I need to talk to someone and
“vent” some frustration? Did I just need some water or a snack? Did I need to
take a walk and break up the monotony of the day? I deal with stress by
stretching, breathing, drinking, etc. now. It works as well as a cig ever did
and I don’t have to feel bad about myself, destroy my health, or stink.
I’m still very self conscious, but smoking never helped that anyway.
far as meeting new people, I’ve found that it’s great to make new friends who
DON’T smoke. I have to honestly say that when a friend who smokes lights up, I
still feel nostalgic… but it fades QUICKLY when I remember that I DO NOT want
to be a smoker…
—
Pam asked: Did you find it hard to get to that ‘jump
off’ position and keep focussed on ‘doing the work’ ?
—
Yes. Getting to that “jump off” position was the toughest part. Here’s the deal:
I “tried” to quit a lot of times and “white knuckled” it and gave in after an
hour, a day or a week every time. Those attempts didn’t work for two main
reasons:
1. I didn’t truly want to quit. I had to get honest with myself. When I didn’t
truly want it, any excuse was good enough to smoke again. I had to stop
pretending that I wanted to quit, get serious with myself about how important
this issue is, and make a commitment.
2. I didn’t have the tools to quit successfully. I found cognitive quitting, and
tried the method after really making a commitment to quit. It has been
remarkable. Frankly, I still can’t believe it worked because it’s simple and
FREE, by the way.
It gives me such confidence when I hear from people in this group that they’ve
sustained 3, 5,10, 15-year quits. If they can do it, I can do it. And I’m gonna,
come hell or high water!
(P.S. You know all those people who roll their eyes when you say you’re going to
quit? It is SO GOOD to actually do it. I’ve had people tell me that they doubted
me and that they’re really impressed that I actually did it. I’m SO grateful for
this program and the people who contribute to this forum!!)