hi all new members, i’m one too…
Hi, I’m Ellen and I have Warren sitting on my head, smacking me in
the face every time I step out of line. I’ve been a smoker for 10
years now at about a pack per day. this is my first post to this
group. I’ve tried countless numbers of time to quit. If it wasnt
for that imminent threat of cancer of all kinds and all organs, or my
athsma wich wakes me up at night and forces me to use an inhailer
every morning, I wouldnt be posting this message in a club like
this. I wouldnt be on the patch right now (first day, yet again) and
I wouldnt be so ready to assign Warren a new task. If it where not
for all of this, I would be buying cigs by the carton and smoking 3
packs per day instead of one. I’m only 27 soon to be 28 next month
and I dont want to die in an iron lung, wich is the way I’m headed.
Can you imagine having to use an inhailer every morning, sometimes
even twice a day at 27? how could I have let it go so far?
Anyway, i’m looking for some support now. I know this is going to
REALY SUCK. It already sucks now considering that my personal life
sucks so bad as to make me want to chain smoke untill my lungs fall
out of my a** h***, but i’m willing to give it a
shot…again…here…
I’ve read through the “Warren story” and heres what i’ve come up with.
1, reasons to smoke: My x-boyfreind still wants to be freinds. (i
dont realy want to be freinds with someone who said, “aww, does this
mean youre going to be bitchy?!?” after i declared that I was going
to quit. I’m living with my parents because i cannot support myself
with the money I make at the job I have. My dog is litteraly my best
and ONLY freind. I am low on cash. My job is stressfull (but in a
good way) and unfortunatly smoking is how I respond to stress.
2, Emotions and conditions: i’m guessing this is where I list
emotions and conditions underwich I would light up:
Sadness…more sadness. Unhappy. Having want for something I cant
have. Anticipation. Waiting. Anger. Fealing full from devouring a
large meal. I cant think of anything else now.
3, Physical sensations, where and how: Usualy before work or before
i’m thinking about talking to someone on some emotional level. or
dealing with an intimidating situation. in that situation, I feal
scared. My heart beat goes up, I get hot under the collar. Most of
the time I draw a blank and get a nasty case of the fight or flight
fealing. Sometimes I can feal the surge of adrenalyne swish in my
stomach and shoot down my limbs. Sometimes, during a craving it
feals like the inside of my veins itch, or are being tickled by
something. Its a horriable fealing. not sure how crazy that sounds
but at this point, I dont care.
Its getting late. I think that this is a good time to end this long
letter. Hope someone finds all this interesting. not fealing very
interesting is another reason for why I’d like to pick up a cig.
Things could be worse I suppose. But i dont want to think about
being a quadropleagic right now. Maby I’ll get to the ABC’s a little
later…I’m still trying to figure that one out…
take care all, and good luck w/your quits.
Ellen