Cognitive Quit Smoking

Ok - It’s time to cowboy up as we say in the wild wild west. I had a
moment of drama and panic last night. I was feeling pretty lost and alone.
After a night of not sleeping and some early morning quiet time, I’ve come up
with a very long ABC to handle my general sense of anxiety - about everything.
A. I have a general sense of nervousness, anxiety, intensity. my neck and
shoulders are tight as ticks, I have my dreaded tension headache which is
debilitating. I have feelings of anger, sadness, impatience, intolerance. I’m
finger-tapping tense. These feelings are brought on not only by my son’s
family’s visit but by the changes I’m experiences as a non-smoker and real life.
B. In the past I could hide behind my cigs and alcohol to ease my feelings.
Have a glass of wine and a dozen or so cigarettes and cruise through life.
Handle any and everything with ease.
C. Smoke and drink
B1: Since I no longer smoke, nor do I want to be a smoker, using cigarettes to
deal with my nervous anxiety and my life is not an option for me. Cigarettes or

worse yet the combo of cigs & wine would only temporarily calm me. I’d feel
like total crap afterward - my chest would ache, I’d be wheezing and in general
feel awful and would start all over again. Then I’d be in even more of a funk -
feeling guilty and unworthy as well as hungover and stuffed with chemicals.
Life would still be there snapping at my heals and my reaction would be to avoid
confronting it by smoking. Smoking wouldn’t solve anything or make anything
FEEL better.
What can I do to address my feelings?
1. Noise is a big anxiety producer. I’ll say something to the family when the
noise levels reach a crescendo. I’ve always been noise sensitive and why should
I ignore that because I have a lively 4 y.o. visiting. I just need to explain
my needs.
2. I need my sleep. I’ll make sure I get good rest even if I have to take a
part of a sleeping pill or a muscle relaxant to do so.
3. I’ll jack up my anti-depression medication.
4. I’ll consciously try to be more relaxed and playful. Playing is good and I
need to relearn how to do so. It helps ease my tension.
5. Laugh and laugh and laugh
6. Handwork - creativity. Start those projects I’ve had in my mind for weeks.
Get off square one and do it!!!
7. Take frequent time outs - go into bathroom, bedroom, garden, anyplace quiet
and do deep breathing and short meditations, relaxation exercises.
8. Chew gum, doodle, STOP eating so much sugar - it just winds me up even more.
9. Be aware of tension building and cut it off at the pass with a time out,
brief walk, cold water, lie down for 5 minutes. Don’t let it get a hold on me.
10. Work on positive attitude. I’ve been focused on how hard qutting smoking
is and how I want others around me to notice and accommodate me - Well GET OVER
IT!!! Time to let go of the take pity on me routine.
11. Eat right - I’ve been off my feed lately.
12. Write my foundation statements and this ABC on a recipe card and carry it
with me or have it handy to review frequently throughout the day - Remind myself
of what it is I’m doing. Review my lists and my quit journal. WORK IT.
13. Talk with my son and daughter-in-law. Ask their patience. I need to be up
front with them about what’s going on with me. Not to seek sympathy but to
create a team atmosphere with all of us pulling in the same direction. If I get
brave enough, I’ll have them read this ABC.
14. Recognize and ADDRESS my peri-menopausal symptoms. The may also be
contributing to my mood swings and anxiety.
15. Take a hot bath at the end of the day.
16. Get up early and get quality contemplation time without interruption.
17. Acknowledge, accept and understand change. Smoking never solved or
addressed anything. It just masked what I was really feeling. It allowed me to
function in a safe, secure coccoon of smoke. It hid me from dealing with real
feelings. I could avoid life by smoking. It’s time to wake up and charge head
on into life. This is a big, big change. I’m 47 y.o. and an emotional cripple
because of smoking. Time to see the real world and the real me, as scary as
that may be at times, it’s also exciting and new. I’ve been all my adult life
under the shroud of smoking. Naturally without smoking I’m not going to be the
same person. Be patient - wait and observe the metamorphosis - the emerging
butterfly. I need to recognize and embrace the changes - not resist them. Quit
worrying and obsessing about quitting smoking.
C. Work on all of the above in a positive way - I’m not giving up something,
I’m emerging into a new and vibrant person. By dealing with my smoking, I’m
also dealing with my life. It’s gonna be okay.
Take care my friends.
Carol

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 20th, 2005 at 12:22 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.