Saturday night out
Well, I went out last night with some friends from work. Steve had
actually helped me with ABCs for this night. I decided at the
beginning of the evening I would not drink a lot because I wanted to
maintain control. I ended up having 2 drinks about 3 hours apart and
then drank water because nobody wanted to take a cab and I figured I
would drive people home. I did feel outside of the group. The jokes
weren’t as funny. And their smoking did bother me. BUT! Here is the
what I learned. The only one I felt comfortable with was my friend
Becky (she smoked) but she was not getting ‘trashed’ like every one
else. So, I thought back to other times I had gone out with these
people, and I never have felt comfortable because I normaly don’t get
trashed and I very much dislike the type of bars they go to. There
was one time I had fun with them and enjoyed the bars and that was
the one time I went out with them and did drink a lot. But, when you
drink a lot you not only let your inhibitions down you let other
things slide that normally irritate you. Anyway, The jokes weren’t
as funny but it was fun to laugh at some of the stupidity. The
smoking bothered me but I think that was because I was getting a very
sore throat and couldn’t safely go outside. Which actually proves
how good of a decision I made to be a non-smoker because I thought
about how many times I lit up “just one” in the car with my daughter
in there thinking it wouldn’t hurt her and how many sore throats she
use to get even though I didn’t smoke “hardly at all” in the house. I
am the type of person who does not like to get drunk and lose control
and I’m not willing to do that to have fun once in a while with
people I don’t really feel comfortable with unless those conditions
apply 2.I really don’t like and never have liked the bar sceen. 3.
The ‘ok’ time I had last night didn’t have to do with the fact that I
was not smoking and was not drinking. It had to do with who I was
with and where I was and the frame of mind I was in. If I had decided
to drink heavily last night, I probably would have smoked because
when you drink heavily, you lose a lot of your control. And
honestly, choosing between drinking heavily and being a non-smoker is
an easy choice. I’m a non-smoker. I hope that doesn’t make me an
alcoholic because I honestly can only deal with one thing at a time
as far as addictions go!
I’m proud of myself for the decisions I have been making. It feels
really good.
Below are the ABCs Steve helped me come up with for going out with
friends last night.
A- I’ll be with some friends, there will be smoking and drinking.
B- In the past I’d smoke and drink with them. I will probably feel
‘outside’ of the group if I’m not smoking.
“I don’t want to be a smoker.” I’ve chosen not to smoke. I don’t
have to be smoking or drinking to be with my friends. Smoking and
drinking do NOT necessarily have to be the only ways for me to be part
of the event. The jokes will be just as funny. The friendship just as
warm. Their caring for me just as genuine. If the smoke gets too
heavy, I can step outside or to the ladies room to get some air. I’ll
keep my wits about me by NOT drinking too much. If I can’t be sure how
much ‘too much’is, I won’t drink alchohol at all. Some subtle
stretching will help if I find myself getting tense. I can observe the
situation, my friends, and my ‘place’ within this setting. I will be
aware and in control.
C- (In spite of that long winded B) I’ll limit my alcohol so I stay in
control. I’ll observe myself and others (smokers and nonsmokers). I’ll
take a ‘breathe’ break if necessary. I will be aware and in control.