Hello to all !
Joined the group and starting again today the road to recovery. I
stopped for 2 months and last week made that grave mistake of “one
puff’ which was the needle in the arm. Happy to be in the group and
will find and give support in the detox venture of cleaning ourselves
and getting fresh air.
Steve
December 1st, 2005 at 8:00 pm
Hello Steve and the group. I, too, joined the group today and am
experiencing ANOTHER Day 1 nicotine-free. Day 1 sucks so bad sometimes
that I can’t help but keep wondering why I have that first puff, which
leads to a pack, which leads to nothing but the desire to quit again.
If I don’t ever have another cig, I won’t EVER have to live through
another Day 1. Yay! I can move on and stop repeating the past.
-Calvin
More than 600 additives can legally be added to tobacco products.
Tobacco smoke contains over 4,000 different chemicals. At least 43 are
known carcinogens. For 8 Hours 47 Minutes 25 Seconds, I have chosen to
avoid those chemicals by not smoking 3 cigarettes. I have also saved
$0.92.
December 2nd, 2005 at 5:19 am
Calvin….I am going through the same “pain” you are, so I most heartedly
know what you are dealing with. I have my mind made up positively…this is the
last “quit” I am ever going through in my life. How bout you? Luu
December 2nd, 2005 at 10:37 am
Hi Calvin and Luu and Steve,
There is a reason why we take that first puff after having gone
through yet another ‘day 1′. The reason is that pain has a very short
memory. Pain and, in fact, all discomfort becomes distant and vague in a
relatively short time. This is why I don’t ask people to make a list of
their reasons to quit. Reasons to quit are fine for getting us started, but
they’re rarely powerful motivators to keep us quit.
Our reasons to smoke at any particular moment are based entirely on
what we are experiencing in that moment. That we went through a ‘day 1′ a
week or three ago is of less than no importance. That we told ourselves
“I’ll never smoke again” or “This is my last quit” is all very serious and
valid in this moment when we’re dealing with another day 1, but haven’t we
been here before? What’s different about this time? The urgency? The
desperation? That’ll fade just as it has every other time. I know this
is sounding awfully negative and I don’t want to deter anyone from
quitting… but I also don’t want to see any of you going through the same
steps that have failed you in the past. Remember, the definition of
insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different
results. This time make sure you won’t have to go through another day 1
by changing how you manage all the days that come after this ‘last day 1′.
So what do I suggest? Write out the Foundation Statements, I’m posting
them below. If you have a problem with any of them, lets talk about it.
Write our your 3 lists, I’m posting the directions for those below too.
Get started doing the work of a cognitive quit and you will very quickly
find yourself in control.
Steve
Foundation Statements:
During a moment of personal calm, I rationally determined that…
1- I DO NOT want to be a smoker.
2- There is NO situation where allowing Warren to choose a smoking response
will be appropriate.
3- I’m prepared to trust completely that no matter how uncomfortable,
cranky, or confused I may be, these foundation statements are ALWAYS true
and I will always help Warren find a nonsmoking response to whatever I am
feeling.
4- I will conscientiously address and deal with any health issues, physical
or emotional, that may arise.
5- In order to retrain Warren, I WILL DO THE WORK. Reading and thinking
alone will not make permanent changes to my patterns of behavior.
3 Lists:
List 1- Reasons to smoke. (These are what most of us perceive as our
‘reasons to smoke’. You’ll soon see that they are nothing more than events
that occur in a routine life and really have no direct connection to a
fluctuating nicotine level. The only exception is, of course, an active
nicotine addiction. But you’ll be getting rid of that soon enough.)
This list contains every reason you can think of where you would light
up. Everything from phone calls to driving to anger and hunger, getting up
in the morning and going to bed at night, times, places, any and all
reasons you can think of. This list could become huge. Do what you can,
don’t get overwhelmed.
List 2- Emotions and Conditions
This list is of all the emotions (happy, sad, lave, hate, etc) and
conditions (hot, cold, hungry, tired) that you experience. This list is
usually no more than 12 - 20 entries. If some seem to be variations on
others in your list, don’t worry about, just include them. The list will
still be relatively short. Once you’ve got this written out, try to take
each of your ‘reasons’ in list 1 and associate it with an emotion or
condition from list 2.
List 3- Physical sensations: where and how
Take each of the entries in List 2 and imagine experiencing that
particular emotion or condition. What does it ‘feel’ like physically? Where
do you feel it i.e. muscles in the back, shoulders, neck, and face? Does
the experience of that emotion or condition include changes in how you
breath (rapid, slow, deep, shallow) or heart rate? Are there abdominal
sensations or feelings in your chest? if so, describe them.
There are a very limited number of ways we experience emotions and
conditions in physical terms. You are going to find that some emotions
and/or conditions use very similar sets of physical sensations and that
it’s only within the context of the situation that we can say, “I’m angry”
or “I’m anxious”. This list of physical sensations will be very short.
December 2nd, 2005 at 4:48 pm
Welcome to all new quitters!!! I’m almost at 2 months quit and have had a
relatively easy time of it by following Steve’s advice and doing the homework.
If you do the work, you won’t have the difficulties with urges and feeling like
you are “hanging on”. Cognitive quitting really does work, but only if you work
at it. It’s the best gift you can give yourself.
Take good care.
Carol