Cognitive Quit Smoking

I am a manager of a production area and today I had to have a
very “unpleasant” meeting with a worker. In short, I had to verbally
reprimand this person for something they had done that was wrong.
My smoking behavior in the past would have been to:
1. smoke before I prepared the documentation, (to think better)
2. smoke after I prepared the written documentation (to think it
over)
3. smoke before I had the reprimand meeting with the employee (to
calm my nerves)
4. smoke after I had the reprimand meeting (calm my nerves.)
Here’s what would have happened in pre-quit ABC terms:
A. I have to do something unpleasant, but important and unavoidable.
My stomach is in a knot, I have butterflies, and my heart is pounding.
I don’t want to turn this meeting into an emotional confrontation and
I need to remain calm, no matter what happens.

B. A cigarette will help me think this through and keep my mind
focused. I will be calmer. It will steady my nerves.
C. I smoke through all 4 steps, and when it’s all over, I chain smoke
3 or 4. Two to calm down, and 2 to celebrate it’s over.
Ex-smoker current quit ABC terms: (the way it went down today)
A. I have to do something unpleasant, but important and unavoidable.
My stomach is in a knot, I have a shakey feeling in my hands, my
breathing is shallow and I am tense all over. I repeatedly find
myself holding my breath. I am so tense I get diaherra. I start to
get a headache. I start talking to myself like an old smoker:
B & B1 (This is how the dialoge in my head went)
This is big stuff. If this gets screwed up, it will look bad for the
employee, the company and for me. If I smoke, it will help me not be
so jittery.
I know there are a lot of firsts to go through in quitting, but I’m
not ready for this one….maybe I’ll put the whole thing off until my
quit is easier.
Don’t be ridiculous. This has to be attended to today. It’s your job.
If I smoke, I’ll feel nauseous because it’s been 19 days since I
quit.
Where would I get a cigarette anyway? If I bum one, everyone will
know I fell off the wagon and I’ve been bragging about my quit.
Smoking is stupid.
Remember how you hated going out in the cold? Remember how you
didn’t like the smell of a smoker? Remember the feeling of being
controlled by something other than your own self?
(I didn’t remember to remind myself of my foundation statement, or I
would have)
Just relax. Breathe deep and slow. Again. Focus on the document.
C. I breathe slow and deep 3 times, stretch my arms over my head to
relax them, and type the documentation. As soon as it’s finished, I
talk a brisk walk to the cafeteria to get a coffee.
(The documentation is finished…now I’m starting to worry about
the reprimand meeting)
B & B1 I’m so nervous. I wish I could smoke. A smoke would help me
be brave, and it would calm me down.
A smoke would not make me brave or confident or relaxed. Those
things reside inside of me, not inside of a cigarette.
I’ve done this before, and I know how to go about doing it. I’ve
planned it out and it will be OK, no matter what happens. It’s not
like I haven’t done this before.
Yeah, but I’ve never done it without being doped up on nicotine.
It’s like jumping out of an airplane for the first time with a
parachute strapped to my back. I know it will open. (I hope)
I know I’ll be OK. (I think)
Stop it. You made it through the stress and demands of yesterday
when everything was coming at you a million miles an hour. You
didn’t cave in then, and you aren’t going to now. This isn’t about
physical need, it’s about twisted thinking. You will be more
rational, more calm and more in control without nicotine.
C. I breathe in and out - slow. I do that 4 times. I walk quickly
out to the water cooler, get a drink of water, and then walk quickly
back to my office. I breathe deep. Hold it and let it out slow.
I walk out to where the employee is working and summon the employee
to my office. My hands are sweating, but I focus on the work I have
to do, not my physcial feelings.
AFTERWARD:
old B & B1.
I need a smoke. I always smoke after something like this because it
calms me down and helps me think it over.
I’ll be OK. The urge will pass soon. I’m just a little tense.
It’ll be over in a few minutes.
A cigarette is like closure. It’s like the signal that the meal is
over. I can’t stop thinking about a cigarette.
Take a quick walk, anywhere. Get some air. Get some new scenery.
Get a drink. Stop obsessing on cigarettes. Breathe. Stop holding
your breath. You need to learn that you can experience these things
without nicotine and not fall to pieces. You’re doing fine so far.
19 days. Don’t blow it now over something as dumb as this. This
won’t be the last time you’ll have to do something like this, so pay
attention and learn a new way of dealing with your nerves.
C. I leave my office, head quickly down to the cafeteria and start to
hum a song to myself. (It forces me to breath, and not hold my
breath and gets my mind occupied with something besides what I just
experienced)
How’d I do???? I know this is kinda long, but I’m not sure if I’m
thinking of this correctly, or if I’m setting myself up for a fall
later.
I still have the 1/2 thought every now and again that I need to close
the event with a cigarette. I’m ignoring it because it’s a dumb
idea.
Sure am glad it’s Friday!!!

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 23rd, 2006 at 4:35 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.