Karen

A - The hour before dinner–a time I refer to as the “gangrene hour” when the children are ready to eat and need to calm down but are still restless and a time when I am tired, stressed and needing a break from the day.
B - In the past I comforted my anxiety by stepping outside (thus escaping the children) and smoking a cigarette to calm myself. Doing yoga and drinking water is a more effective and healthy strategy in reaching a calm state. It will also provide me with that last bit of energy I need to finish out the day. And my children will certainly benefit from a healthier, happier me.
C - Tomorrow I will lock myself in my bedroom and do a few yoga stretches (thus still escaping my kids but also staying close enough to hear them should any disaster strike) instead of smoking. I will open my window shades to let the light in and still get the feeling of nature I got by previously stepping outside to smoke. I will also drink a glass of water to help re energize my body.

Hopefully this improvement to my first ABC will be a success and therefore allow me to proceed on to my next ABC. Karen

Hi Karen,
This is excellent. Basically you’ve got it all there. However, I’m
going to rearrange your abc just a bit. Basically you’ve got it all
there. ALL of your ‘rational thinking’ should be in B. C is usually just a
restatement of something in B.

Try this…
A - the hour before dinner–a time I refer to as the “gangrene hour” when
the children are ready to eat and need to calm down but are still restless
and a time when I am tired, stressed and needing a break from the day.
B - in the past I comforted my anxiety by stepping outside (thus escaping
the children) and smoking a cigarette to calm myself. Doing yoga and

drinking water is a more effective and healthy strategy in reaching a calm
state. It will also provide me with that last bit of energy I need to
finish out the day. And my children will certainly benefit from a
healthier, happier me.
C - Tomorrow I will step outside and do a few yoga poses instead of
smoking. And also drink a glass of water to help re energize my body.
Steve

Try this…
A - the hour before dinner–a time I refer to as the “gangrene hour” when
the children are ready to eat and need to calm down but are still restless
and a time when I am tired, stressed and needing a break from the day.
B - in the past I comforted my anxiety by stepping outside (thus escaping
the children) and smoking a cigarette to calm myself. Doing yoga and
drinking water is a more effective and healthy strategy in reaching a calm
state. It will also provide me with that last bit of energy I need to
finish out the day. And my children will certainly benefit from a

healthier, happier me.
C - Tomorrow I will step outside and do a few yoga poses instead of
smoking. And also drink a glass of water to help re energize my body.
Steve

A - the hour before dinner–a time I refer to as the “gangrene hour” when the children are ready to eat and need to calm down but are still restless and a time when I am tired, stressed and needing a break from the day.

B - in the past I comforted my anxiety by stepping outside (thus escaping the children) and smoking a cigarette to calm myself. Tomorrow I will step outside and do a few yoga poses instead of smoking. And also drink a glass of water to help re energize my body.

C - Doing yoga and drinking water is a more effective and healthy strategy in reaching a calm state. It will also provide me with that last bit of energy I need to finish out the day. And my children will certainly benefit from a healthier, happier me.

Thanks, Karen
ddsteve <ddsteve@…

Hi Karen,
ABCs are basically a graphical model of behavior where A= an activating
event (lunch time, 2yr old tantrum, finishing a chore), B= beliefs (how we
‘believe’ it’s best to deal with lunch, the tantrum, a chore. our ‘beliefs’

are usually based on past experience of either what’s worked or what we’ve
always done.), and C= our response (always always based on our beliefs)
If you look at your timer logs, see if there are some events that you
can predict for tomorrow i.e. lunch time. Choose one or two events. From
your timer logs you can see what emotions/conditions/physical sensations
accompany that event and how you’ve dealt with them in the past. Armed with
that information you might write:
A- lunch time
B- I’ll be rushing to get the kids fed, feeling tired and frazzled. In the
past I’d have struggled through lunch, maybe grabbed a quick drag or three
(or would have wanted to). Tomorrow I’ll be ready to stand back for even a
few seconds and observe the situation, deep breathe, stretch to relieve
shoulder and neck tension.
C- I’ll be ready to address what my body is feeling with breathing and
stretching.
Tomorrow when ‘lunch’ happens, you’ll be ready to respond cognitively
to what you know your body will be needing. As soon as you do that, the
urge to smoke is changed into an urge to breath and stretch. With practise,
that will become how you’ll deal with all ‘lunches’.
Has this helped? If you’d prefer, let me know when you can get to chat
(time and time zone) and we’ll run through some senarios that you think are
likely to happen.
Steve

Thank you for checking up on me. I actually decided to take this past week off. Meaning I didn’t “feel” like working on my timers exercises. I’m still quit (almost two weeks now–hurray!) But having worked with cognitive therapy before I know that there are times when it is too overwhelming and I just need a break from thinking about myself–if that makes any sense. I also needed this week to focus on my two-year-old son whose behavior was getting a bit out of control. But now that he’s calmed down and I’ve calmed down I’m ready to move on to the next step which, I believe, is working on my ABC’s. Is there a template for ABC’s? Did I miss it on the web page? If not could you help steer me in the right direction on how these ABC’s work?

Thanks so much, Karen
ddsteve <ddsteve@…

Karen- how are you doing? Have you been working with any ABCs?
Lisa- what about you? Are you seeing patterns/routines that you can
prepare for?
Linda- congrats on your walk/run.
Joy- did you manage to work with your timer?
Steve- any observations as you come up on a your first month? What works?
What doesn’t? Changes in old
patterns?

Don’t get complacent. Make sure you stay on top of your quit until
you’ve got a solid handle on it. Do the work. (Actually, it’s no more work
than a ‘hanging on’ quit. AND it gets you to a place of control and
security within a short time. Then it’s no longer work at all.)
Steve