Replies & lists
Pam,
Thanks for the encouragement. You’re right. In the past I really
didn’t have any strategy at all. It was just throw out the cigs and
hang on. I like having a more proactive approach, and feel good
about this. One thing I am having problems with is identifying my
physical feelings. I guess I’ve never paid attention to them
before. I’ve been doing the timer exercise for the last 3 days, but
alot of the entries talk about how I feel emotionally, and even when
I try to think about how I feel physically, it is very hard to
pinpoint. I will persevere and keep at it. Maybe it will make more
sense as I go.
I thought I should post my Foundation Statement and my try at the 3
lists, so here they are:
Foundation Statement
1) I DO NOT want to be a smoker. I cannot handle the tightness
in my chest, the wheezing when I climb stairs or exert myself, the
embarrassment I feel when I am around non-smokers, the time that I
waste on being a smoker, the need to hide this aspect of my life, or
feeling like a failure for not being able to get a grip on this part
of my life.
2) There really is NO situation where smoking is an appropriate
response. I mean really, how ridiculous. Let’s shove a burning
stick in our face, harm our health and the health of our children,
shorten our life span, and look idiotic just because we’re bored,
stressed, happy, sad, etc.
3) I am prepared to trust that no matter how uncomfortable I
get, I can find an alternative response to whatever I am feeling. I
know this will take some real effort at times, but it will be a
retraining that will be worth it in the long run. The steps to get
there will be difficult, but I am willing to do the work to reap the
tremendous reward.
4) I will conscientiously address and deal with any health
issues, physical or emotional, that may arise. This one is going to
be a tough one for me because I am of the type where you just kind of
ignore things and they go away. I’m not big on confrontation, or
deep self-analysis, but just kind of blow things off, and usually
they smooth out on their own. I now know that by doing that, Warren
will be more than happy to stick to the status quo and reach for a
cigarette. I need to be much more aware!
5) In order to retrain Warren, I WILL DO THE WORK. Reading and
thinking alone will not make permanent changes to my patterns of
behavior. Even though life can become extremely hectic and busy, I
need to find the time to work on this, and take it seriously. I need
to stop what I am doing when I get those thoughts of smoking, and
examine them carefully to find an alternative response.
List 1 - Reasons To Smoke
(After each one of these I put the associated emotion/condition in
parentheses)
-Getting up in the morning. Need that quick fix to get going (tired?
Habit)
-Drive into work. Need 3 smokes for a 45 minute drive to make sure
my nicotine level is high enough by the time I get there to make it
2 2 ½ hours before my next smoke break. (Bored, Antsy)
-Break time at work. (Antsy)
-Lunch time. Have one quick before eating since it’s been awhile,
and of course after eating to help digest. (Full)
-Break time again. Run outside for a quick one. (Antsy)
-Drive home. Again, have 3 smokes. Pace them in a way that I know
where I will have the last one so that I finish it just before I
drive into the driveway. (Bored, Antsy)
-After a meal. Gotta digest. (Full)
-Time killer. Okay, I’ve got 5 minutes before x is done (dinner,
homework, bed time, this could be anything) quick have a smoke.
(Antsy)
-Someone Called! If the phone rings, and I have to be talking on it
anyway, I might as well step outside and have a smoke! (Could be
happy, bored, sad, depends)
-Pissed Off. Man x really makes me angry (again, x could be anything
or anyone.) I’m going to go have a smoke and cool off. (Angry)
-REWARD! What a great job. I got something accomplished! Now I get
to sit outside and relax and smoke. (Happy)
-Need timeout. The kids, dogs, husband, work, whatever, is driving
me nuts. I need to go sit outside by myself and have a smoke.
(Tired, frustrated, antsy)
-Hunger. I can hold off eating a little bit if I go have a smoke.
(Hungry)
-Before climbing under the covers at night. Time this so that it’s
not too soon and my nic level will fall before I actually fall
asleep, and start wanting another, and not too late where I then am
too wired to fall asleep. (Tired, relaxed)
-Seeing someone else smoke. Hmmm. That looks good! Even in a
movie, if someone is smoking a lot, I will go have one. (Antsy)
-Thinking about smoking. Writing this list, makes me want a
cigarette! (?)
-Happy! Oh, life is good, let’s have a smoke. (Happy)
-Before an event (Could be anxious, bored, worried, or nonchalant)
-Having a drink. Nothing goes with a glass of wine like a
cigarette!!!!!!! This one is my biggest concern (Happy, relaxed,
excited)
-Sitting out by the fire up north. Nothing like the great outdoors
and a cigarette. (Sick!) (Relaxed)
-Excited
-Relaxed
-Talking with people. (Antsy)
-Not feeling good? Stomach/head/chest hurt? Maybe a cigarette will
help (sick)
-Wanting to hang on to that one part of myself that hasn’t changed in
the last 20 years. Everything about me has changed, but I am still a
smoker. Somehow it identifies me.
List 2 Emotions and Conditions
-Happy -Sad
-Angry -Bored
-Nonchalant -Loving
-Hating -Worried
-Scared -Concerned
-Frustrated -Hot
-Cold -Hungry
-Tired -Full
-Needy -Antsy
-Anxious -Relaxed
-Excited
List 3 Physical Sensations
Sore neck
Shoulders tight
Legs twitchy
Stomach empty
Cold
Hot
Breathing fast
Breathing slow
Arms tight
Teeth clenched
Still working on this list.
I have no idea. The pharmacy I go to gave me absolutely no
documentation to go with the medication, and I was too embarrassed to
admit that I was trying to quit smoking to ask any questions. (I
know, I’m retarded) I asked a friend who also used Zyban, and she
seemed to think she had taken it a week and then quit. The way it
makes me feel, I think I will be ready to stay with my quit date,
just so I can get off the stuff. It’s making me feel wiggy and out
of touch.
You described my previous quit attempts pretty accurately. While at
lunch today I tried an ABC about a situation that I worry about. Let
me know if it’s correct.
A - I’m at lunch, and only have a little bit of time so I’m feeling
rushed and busy. I want to get certain things done. I’ve been
sitting at my desk for several hours, so my body is slightly cramped,
and antsy.
B - Having a cigarette will help me calm down, focus on what I need
to accomplish, and amp me up before I have to go back to work.
C - Have a smoke
B1 - I want to be a non-smoker. Smoking will not calm me down, it
will just make my rushed feeling feel even rushier. I need to find
another way of dealing with this feeling.I
C1 - I can make a list of what needs to be done and make sure I get
that done, and then go for a short walk to burn off the rushed, antsy
feelings. I can make sure I stretch out my neck and shoulder muscles
and take some deep breaths to feel refreshed.
How’s that. Anyway, sorry to go on so long. Just trying to get the
hang of this!
Thanks,
Amy