ABC on Dealing with mothers and other such relatives for Deboquit
A: upset with my mother
B: we are so different, she questions and doubts my deciion making
ability. i hate it makes me feel stupid like a child, i am all
tensed up and sweaty heart pounding and i’m really mad here.
C:smoke my brains out!!!!!
B1 ok to be different wish could have mutual respect, she won’t
change, i am not stupid, i like me
i’m not a baby so i don’t need to act like one. i can calm down here
breath normally and just let this whole mess go, i don’t have to
continue this conversation that is so negative. muscles loosening
up and calmer
C1i don’t have to smoke my brains out , get out of neg conversation
or change topic. once hang up get qhysical to burn off excess energy
build up.
A: hubby’s ex-wife at the door
B: stomach in knots and heart pounding/ major anxiety here, i hate
confrontations!! she tries to stir up trouble any chance she gets.
oh dear not happy. got to do something to calm down. i’m not
smoking on this one i’m just not. telling myself here breathe,
breathe, breathe,. i can’t change her but i don’t have to allow her
around me either. i do not want to fight with her so i can tell her
i don’t want to fight and then walk away from a no win situation. i
can sit down do major breathing to calm myself.
C: do deep breathing and not allow fight/ get out of situation
immediately
5/10/03
A: discussion about hubby’s ex-wife/illness
B: yikes, I’m not happy about any of this. mental illness involved,
situation i cannot change. During the discussion i found my stomach
going in knots, i was getting sweaty and rapid breathing. I would
like to make this whole issue just go away and I can’t.
I need to do some deep breathing to calm stomach and breathing down.
I won’t smoke over it, I’ve already decided that. I need to change
my own attitude here as I can’t change the situation.
C: I can do some deep breathing, get out of this conversation,
because nothing can be done to change situation. I will let this go,
and realize some things I can’t change, and accept that fact. Let it
go by not dwelling on it or getting into conversations about the
issue.
while in the situation I was able to step back, acknowledge my
sensations and emotions, breath, and had to end the conversation .
I hope you find something useful here, it isn’t easy dealing with
off the wall relatives. It can be done with our dignity intact..
ion